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 Posted: Tue Sep 14, 2021 2:33 pm
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Giving birth alone sounds like a scary, traumatic experience. But one woman's husband is blaming her for the fact that he didn't answer his phone on the day their child was born.
The woman took to Reddit to ask for advice about whether she should have "tried harder" to tell her husband she was going into labor. Here's the story.
She says her husband is "distant and private":
My husband who I do love and does love me. Is a distant and private person. To everyone. His mom was having health problems and I didn't know until weeks later when I spike to her. I asked him how she was doing later and he said he didn't know. That just how he deal with things. He doesn't want to get to personal with anyone. We share hobbies and can have good conversations as long as they are not to personal. It can be off putting but I do genuinely enjoy his company.
The Art & Science of Museum Conservation
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Last week, she went into labor while he was at work:
Jump to this last week. I am pregnant and went into labor. It was only a few days before my due date so nothing concerning. I tried to call his work but his phone went right to voice mail because he was in a meeting. I text him. Still no answer. I waited a half hour the tried again and still couldn't get through. My labor was getting further along. So I called a friend to get a ride to the hospital.
Her husband didn't check his phone until it was too late:
By the time my husband checked his phone at the end of the work day, I had already given birth to our daughter. Everything was very straight forward no complications we were ready to leave by the next morning.
Now, he's upset with her:
My husband is upset with me though. Saying I should have come by his work to tell him it was time. But he has alway's been distant about work. I know what department he works in but not where his office is in the building. It would have been awkward.
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He says her actions were "unforgivable":
My husband has told me what I did was unforgivable. He hasn't called me an a*****e but has said I am horrible person for denying him the joy of seeing our daughter born.
[Am I the a-hole] for not trying harder to contact him.
She also added more specifics about her texts to him:
Info because a lot are asking. I did text specifically that I was in labor. I left voice mail to the same. I panicked a bit and didn't call his office because he likes to keep work and home separate. Which means I don't know a lot about his work and I was worried I would over share to his coworkers by calling.
She continued:
And him not checking his phone. That is apart of his work home split to. He doesn't deal with anything work related at home but also just put his personal phone out of his mind at work. It is rare for me to get a response from him at all while he is at work on a normal day.
ADVERTISING
The people of Reddit agree that she did all she could.
DenniPenni says:
He expected you, a person in labor, to come to his work to find him, and he had his phone off (instead of silence or wtv) when he very much knew that you were days from your due date??? NTA, your husband is just clueless. He needs to have been better in general about paying attention.
Angeliniana summed it up:
Your husband let you down
He wasn't there for you for the birth of your child and he's making it about him
He has twisted this
BDSM_Queen agrees:
what the hell is his deal? He is emotionally distant and keeps his life private from his wife, but expects you, when you are in labor, to come by his work? Lmaooo
He messed up, and I bet he knows he did. His wife was due for labor any day now. He should have been continuously checking his phone throughout the day. He didn't check it till the end of the day? Come on, now. That is unacceptable.
ADVERTISING
Singstunewoutthewords says:
Your husband sucks. Mama, I am scared for you. The fact that you felt like you couldn't try harder to reach him at his work because of his own weird privacy issues is worrying. That you were in labor but felt like you couldn't exhaust all avenues to get through to another human to physically get your husband to the phone concerns me so much. And I'm so angry on your behalf that he didn't check his phone at all for several hours while you were heavily pregnant.
Cute-Shine-1701 finds his behavior concerning:
If he is like this now with his wife, how will he be with that poor kid? "Oh, no sweetie, daddy loves you, the fact that he is colder than the Antarctica and the cashier at the supermarket lets you in their life more than he does means nothing, you can believe that to mommy."
Privacy is a good thing to some extent, what he is doing is borderline obsessive.
ADVERTISING
Quercusqueen97 points out how odd it is that he keeps his work life so private:
This also sounds kind of weird, he won't even tell you where he works? How much does he keep from you? Sounds like he has serious communication and trust issues
And roboy428 lays out exactly how it should've worked:
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Posted: Tue Sep 14, 2021 2:33 pm
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Giving birth alone sounds like a scary, traumatic experience. But one woman's husband is blaming her for the fact that he didn't answer his phone on the day their child was born.
The woman took to Reddit to ask for advice about whether she should have "tried harder" to tell her husband she was going into labor. Here's the story.
