Hiro Shin-Mozas vs [Brantley Summers]

[Vic Venom]

wahmbulance wahmbulance wahmbulance wahmbulance wahmbulance wahmbulance

The video review booth lights up as the referee's attention turns to the blaring red light on top of the booth. Getting in between the action as a yellow flag flies into the ring, signifying a break in the action the ref throws his hands up in two fists. The crew at ringside rushes over to the booth as the crowd lets out a collective groan. To some this may not seem like that big of a deal, but those people didn't realize that professional wrestling is cleaning up it's act, starting today. In hushed tones, the officials congregate, one of the leaning through the curtain to speak with Palmer Cannon as the momentum in the match grinds to a halt before it could even get started. Vaseline Man and Paul tend to Summer's reminding him that he's a body guy, understanding that Hiro had broken the code that governed morality and ethics in this great business. The titantron lights up, treating the fans to an extremely slow, zoomed in replay of the strike freezing on the point of contact as a scribbled yellow circle is seen around the fist of the challenger.

SCHAUB: Are yookidding me whip dish? Juss get don wihh it aready!!!

CALLEN: Uhhh... Brendon, I'm hearing that the strike is under review. If this stands, we might have our first penalty of the night. Let's go to our crew chief, Neil F. Sexton for a breakdown of what just happened...

BUUUUUUUUUUUUULLSHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT

BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUULLLSHIIIIIIIIIIIT

BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUULLLLLSHIIIIIT

 

[Definitely not Stone]

Sexton appears picture in picture over the replay of Hiro's punch. Slicked back hair, living for the night, lawyer, officiating, sloppy steaks at Truffoni's with the Dangerous Nights Crew, yeah Sexton used to be a real piece of s**t, and now the crowd had to stomach his insertion into the match.

"You see here we have a textbook example of a fully enclosed fist from the challenger-

The video zooms onto Hiro's fist to show there was no gap between his palm and fingers. There was no getting around this one. You would think after Saint Joey's incident they would've cracked down on this sooner. I mean there had to be some brain damage there. It was about time wrestling was looking into taking care of the workers.

Riiiiight there. We here at the WWFG are committed to the well-being of our independent contractors and these type of heinous, malicious plays have no place in our sport. The preservation of our athletes is the imperative with our new video assistance set up. So I'm told what we're going to do now is reset the action here with Summers on top, and we're going to go ahead and mark up that foul for Hiro.

Slow-mo replay begins to keep showing the scene of the punch to Summers during Neil's explanation of the events. The surrounding Marauders and the champ, having lifted himself up at this point, began applauding the call. The referee begins to explain to the Ethnic Enigma that he'll have to watch out for those types of dirty shots and come to the center of the ring assuming the traditional start position. Though empathetic to the struggle Hiro was facing, bulbous Robinson had a family to raise and couldn't lose his job to help the Cuban-Japanese wrestler.

These are the growing pains of safety but in the long run, this will lead to a better, longer lasting run for all those involved."

Summers gets a couple quick pointers from Paul on some starting hooks to get him a leg up on the challenger and walks over to the center of the ring, waiting for Hiro to come get set in all fours to get the match back underway. The crowd was prepared for a match that would blow the house down but was instead receiving a convoluted mess to screw their hero out of a glorious Wrestlemania return by the Marauders.  

[HiroShinMozas]

Hiro did his best to follow along, rolling his eyes at the idea that throwing ONE closed fist punch could result in a full on stopping of the match and a tongue lashing from the ref who, to his credit, was in fact just doing his job. Brantley Summers sure was back alright, as skilled a wrestler as he was, he was even more so a con-man. This bullshit was not just making a mockery of both of their returns, but also making a mockery of Wrestlemania -- something that Hiro had done in the past and spent a lot of time atoning for when it came to showing respect to this fine event. The referee finally explained to Hiro that he needed to get down on the ground in front of BS as if this were an amateur wrestling match, and allow him to get greco roman on his a**. What a fall from grace this was turning out to be -- by the end of this match Wade Keller was going to be writing about how Hiro "wasn't the hero we need right now" and how he should just fade back into retirement.

Stepping past the ref, Hiro would get down on the ground in front of Brantley, preparing himself to be strictly on defense in quite the embarrassing position. The patience of the multi-time Wrestlemania main eventer was running thin, as at this point we was almost willing to ditch his own morals so he could actually have a match instead of...whatever this was.  

