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iStoleYurVamps
iStoleYurVamps
Crew
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 Posted: Mon Oct 08, 2012 5:21 pm
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She almost didn't expect it to work. That this too, would fail, that somehow she would have failed him, failed Lifen. But the vial hit, and the change made her hope, pray even, that she hadn't harmed him. Nothing lasting, she just wanted her friend back. She wanted his back, his stupid fan, his stupid smile, his stupid insult, his stupid face, his stupid honest comments, his stupid company- his stupid, pathetic, honest, kind, helpful friendship. Lan had lost everyone, Mengyao was one of the only ones left. She couldn't lose him too. Not like this, not to insanity was well.
His scream had her pulling back, bow brought up to defend herself. He was there, normal, not taken from them by grey mists. He was shocked, and- leaving. Leaving them. All his pain, all their pain, Lan wanted to scream at him. Couldn't he see how selfish he was being? "You insufferable a*****e." the words were scathing. "How dare you." Tear dotted her vision but she refused to let them fall. Rage was her mask, she'd use it all she could. "Don't you dare run away from us. Don't you dare leave us again."
Her bow was gone, vanished from her hands.
"Do you have any idea how- The emperor damn you Mengyao. We thought we'd lost you. Don't you dare leave us again."
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Posted: Mon Oct 08, 2012 7:02 pm
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He didn't want to listen to this. He didn't want to listen to anything. The voices in his head were subdued - for now - and his mind was blessedly empty of everything but his own thoughts, the clearest it had been for months, but that left too much room to remember everything that had occurred in the past several hours, everything that was now sinking into his memories like black tar.
What have I done?
Soft footsteps drew nearer, and Mengyao could see the small, slight figure of her approaching, but he drew away from her, eyes flashing as she knelt down, fingers gentle but firm against his.
"Stop," came the hissed reply, and there was a clatter as his precious fan dropped to the floor beside him, forgotten and spattered with scarlet blood. "Stop, don't - "
She was too close. Mengyao pushed her hands away and scrambled away, getting to his feet unsteadily and breathing heavily. His head felt as though someone had taken a mallet to it, a persistent ringing in his ears the lingering remnants of what had just taken place. He lifted a hand, pressing his fingers to his forehead, one hand outstretched towards Lifen, palm facing her, as though to keep her at bay, to keep her from moving closer.
No. This isn't happening. I -
There was a snap of fury from Lan. Mengyao's mismatched eyes moved towards her, saw the anger on her face, the frustration built upon sadness and bitterness, the odd brightness to her eyes.
"No," he whispered, and the word was hoarse, desperate, wanting nothing more than for everything to have just been a figment of his imagination, for everything that he had done to be just a dream, something easily erased and forgotten.
He could not forget.
"What I did," he said, and the hoarseness was still there. "What I became - no, no, don't, I don't - I can't - get away from me - "
He could not bear to look at them. His hands lifted, pressed against either side of his head, fingers curling into his hair, which was loose over his neck, his voice building into a yell that echoed down the deserted corridor.
"Stay away from me!"
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Posted: Mon Oct 08, 2012 8:03 pm
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"Meng--," was all she could say in response as he pulled away from her, hands leaning out to try and catch him as he pulled from her.
Lifen was too tired to stand up again, but this splintered response was weighing heavily on her over-exerted psyche - bright eyes watched as he scattered away from her, eyebrows pointed up in a slight hurt look. He never pulled away from her when she needed to tell himself. Pulling herself to a full sit, she leaned over to pick up the fan, holding in carefully in her hands.
"Please don't." She tried to plead to him as he talked to Lan, unable to muster up the words to say. Damn her inability to talk as smoothly as he could, or her father. She was horrid at this. Wincing at the yell, her arms shot up a bit in a defensive matter
It can happen to anyone!" She stated, looking down at the feathers in her hand, "It could even happen to me, in fact, I am suprised it has not - it affects us the most. . . you lose your everything Mengyao." She admitted, playing with the base of the fan. "I implore you, do not blame yourself, please." She asked meekly, lifting mis-matched eyes to look at him again, if she wasn't so tired, she would have walked over to him again. If anything, she was stubborn.
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Posted: Tue Oct 09, 2012 6:18 pm
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"DON'T SAY NO TO ME!" Her rage kept her other emotions in check, though it was just a mask, a mask cracking under fear, worry, and guilt. "You don't get to deny me on this, not as a noble, not as a friend." Lan didn't use her terms lightly. She didn't call him friend often. Their friendship was littered with insults, jabs, but caring. She cared about him in her own way, and had never been skilled in showing it. She'd never been allowed to show it.