She says her husband is "distant and private":
My husband who I do love and does love me. Is a distant and private person. To everyone. His mom was having health problems and I didn't know until weeks later when I spike to her. I asked him how she was doing later and he said he didn't know. That just how he deal with things. He doesn't want to get to personal with anyone. We share hobbies and can have good conversations as long as they are not to personal. It can be off putting but I do genuinely enjoy his company.
The Art & Science of Museum Conservation
ADVERTISING
Last week, she went into labor while he was at work:
Jump to this last week. I am pregnant and went into labor. It was only a few days before my due date so nothing concerning. I tried to call his work but his phone went right to voice mail because he was in a meeting. I text him. Still no answer. I waited a half hour the tried again and still couldn't get through. My labor was getting further along. So I called a friend to get a ride to the hospital.
Her husband didn't check his phone until it was too late:
By the time my husband checked his phone at the end of the work day, I had already given birth to our daughter. Everything was very straight forward no complications we were ready to leave by the next morning.
Now, he's upset with her:
My husband is upset with me though. Saying I should have come by his work to tell him it was time. But he has alway's been distant about work. I know what department he works in but not where his office is in the building. It would have been awkward.
ADVERTISING
He says her actions were "unforgivable":
My husband has told me what I did was unforgivable. He hasn't called me an a*****e but has said I am horrible person for denying him the joy of seeing our daughter born.
[Am I the a-hole] for not trying harder to contact him.
She also added more specifics about her texts to him:
Info because a lot are asking. I did text specifically that I was in labor. I left voice mail to the same. I panicked a bit and didn't call his office because he likes to keep work and home separate. Which means I don't know a lot about his work and I was worried I would over share to his coworkers by calling.
She continued:
And him not checking his phone. That is apart of his work home split to. He doesn't deal with anything work related at home but also just put his personal phone out of his mind at work. It is rare for me to get a response from him at all while he is at work on a normal day.
ADVERTISING
The people of Reddit agree that she did all she could.
DenniPenni says:
He expected you, a person in labor, to come to his work to find him, and he had his phone off (instead of silence or wtv) when he very much knew that you were days from your due date??? NTA, your husband is just clueless. He needs to have been better in general about paying attention.
Angeliniana summed it up:
Your husband let you down
He wasn't there for you for the birth of your child and he's making it about him
He has twisted this
BDSM_Queen agrees:
what the hell is his deal? He is emotionally distant and keeps his life private from his wife, but expects you, when you are in labor, to come by his work? Lmaooo
He messed up, and I bet he knows he did. His wife was due for labor any day now. He should have been continuously checking his phone throughout the day. He didn't check it till the end of the day? Come on, now. That is unacceptable.
ADVERTISING
Singstunewoutthewords says:
Your husband sucks. Mama, I am scared for you. The fact that you felt like you couldn't try harder to reach him at his work because of his own weird privacy issues is worrying. That you were in labor but felt like you couldn't exhaust all avenues to get through to another human to physically get your husband to the phone concerns me so much. And I'm so angry on your behalf that he didn't check his phone at all for several hours while you were heavily pregnant.
Cute-Shine-1701 finds his behavior concerning:
If he is like this now with his wife, how will he be with that poor kid? "Oh, no sweetie, daddy loves you, the fact that he is colder than the Antarctica and the cashier at the supermarket lets you in their life more than he does means nothing, you can believe that to mommy."
Privacy is a good thing to some extent, what he is doing is borderline obsessive.
ADVERTISING
Quercusqueen97 points out how odd it is that he keeps his work life so private:
This also sounds kind of weird, he won't even tell you where he works? How much does he keep from you? Sounds like he has serious communication and trust issues
And roboy428 lays out exactly how it should've worked:
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Posted: Tue Sep 14, 2021 2:36 pm
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Giving birth alone sounds like a scary, traumatic experience. But one woman's husband is blaming her for the fact that he didn't answer his phone on the day their child was born.
The woman took to Reddit to ask for advice about whether she should have "tried harder" to tell her husband she was going into labor. Here's the story.
She says her husband is "distant and private":
My husband who I do love and does love me. Is a distant and private person. To everyone. His mom was having health problems and I didn't know until weeks later when I spike to her. I asked him how she was doing later and he said he didn't know. That just how he deal with things. He doesn't want to get to personal with anyone. We share hobbies and can have good conversations as long as they are not to personal. It can be off putting but I do genuinely enjoy his company.
