-The Past is History-

[The_9th_Doctors_Rose]

Gigi Deveraux

RainbowPop26

07/19/2012 - Part one - Surprise Early Morning Rant scream

I'm surprised you haven't kicked them all out yet... emotion_hug

I would, I really would, and I want to but I can't... it all goes back to the no job thing...if I had a job they'd be out of here so fast their heads would spin. *sigh*

I found out that not only did he move the stuff he threw the letter away. I wanna kill him and his dad. They are obviously just gonna let that b***h walk all over me for the rest of her life. I don't care if she is sick and grouchy its her own damn fault she is sick. She cheated on dad and went sleeping around for drugs and contracted HIV. She already had asthma and breathing problems but she just won't quit smoking...you should hear her cough its terrible. I feel no sympathy for her after the way she has treated me the past 6 years...

Examples?

We went to Chicago. I paid for the whole ******** trip. The gas, the hotel rooms, the food everything. She paid an 80 cent toll. She never did tell me thank you and then she got mad when we went to a pizza place BC we ordered something on the pizza she refused to eat so just to make her not angry dad had ME buy HER her own pizza. I should've let the b***h go hungry and stay angry.

This is just one of the many, many things she has done. I stopped paying for her and just paid for dad and Robert when we went places and she got mad and bitched and complained to dad about it. I told him to tell her she is ungrateful and never says thank you for the things I do for her so I just stopped doing for her.

On top of all this she gives me dirty looks on a daily basis. I'll smile at her she scowls at me. And apparently she thinks she has the right to boss me around BC the other night I cooked food for me and Robert and she told me very forcefully that I needed to wash my dishes. IN MY OWN HOUSE ******** YOU b***h! I was going to I was eating and relaxing my back I didn't have to wash them the second I messed them up.

Yesterday it started to rain and the windows were down on her and dad's car. Robert got the keys and rolled the windows up and she bitched at him and told him next time to leave it alone she will do it.

The thing that makes me the maddest is when I get mad and go on a rant about how much I hate her and want her out of my house dad just sits there and gives me mean looks and rolls his eyes at me. DUDE SHE CHEATED ON YOU A BILLION TIMES AND CONTRACTED HIV WHY ARE YOU STILL WITH HER. SHE IS A b***h, GOD! Robert is almost as bad and says he will talk to dad about it which I never hear him do.

I told our nice roommate that if dad had really cared about Robert he would have kicked Blissy's a** out the door the minute she started yelling and screaming at Robert for no reason. She made his childhood a living hell. He actually put a gun to his head and pulled the trigger because her yelling at him stresses him out (it wasn't loaded apparently otherwise he'd be dead and we wouldn't be having this conversation). Now when we get in fights if I yell at him he gets even angrier and takes out his anger towards her on me.

She wasn't even supposed to be living here...dad got mad at her and said he wanted to move in with us so we said yes BC he was finally gonna leave her....the time came for them to move...oh she doesn't have anywhere else to go can she move in with us....GAH scream I should have just told him hell no stay at your ******** trailer with her nasty a** and be broke all the time.

OK I'm done now I think

scream

 

[Isis Sister Of Osiris]

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[The_9th_Doctors_Rose]

Thanks Gigi heart

07/19/2012

I think I wrote enough already don't you? Meh. Just tired...

Bedtime nao. Good night all!

 

[The_9th_Doctors_Rose]

07/20/2012

Oops I forgot to write here yesterday. I went to see Tiff and Natalee and wound up being dragged to the library so she could use my tablet to get online yay...we were gone till 4am or later...I tried to get up early but I just keep sleeping...oops...

 

[Isis Sister Of Osiris]

RainbowPop26

07/20/2012

Oops I forgot to write here yesterday. I went to see Tiff and Natalee and wound up being dragged to the library so she could use my tablet to get online yay...we were gone till 4am or later...I tried to get up early but I just keep sleeping...oops...