[Definitely not Stone]

As Hiro assumed the position, Summers bouncing back and forth behind him. He was in his element here at Wrestlemania. The former sub-.500 amateur high school wrestler was ready to show his skills in the traditional style. Dropping to both knees, with a smirk that his mother hated, Summers would fiercely wrap his middle, index finger, and thumb just above the elbow on the arm of Víctor Quiñones's and Gorilla Monsoon's illegitimate son and grandson respectfully. BS would slide his right leg behind Hiro at a tangent and rest his head in between his shoulder blades. Lastly, the CEO would implement an old school shooter's trick. Wrapping his arm around Hiro's waist so his hand was on the stomach, Summers would look to press his middle finger on the navel of Hiro to continue the mind games.

"Shoot the halffuh!" shouts Paul. "Errr.. ankle control..." he trails off towards the end but still murmuring. Should everything go as planned so far, Summers would look to break down the arm he already had a grasp of with a quick, but forceful chop into the elbow. The hope was to push the Ethnic Enigma's arm to his body where the astute technician could take wrist control.  

[HiroShinMozas]

Brantley mounted Hiro like a ******** dog and he wasn't happy about it. The Marauder's grip would strengthen until he got to his damn navel. It was now getting INCREDIBLY uncomfortable, and Hiro's aforementioned patience had ran out. Before BS was able to entirely constrict Hiro in position, Hiro would jerk his body up, attempting to lift BS off the mat and hold him up on his back. Hiro's arms would wobble for a second but he'd then try to four-leg rush his way across the mat with Brantley holding on and send both men flying through the second and first ropes and down to the ground below in a total shift of the overall pace of the match AND in straight defiance of the previously set rules! What the hell was going on?! HOW CAN YOU NOT FOLLOW THE SET RULES OF THE PAW CRIMSON KING CHAMPIONSHIP!? This was horseshit, and everyone knew it, and yet for some reason the fans still exploded at this act of defiance from their hero.  

[Definitely not Stone]

Antonio Brown had joined Vaseline Man at ringside discussing the validity of the Deshaun Watson case. Mark Laundre mentions hearing Sexton say it has to be bullshit. The Voros twins are filming hit TikToks at the nearby AVN event but they're on Facetime with Joseph from down the block's grandmother. They had naturally clustered up like quail. Not like what you see from the other guys, holding hands to get in position, sitting there staring at a wrestler gaining the confidence to do a big trapeze act. None of that. Just some guys shootin' the s**t on the sideline. This was sports. A fight. Men settling the score the old fashioned way.

Big Baller Brand representative Summers was taken for a ride by Hiro with his finger stuck in the belly button of the backyard outlaw wrestler. Taken off guard again by his opponent, Hiro might've once again bent the rules with an early start before the official set. The duo go flying out the ring to the outside. Typical mud show bullshit from Hiro. Taking the match outside the ring in the first five minutes, no psychology or story building.

Antonio Brown's connection with his kindred spirit Summers shows as he disperses the group leaving only Joseph from down the block's grandmother to catch the tumbling stars of the ring. The combined close to 500 pounds comes crashing down of the fragile woman who initially screams out in pain. Very quickly she can only push out groans to communicate. Hiro had just Draze'd this woman, ending her career before it could even get going. Summers rolls off to the side holding his back. Vaseline Man runs over to put Icy Hot on the lower back of his boss. Medical staff slowly start their way down with a gurney for Joseph from down the block's grandmother. They're on the other side of the building though, not expecting to be needed in a battle featuring the safest worker in the business. Things were not looking good for the decrepit hag.

The network sees the crowd's reaction and try to get a quick cheer to combat the fear for Joseph from down the block's grandmother who lied motionless on the hard floor outside the ring. Tito Ortiz walks halfway down the ramp wearing the freshest new Reebok sweatpants and a black, sleeveless Tapout shirt. He had to have cut the sleeves off himself, they don't just make the shirts like that. Visionary. Tito has his arms crossed and shoulders raised as he stares disapprovingly at Hiro for his actions to the poor elderly woman. No pop.  

[Vic Venom]

CALLEN: Oh my god... Oh my god... That poor woman just got laid out, this is not good Brendan. Not good at all. They're going to have to take her to the hos-...To the uh... Local medical facility and have this looked out. MAN.. This is NOT looking good..

BRENDAN: Tall s**t get hit, thass what dime say, Brine. And lookit... Da Paul Beach Hard Throb?!! TIdo Orteez?!! I can't believe it Brine!!