The Art & Science of Museum Conservation
ADVERTISING
Last week, she went into labor while he was at work:
Jump to this last week. I am pregnant and went into labor. It was only a few days before my due date so nothing concerning. I tried to call his work but his phone went right to voice mail because he was in a meeting. I text him. Still no answer. I waited a half hour the tried again and still couldn't get through. My labor was getting further along. So I called a friend to get a ride to the hospital.
Her husband didn't check his phone until it was too late:
By the time my husband checked his phone at the end of the work day, I had already given birth to our daughter. Everything was very straight forward no complications we were ready to leave by the next morning.
Now, he's upset with her:
My husband is upset with me though. Saying I should have come by his work to tell him it was time. But he has alway's been distant about work. I know what department he works in but not where his office is in the building. It would have been awkward.
ADVERTISING
He says her actions were "unforgivable":
My husband has told me what I did was unforgivable. He hasn't called me an a*****e but has said I am horrible person for denying him the joy of seeing our daughter born.
[Am I the a-hole] for not trying harder to contact him.
She also added more specifics about her texts to him:
Info because a lot are asking. I did text specifically that I was in labor. I left voice mail to the same. I panicked a bit and didn't call his office because he likes to keep work and home separate. Which means I don't know a lot about his work and I was worried I would over share to his coworkers by calling.
She continued:
And him not checking his phone. That is apart of his work home split to. He doesn't deal with anything work related at home but also just put his personal phone out of his mind at work. It is rare for me to get a response from him at all while he is at work on a normal day.
ADVERTISING
The people of Reddit agree that she did all she could.
DenniPenni says:
He expected you, a person in labor, to come to his work to find him, and he had his phone off (instead of silence or wtv) when he very much knew that you were days from your due date??? NTA, your husband is just clueless. He needs to have been better in general about paying attention.
Angeliniana summed it up:
Your husband let you down
He wasn't there for you for the birth of your child and he's making it about him
He has twisted this
BDSM_Queen agrees:
what the hell is his deal? He is emotionally distant and keeps his life private from his wife, but expects you, when you are in labor, to come by his work? Lmaooo
He messed up, and I bet he knows he did. His wife was due for labor any day now. He should have been continuously checking his phone throughout the day. He didn't check it till the end of the day? Come on, now. That is unacceptable.
ADVERTISING
Singstunewoutthewords says:
Your husband sucks. Mama, I am scared for you. The fact that you felt like you couldn't try harder to reach him at his work because of his own weird privacy issues is worrying. That you were in labor but felt like you couldn't exhaust all avenues to get through to another human to physically get your husband to the phone concerns me so much. And I'm so angry on your behalf that he didn't check his phone at all for several hours while you were heavily pregnant.
Cute-Shine-1701 finds his behavior concerning:
If he is like this now with his wife, how will he be with that poor kid? "Oh, no sweetie, daddy loves you, the fact that he is colder than the Antarctica and the cashier at the supermarket lets you in their life more than he does means nothing, you can believe that to mommy."
Privacy is a good thing to some extent, what he is doing is borderline obsessive.
ADVERTISING
Quercusqueen97 points out how odd it is that he keeps his work life so private:
This also sounds kind of weird, he won't even tell you where he works? How much does he keep from you? Sounds like he has serious communication and trust issues
And roboy428 lays out exactly how it should've worked:
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Posted: Tue Sep 14, 2021 2:36 pm
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Giving birth alone sounds like a scary, traumatic experience. But one woman's husband is blaming her for the fact that he didn't answer his phone on the day their child was born.
The woman took to Reddit to ask for advice about whether she should have "tried harder" to tell her husband she was going into labor. Here's the story.
She says her husband is "distant and private":
My husband who I do love and does love me. Is a distant and private person. To everyone. His mom was having health problems and I didn't know until weeks later when I spike to her. I asked him how she was doing later and he said he didn't know. That just how he deal with things. He doesn't want to get to personal with anyone. We share hobbies and can have good conversations as long as they are not to personal. It can be off putting but I do genuinely enjoy his company.
