16-year-old virgin...people make me feel like it's bad

[Art Greylace]

It's fine. You should have sex when you're comfortable with it.

If you're comfortable with doing it with a guy you don't know very well, power to you.

If you want to wait 'till you're forty, also power to you!

The right time is whenever you decide you want it. And use protection, duh.

On the other hand, marriage is a bad line to draw. 'Cause marriages in most developed countries aren't final- and that's a good thing, because it means that if you end up with someone abusive or in some other way horrible you can ditch them, even if you've tied the knot.... But what it also means is that it's only the commitment you make it. And a guy who's only doing it because that's the only way to have sex with you isn't likely to take that bond seriously. Besides, people have tastes in bed. It may be a good idea to experiment, just a bit, before you settle. But hey, that's just me and my fear of religion talking.

By the bye: I was still a virgin at your age, though I'm not telling you how old I am now... or what my current status is...  

[xXwolfyhybridXx]

I'm not a virgin and never ever pressure my friends into having sex. I waited until I was with the right guy and I have been with him for the four years. I was 14 when I did and 3 months into our relationship. I don't care if anyone says that's too early and blah blah blah. It felt right to us and we got caught up in the moment, and we are going strong. Not to say we haven't had our moments but relationship is work you can't just lay back and hope it works out. I am sorry to say but your friend is a whore and pressuring you into having sex isn't a real best friend at all. I think it's fine you want to wait for the right guy and time to have sex there is nothing wrong with that.  

[Your WatchQueen]

I'm 21, a virgin, and very proud.  

[Death At Will]

i am 24 years old and still a virgin!!!!!!!!! i am the only girl in my family that is a virgin. i get praised by the adults and others who wished they had their virginity. BUT there were a few others that thought having sex was in. so i let them believe that i was not waiting that long. i was not giving them a true answer. it is not a good thing when your pregnant or even having S.T.D.s that is not something to be proud of. for me i rather wait until i'm ready.  

[Booty Popping]

i was a virgin until i was 21, lost my virginity to a co-worker of mine, and we've been dating for about a year and a half now, your friend wasn't intentionally acting like a whore, it's the norm now, though it is a little disturbing that your school is into 'casual' sexual encounters. talk to an adult, one you trust the most, this is a sensitive topic, I had no one to talk to, so i kept it locked tight...until college hit, then i went wild >w<. its okai to be a virgin at 16 nothing wrong with that ;D  

[Isis Sister Of Osiris]

I envy you girls who had the choice to wait... I didn't exactly agree to have sex the first time; someone got me tipsy and took advantage of my trust in him.  

[MiracleRayray2]

I am 16 almost 17 and i have a promise ring so i am not going to give mine away untile my honeymoon or even after that wait a little bit after i married to him.  

[iEatChildrenForLunch]

Nothing wrong with it at all. I'm 18 almost 19 and still a virgin. It was until recently that I decided to wait for marriage. Sounds old school but it's a decision I'm sticking to (:  

[RyuShikyo Yagari]

At my school it's 50-50 when it comes to if it's normal or not.
I would just ignore those comments, it's just how the world is nowadays, taking something so valuable and turning into an Idol (because if you really think about it we have become a society that practically worships it)
Anyways, bottom line; there's nothing wrong with it. In fact in my book you're in the right.  

[xxblah_girlxx]

I'm a nerd really haha, but I didn't lose my virginity until 19 (a couple years after high school for me) and it was with someone who I love and trust, and he's still my boyfriend even now (~a year later). And even since then, it's not like I'm constantly thinking about sex ever since I had it. It's still kinda new to us both and we just let it happen when it feels right.
I must say I really like your outlook on this whole situation, it's really mature and responsible and you've got it all figured out. Please keep your personal beliefs and don't let them be influenced by anyone else.
As to whether it's normal... I couldn't tell you, I didn't bother with those things in school as they weren't important to me. I was really dedicated to my studies as that's what mattered to me the most.

 

[Ayniu]

