What are your thoughts about marriage?

[ChiffaniChan]

I feel like marriage is the ultimate way of say this is forever, so a lot of people are afraid of the commitment and the pressure. Marriage is a lot of different than dating, so the people who so not 100% serious about it don't want it.

Of course their are people that are not ready for it, or seen their parents so through a bad one and them their selves can't to it. The people who are not ready for it, and don't get marriage right away it's a good thing, because if you are sure about something like that than you shouldn't be doing.

Then of course a lot of our parents, teen moms, kids have gotten married and divorced young. So, that devalues what marriage is.

I am 26, and I am not getting married anytime soon, I am not ready for it. I do support people who want to, especially since a lot of my friends are married.  

[StrayKit]

getting married could be complicated for me later on depending on which way I go, but I would like to in the future anyways. nothing big and flashy, I don't need a huge cake and a fancy dress with a train behind me. just...something simple and nice  

[Ittarius]

I don't like it when people tell me that I'm going to get married. Like, it's not a 100% for sure thing. I only want to get married if I find someone that's like soul-mate level perfect for me, and then I will unreluctantly marry them.
I think that rushing into marriage is stupid, but I don't find the institution as a whole a waste of time. I think the problem with it is that people don't take it seriously.  

[asdfghipiiuui7777hgfd]

I feel that marriage is devalued now a days with the rate at which people get married and then divorced. Wedding also now seem to me more for show and who can spend the most which I find silly. Meaning that marriage now isn't really something to say I love you and will be with you forever anymore. Though I feel if you have been with a person that you just get along with and marriage feels like the natural next step and it will make you both happy then do it.

Myself though I am not sure if I would like to get married. Mainly because my my mother and some other family members have a bad record with marriages. though I always say if I had been with them long enough and it was right I would get married. it would be small though and I am hoping on the beach 4laugh .  

[wisp stalk]

I only think marriage is necessary when children are involved (because parental rights can get a little complicated without it) or if you reaaaaally want to file joint taxes. Saying marriage is "stupid" is a little offensive to people who don't have the option to, but I know my bf and I do fine living together with shared income and basically 'acting' married. It might be nice to call him my husband when we decide to have kids down the road. Right now I'm fine calling him my partner. We can't get married anyways, because he's separated from and married to someone else. rofl

As for the money factor for weddings, I'd rather spend our money on something else but I do love attending and thinking about big, fancy weddings. I'd want a small party with family and friends. No 'traditional' ceremony, just sign some papers and boopdeboop. What confuses me is whether or not I'd want to take his family name. I really don't know.  

[RyuShikyo Yagari]

Well the idea of marrying for love is a recent idea it used to be something like a business deal. That doesn't lower its value for me however. I see it as a bigger commitment than dating- that enough is obvious.
I feel as if a lot of divorces happen because the media feeds us the idea that "if he/she is the one it will work out no matter what" so when they have a hard time with their spouse they break it off. Truly it takes a load of work and people shouldn't rely on the media about the "facts" of love.
Anyway I don't find it stupid at all it's just that people have a warped view of it. It's beautiful when two people are truly ready for marriage.  

[Orphan Flower]

People are scary.
So are weddings.
And marriage.  

[Ramiele]

My husband and I were together for 10 years and planning a lovely wedding when we decided to elope back in November. He was having a bone marrow transplant (we went to the courthouse exactly one week before his transplant, the day before he went in for BMT prep) and we just thought, why not.

I hate when people are like "marriage is expensive and ends in divorce." because out all all the people I know, I only know maybe three couples who have divorced. And my wedding (now vow renewal/ceremony) will be grand and lovely, but it's not going to break our bank at all.  

[DyraBlack]

Well I just got married in September...

Now, if the concern of marriage is about the wedding then I think that's the wrong way to look at it. Technically you don't even have to observe a custom of a wedding to get married. Head on down to your City Hall, fill out the application, pay the fee, take the oath BOOM! Married.

Weddings are a beast of another nature. We only had ours because our families REALLY REALLY wanted one. So they paid for it, that was the deal we struck as my husband and I weren't really into the whole wedding thing.