It's hard to keep a "normal" schedule when you don't have a job emotion_hug  

[The_9th_Doctors_Rose]

Gigi Deveraux

RainbowPop26

07/20/2012

Oops I forgot to write here yesterday. I went to see Tiff and Natalee and wound up being dragged to the library so she could use my tablet to get online yay...we were gone till 4am or later...I tried to get up early but I just keep sleeping...oops...

It's hard to keep a "normal" schedule when you don't have a job emotion_hug

So very very true emotion_hug  

[The_9th_Doctors_Rose]

07/24/2012

So its been a few days since I posted here...been kinda busy...

Finished off two contests...phew...

I get to stay on as a guild crew member so yaaay its about the only thing I have to be happy about...

I am ******** upset at 99% of the world right now and idk why...I'm pissed off and depressed...I just want to scream...I feel like I ******** hate my life and if I wasn't such a big a** chicken I would probably end it...good thing I'm a coward cause I know I would wind up regretting that decision...I don't wanna wind up going through the black door it would be horrifying (something to do with reincarnation...ask me if you're curious...)

I just ugh.... scream

I don't feel like doing anything but the internet...I don't want to get up to get food, or shower, or go to the bathroom...or sleep...or go anywhere other than the two rooms in my house where the internet works...the only reason I do anything other than internet lately is because I have to...probably because I'm trying to escape the shitty life I have...idk...when I look at it from a omfg you selfish b***h pov I can see that its not THAT bad lots of people have it worse than me...I try to tell myself that but it doesn't ******** help...I want to wallow in self ******** ******** it...


Gaaaah.... scream

Going to bed...maybe tomorrow will be ******** doubt it....my birthday is in less than two days...I'm 25 and have nothing to show for it... woo ******** hoo...let's ******** celebrate /sarcasm....

Good Night All...  

[Isis Sister Of Osiris]

RainbowPop26

07/24/2012

So its been a few days since I posted here...been kinda busy...

Finished off two contests...phew...

I get to stay on as a guild crew member so yaaay its about the only thing I have to be happy about...

I am ******** upset at 99% of the world right now and idk why...I'm pissed off and depressed...I just want to scream...I feel like I ******** hate my life and if I wasn't such a big a** chicken I would probably end it...good thing I'm a coward cause I know I would wind up regretting that decision...I don't wanna wind up going through the black door it would be horrifying (something to do with reincarnation...ask me if you're curious...)

I just ugh.... scream

I don't feel like doing anything but the internet...I don't want to get up to get food, or shower, or go to the bathroom...or sleep...or go anywhere other than the two rooms in my house where the internet works...the only reason I do anything other than internet lately is because I have to...probably because I'm trying to escape the shitty life I have...idk...when I look at it from a omfg you selfish b***h pov I can see that its not THAT bad lots of people have it worse than me...I try to tell myself that but it doesn't ******** help...I want to wallow in self ******** ******** it...


Gaaaah.... scream

Going to bed...maybe tomorrow will be ******** doubt it....my birthday is in less than two days...I'm 25 and have nothing to show for it... woo ******** hoo...let's ******** celebrate /sarcasm....

Good Night All...

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Well, yes, I can see why you feel the way you do... and you have every right to.

I've mentioned before I went to some group therapy that was based on Al-Anon/Ala-Teen methods. What I took away from that was basically that I have ZERO control over what other people choose to do, say or think, and I might as well quit fretting about it.

I choose whether to be happy or unhappy. Therefore I choose to be happy.

You have no idea how much it pisses some people off when they can't make you unhappy. Especially when they're unhappy and want to drag everyone down to their level of misery or lower. Haters gonna hate. Parents gonna think I'm less 'cause I'm XX instead of XY. Assholes gonna call me fat. I decide to let them affect me or not.

You decide whether to be happy or not. I really hope you choose to be happy! emotion_hug Especially because it will piss them off no end.

Now go take a nice shower, wash your hair, then... hm... how about prep a cleansing ritual for, say, the full moon? Wash all the hurt away and start with a full cup. emotion_hug  

[The_9th_Doctors_Rose]

Gigi Deveraux

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Well, yes, I can see why you feel the way you do... and you have every right to.