chesiregirl

So, once in my math class, I was on the subject of some old cartoon with some kids at my table. Aside from myself and my two friends, the table entirely consisted of males. Someone pointed out something about the cartoon (doesn't really matter) and I was like, "OMG THIS CRUSHED MY CHILDHOOD!"
Then...one of my female friends said something that really pissed me off.
She said, "Girl, you really need to have sex."
I was so offended, and she said in what was apparently supposed to be a consoling tone, "No, no, I get it, I used to be like you. I used to nerd out about everything, but then I had sex and now I think about sex all the time."
I tried to explain to her that I was waiting until I was in a serious relationship with a boy I really cared about, and that I just wasn't ready until then, and that sleeping with someone that I had only dated a handful of months wasn't alright with me. To me, sex is something intimate and special, especially if it's your first time.
She said, "It's okay to date a guy a couple of months and then have sex." and said she was going to set me and my friend up with two guys for us to date for a couple months before having sex with.
I was disgusted. She even said she found a boyfriend by asking some random guy, "Hey wanna have sex?" Everything she said horrified me. Now, I usually do not use the term "whore", and she is my friend, but everything she said about sex made me perceive her as MY definition of a "whore" - a female who has many different sexual partners, and does not value the intimacy of sex, and has sex ONLY for the pleasure, and NOT as a way of showing love or affection to someone you care about. Not only was I not ready and I didn't think practically anyone in High School is ready for that step emotionally, but I really don't think I should be worrying about sex and unplanned pregnancy and protection and whatnot at this point in my life.
The worst part was when the guy who sat across from me offered to be my "first time". Sure, I can read about people having sex and think about it and stuff. I mean, I know what sex is like, but thinking about having sex with a specific person makes me blush. I don't even like the guy. I think he's ignorant, stupid, and foolish. I think he's a redneck who isn't really going to go anywhere, and I think it's disgusting that he does drugs. I definitely would NOT want to sleep with, kiss, or even DATE him!
sad Anyway, is it really so unusual to be a virgin in High School? The only people my age who I KNOW are virgins are nerdy like me.

I hate to say it, but your friend doesn't sound like a very good one at all.
In short: you're right, and she's wrong.
It's tough to fight against modern opinion and what seems to be the usual custom of just having free sex with anyone these days, and now it doesn't even seem to matter how young a person is. But your friend is wrong.
Sex is not supposed to be a casual act, but an intimate one. Even if two people feel very close and intimate with each other, having sex at a way young age is not a good idea. Many people end up regretting it later.
Too many people think of sex as good for nothing more than the physical act, but sex is not meant to be just physical. It's a bond between two people who love and care about each other - a bond which, by the way, is not meant to be broken. There are a lot of people who look down on those who sleep with others outside of marriage - more so if a girl gets pregnant when she's not married.
But definitely stick to your mindset, because your friend definitely has the wrong impression of sex and what it should be about. Sex is not a shallow act, and should not be treated as such - but sadly it is, and by way too many people. I didn't lose my virginity until later, and I'm glad I never did, because for a long time I never met any guy that I truly loved and was willing to lose my virginity with. I have no regrets, but I know that if I had treated sex like an idle act, I would be greatly ashamed and would have regretted it without a doubt. Besides, nothing can compare with making love to a man you genuinely love. =) I am not a shallow person by nature, so losing my virginity to a man I didn't completely love was out of the question.
So take heart and please don't listen to your friend. It sounds like she's succumbed to the opinions of other people and the media, and whatnot. If she used to be like you, it probably means something made her feel bad about being a virgin and she caved in. But it was her mistake.
...Dare I even say, that choosing the right people to hang out with is also a good idea. Who a person hangs out with/associated with greatly affects their state of mind. It might not hurt to find more quality friends, and not girls who are sex-crazy. Even younger girls who have had sex don't necessarily think about it all the time like your friend does...so that's like a red flag. XP Lol.  

[Ayniu]

Gigi Deveraux

I envy you girls who had the choice to wait... I didn't exactly agree to have sex the first time; someone got me tipsy and took advantage of my trust in him.

sad
That is sad. I feel for you. *hugs* It's alright though, as the right man for you is out there, like people tell me. And it's true.  

[Isis Sister Of Osiris]

Ayniu

Gigi Deveraux

I envy you girls who had the choice to wait... I didn't exactly agree to have sex the first time; someone got me tipsy and took advantage of my trust in him.

sad
That is sad. I feel for you. *hugs* It's alright though, as the right man for you is out there, like people tell me. And it's true.

Thank you... emotion_hug  

[Chocolates_and_Kisses]

No! No, no, no, no, no! Do NOT be worried! I think being a virgin in highschool is AMAZING! I admire you SO much! I completely agree; wait for the right person. Now, I speak from experience, when I say that, even the right person, may not be the right person. What I mean is, you might've dated him for...say a year? Give or take a few months, and he might be sweet, kind, blah, blah, blah. But, once he gets you in the proverbial sack, he might turn on you. Just be sure. Think about it TEN TIMES and only THEN can you really be sure! It's like double-checking your work! Please, don't let your whorey-friend bring you down because thinking about sex all the time? Yeah, I'd much rather be thinking about 'Nerdy Stuff' or whatever she said. I'd say dump the chick, because you're saying she's your friend, but saying that? No, it makes her a b***h. Pardon my language. Now, I may be wrong, but this might go deeper. I'm not therapist, but this could go to Daddy Issues. Are there any issues? Did something happen when you were younger? Abuse, rape, even a divorce?