The medics rush the old one up the stage. Someone with no medical degree, or intelligence, just googling injuries that sounded dangerous and cool, might assume that she had some for of spinal stenosis. Meanwhile in the production truck, Kevin Dunn is having a full blown meltdown his head in his hands crying, screeching to the frantic assistants-- "Tsuh.. Tsuh... Hold the shot on Tito!! Hold the shot on Tito!!"

Tito just stands there as ominous, ambient synth music plays in the background and Paul Summers douses some kind of electrolyte based compound fluid into the mouth of Summers, rubbing his shoulders patting him on the a** in encouragement trying to help drag him up to his feet as the ref was distracted by the horrible tragedy at hand.. Looking back and forth over both of his shoulders, he reaches into his track jacket, slipping a loaded glove onto his fighters hand.

"Come on champ! Come on champ! You got this!!"

 

[HiroShinMozas]

Hiro was sprawled out on the ground while chaos ensued, braking the rules a bit to cause a scene. It hadn't even registered with him that these people were at ringside, mostly because he was so engrossed in the fact that he had to wrestle this convoluted match. An elderly woman had been taken out of here on a damn stretcher, an MMA legend had appeared to steal all possible thunder because it's what the MAN wanted, and there was a sound of the Da Vinki's screaming somewhere that Hiro was for sure picking up on -- but he couldn't see the paintbrushes. Hiro would lock eyes with a man in the front row, if only for a brief moment -- they were snacking on a cheesy gordita crunch, with the season dust from a large nacho fries adorning their face like contour not fully applied. It was fat CJ, from Grand Theft Auto San Andreas. His presence disappointed Hiro, knowing that he'd more than likely already had two number 9s, a number 9 large, a number 6 with extra dip, a number 7, two number 45s, one with cheese, and a large soda before he'd even gotten to the Taco Bell he was enjoying now. It was a shame, because CJ was once a well respected gang-banger who was doing it all for the Grove and his moms, even stopping corrupt cops and running out ballas simply to give Los Santos a better image and perhaps put the bad times behind him. Now, he was just fat.

Hiro started to get up, but felt a pain in his knee as he did so, clearly feeling the effects of practically s**t-canning himself to ringside with only an old lady to shield his fall. The fans were completely unsure how to react, but when the Ethnic Enigma found it in him to get up before his opponent, they were able to at least react somewhat raucously to the fact that he was able to take some bumps. It just wasn't for that long that he'd be standing, as he'd slip up on Vaseline and stagger his way right into the video assistance booth, hitting into it's side face first and knocking it clean over, it landing with a loud thud which was followed by the hissing and crackling of internal machinery probably being hurt. There was smoke that started to arise from the machine, causing the commentary duo of King and JR, as well as Callen and Schaub, to leap over the barricade and hide behind fat CJ from GTA San Andreas as to have cover from a potential explosion. Hiro rolled away from the machine, not to hurt or anything but definitely with a pain radiating from his face. He sat up against the announcers table and could only look around at the absolute chaos and insanity around him, feeling both completely at home and also so, so regretful.  

[Definitely not Stone]

The loaded glove was a signature tactic employed from the Marauders days. Noted mostly for his technical battles against Kelly King and Landry, Summers always had a lot of fist based finishing maneuvers. You only get one loaded glove spot. This was a nostalgia match and Summers had to play the classics. Sure this could be his moment to get an easy cut to the head of Shin-Mozas, but Summers had gotten word from Paul, you heard from Palmer, that the buy rates were spiking with the match underway and he had to roll out the hits. Suddenly, the Marauder contingent see their state of the art replay booth turned over and smoking with Palmer Cannon trapped underneath. The leader of the entertainment and media conglomerate sends everyone but Paul and Vaseline Man over to figure the situation out, knowing they needed to fix the center immediately or their investment would be flying out the window.

Summers would stalk his way towards Hiro, moving to avoid potential spills of Vaseline or any of the grease spilling out of CJ's pores. Maintaining about six feet of distance, the dollar store Road Warrior looked to take advantage of the chaos distracting the referee to drop to a knee and hit the most devastating move in his arsenal. The loaded glove would magnify this already Earth shattering finisher. Got him from the no name indies like NBWA, ICW, GWWF, and EEW Speed to the big leagues, like EEW Main Roster, WWE:E, and WWFG. Summers let out a roar, hoping the gigachad animal magnetism he exuded would draw Hiro's inner fighting spirit in and lead him straight into the raised, glove adorned fist of the champ for the LIONCOCK. Paul knew what was coming, shaking his head and complaining that the move was the 'wrong kind of outlaw' and that it needed to be 'thrown back into the mudshow pig pen he got it out of'.  

