miserable

[Levina-jade]

If it makes you feel better at least your only 24. I'm 26, still live at home and working my a** off at a shitty retail job 40 hrs a week for almost no pay just to pay bills, the rent my mother makes me pay, food and other bs. meaning I cant even afford to go to school and craw out of this hell. I've recently taken on the bills for the cat as he is pooping in the living room and my mothers response is he's 16 put him to sleep.

So while I have no ideas on how to help I CAN offer lost of understanding and support.  

[Gabrielle_AnimalLuver]

Akiska

I honestly don't know what you can do, if talking to her doesn't work then... *shrug* I sat down with my mom and told her flat out, the way she acted was why I jumped so quickly into the whole Utah thing, and ended up in the situation I did attempting to escape from her controlling, and emotional abuse. After that she calmed down a bit, but still, It's difficult to handle.

Perhaps getting something like... The top part here with a combination lock or master lock would help to ease your peice of mind. My sister had one on her door to keep my brother out when she left the house.

Or maybe if you sit down and talk to her again, make it less about your stuff, and more about the safety of the house hold pets? What if one of the rats managed to escape the cage [Aida has proven she can at least once] and Rascal got in there? Or even Cowboy? Rats are vicious fighters, and it could result in very serious injury to both of the animals involved.

The last time I brought it up, the excuse I got was that a lock would not look good. They would have to "drill holes in my door" So I think I will look into getting something myself. Because the lock on my bathroom door is simply a lil nob in the doorhandle which doesn't involved whole drilled into the door. However, for it to be worthwhile, I need to find a lock with a KEY. So I can lock it when I'm gone.  

[Akiska]

Gabrielle_AnimalLuver

Akiska

I honestly don't know what you can do, if talking to her doesn't work then... *shrug* I sat down with my mom and told her flat out, the way she acted was why I jumped so quickly into the whole Utah thing, and ended up in the situation I did attempting to escape from her controlling, and emotional abuse. After that she calmed down a bit, but still, It's difficult to handle.

Perhaps getting something like... The top part here with a combination lock or master lock would help to ease your peice of mind. My sister had one on her door to keep my brother out when she left the house.

Or maybe if you sit down and talk to her again, make it less about your stuff, and more about the safety of the house hold pets? What if one of the rats managed to escape the cage [Aida has proven she can at least once] and Rascal got in there? Or even Cowboy? Rats are vicious fighters, and it could result in very serious injury to both of the animals involved.

The last time I brought it up, the excuse I got was that a lock would not look good. They would have to "drill holes in my door" So I think I will look into getting something myself. Because the lock on my bathroom door is simply a lil nob in the doorhandle which doesn't involved whole drilled into the door. However, for it to be worthwhile, I need to find a lock with a KEY. So I can lock it when I'm gone.

I suggested what I did because it's quick and easy to install. Something that can be done yourself in a matter of 5 minutes. [Of course it doesn't help if they're just going to take it down.] But my response would have been something about wood filler, and stain when it comes off.  

[Ailinea]

Gabrielle_AnimalLuver

Yup, I know exactly how it sounds, to be fair it's difficult to explain how horrid she is. She'll flat out lie about it most of the time. "I wasn't in your room" "Really? wow, my shoes magically put themselves in my cupboard"

Or "I HAD to pick your clothes up off your floor, I was vaccuming" "Cause obviously I'm not capable of vaccuming my own room, and I fail to see why you needed to fold each item and put them in my cupboard BECAUSE you were vaccuming" Or my very favorite, when she took my neoprene wetsuit (which should be hung not folded to maintain it's form) and my LINGERIE and folded them and put them in my drawers because SHE decided, I needed to have more hangers available.

There is nothing in the world that stressed me more than this woman. I would be happier working THREE jobs, never having a day off, if it meant never seeing her again. I could have a wonderful day, and I come home, and she's obviously been through my room, moving stuff around, taking stuff etc, and I just feel like crying. It's her obssession to control every aspect of my life and her refusal to honor my very simple request quite simply. More than it is about her finding something I've hidden. (I don't hide anything, fact I like to leave gifts UNHIDDEN because she SHOULDNT be snooping.)

The problem with loans and burseries etc is that I have to NOT be living with my parents to get one. Which would mean taking a giant leap of faith, moving out, and hoping to get accepted. And even then, even living ON MY OWN, and not having anything to do with them, because they are my parents, and make more than a certain amount per year, the chances of me getting accepted to anything are slim to none.

SO it's mostly become about surviving my last year with them while preparing myself and looking for a place to live now. So that once school is done, and once my pay is constant and sufficient I can get out of here.

I use to wonder why I only saw my half brother once a year, how he could never call his own parents. But as I"VE grown older, I've come to realize, once you can physically get away from this family, you NEVER come back.

Ah, I see. Yeah, since I'm not in your shoes, I can't see your exact situation, but it sounds pretty stressful. I guess just be positive, and remind yourself that you won't be in that position forever. I was wondering about the loans because they just changed it in the US where you can claim yourself without your parents income at age 24.