Giving head...

[Neuneu]

Frizzzz

Neuneu

First time in a movie theater the other night. That was fun.

Pretty empty screening?

Ehhhh. We were in the far back and there were two rows of nothing in front of us. Movie was boring, but he enjoyed the movie and the bj. Win win for him. blaugh  

[a moon full of stars]

Xahmen

My opinion is this: If I'm not willing to stick my mouth there, then I have no business wanting to stick my d**k there.

Same thing with you women folk that don't like giving oral.
If you can't touch it with your mouth, then you shouldn't be touching it with your hoohah

dude, no. v****a/p***s relations don't have anything to do with mouth/genital relations.

my v****a doesn't vomit all over your d**k if it gets ticklish.  

[Xahmen]

a moon full of stars

Xahmen

My opinion is this: If I'm not willing to stick my mouth there, then I have no business wanting to stick my d**k there.

Same thing with you women folk that don't like giving oral.
If you can't touch it with your mouth, then you shouldn't be touching it with your hoohah

dude, no. v****a/p***s relations don't have anything to do with mouth/genital relations.

my v****a doesn't vomit all over your d**k if it gets ticklish.

I further explained my stance in my next post =P
Also, dibs on "p***y Puke" for my band name  

[a moon full of stars]

Xahmen

a moon full of stars

Xahmen

My opinion is this: If I'm not willing to stick my mouth there, then I have no business wanting to stick my d**k there.

Same thing with you women folk that don't like giving oral.
If you can't touch it with your mouth, then you shouldn't be touching it with your hoohah

dude, no. v****a/p***s relations don't have anything to do with mouth/genital relations.

my v****a doesn't vomit all over your d**k if it gets ticklish.

I further explained my stance in my next post =P
Also, dibs on "p***y Puke" for my band name

yeah i saw, it's still kind of insensitive. i'm all for if i get no head you get not head but not wanting to give head isn't really selfish unless they still expect to receive it. maybe it does mean you're sexually incompatible but perhaps having a d**k in her mouth is a traumatic experience, she might have trust issues about it or a more intense physical reaction than most people. it's kind of invasive and many women feel it's a degrading act for any number of reasons. simplifying it down to "NO YOU'RE A SELFISH b***h GO AWAY WE WILL NEVER HAVE ANYTHING SPECIAL" is just... well it's just wrong to me.

and there are men that aren't really gentle when their d**k is halfway down your throat. i think refusing to give head is a perfectly reasonable thing to do if you don't trust someone not to get carried away and choke you.  

[Frizzzz]

a moon full of stars

my v****a doesn't vomit all over your d**k if it gets ticklish.

Absolute hero... heart  

[Xahmen]

Okay so based off of the general reaction of people in this thread/other threads about oral:
if a man doesn't eat p***y because he feels it is degrading, traumatic, invasive, and he's afraid of being choked da' ******** out (you lady folks can get real aggressive when it comes to the Big O time, and on more than one occasion I know it's been impossible to breathe) HE is following under some "teenage boy stigma" mentality and worthy of ridicule (anybody remember Britt's boyfriend who refused to go down on her and how much s**t everybody talked about him for it).

If a woman doesn't want to preform oral then it is her right, she may be a traumatized person, she may just not want to do it, it may go against her morals, she may upchuck all over the ding-dong, the man is clearly going to ******** her into unconsciousness, and you're an insensitive a*****e for suggesting that in a highly personalized relationship existing between yourself and a hypothetical person a no-oral standpoint from the woman would put a serious crimp in your sexual life?

Yeah that's a huge double standard, guys, and it's one I've noticed for years with pretty much everyone in our age bracket.

In this day and age, guys are all but lambasted if they don't want to go down on a girl, but when it's flipped around nobody seems to be as quick with the sharp-witted remarks about immature mindsets.


Further more, I didn't simplify it down to "NO YOU'RE A SELFISH b***h GO AWAY WE WILL NEVER HAVE ANYTHING SPECIAL".
I didn't actually say anything along those lines, Lyd.
I said that if I am willing to put my mouth on your coin-slot (God I could come up with silly names all day), and you aren't willing to play my didgeridoo then we are going to have a compatibility issue.
Especially if the reason that I'm given in said hypothetical situation is anything regarding "I think it's degrading and I'm worried you're going to ******** a hole clean through the back of my throat", because at that point I know that not only is there no trust, but that you find touching a part of my body that I happen to be very attached to, to be degrading. Pretty sure the problem that would arise from that is a mess of hurt feelings, to be honest.

Like I said, imagine if it was the other way around.

EDIT: Just so it's clear, this is just an observation I've made based on my interactions with people online and in my personal life. In no way can I reasonably say that every single person agrees with this, nor can you say that just since you disagree, I must be wrong.
Also, this isn't some men's rights thing, and eating p***y is awesome and guys who don't do it because of stupid horseshit like "waaah it'll be gross" don't deserve the girls they are with.

Like I said, if you can't put your mouth somewhere, you have no place putting your genitals there.  

