What is better? Going for looks or going for personality?

[Wendy Belle]

NO cake for candy

Wendy, I believe that you have found what all of us are looking for!!! heart

Thanks, Candy, I know I've found what I was looking for.
Twenty-six years ago, when I was trying to decide if I should go out with him or not, (we had been non-romantic friends for some time but I was aware that he felt more than friendship for me) my sister said, "This is a man who will love you absolutely, the kind of love every woman is looking for. How happy are you willing to be?"
As it turns out, I'm willing to be pretty darned happy!  

[Taxi Mama]

Angel Of Sol

Taxi Mama

The most amazing thing about love... The person you love becomes beautiful to you! I am 40 pounds overweight, wear tank tops & men's shorts all the time, no makeup, with frizzy hair besides. And yet, my husband calls me Sexy, Gorgeous, Beautiful, etc... and I catch him staring at me googly eyed a couple of times a week, so I don't think he's fibbing. As I said, amazing!

Ok, I have to ask (because he sounds wonderful, tie him up) does he have a single brother??? 4laugh rofl

Sorry, no! In fact, his brother is a married alcoholic with 3 messed up kids. I swear, it's just luck, not genetics or raising! But Wendy seems to be onto the same wonderful truth I've found, eh?
 

[Wendy Belle]

Taxi Mama

Angel Of Sol

Taxi Mama

The most amazing thing about love... The person you love becomes beautiful to you! I am 40 pounds overweight, wear tank tops & men's shorts all the time, no makeup, with frizzy hair besides. And yet, my husband calls me Sexy, Gorgeous, Beautiful, etc... and I catch him staring at me googly eyed a couple of times a week, so I don't think he's fibbing. As I said, amazing!

Ok, I have to ask (because he sounds wonderful, tie him up) does he have a single brother??? 4laugh rofl

Sorry, no! In fact, his brother is a married alcoholic with 3 messed up kids. I swear, it's just luck, not genetics or raising! But Wendy seems to be onto the same wonderful truth I've found, eh?

Absolutely! And it just keeps getting better!  

[TamlinSan]

I think it depends. If you want to marry them, I'd say personality is more important, but if you just want to go hang out and have a good time, I'd say looks.

I know, not the PC thing to say, but I'm not in the mood to marry anyone until I've got my life in order, so I might as well look at the eye candy. biggrin  

[Lady_Niqui]

I've gotta say that both are important to me lol. He doesnt have to be omgBRADPITTsecksi but I can't honestly say that I'd give anyone I considered troll ugly a chance. That may sound bad but whatever. When I first met my husband, I was pretty neutral in my opinion. He seemed like an okay looking guy with really cute big ears to me lol. But as I got to know him, he became more attractive because he was confident, friendly, intelligent, and he has a good sense of humor. Now after 3 years of marriage, I look at him and no one really compares. Sure, theres a ton of beautiful men in the world but to me he always has something they dont.  

[Etoile de la Mer]

I'm stubborn. I'll wait for both.

Looks attract me, but personality keeps me in the relationship. If the person isn't good looking, I won't even bother. I'll walk away.

The only thing is...I don't see a lot of unattractive people. If they are sickly, that repulses me. I also have a personal preference for tall, slender partners. While I have seen some really beautiful people who aren't slender, they just don't give me that tingle. That's okay, I also don't particularly get turned on by blonds either.

I also want a good personality.

Why is there a belief that you can only have one or the other? It's almost as distrubing as the belief that good looking people are stupid. As a good looking and also an overeducated professor, I hate people thinking I'm stupid and bland because I look good. Probably just as much as overwight people dislike the stereotype of being lazy.

I sometimes think thin people should jump on the bandwagon with the overweight people to protest society's stupid conclusions.  

[Elder Chery Whine]

Unfortunately, I am about to resign myself to a life
alone as, even though I went for personality,
personality can fade faster than looks. sad
Even those who's families played them up
ended up disapointing their families as well...
I have no luck with love..........  

[astral burst]

Clearly it's personality that's superior to physical beauty. If you can connect romantically with a person on the deepest level, you look passed what's on the surface.  

[Twerp]

I held out for both heart
Honestly though, if he wasn't who he is, it never would have worked out so well.
So personality #1!  

[Harbone]

You know, I think one of the reasons that mostly women have posted here is that most men can't SEE inner beauty. I mean, sure, we'd like someone to get along with - but I can't tell if someone is lovely on the inside or not, often I have no idea even after knowing them for years.

Quite a few of my friends have just awful personalities, as a matter of fact. And one or two of my ex-girlfriends have been quite ugly inside as well, that's in addition to being somewhat plain on the outside, too (or so I am given to understand.)

