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 Posted: Sun May 10, 2015 7:36 pm
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Posted: Sun May 10, 2015 7:55 pm
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Posted: Mon May 11, 2015 9:54 am
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Hoshi Lockhart XxAriaxX Hoshi Lockhart Relationships scare me. I've been alone for most of my 28 years and have kind of a Sheldon Cooper attitude when it comes to company. Having people around isn't essential to my happiness. Being left alone is. I require a lot of me time and quiet. Just two hours of company is very draining. What's essential to your happiness?
Even if I distance myself from this, I'm an not satisfied in other areas of my life.
I'm often alone and I got sick of it. There are situations and activities that I don't mind to be alone, but there are some that I would like to have company. |
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Posted: Mon May 11, 2015 2:24 pm
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Posted: Mon May 11, 2015 9:19 pm
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Posted: Wed May 13, 2015 12:43 am
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At current I'm happy to be married to my husband.
Whether or not I'd be happier single or in a relationship is completely dependent on the person I am seeing. I'm happy with my husband because we share a lot of things in common, we get along, we like going out and doing the same things, we always have each other's best interest in mind, and we just plain enjoy each other's company. If I didn't have all of that, I'd obviously be happier being single, but that's not the case with him.
I think one thing many people don't realize is that you cannot become dependent on relationships for your own happiness. You can't expect another person to be the "fix" for that. Eventually it starts to show and becomes draining for the other person. They have to go the extra mile to make you happy because you cannot do it for yourself, and they start to lose their ability to make themselves happy if they're completely invested in you.
You have to be able to be satisfied with yourself and with more than one person. It can take a long time to do that; I'm still doing that myself, so I know it's not something that happens overnight, and honestly it can take years. I'm not a very social person but I still have many different kinds of relationships apart from my husband. He can't be the only one I have because that's too much to put on his shoulders. If anything were to ever happen to us and he was all I had, it would also be completely detrimental to my health if the one person in my life that made me happy was gone. It's not a situation you want to put yourself in.
Seeking a relationship is not bad, wanting someone's company, to have someone to share intimate (I don't mean sexual) moments with and to know someone out there has deep feelings for you is generally normal, many people want that and you're not at fault for it. It's just that a partner is not the only person you should look for. Branching out your scope of relationships will help, friends can be just as good if not better (dependent on the person) than a significant other and can even aid in finding the latter. |
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Posted: Tue Jun 02, 2015 12:39 pm
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Yokies At current I'm happy to be married to my husband.
Whether or not I'd be happier single or in a relationship is completely dependent on the person I am seeing. I'm happy with my husband because we share a lot of things in common, we get along, we like going out and doing the same things, we always have each other's best interest in mind, and we just plain enjoy each other's company. If I didn't have all of that, I'd obviously be happier being single, but that's not the case with him.
I think one thing many people don't realize is that you cannot become dependent on relationships for your own happiness. You can't expect another person to be the "fix" for that. Eventually it starts to show and becomes draining for the other person. They have to go the extra mile to make you happy because you cannot do it for yourself, and they start to lose their ability to make themselves happy if they're completely invested in you.
You have to be able to be satisfied with yourself and with more than one person. It can take a long time to do that; I'm still doing that myself, so I know it's not something that happens overnight, and honestly it can take years. I'm not a very social person but I still have many different kinds of relationships apart from my husband. He can't be the only one I have because that's too much to put on his shoulders. If anything were to ever happen to us and he was all I had, it would also be completely detrimental to my health if the one person in my life that made me happy was gone. It's not a situation you want to put yourself in.
Seeking a relationship is not bad, wanting someone's company, to have someone to share intimate (I don't mean sexual) moments with and to know someone out there has deep feelings for you is generally normal, many people want that and you're not at fault for it. It's just that a partner is not the only person you should look for. Branching out your scope of relationships will help, friends can be just as good if not better (dependent on the person) than a significant other and can even aid in finding the latter.
Because friends just don't have much time to give for me, I'm not their only friend, they have family, boyfriend, school, work...
I also thought I have to make new friends, and try to keep other friends close.
