DyraBlack
Well I just got married in September...
Now, if the concern of marriage is about the wedding then I think that's the wrong way to look at it. Technically you don't even have to observe a custom of a wedding to get married. Head on down to your City Hall, fill out the application, pay the fee, take the oath BOOM! Married.
Weddings are a beast of another nature. We only had ours because our families REALLY REALLY wanted one. So they paid for it, that was the deal we struck as my husband and I weren't really into the whole wedding thing.
Now if you want a giant wedding and it's something you've always dreamed about, I would urge you to save up for it and get everything you want. Please do not start your marriage in debt because of a fantasy. Heck, I know some people who get married, save for a couple years then host a giant wedding.
So now if you have an issue with marriage itself. I believe this is entirely a personal thing. For some people the idea of having the government tell them whether or not their relationship is valid really bothers them so they decide to opt out of the practice of marriage. Other people it's a distaste for religious or social norms...etc etc the list goes on why someone would not feel marriage is for them. All of the reasons are valid.
My husband and I decided that legal marriage was the most practical thing for us and it was a decision we made together. I know that doesn't sound very romantic but I'll explain. We had been best friends since we were 15, started dating in our early 20s, after being in a commited relationship for years we discussed and expressed that we felt that this is a forever thing. We were in it for the long haul. Eventually we decided we wanted to move (omg we're moving in a couple of months!!) but realized that if we wanted to make it official we should do it so that our families (who all live in the same City) could be included so we did the whole legal marriage/wedding sha-bang.
TL;DR
Marriage and Weddings are not the same thing. Getting married is a personal decision and both options (to get married or not) are valid and should be respected imho.
Now, if the concern of marriage is about the wedding then I think that's the wrong way to look at it. Technically you don't even have to observe a custom of a wedding to get married. Head on down to your City Hall, fill out the application, pay the fee, take the oath BOOM! Married.
Weddings are a beast of another nature. We only had ours because our families REALLY REALLY wanted one. So they paid for it, that was the deal we struck as my husband and I weren't really into the whole wedding thing.
Now if you want a giant wedding and it's something you've always dreamed about, I would urge you to save up for it and get everything you want. Please do not start your marriage in debt because of a fantasy. Heck, I know some people who get married, save for a couple years then host a giant wedding.
So now if you have an issue with marriage itself. I believe this is entirely a personal thing. For some people the idea of having the government tell them whether or not their relationship is valid really bothers them so they decide to opt out of the practice of marriage. Other people it's a distaste for religious or social norms...etc etc the list goes on why someone would not feel marriage is for them. All of the reasons are valid.
My husband and I decided that legal marriage was the most practical thing for us and it was a decision we made together. I know that doesn't sound very romantic but I'll explain. We had been best friends since we were 15, started dating in our early 20s, after being in a commited relationship for years we discussed and expressed that we felt that this is a forever thing. We were in it for the long haul. Eventually we decided we wanted to move (omg we're moving in a couple of months!!) but realized that if we wanted to make it official we should do it so that our families (who all live in the same City) could be included so we did the whole legal marriage/wedding sha-bang.
TL;DR
Marriage and Weddings are not the same thing. Getting married is a personal decision and both options (to get married or not) are valid and should be respected imho.
Congratulations on your recent marriage!
Also... I wish tipping posts was available in guilds. I agree with a lot of what you said in the rest of your post.