The Art & Science of Museum Conservation
ADVERTISING
Last week, she went into labor while he was at work:
Jump to this last week. I am pregnant and went into labor. It was only a few days before my due date so nothing concerning. I tried to call his work but his phone went right to voice mail because he was in a meeting. I text him. Still no answer. I waited a half hour the tried again and still couldn't get through. My labor was getting further along. So I called a friend to get a ride to the hospital.
Her husband didn't check his phone until it was too late:
By the time my husband checked his phone at the end of the work day, I had already given birth to our daughter. Everything was very straight forward no complications we were ready to leave by the next morning.
Now, he's upset with her:
My husband is upset with me though. Saying I should have come by his work to tell him it was time. But he has alway's been distant about work. I know what department he works in but not where his office is in the building. It would have been awkward.
ADVERTISING
He says her actions were "unforgivable":
My husband has told me what I did was unforgivable. He hasn't called me an a*****e but has said I am horrible person for denying him the joy of seeing our daughter born.
[Am I the a-hole] for not trying harder to contact him.
She also added more specifics about her texts to him:
Info because a lot are asking. I did text specifically that I was in labor. I left voice mail to the same. I panicked a bit and didn't call his office because he likes to keep work and home separate. Which means I don't know a lot about his work and I was worried I would over share to his coworkers by calling.
She continued:
And him not checking his phone. That is apart of his work home split to. He doesn't deal with anything work related at home but also just put his personal phone out of his mind at work. It is rare for me to get a response from him at all while he is at work on a normal day.
ADVERTISING
The people of Reddit agree that she did all she could.
DenniPenni says:
He expected you, a person in labor, to come to his work to find him, and he had his phone off (instead of silence or wtv) when he very much knew that you were days from your due date??? NTA, your husband is just clueless. He needs to have been better in general about paying attention.
Angeliniana summed it up:
Your husband let you down
He wasn't there for you for the birth of your child and he's making it about him
He has twisted this
BDSM_Queen agrees:
what the hell is his deal? He is emotionally distant and keeps his life private from his wife, but expects you, when you are in labor, to come by his work? Lmaooo
He messed up, and I bet he knows he did. His wife was due for labor any day now. He should have been continuously checking his phone throughout the day. He didn't check it till the end of the day? Come on, now. That is unacceptable.
ADVERTISING
Singstunewoutthewords says:
Your husband sucks. Mama, I am scared for you. The fact that you felt like you couldn't try harder to reach him at his work because of his own weird privacy issues is worrying. That you were in labor but felt like you couldn't exhaust all avenues to get through to another human to physically get your husband to the phone concerns me so much. And I'm so angry on your behalf that he didn't check his phone at all for several hours while you were heavily pregnant.
Cute-Shine-1701 finds his behavior concerning:
If he is like this now with his wife, how will he be with that poor kid? "Oh, no sweetie, daddy loves you, the fact that he is colder than the Antarctica and the cashier at the supermarket lets you in their life more than he does means nothing, you can believe that to mommy."
Privacy is a good thing to some extent, what he is doing is borderline obsessive.
ADVERTISING
Quercusqueen97 points out how odd it is that he keeps his work life so private:
This also sounds kind of weird, he won't even tell you where he works? How much does he keep from you? Sounds like he has serious communication and trust issues
And roboy428 lays out exactly how it should've worked:
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Posted: Tue Sep 14, 2021 2:36 pm
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Giving birth alone sounds like a scary, traumatic experience. But one woman's husband is blaming her for the fact that he didn't answer his phone on the day their child was born.
The woman took to Reddit to ask for advice about whether she should have "tried harder" to tell her husband she was going into labor. Here's the story.
She says her husband is "distant and private":
My husband who I do love and does love me. Is a distant and private person. To everyone. His mom was having health problems and I didn't know until weeks later when I spike to her. I asked him how she was doing later and he said he didn't know. That just how he deal with things. He doesn't want to get to personal with anyone. We share hobbies and can have good conversations as long as they are not to personal. It can be off putting but I do genuinely enjoy his company.
The Art & Science of Museum Conservation
ADVERTISING
Last week, she went into labor while he was at work:
Jump to this last week. I am pregnant and went into labor. It was only a few days before my due date so nothing concerning. I tried to call his work but his phone went right to voice mail because he was in a meeting. I text him. Still no answer. I waited a half hour the tried again and still couldn't get through. My labor was getting further along. So I called a friend to get a ride to the hospital.