[a moon full of stars]

i never said any of that horseshit, it is the right of both parties to refuse whatever they like for whatever reasons they like. i agree that if you aren't willing to give oral then you shouldn't expect to receive it, whether the other person wants to give it regardless of this is up to them but if they express an interest and it's something you haven't tried before you should probably give it a go but don't sweat it.

also i was exaggerating your "if you won't give me oral i won't give you sex" philosophy which i just find entirely ridiculous, there are plenty things i would put in my mouth and never put in my v****a so i don't understand the logic of it the other way around. there are things i put in my vag that i would never put in my mouth also. the whole logic of it is entirely flawed.

your whole OMG DOUBLESTANDARD MISANDRY whatever is understandable to a point, i understand all of what you're saying and i get it i really do but there are some other things that come into consideration.
men in general are stronger than women, everybody i've slept with has been stronger than me, your giving head doesn't completely incapacitate your hands usually, if it does then you already have the trust issues down as ********. so, allowing that the man is stronger than the woman which is probably true in a majority of situations, it would not take an impossible amount of effort to dislodge yourself from the situation, even without hurting the other party.
however, women may not have that opportunity. there is literally no way i can force you to give me head besides... tying you up and rubbing my crotch on your face. sucking d**k on the other hand is an invasive act. it's entirely plausible for a man to force it upon a woman with very little effort. and even if it's a consensual act it can very quickly become uncomfortable in ways that the woman might not have a huge amount of control over. women aren't the only ones who get carried away at climax and due to the superior strength of the man there isn't a whole lot the woman can do besides scratch or bite, neither of which are desirable because he's just in the moment, i don't wanna punish him with castration for some accidental choking and he might like the scratching or not even notice.

so it's not really as simple as reversing the roles like you make out.

and it's not about touching something you're fond of being degrading, it's the act itself, there are many different things that many different people find degrading, sucking d**k could be a very difficult thing for some people, there being a lack of trust in some areas doesn't necessarily mean that there is NO trust, nor does it mean it can't be worked through. the person could have experienced some trauma that caused this difficulty and your dismissal of it is insensitive. not only that but for the reasons mentioned above, sucking someone's d**k can, for some people, maybe not all, represent a very extreme relinquishing of power over one's own body, which can obviously be extremely damaging to somebody's state of mind and might not be apparent in other sexual acts.

i'm not saying that these situations can't happen the other way around either, that's entirely possible too but usually as i said before it's a much less severe loss of control due to the man's strength.

i think in any relationship, especially sexual ones, boundries and respect for the other person are paramount but your arguments display very little attempt at understanding and respecting the hypothetical partner. you choose to hear "i'm not comfortable with performing x because y and z" which i think is a really reasonable expression of feelings and take it incredibly personally, failing to understand and respect the boundries of the other person, and yes, that is going to result in a mess of hurt feelings on both ends. but i'd much rather cause some slight and comparatively negligible hurt feelings than put myself in a situation which causes me extreme psychological trauma to please somebody who apparently can't respect me and my feelings. not worth it.

as a disclaimer i actually quite enjoy giving head and haven't refused to ever but i firmly believe if i ever wanted to refuse that then i shouldn't be in any way stigmatised for it. "i don't feel like giving head tonight honey, i'm feeling vulnerable and don't wish to build on those feelings, can we just have some nice sex instead?" isn't an unreasonable thing to say imo, neither is "i'm sorry, i really like you and find you sexually attractive but i have tried in the past and giving head is something i'm not currently - and may never be - comfortable with but i am still interested in pursuing a sexual relationship with you." and neither warrant a response of "Well you ain't getting this D, you selfish mook"

i think expecting some kind of unspoken contract between sex and oral is far more selfish.  

[Xahmen]

I guess I'm just insensitive towards hypothetical people, then?  

[Arianah]

My theory is, if you expect him to go down on you then you have to be willing to go down on him. That said, I gave from an abusive background and it took years to feel comfortable doing that with Craig. He, however loved going done on me. I never expected it nor did I ask for it. It was nice when it happened but for years every time I returned the favor I had flashbacks. He knew this and was ok with it. But the crux was that I never expected him to do it in a million years.


Now I'm all...you wanna blow job bebeh? Cummere.  

[Frizzzz]

Xahmen

"HE is following under some "teenage boy stigma" mentality and worthy of ridicule (anybody remember Britt's boyfriend who refused to go down on her and how much s**t everybody talked about him for it). "

When I mentioned not wanting to give head as being a "teenage boy stigma", that was in relation to what I have heard in my area from people my age, that giving head is not a "cool" thing for them to do and is not talked about among teenage boys, unlike receiving head or having sex.

It is perfectly acceptable for a guy to not want to give head for personal reasons/preferences/morals etc., what I have been refering to is the idea that guys don't want to, or atleast aren't open with their peers about wanting to give head because of a stigma attached to it that it is immasculating and not enjoyable.

When Breedney's boyfriend didn't want to go down on her it was unfair because she was giving him head. And it was suggested that she should stop giving him head to even the playing field, however she wanted to do it anyway, which is fair enough. She was upset by it, but she didn't decide that her not getting her way was a reason for her to deprive him of what he wanted, or from sex.
 

[a moon full of stars]

Xahmen

I guess I'm just insensitive towards hypothetical people, then?

no, i don't think you are, i just think you didn't think through the wider range of implications of what you said. i'm certain that if you got involved with somebody with these issues you'd be extremely understanding and help them work through it with you in an extremely sensitive manner. but what you said was flippant and could have easily been taken the wrong way.  

[Xahmen]

Makes sense.
But seriously ******** hypothetical people.
Asking for real rights and s**t  

[Arianah]

Xahmen

******** hypothetical people.
Asking for real rights and s**t

Best line ever  

[Xiporah]

I hate giving oral, because I hate the taste of sperm, and I choke a lot. However, I still do it and just try to get it over with because oral is pretty much the only way I can orgasm besides masturbation, so it's either give a blow job or don't have an orgasm. It's almost like, my payment for sexual pleasure? I guess? I dunno. It's like winning the lotto when they like eating p***y and then just want straight sex afterwards.

Either way, I gag a lot and won't give a bj to somene unless we are serious with each other. before Brandon, I pissed off a lot of hookups because I wouldn't do it. I didn't ask for it in return, but for ******** sake, people act like it's required.

 

[chinotenshi]

Frizzzz

I amn't against oral sex

This is the only part of this thread that concerns me at all.

AMN'T?