[HiroShinMozas]

Brantley Summers and Hiro Shin-Mozas, the Main Event of Wrestlemania 2016

The paramedic's blank expression and cold voice were the perfect cover behind the unnecessary layers of protection already added to hide his identity. The arena was silent and in shock that the champion, the Shah, a man they so despised was having to get carted off in a serious medical emergency. They hated the man, but the fans still had compassion, they knew the man was in pain. The doctor could feel the emotion in the crowd and from Hiro Shin-Mozas. It was overwhelming. The doctor was almost to the point where tears were strolling down his face as well. Riveting.

Rolling The Shah onto the gurney, the doctor gave a glance to the turned away Hiro. Shaking his head, the doctor thought two things at that very moment, "Once a Jew, always a Jew." and the more recognizable, "Never turn your back on a Jew." With that, the doctor tore off his face mask, hat and dark glasses to reveal the one and only, the Midnight Marauder, Brantley Summers after a year hiatus! The crowd let out a thunderous roar of boos as Summers went to grab Hiro and throw him into the ropes. Should everything go accordingly, Summers would drop to one knee and on the rebound, Summers would look to deliver the most DEVASTATING, DISASTROUS, DIABOLICAL move on sports entertainment, the LIONCOCK.

The booing began and it became apparent to Hiro. He knew that this was still a match, it hadn't stopped. The God of Will may have been extremely emotional, but he wasn't dumb. He was preparing to turn, assuming Bad Boy was going to be coming after him while not caring a single bit about Freakshow's state of affairs. However, before Hiro could turn fully around, he was grabbed and ran forward, running into the ropes and turning to be met with the shock of his life. That wasn't Bad Boy, it wasn't even Freakshow. It was a man no one had seen in quite some time. It was -THE- Midnight Marauder, The Master of Coffee Disasters, Mr.Lioncock...Brantley Summers. Hiro could do nothing but run into Summers and have a fist driven into his groin, sucking the life out of the booing crowd and completely out of Hiro. The Cuban-Jap turned pale as he dropped to the ground with hands on his groin, his eyes shut tightly laying before Brantley who was given an opportunity to absorb the hate from the crowd who didn't want to see him return in such a way.

This wasn't the first time. The fans prayed it would be the last. Everything was in place, the loaded glove, the chaos, the positioning -- Brantley Summers was hot-shotting the ******** finish because what else could you do when this 45-minute epic was just thrown to the wayside by one disgruntled has-been that should have stayed a never-was? Hiro would slowly get up with the use of the announce table, and unbeknownst to him, he would turn back to the ring and suddenly eat the LIONCOCK. A feeling that sent him all the way back to 2016, Hiro would freeze in place with his balls directly on the knuckles of the Marauder. There would be no Ryuu Sakamoto to do a run in tonight. Bad Boy was off on an island and couldn't be bothered to break up a pin. Freakshow was dead and Russo was in handcuffs, and the fans had a combined gasp lead into a heatwave of booing, bad breath, and hot as ******** exhales. Brantley Summers gave the fans what they wanted, serious action.  

[Vic Venom]

"Palmer! Palmer! We're coming for you buddy!!"

The head stagehand cries out, crew sifting through the wreckage of the overturned video review booth, even through the warped metal one could hear the pained cries of Palmer Cannon. Michael Tarver fights his way through the heap of bodies, using the strength that a mother has when her child is endangered to easily get up under the booth, singlehandedly lifting it up hauling it off of the ground allowing the paramedics finally to get to the network executive. He was in rough shape, laying on the ground with one of his legs bent behind him in an L, half of his face seriously burned. Producing the second stretcher of the night in only a few minutes, the medical professionals scrape Cannon onto the board strapping him in as a single tear falls from his eye. With Tarver right by his side, grabbing his shoulder firmly, the severely wounded man watches the scene unfold as he's hauled out of the arena cursing under his breath.

"Damn... You... Hiro Shin-Mozas... Damn you to hell..."