Of course, my first thought on this post was: "You get to choose?"
I've never really been a chick magnet, so it's not like I can sort through the possibilities. When I was younger it was really bad. I just pretty much grabbed at the first girl to show an interest, whether or not she was ugly inside and out... and often she was.

Now that I'm older, I find that most conventionally pretty women irritate me... and they're kinda expensive. Unfortunately, I've always projected the image of "money," even though I'm dirt poor, so guess who I've got to deal with most of the time? Yes. The irritating ones. Urgh!

So does that mean I prefer personality over looks? I guess. But it's not like I've run into much good on either front.

And, like I said: who can really tell what someone's like inside? I can't!  

[mizducky]

hahaha I like this topic.

For a long term relationship then you must want to talk to the person!! An older man once said to me, when you are married for a while you might not have sex with your spouse, but you will always have to speak to them.

But as someone who is still single and occasionally dating, to start a relationship, you have to want to go up and talk to that person in the first place (attraction).
If you don't want to go get that person's clothes off, then it's likely that you'll end up just friends. So the person who I am more likely to date is the one that I want to get naked.

Now, I'm not dismissing personality, intelligence, humor, or behavior. But, attraction shouldn't be dismissed either when starting a relationship.  

[Veddhartha]

Of course the personality and how you interact with outside world. Looks are still part of it and it's stone hard fact that person with good looks or at least nice can get more things done. Bad personality and good looks won't help long...

I wish outlooks to support personality, to tell more about the person. Not in the way that shouts, but talks quietly or whispers. It seems strange if person is something different by nature and demeanor than what s/he shows outside by dressing, hair, etc. As odd is to underline some trait or style so that personality and sparks disappear inside of that message shouted with coverings. Most obvious example of this is these new age fashion-goths.

mizducky said it well. Attraction is important. There has to be something physical that attracts on other person. No matter what it is, that's a hook.

And the charisma. Not just looks, not personality, but how you carry yourself and take good use (knowingly or not) of presenting yourself.  

[Taxi Mama]

PHYSICAL LAYER
People are like onions (or parfait); they have layers. Physical appearance is the outermost layer, which is the thinnest and least significant. I wouldn't be comfortable dating anyone more than ten years older, five years younger, 8 inches taller, or 100 pounds heavier. But I could be friends, if their personality was good. By the way, the shortest man I ever dated was 5'2" and 95 pounds; and it was COOL being able to talk while dancing.

PERSONALITY LAYERS
How a person acts in public is the first hint of who they are. Watch how they interact with traffic, waitstaff, and strangers. Listen to how they treat their family, neighbors, and colleagues, to discover the more significant inner layers. Finally, find out what decisions they are proud of or regret, and see how they live out their values. That's how you know who this person REALLY is, and how they'd be to live with forever.

TRAITS I LOOK FOR
I am drawn to high-energy, positive attitude, sense of humor, intelligence, and humble confidence. I'm repelled by cruelty, condescension, self destructive habits, and willful ignorance. What won me over completely? Responsible, respectful, considerate, self-supporting, nurturing, Democratic, and thinks I'm sexy. With all that going for him, it's easy to negotiate our differences over music, religion, pets, and child rearing
smile !  

[Esprz]

inner beauty is always the best  

[Lycangoddess]

Etoile de la Mer

I'm stubborn. I'll wait for both.

Looks attract me, but personality keeps me in the relationship. If the person isn't good looking, I won't even bother. I'll walk away.

The only thing is...I don't see a lot of unattractive people. If they are sickly, that repulses me. I also have a personal preference for tall, slender partners. While I have seen some really beautiful people who aren't slender, they just don't give me that tingle. That's okay, I also don't particularly get turned on by blonds either.

I also want a good personality.

Why is there a belief that you can only have one or the other? It's almost as distrubing as the belief that good looking people are stupid. As a good looking and also an overeducated professor, I hate people thinking I'm stupid and bland because I look good. Probably just as much as overwight people dislike the stereotype of being lazy.

I sometimes think thin people should jump on the bandwagon with the overweight people to protest society's stupid conclusions.

It's not necessarily that good looking people are stupid. Stupid is as stupid does, no matter what you look like.

The problem is that there are a lot of people (ladies, some of us do this too) that know they are attractive and use their looks to play with who they hook up with. I have dated a couple really gorgeous guys who were so into themselves they ended up treating the relationship like crap, and me worse.

Give me someone with pudge, a beer in one hand and an xbox controller in the other and I'll be happy.