I've mentioned before I went to some group therapy that was based on Al-Anon/Ala-Teen methods. What I took away from that was basically that I have ZERO control over what other people choose to do, say or think, and I might as well quit fretting about it.

I choose whether to be happy or unhappy. Therefore I choose to be happy.

You have no idea how much it pisses some people off when they can't make you unhappy. Especially when they're unhappy and want to drag everyone down to their level of misery or lower. Haters gonna hate. Parents gonna think I'm less 'cause I'm XX instead of XY. Assholes gonna call me fat. I decide to let them affect me or not.

You decide whether to be happy or not. I really hope you choose to be happy! emotion_hug Especially because it will piss them off no end.

Now go take a nice shower, wash your hair, then... hm... how about prep a cleansing ritual for, say, the full moon? Wash all the hurt away and start with a full cup. emotion_hug

emotion_hug Thanks I really appreciate your kind words. Truth is the person I am really truly pissed off at is me. Its a good point choosing to be happy. I should. I try... it doesn't seem to work lately...it did for a long time but the older I get the harder it is... I have a bajillion unresolved issues that I can't handle alone and I can't afford professional help even though I'm pretty sure I need it. A ritual would be good but its bad to attempt magick when you are sick or in a bad mood BC you could wind up sending out bad energy to others unintentionally or something...meh...a shower sounds kinda nice but I will probably wait till morning BC I'm tired.

emotion_hug

Thanks again for being my friend.  

[Isis Sister Of Osiris]

RainbowPop26

a shower sounds kinda nice but I will probably wait till morning BC I'm tired.

emotion_hug

Thanks again for being my friend.

Nooo! Don't let their assholiness turn you into a slob like they are! Besides, you'll sleep better after a warm-to-hot shower.

emotion_hug you;re welcome, hon. Sweet dreams!  

[The_9th_Doctors_Rose]

Gigi Deveraux

RainbowPop26

a shower sounds kinda nice but I will probably wait till morning BC I'm tired.

emotion_hug

Thanks again for being my friend.

Nooo! Don't let their assholiness turn you into a slob like they are! Besides, you'll sleep better after a warm-to-hot shower.

emotion_hug you;re welcome, hon. Sweet dreams!

I have to wash clothes first anyway... I have like two pairs of pants...one are jeans the other are sleep pants (but they are getting a hole in them gonk like all my clothes do). I have more shirts but most of them have holes too...and I have two bras...one is pretty much unwearable cause of holes (again) blah....

Robert is supposed to be taking me out for my birthday tomorrow night when he gets home from work...perhaps that will cheer me up some...

And I NEVER go to bed before midnight no matter how tired I am...it feels weird... so unless I am passing out I force myself to stay up...  

[The_9th_Doctors_Rose]

08/10/2012

*sigh*

So its been a while since I posted here.

The internet has NOT been working on my tablet very well these past few days. The only reason I've been able to do anything really is because I sometimes get to use Robert's dad's laptop after he goes to bed if Robert isn't on it or will let me use it for a few minutes. Tonight he is gone to his friend's house...so I guess I get to use it... his friend...it bugs me...his friend is like a 50 year old man... I swear he talks like he is gay...not that all gay guys sound the same or anything but I swear he does sound gay... He is a massage therapist...he is giving Robert massages for free... I was like YAY I can get one too... no he doesn't want to give massages to females *insert weird excuse about how they might try to say he tried something or other here*

Robert always goes to see him late at night too...now to be honest I have no problem with Robert being gay or bi if he is but a. He could own up and admit it and b. Ew, old guy... find someone your own age...

Maybe I am reading too much into it... he has another friend who has let him borrow a lot of money who is like 50+ and I KNOW for a FACT he is gay... Robert spends hours around him too...but whatever... if he is gonna mess around with old guys behind my back I say fair is fair let me mess around with other girls or something...sheez

Again maybe I am reading too much into this but Robert...[tmi alert don't highlight if you don't wanna know] he likes stuff being inserted into his rear end...
Meh.