Her husband didn't check his phone until it was too late:
By the time my husband checked his phone at the end of the work day, I had already given birth to our daughter. Everything was very straight forward no complications we were ready to leave by the next morning.
Now, he's upset with her:
My husband is upset with me though. Saying I should have come by his work to tell him it was time. But he has alway's been distant about work. I know what department he works in but not where his office is in the building. It would have been awkward.
ADVERTISING
He says her actions were "unforgivable":
My husband has told me what I did was unforgivable. He hasn't called me an a*****e but has said I am horrible person for denying him the joy of seeing our daughter born.
[Am I the a-hole] for not trying harder to contact him.
She also added more specifics about her texts to him:
Info because a lot are asking. I did text specifically that I was in labor. I left voice mail to the same. I panicked a bit and didn't call his office because he likes to keep work and home separate. Which means I don't know a lot about his work and I was worried I would over share to his coworkers by calling.
She continued:
And him not checking his phone. That is apart of his work home split to. He doesn't deal with anything work related at home but also just put his personal phone out of his mind at work. It is rare for me to get a response from him at all while he is at work on a normal day.
ADVERTISING
The people of Reddit agree that she did all she could.
DenniPenni says:
He expected you, a person in labor, to come to his work to find him, and he had his phone off (instead of silence or wtv) when he very much knew that you were days from your due date??? NTA, your husband is just clueless. He needs to have been better in general about paying attention.
Angeliniana summed it up:
Your husband let you down
He wasn't there for you for the birth of your child and he's making it about him
He has twisted this
BDSM_Queen agrees:
what the hell is his deal? He is emotionally distant and keeps his life private from his wife, but expects you, when you are in labor, to come by his work? Lmaooo
He messed up, and I bet he knows he did. His wife was due for labor any day now. He should have been continuously checking his phone throughout the day. He didn't check it till the end of the day? Come on, now. That is unacceptable.
ADVERTISING
Singstunewoutthewords says:
Your husband sucks. Mama, I am scared for you. The fact that you felt like you couldn't try harder to reach him at his work because of his own weird privacy issues is worrying. That you were in labor but felt like you couldn't exhaust all avenues to get through to another human to physically get your husband to the phone concerns me so much. And I'm so angry on your behalf that he didn't check his phone at all for several hours while you were heavily pregnant.
Cute-Shine-1701 finds his behavior concerning:
If he is like this now with his wife, how will he be with that poor kid? "Oh, no sweetie, daddy loves you, the fact that he is colder than the Antarctica and the cashier at the supermarket lets you in their life more than he does means nothing, you can believe that to mommy."
Privacy is a good thing to some extent, what he is doing is borderline obsessive.
ADVERTISING
Quercusqueen97 points out how odd it is that he keeps his work life so private:
This also sounds kind of weird, he won't even tell you where he works? How much does he keep from you? Sounds like he has serious communication and trust issues
And roboy428 lays out exactly how it should've worked:
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Posted: Tue Sep 14, 2021 2:36 pm
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Giving birth alone sounds like a scary, traumatic experience. But one woman's husband is blaming her for the fact that he didn't answer his phone on the day their child was born.
The woman took to Reddit to ask for advice about whether she should have "tried harder" to tell her husband she was going into labor. Here's the story.
She says her husband is "distant and private":
My husband who I do love and does love me. Is a distant and private person. To everyone. His mom was having health problems and I didn't know until weeks later when I spike to her. I asked him how she was doing later and he said he didn't know. That just how he deal with things. He doesn't want to get to personal with anyone. We share hobbies and can have good conversations as long as they are not to personal. It can be off putting but I do genuinely enjoy his company.
The Art & Science of Museum Conservation
ADVERTISING
Last week, she went into labor while he was at work:
Jump to this last week. I am pregnant and went into labor. It was only a few days before my due date so nothing concerning. I tried to call his work but his phone went right to voice mail because he was in a meeting. I text him. Still no answer. I waited a half hour the tried again and still couldn't get through. My labor was getting further along. So I called a friend to get a ride to the hospital.
Her husband didn't check his phone until it was too late:
By the time my husband checked his phone at the end of the work day, I had already given birth to our daughter. Everything was very straight forward no complications we were ready to leave by the next morning.
Now, he's upset with her:
My husband is upset with me though. Saying I should have come by his work to tell him it was time. But he has alway's been distant about work. I know what department he works in but not where his office is in the building. It would have been awkward.
