I see that this is an old thread and that there are some conflicting things in here and I just wanted to put in some input:
Virginity is more than a "state of mind" it's only a societal construct. How you define virginity is completely up to you because it's not a real, concrete thing. Hymens do not break upon sexual intercourse. The hymen is a ring shaped membrane that can stretch and widen due to various things: horse back riding, bike riding, tampons, menstruation, foreplay, etc. If the hymen were "intact" in that it was never broken, you would be unable to have your period essentially, since the blood has to pass through the ring in the hymen to leave your body.
If you bled while being fingered, then either you have an extremely small hymen in which case some bleeding during sex might be expected, or--the more likely option--you were not properly prepared for the fingering. The v****a becomes loser and lubricated during foreplay and arousal, allowing for sex to be a pleasurable instead of a painful process. Due to a lack in education about female sexual organs in schools, society considers a woman's first time to always be painful and always include blood. This is and shouldn't always be the case (unless, like I said above, you have a particularly small ring in your hymen; women who do are likely to bleed a few times during sex).
A lot of what the other girls said about talking to your partner and trust is important, but from the physical side of things, virginity isn't real. It's a definition about sexual intercourse that was developed as a societal box for women to fit into. Lubrication and proper preparation will make sure you have a fun and comfortable first time rather than a bloody and painful one!
Virginity is more than a "state of mind" it's only a societal construct. How you define virginity is completely up to you because it's not a real, concrete thing. Hymens do not break upon sexual intercourse. The hymen is a ring shaped membrane that can stretch and widen due to various things: horse back riding, bike riding, tampons, menstruation, foreplay, etc. If the hymen were "intact" in that it was never broken, you would be unable to have your period essentially, since the blood has to pass through the ring in the hymen to leave your body.
If you bled while being fingered, then either you have an extremely small hymen in which case some bleeding during sex might be expected, or--the more likely option--you were not properly prepared for the fingering. The v****a becomes loser and lubricated during foreplay and arousal, allowing for sex to be a pleasurable instead of a painful process. Due to a lack in education about female sexual organs in schools, society considers a woman's first time to always be painful and always include blood. This is and shouldn't always be the case (unless, like I said above, you have a particularly small ring in your hymen; women who do are likely to bleed a few times during sex).
A lot of what the other girls said about talking to your partner and trust is important, but from the physical side of things, virginity isn't real. It's a definition about sexual intercourse that was developed as a societal box for women to fit into. Lubrication and proper preparation will make sure you have a fun and comfortable first time rather than a bloody and painful one!