On another note...we are probably moving to another town... its true I have a house here but this other town has tons of businesses and it may be easier for me to get a job so I am going to rent this house out to Robert's aunt for way less than what it is worth AGAIN (she rented it for two years before for the same amount because she "can't afford anymore") it kind of annoys the hell out of me...but whatever... what she is paying me will cover our rent in the other town so all we will have to pay is trash (once a year) and electricity every month ( which is bound to be WAY less than it is here considering that they freaking gouge the prices here)... We figure this way we can save up money to pay the taxes on the house and to fix the house up to either rent it out to someone else for more money or sell it...I don't know which one I want to do yet... this new place is rent to own...the term is 12 freaking years....in twelve years I will be 37 years old...I don't even know if I wanna be with Robert for another 12 years...but I guess it doesn't have to be permanant if I don't want it to be....that is if we can manage to get a place... we have to pass a background check first... I know Robert and I can... Blissy on the other hand...I doubt it honestly I do....she has a felony or two for forging prescriptions (she changed the loratab mgs to be higher or something like a rere) The plan is since they only have one place open atm we would move in the same place and then when they fix the floor in the other one Robert and I take it...I kinda hope Blissy doesn't get approved because I really like the one they are getting...its the one I wanted...it has bay windows in the kitchen...his dad always gets his way though so I guess I just have to get over it...

Debbie and Charles said they heard dad say that he didn't even know why I had to go look at the houses and Debbie told him I deserved to get to go because its my house too... I talked to Robert and he said that Dad didn't say that... honestly I think I believe her over Robert...they want to keep me in line I think...I think they are just using me because I have a house that can be sold or rented out for money...I think its always been about the money... Robert got with me after my mom died he was bound to have guessed there would be some money in it...

I don't know maybe I am off...I don't care anymore... I'm tired of caring... I'm just gonna let life do what it wants to do and get the ******** over it... I don't have much of a choice anyway so I might as well just deal...maybe I can get a good job and then I won't have to worry about them anymore...*sigh*  

[Isis Sister Of Osiris]

RainbowPop26

08/10/2012

*sigh*

So its been a while since I posted here.

The internet has NOT been working on my tablet very well these past few days. The only reason I've been able to do anything really is because I sometimes get to use Robert's dad's laptop after he goes to bed if Robert isn't on it or will let me use it for a few minutes. Tonight he is gone to his friend's house...so I guess I get to use it... his friend...it bugs me...his friend is like a 50 year old man... I swear he talks like he is gay...not that all gay guys sound the same or anything but I swear he does sound gay... He is a massage therapist...he is giving Robert massages for free... I was like YAY I can get one too... no he doesn't want to give massages to females *insert weird excuse about how they might try to say he tried something or other here*

Robert always goes to see him late at night too...now to be honest I have no problem with Robert being gay or bi if he is but a. He could own up and admit it and b. Ew, old guy... find someone your own age...

Maybe I am reading too much into it... he has another friend who has let him borrow a lot of money who is like 50+ and I KNOW for a FACT he is gay... Robert spends hours around him too...but whatever... if he is gonna mess around with old guys behind my back I say fair is fair let me mess around with other girls or something...sheez

Again maybe I am reading too much into this but Robert...[tmi alert don't highlight if you don't wanna know] he likes stuff being inserted into his rear end...
Meh.

On another note...we are probably moving to another town... its true I have a house here but this other town has tons of businesses and it may be easier for me to get a job so I am going to rent this house out to Robert's aunt for way less than what it is worth AGAIN (she rented it for two years before for the same amount because she "can't afford anymore") it kind of annoys the hell out of me...but whatever... what she is paying me will cover our rent in the other town so all we will have to pay is trash (once a year) and electricity every month ( which is bound to be WAY less than it is here considering that they freaking gouge the prices here)... We figure this way we can save up money to pay the taxes on the house and to fix the house up to either rent it out to someone else for more money or sell it...I don't know which one I want to do yet... this new place is rent to own...the term is 12 freaking years....in twelve years I will be 37 years old...I don't even know if I wanna be with Robert for another 12 years...but I guess it doesn't have to be permanant if I don't want it to be....that is if we can manage to get a place... we have to pass a background check first... I know Robert and I can... Blissy on the other hand...I doubt it honestly I do....she has a felony or two for forging prescriptions (she changed the loratab mgs to be higher or something like a rere) The plan is since they only have one place open atm we would move in the same place and then when they fix the floor in the other one Robert and I take it...I kinda hope Blissy doesn't get approved because I really like the one they are getting...its the one I wanted...it has bay windows in the kitchen...his dad always gets his way though so I guess I just have to get over it...