ADVERTISING
He says her actions were "unforgivable":
My husband has told me what I did was unforgivable. He hasn't called me an a*****e but has said I am horrible person for denying him the joy of seeing our daughter born.
[Am I the a-hole] for not trying harder to contact him.
She also added more specifics about her texts to him:
Info because a lot are asking. I did text specifically that I was in labor. I left voice mail to the same. I panicked a bit and didn't call his office because he likes to keep work and home separate. Which means I don't know a lot about his work and I was worried I would over share to his coworkers by calling.
She continued:
And him not checking his phone. That is apart of his work home split to. He doesn't deal with anything work related at home but also just put his personal phone out of his mind at work. It is rare for me to get a response from him at all while he is at work on a normal day.
ADVERTISING
The people of Reddit agree that she did all she could.
DenniPenni says:
He expected you, a person in labor, to come to his work to find him, and he had his phone off (instead of silence or wtv) when he very much knew that you were days from your due date??? NTA, your husband is just clueless. He needs to have been better in general about paying attention.
Angeliniana summed it up:
Your husband let you down
He wasn't there for you for the birth of your child and he's making it about him
He has twisted this
BDSM_Queen agrees:
what the hell is his deal? He is emotionally distant and keeps his life private from his wife, but expects you, when you are in labor, to come by his work? Lmaooo
He messed up, and I bet he knows he did. His wife was due for labor any day now. He should have been continuously checking his phone throughout the day. He didn't check it till the end of the day? Come on, now. That is unacceptable.
ADVERTISING
Singstunewoutthewords says:
Your husband sucks. Mama, I am scared for you. The fact that you felt like you couldn't try harder to reach him at his work because of his own weird privacy issues is worrying. That you were in labor but felt like you couldn't exhaust all avenues to get through to another human to physically get your husband to the phone concerns me so much. And I'm so angry on your behalf that he didn't check his phone at all for several hours while you were heavily pregnant.
Cute-Shine-1701 finds his behavior concerning:
If he is like this now with his wife, how will he be with that poor kid? "Oh, no sweetie, daddy loves you, the fact that he is colder than the Antarctica and the cashier at the supermarket lets you in their life more than he does means nothing, you can believe that to mommy."
Privacy is a good thing to some extent, what he is doing is borderline obsessive.
ADVERTISING
Quercusqueen97 points out how odd it is that he keeps his work life so private:
This also sounds kind of weird, he won't even tell you where he works? How much does he keep from you? Sounds like he has serious communication and trust issues
And roboy428 lays out exactly how it should've worked:
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Posted: Tue Sep 14, 2021 2:36 pm
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Giving birth alone sounds like a scary, traumatic experience. But one woman's husband is blaming her for the fact that he didn't answer his phone on the day their child was born.
The woman took to Reddit to ask for advice about whether she should have "tried harder" to tell her husband she was going into labor. Here's the story.
She says her husband is "distant and private":
My husband who I do love and does love me. Is a distant and private person. To everyone. His mom was having health problems and I didn't know until weeks later when I spike to her. I asked him how she was doing later and he said he didn't know. That just how he deal with things. He doesn't want to get to personal with anyone. We share hobbies and can have good conversations as long as they are not to personal. It can be off putting but I do genuinely enjoy his company.
The Art & Science of Museum Conservation
ADVERTISING
Last week, she went into labor while he was at work:
Jump to this last week. I am pregnant and went into labor. It was only a few days before my due date so nothing concerning. I tried to call his work but his phone went right to voice mail because he was in a meeting. I text him. Still no answer. I waited a half hour the tried again and still couldn't get through. My labor was getting further along. So I called a friend to get a ride to the hospital.
Her husband didn't check his phone until it was too late:
By the time my husband checked his phone at the end of the work day, I had already given birth to our daughter. Everything was very straight forward no complications we were ready to leave by the next morning.
Now, he's upset with her:
My husband is upset with me though. Saying I should have come by his work to tell him it was time. But he has alway's been distant about work. I know what department he works in but not where his office is in the building. It would have been awkward.
ADVERTISING
He says her actions were "unforgivable":
My husband has told me what I did was unforgivable. He hasn't called me an a*****e but has said I am horrible person for denying him the joy of seeing our daughter born.
[Am I the a-hole] for not trying harder to contact him.
