GIANT CAN O SPAM

[Sailor_Aelia_Moon]

ninja  

[`emily]

heart  

[gginger]

ninja  

[oushoku]

domokun  

[Chronoshift]

3nodding 3nodding 3nodding 3nodding 3nodding  

[Zphal]

whee  

[Queen Rasana]

blaugh  

[Radiant Racheal]

mrgreen Spam!  

[Xerza]

bump  

[Xerza]

"Blarg," said the space monster with the overly large mole stationed atop his left nostril.  

[Xerza]

"Blarg" refers to many things.
"Blarg" could explain life as we know it,
but what do we know?
"Blarg" is also a mutated form of "Arggh"
And thus, the alien could be a pirate, and it would mean nothing at all.
"Blarg" also means "I have a can of tuna in my front pocket, and whoever finds the first robin of spring gets it."
But in this case, I would suspect the alien is a pirate.  

[Xerza]

If, however, by any chance this particular member not of Earth says "Blarg" and has a cat-like weakness to water,
then in this case, "Blarg" means "Destroy Earth and Enslave All Humans." give or take some grunting.
Who can know with these spaceage aliens from beyond?  

[Xerza]

"Aargh." said the captain of a well-to-do spaceship, which as it happened was orbiting Byutania, the drive-in movie planet.  

[Xerza]

Why would a captain of a well-to-do spaceship say "Aargh" you say?
It seems it could be a mystery, because this particular space captain is slightly reptilian, and can't show his emotions. His voice came through the voice-simulator, and thus gave no emotion. He has no vocal cords anymore, not since the war.
But though it could be a mystery, it isn't.
Because I know why he says "Aargh"
And he says this, not because he is well-to-do or because he is a spaceship captain, he says this because as well as those other things, he is also a merchant. And his merchandise was water-damaged.
Who would buy movies that were water-damaged? Who would buy a holoprogram, an H-gram, now that it was water damaged?
Sure, the titanium product would be fine.
But the cardboard package it was in was ruined, thus no person in his right mind would dare buy it.
This "Aargh" is of frustration.  

[Xerza]

Normally, he would take this frustration out on his crew, but the incoming transmission stopped him.
"Ayaskans were seen in your general area. If you do not evacuate immeidiatly, you will probably be eaten alive, or you will burn to death from their hideous acid spittle. Either way you die, so if you would calmly evacuate. Have a nice day!"
I wonder if you noticed the similarity in the words "Ayaskans" and "Alaskans"?
Well there is a reason for that.
In the year 2238, the USA decided to test their new "Happy Pill" on a part of the population. As we all know, this was because they were Communists. The "Happy Pill" was supposed to drive out all anger and unhappiness out of the human system, but backfired in a hideous way.
The humans mutated, the only emotions felt by them were animosity, hatred, and blind rage. They turned the color of milk, their irises became a shade of burgundy never seen in nature, their pupils became cat-like.
All of their hair fell out; their skin became tough and reptile-like.
What an interesting thing a tiny pill can do to a human body.
You might be thinking, "Well the captain is reptilian, is he one of them?"
Not exactly. Unlike the Ayaskans, he was the only one in all of the tests to look like them, and yet his mind remained unaltered. Of course, this means he is an outcast in both species, Ayaskans and Humans.