Debbie and Charles said they heard dad say that he didn't even know why I had to go look at the houses and Debbie told him I deserved to get to go because its my house too... I talked to Robert and he said that Dad didn't say that... honestly I think I believe her over Robert...they want to keep me in line I think...I think they are just using me because I have a house that can be sold or rented out for money...I think its always been about the money... Robert got with me after my mom died he was bound to have guessed there would be some money in it...

I don't know maybe I am off...I don't care anymore... I'm tired of caring... I'm just gonna let life do what it wants to do and get the ******** over it... I don't have much of a choice anyway so I might as well just deal...maybe I can get a good job and then I won't have to worry about them anymore...*sigh*

List time, just to keep subjects clear and separate:

1. Robert is gay, and you're his beard.

2. No. DO NOT rent-to-own. Just rent. This economy is not good for a RTO. Also, why the hell do you have to drag his a*****e father and even assholier stepmother along?

As for auntie Whatsername, if she's living in the house, SHE pays the power bill. Sewer and trash, well, that's up to you, but main utilities are her responsibility. Also, if she can't pay market price on rent, shop around for another renter, or put the house on the market, even if it's at a lower price than you'd like to. I know it's full of memories for you, but as long as you can remember things, you haven't lost said memories. emotion_hug

3. Yes, I agree they're only using you for their own economic gain. I'd trust D and C way more than Robert & Co. any day.

4. No. You deserve better. You deserve GOOD things.  

[The_9th_Doctors_Rose]

Gigi Deveraux

List time, just to keep subjects clear and separate:

1. Robert is gay, and you're his beard.

2. No. DO NOT rent-to-own. Just rent. This economy is not good for a RTO. Also, why the hell do you have to drag his a*****e father and even assholier stepmother along?

As for auntie Whatsername, if she's living in the house, SHE pays the power bill. Sewer and trash, well, that's up to you, but main utilities are her responsibility. Also, if she can't pay market price on rent, shop around for another renter, or put the house on the market, even if it's at a lower price than you'd like to. I know it's full of memories for you, but as long as you can remember things, you haven't lost said memories. emotion_hug

3. Yes, I agree they're only using you for their own economic gain. I'd trust D and C way more than Robert & Co. any day.

4. No. You deserve better. You deserve GOOD things.

1. I LOL'd bc you reminded me of this with the beard remark:
Harry Potter and the Steamy Slow Jam of Awesome...
(Totally not off subject....nooooo sweatdrop )
But seriously I think he is bi bc he is such a freaking pervert when it comes to me...though he did say when he cheated on me he [tmi alert had a hard time getting it up...apparently they supposedly didn't turn him on or something ]

2. It cost the same either way so I don't really see the harm in RTO...
I don't know...it was my idea to move in the first place then they got all excited about it...Honestly I really, really hope she fails the background check so she can't go. Robert said we are moving either way... I really wanted the one that his dad and her are getting...but like I said Dad ALWAYS gets his way. We are only living with them till they fix the floor in the other house then we are moving into that one. Its only gonna take another month or so, so it won't be THAT long...if it was I would pull all my hair out I swear.

Oh she is gonna pay all the utilities and stuff....and we are renting to her bc everyone (including me) wants to move asap...the house still needs some work and she doesn't mind cleaning it or dealing with the upkeep.

3. Yea I am REALLY going to look for a job when we move. Hopefully I can find one.

4. At this point in my life I just can't see that. My life has been nearly 6 years of pain and depression. How can I deserve good things when apparently nothing has been good for so long?

Thanks for the reply btw emotion_hug

 

[Isis Sister Of Osiris]

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