Now if you want a giant wedding and it's something you've always dreamed about, I would urge you to save up for it and get everything you want. Please do not start your marriage in debt because of a fantasy. Heck, I know some people who get married, save for a couple years then host a giant wedding.

So now if you have an issue with marriage itself. I believe this is entirely a personal thing. For some people the idea of having the government tell them whether or not their relationship is valid really bothers them so they decide to opt out of the practice of marriage. Other people it's a distaste for religious or social norms...etc etc the list goes on why someone would not feel marriage is for them. All of the reasons are valid.

My husband and I decided that legal marriage was the most practical thing for us and it was a decision we made together. I know that doesn't sound very romantic but I'll explain. We had been best friends since we were 15, started dating in our early 20s, after being in a commited relationship for years we discussed and expressed that we felt that this is a forever thing. We were in it for the long haul. Eventually we decided we wanted to move (omg we're moving in a couple of months!!) but realized that if we wanted to make it official we should do it so that our families (who all live in the same City) could be included so we did the whole legal marriage/wedding sha-bang.

TL;DR

Marriage and Weddings are not the same thing. Getting married is a personal decision and both options (to get married or not) are valid and should be respected imho.  

[Kitalpha Hart]

I'm not interested in being partnered with someone, nor do I really see the point of a wedding, past a major expense to show off :/  

[Maddy-Mazey]

Clasela

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My partner and I are starting to talk about weddings. We don't want anything big, my aunty wants us to have it in her backyard (checking it out at Christmas~). I don't plan on using real flowers (fabric bouquets are much more sentimental), making the decorations myself and we'll probably just have a BBQ, homemade dessert table and ask our guests to contribute to the liquor table instead of gifts. Oh, god, my family sounds like a bunch of alcoholics... emotion_facepalm
Our honeymoon will be huge though. Matt's always had his heart set on Tahiti~
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OOOOH congrats! biggrin  

[Maddy-Mazey]

carrot et whip

I only think marriage is necessary when children are involved (because parental rights can get a little complicated without it) or if you reaaaaally want to file joint taxes. Saying marriage is "stupid" is a little offensive to people who don't have the option to, but I know my bf and I do fine living together with shared income and basically 'acting' married. It might be nice to call him my husband when we decide to have kids down the road. Right now I'm fine calling him my partner. We can't get married anyways, because he's separated from and married to someone else. rofl

As for the money factor for weddings, I'd rather spend our money on something else but I do love attending and thinking about big, fancy weddings. I'd want a small party with family and friends. No 'traditional' ceremony, just sign some papers and boopdeboop. What confuses me is whether or not I'd want to take his family name. I really don't know.

^ My opinion is very VERY much the same. Except I dont mind his last name, and we plan to get married only on paper this year sometime since we do plan on kids within the next year(2015). C: and my situation is different, but obviously XD Also, YOU GO GURL. c:  

[wisp stalk]

madelynheston

^ My opinion is very VERY much the same. Except I dont mind his last name, and we plan to get married only on paper this year sometime since we do plan on kids within the next year(2015). C: and my situation is different, but obviously XD Also, YOU GO GURL. c:

Hehe, no YOUUU go girl! ;D I wish you luck getting pregnant! The last name complication for me stems from wanting my children to also have my family name (I'm really the only person that can carry the name on) but both of our last names are too long to combine.  

[Maddy-Mazey]

carrot et whip

madelynheston

^ My opinion is very VERY much the same. Except I dont mind his last name, and we plan to get married only on paper this year sometime since we do plan on kids within the next year(2015). C: and my situation is different, but obviously XD Also, YOU GO GURL. c:

Hehe, no YOUUU go girl! ;D I wish you luck getting pregnant! The last name complication for me stems from wanting my children to also have my family name (I'm really the only person that can carry the name on) but both of our last names are too long to combine.

Why thank you! C: Awwh, my best friend had that same issue with her first child recently! She ended up letting his last name carry on, though. Its so awesome to think about women wanting their last names to carry on, though. MAKES ME FEEL EMPOWERED BY SUCH EMPOWERMENT.