She also added more specifics about her texts to him:
Info because a lot are asking. I did text specifically that I was in labor. I left voice mail to the same. I panicked a bit and didn't call his office because he likes to keep work and home separate. Which means I don't know a lot about his work and I was worried I would over share to his coworkers by calling.
She continued:
And him not checking his phone. That is apart of his work home split to. He doesn't deal with anything work related at home but also just put his personal phone out of his mind at work. It is rare for me to get a response from him at all while he is at work on a normal day.
ADVERTISING
The people of Reddit agree that she did all she could.
DenniPenni says:
He expected you, a person in labor, to come to his work to find him, and he had his phone off (instead of silence or wtv) when he very much knew that you were days from your due date??? NTA, your husband is just clueless. He needs to have been better in general about paying attention.
Angeliniana summed it up:
Your husband let you down
He wasn't there for you for the birth of your child and he's making it about him
He has twisted this
BDSM_Queen agrees:
what the hell is his deal? He is emotionally distant and keeps his life private from his wife, but expects you, when you are in labor, to come by his work? Lmaooo
He messed up, and I bet he knows he did. His wife was due for labor any day now. He should have been continuously checking his phone throughout the day. He didn't check it till the end of the day? Come on, now. That is unacceptable.
ADVERTISING
Singstunewoutthewords says:
Your husband sucks. Mama, I am scared for you. The fact that you felt like you couldn't try harder to reach him at his work because of his own weird privacy issues is worrying. That you were in labor but felt like you couldn't exhaust all avenues to get through to another human to physically get your husband to the phone concerns me so much. And I'm so angry on your behalf that he didn't check his phone at all for several hours while you were heavily pregnant.
Cute-Shine-1701 finds his behavior concerning:
If he is like this now with his wife, how will he be with that poor kid? "Oh, no sweetie, daddy loves you, the fact that he is colder than the Antarctica and the cashier at the supermarket lets you in their life more than he does means nothing, you can believe that to mommy."
Privacy is a good thing to some extent, what he is doing is borderline obsessive.
ADVERTISING
Quercusqueen97 points out how odd it is that he keeps his work life so private:
This also sounds kind of weird, he won't even tell you where he works? How much does he keep from you? Sounds like he has serious communication and trust issues
And roboy428 lays out exactly how it should've worked:
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Posted: Tue Sep 14, 2021 2:36 pm
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Giving birth alone sounds like a scary, traumatic experience. But one woman's husband is blaming her for the fact that he didn't answer his phone on the day their child was born.
The woman took to Reddit to ask for advice about whether she should have "tried harder" to tell her husband she was going into labor. Here's the story.
She says her husband is "distant and private":
My husband who I do love and does love me. Is a distant and private person. To everyone. His mom was having health problems and I didn't know until weeks later when I spike to her. I asked him how she was doing later and he said he didn't know. That just how he deal with things. He doesn't want to get to personal with anyone. We share hobbies and can have good conversations as long as they are not to personal. It can be off putting but I do genuinely enjoy his company.
The Art & Science of Museum Conservation
ADVERTISING
Last week, she went into labor while he was at work:
Jump to this last week. I am pregnant and went into labor. It was only a few days before my due date so nothing concerning. I tried to call his work but his phone went right to voice mail because he was in a meeting. I text him. Still no answer. I waited a half hour the tried again and still couldn't get through. My labor was getting further along. So I called a friend to get a ride to the hospital.
Her husband didn't check his phone until it was too late:
By the time my husband checked his phone at the end of the work day, I had already given birth to our daughter. Everything was very straight forward no complications we were ready to leave by the next morning.
Now, he's upset with her:
My husband is upset with me though. Saying I should have come by his work to tell him it was time. But he has alway's been distant about work. I know what department he works in but not where his office is in the building. It would have been awkward.
ADVERTISING
He says her actions were "unforgivable":
My husband has told me what I did was unforgivable. He hasn't called me an a*****e but has said I am horrible person for denying him the joy of seeing our daughter born.
[Am I the a-hole] for not trying harder to contact him.
She also added more specifics about her texts to him:
Info because a lot are asking. I did text specifically that I was in labor. I left voice mail to the same. I panicked a bit and didn't call his office because he likes to keep work and home separate. Which means I don't know a lot about his work and I was worried I would over share to his coworkers by calling.