Storming over, the tiny gold horsewoman didn't blink as she went to the taller horsemen, and bow summoned.... attempted to beat him with it. "How DARE you say this your fault. How DARE you deny Lifen. How DARE you act like you're the only one suffering! How. dare. YOU!" She stopped, grabbing him, pulling towards Lifen. "I don't care how much time we have. I refuse to let you wallow in pity. You're a noble. We do not deny our people. We don't turn from those who would embrace us. And damn you Mengyao we do not give up like this. I won't have you lost to us. I won't have you giving up like this!" The first of tiny hot tears.
"I refuse to lose you to what has taken so much from us already. No matter how long it is, I don't want to see you like this!" Because she couldn't handle seeing her friend suffering like this. She couldn't handle feeling helpless. Lan was cruel in many ways, but she'd never been heartless.
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iStoleYurVamps
iStoleYurVamps
Crew
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Posted: Tue Oct 09, 2012 9:40 pm
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Lifen hadn't moved from where she sat, still speaking quietly, but Lan made up for that, in both volume and physical determination. The bow she used to jab at him was wooden and heavy, and he gave a small, sharp gasp of surprise, attempting to shove the weapon away from him.
"Stop - "
Mengyao was not fast enough to move away before her fingers closed in the front of his robes, and despite the fact that he was several inches taller than her, and his clothing alone made him weigh a significant amount more, he was weak and injured, and she had caught him by surprise, dragging him forward towards where Lifen still sat knelt on the ground.
Lan's voice rang in his ears. Mengyao could not help but wince a little at the sound, his throat dry, his head still spinning, the pain building. For the first time in a very long time the calm, collected mask he was so careful to wear over his expressions had slipped, vanished into nothingness, and his emotions were plain on his pale face, his eyes wide with shock, with the horror of what had just transpired. He had fallen to his knees in front of them, Lan's fist still gripping the front of his robes, and he swayed slightly, making no move to push her away.
Her cheeks were wet. She was crying - Lan was crying.
Mengyao made a sound like an angry cat, half a yowl half a guttural gasp of pain, though it wasn't physical pain. His chest felt tight, like it was difficult to breathe properly.
This isn't -
- how could I have -
His hand lifted, reached up and greyed fingers closed around Lan's as he pulled hers away from his clothing. He pulled her down so that she was kneeling beside LIfen and then his arms were around the both of them, his face turned so that it was buried in Lifen's hair, his arms tight around the two of them as his body began to tremble violently.
"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.
"Please forgive me, I'm so sorry."
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Posted: Tue Oct 09, 2012 11:15 pm
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Seeing the little horsewoman sudden burst forward and snap at the other Noble made the little Artisan's eyebrows raise - she had never seen Lan this boisterous or aggitated about anything to this degree. It was almost commendable, but she was really worried that the woman would seriously harm him with the summoned bow, she leaned out lightly with her empty hand.
"Lan, Lan" She called to the little horse woman before Mengyao let out the sound, making her jump a little where she sat. Uncertain as to what she could do, she allowed the greying hand to wind around her, looking down to it, before she felt warm breath on her dark hair, words breathing out from him, evident pain in each word.
Lifting her head so she could just see his face through the forest of black hair on her head, she affixed her glance on him and lightly placed her pale hand on the hand that was gripping her so strongly, hoping to take some weight off his mind with the smallest of movements.
"Of course I forgive you." She said to him quietly, but meaning every word.
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iStoleYurVamps
iStoleYurVamps
Crew
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Posted: Wed Oct 10, 2012 3:12 pm
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They were tiny when placed next to him. Little horsewomen to a very tall horseman. Pulled down into an embrace, Lan wanted to hiss and spit at him, yell more, scream even. Undignified, she wanted to be able to help him, help Lifen, help all of them more than this. He was shaking as he held them. She cast Lifen a small helpless look. Lan didn't know how to comfort. She knew the notion of it, the idea behind it, but- she didn't know how to handle this. What code, what doctrine from her long life told her how to handle this?
Nothing.
Lifen could forgive Mengyao... and Lan could as well. She could... to a part. Her hand went to his shoulder, pushing him back, pushing away from them. Tears were slow to fall, but they still fell. "Do you wish to kill us Mengyao, do you truly wish to go to this home?" His answer would allow Lan to forgive or condemn. She wanted to forgive but unless she had his answer, she couldn't.
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