I'm not close to my family, it is not something it can be fixed, it is a long-story, but my cousins are not the people I can trust and build ''friendship''.
My life is not well balanced. When, I had 2 jobs, I was really busy, tired and grumpy because all I did was working, eat, sleep, rest and clean.
Now that I got laid off, I have a lot of free time and left alone, I had a moment of being insane all alone (when the past comes to hunt you, and I felt left out by my friends)... So, I did all the activities that brought up my mood (exercise, watch movies, read)... |
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Posted: Tue Jun 02, 2015 7:29 pm
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I understand it can be tough to keep up friendships with people. My main friendships are solely online, with a couple friends I see sporadically offline. In my situation that works for me, I don't need constant physical contact with others to feel good about my relationships with them. It's not the same for everyone though, so I know just because it works for me doesn't mean it'll work for them.
A lot of the friends I had kind of dropped off the face of the earth for me when we graduated from high school. I realized that really, a lot of the people I was friends with I was only close to because we were forced to be in the same classroom for hours on end with each other. We get a skewed perception of friendship that way. We spent so long with these same people throughout our lives that we suddenly feel like we're not good enough when none of them want to hang out anymore. That we're not worth it because they'd rather hang out with other people. The thing is, those people are more easily accessible in most cases. They might have more in common with them that they realize now that they're outside of school. And generally you can grow apart from someone no matter how close you used to be with them. It's not necessarily something wrong with you, circumstances and people change.
Family = Friends things has definitely not been a truth for me. Like you, I'm not close to my family. Truthfully, my extended family aren't actually bad people, we just don't have a lot in common and we don't have very many chances to talk. My immediate family are the awful people haha. So like.. even though I'm "forced" to be with them, like I was with those kids in school. it's different because they think they're allowed to do awful things to you because they're family. It's okay because you're blood related and it doesn't actually mean anything. It's why I don't hold family above (or even equal) to friends, because they just don't mean that much.
Having two jobs can definitely cut into your free time and make you irritable. You're constantly doing something and none of it is actually something you're necessarily.. "excited" to do. Sure you can not hate your job or think cleaning is okay, but doing it over and over and over again and that's ALL you're doing isn't fun. It's good that you did activities that raised your mood though. I know it's not the same as hanging out with another person, but as long as you can keep yourself busy (and not just with work), it's one way to to alleviate the feeling of being left out. |
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Posted: Wed Jun 03, 2015 8:00 am
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Posted: Fri Jun 05, 2015 5:46 pm
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Posted: Sat Jun 06, 2015 7:27 pm
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Posted: Sat Jun 06, 2015 8:21 pm
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XxAriaxX IrisIrene88 I prefer to be single x.x I only love friends and family members. I know what having a crush on someone feels like, but I don't believe I know what love is (when it comes to loving someone else x.x) One day, you'll discover. For me, it's sharing life. It's being together, support each other when times are difficult, there is also physical attraction, maybe building a family too.
Thanks for thinking so x.x I'm sure it will happen for you too someday. 3nodding
That sounds pretty nice and I have to say I agree with that. It is just tough to find a good guy for me it seems sweatdrop |
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Posted: Sun Jun 07, 2015 4:14 pm
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IrisIrene88 XxAriaxX IrisIrene88 I prefer to be single x.x I only love friends and family members. I know what having a crush on someone feels like, but I don't believe I know what love is (when it comes to loving someone else x.x) One day, you'll discover. For me, it's sharing life. It's being together, support each other when times are difficult, there is also physical attraction, maybe building a family too. Thanks for thinking so x.x I'm sure it will happen for you too someday. 3nodding That sounds pretty nice and I have to say I agree with that. It is just tough to find a good guy for me it seems sweatdrop
All my friends are girls XD ahahaha, they mostly have girls friends too.
Anyways, it happened that I was interested in some guys but they didn't ...
It was often one sided and I'm not going to force myself liking someone just because he likes me. |
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Posted: Thu Nov 05, 2015 5:34 pm
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Posted: Thu Oct 19, 2017 7:12 pm
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