 

[Definitely not Stone]

Some say Summers always had the same match. Throw up at ringside, smirk, headlock takeover, head scissors, kick out, criss cross LIONCOCK, collect paycheck. The Zack Ryder of G-Fed was a calculating showman however, doing the minimum for most reaction. He wasn't there to appease Staff Member Meltzer's readers, there weren't going to be cravates, rolling elbows, and 630 sentons. The match was going to be at Summers's pace. With Hiro's jewels placed squarely on his fist, Joe Hogan was in the driver's seat while being able to flex his medicinally enhanced biceps. He'd drop the glove, lightly tossing it right under the apron and out of sight from the referee who was still stumbling around to figure out how to regain control of the match and instill order. Antonio Brown goes back to his seat beside CJ as the referee looks like a man on a mission, fat, calling out to see if the network representative was going to fix the machine's problem. Tito Ortiz walks down to the toppled over booth as the rag tag group of Marauders are attempting to rectify the situation. Ortiz folds his arms up and raises his shoulders again while staring at them, not saying a word or offering any help.

Brantley had blown his easiest opportunity to bust the veteran open, but knowing Hiro had been in many bloody battles, he thought he'd pop him open like a lost Diaz brother. Similar promo style. Same backstage issues too. Hiro Diaz-Sapp, the ultimate Mexican-Japanese fighter. Trying to capitalize on this position, Summers looked to roll Hiro into the ring to get a real sporting affair started and get the referee to check Hiro's groin for possible internal bleeding.  

[HiroShinMozas]

Hiro would collapse to the ground, huffing up a storm and as he tried to cover his fellas. The LIONCOCK, which he'd employed in the past himself, was at it's strongest when in the hands of the innovator, much like the DDT. This was leveled up thanks to the loaded glove, and with all the chaos, Summers was in position to just walk his way right to victory. He lifted up the Ethnic Enigma slightly and helped him over to the canvas, lifting him up and rolling him into the ring. BS then DEMANDED the ref look in his tights to check for bleeding, and with his fat sausage like fingers the Red Robinson (yummmm) would eagerly reach into Hiro's pants, feeling around for any sort of wetness. Seemingly disappointed, the morbidly obese ref would reveal his finger to be completely dry, not a bit of blood or piss or anything else to be found. There would be no pinfall attempt just yet as Hiro lay sprawled out on the canvas, still in a considerable amount of pain.  

[Definitely not Stone]

"DAMMIT!" Summers yells out in frustration while sweeping his foot across the mat like a petulant child. His eyes were bulging out like Tony Khan's after a Pay Per View. Perhaps his thyroids were acting up, perhaps he was making deals before the match. One thing was certain though, and that was Palmer getting stretchered off in the background while the gluttonous official was licking his stubs after digging his hand into Hiro's pants on the hard camera. The announce team makes their way back to the table to continue to call the match, rustling the headsets from the entangled mess they became after the rush from the table. One move no being all it took to put the false deity away was enough to force trepidation onto the face of the champ. Still thoroughly in control, he still couldn't help but wonder what lengths he would have to go to put Hiro down. It'd be almost a decade since his last match, could he still do it?

CALLEN: I just don't get this Mexican guy Brendan. He's called himself a God and uh heh uh, I can tell you.. as someone that has read John 3:16.. heh uh he is not HIM. There's no historical evidence to suggest that he's God, there's no records, now I may be the one who does stand up but that's.. heh heh yeah that's a little funny to me.

SCHAUB: Yerr ride or die Brine, this messigan is the same typuh gaya to go back to Goowaddalarrajuh.. illegally.. and bang my wife. Tyguh told me she did after he was taygen her thirst traps. Put a little salsa on this match already.

Peak insight for the viewers at home about the competitors. Tito Ortiz glimpses up to see the look of frustration on Summers's face. Just like as a coach for the Ultimate Fighter, Ortiz gives an inspirational message to the champ, "He's a ********' punk dude!" Just like that, BS found the strength to continue on. To the roar of the thousands of BSers in SoFi and the millions of them watching at home, Brantley walked over to Hiro aiming to drop a knee right onto the near neutered veteran's collarbone.  

[HiroShinMozas]

It's incredible the amount of life behind the posts that Definitely not Stone was making in this match, you'd believe he'd have never left and was instead working every possible angle on this website everyday to keep his skills as sharp as possible. It was honestly impressive, as was the knee he drove into Hiro's collarbone, causing the former world champ to leap off the mat for a moment and on to his side, in even more pain now than he had been. Oh yeah, we were back at it baby, Hiro was being worked over and in pain while his opponent had to deal with a serious cacophony of booing. This was nothing new, but boy was it a classic -- the fans weren't happy to see Hiro worked over but were super happy to see him at all, so there were some conflicted feelings. The question remaining at this point was: now that the action finally started up, would it actually continue or be derailed by even more silliness?