She continued:
And him not checking his phone. That is apart of his work home split to. He doesn't deal with anything work related at home but also just put his personal phone out of his mind at work. It is rare for me to get a response from him at all while he is at work on a normal day.
ADVERTISING
The people of Reddit agree that she did all she could.
DenniPenni says:
He expected you, a person in labor, to come to his work to find him, and he had his phone off (instead of silence or wtv) when he very much knew that you were days from your due date??? NTA, your husband is just clueless. He needs to have been better in general about paying attention.
Angeliniana summed it up:
Your husband let you down
He wasn't there for you for the birth of your child and he's making it about him
He has twisted this
BDSM_Queen agrees:
what the hell is his deal? He is emotionally distant and keeps his life private from his wife, but expects you, when you are in labor, to come by his work? Lmaooo
He messed up, and I bet he knows he did. His wife was due for labor any day now. He should have been continuously checking his phone throughout the day. He didn't check it till the end of the day? Come on, now. That is unacceptable.
ADVERTISING
Singstunewoutthewords says:
Your husband sucks. Mama, I am scared for you. The fact that you felt like you couldn't try harder to reach him at his work because of his own weird privacy issues is worrying. That you were in labor but felt like you couldn't exhaust all avenues to get through to another human to physically get your husband to the phone concerns me so much. And I'm so angry on your behalf that he didn't check his phone at all for several hours while you were heavily pregnant.
Cute-Shine-1701 finds his behavior concerning:
If he is like this now with his wife, how will he be with that poor kid? "Oh, no sweetie, daddy loves you, the fact that he is colder than the Antarctica and the cashier at the supermarket lets you in their life more than he does means nothing, you can believe that to mommy."
Privacy is a good thing to some extent, what he is doing is borderline obsessive.
ADVERTISING
Quercusqueen97 points out how odd it is that he keeps his work life so private:
This also sounds kind of weird, he won't even tell you where he works? How much does he keep from you? Sounds like he has serious communication and trust issues
And roboy428 lays out exactly how it should've worked:
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Posted: Tue Sep 14, 2021 2:36 pm
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Giving birth alone sounds like a scary, traumatic experience. But one woman's husband is blaming her for the fact that he didn't answer his phone on the day their child was born.
The woman took to Reddit to ask for advice about whether she should have "tried harder" to tell her husband she was going into labor. Here's the story.
She says her husband is "distant and private":
My husband who I do love and does love me. Is a distant and private person. To everyone. His mom was having health problems and I didn't know until weeks later when I spike to her. I asked him how she was doing later and he said he didn't know. That just how he deal with things. He doesn't want to get to personal with anyone. We share hobbies and can have good conversations as long as they are not to personal. It can be off putting but I do genuinely enjoy his company.
The Art & Science of Museum Conservation
ADVERTISING
Last week, she went into labor while he was at work:
Jump to this last week. I am pregnant and went into labor. It was only a few days before my due date so nothing concerning. I tried to call his work but his phone went right to voice mail because he was in a meeting. I text him. Still no answer. I waited a half hour the tried again and still couldn't get through. My labor was getting further along. So I called a friend to get a ride to the hospital.
Her husband didn't check his phone until it was too late:
By the time my husband checked his phone at the end of the work day, I had already given birth to our daughter. Everything was very straight forward no complications we were ready to leave by the next morning.
Now, he's upset with her:
My husband is upset with me though. Saying I should have come by his work to tell him it was time. But he has alway's been distant about work. I know what department he works in but not where his office is in the building. It would have been awkward.
ADVERTISING
He says her actions were "unforgivable":
My husband has told me what I did was unforgivable. He hasn't called me an a*****e but has said I am horrible person for denying him the joy of seeing our daughter born.
[Am I the a-hole] for not trying harder to contact him.
She also added more specifics about her texts to him:
Info because a lot are asking. I did text specifically that I was in labor. I left voice mail to the same. I panicked a bit and didn't call his office because he likes to keep work and home separate. Which means I don't know a lot about his work and I was worried I would over share to his coworkers by calling.
She continued:
And him not checking his phone. That is apart of his work home split to. He doesn't deal with anything work related at home but also just put his personal phone out of his mind at work. It is rare for me to get a response from him at all while he is at work on a normal day.
ADVERTISING
The people of Reddit agree that she did all she could.
DenniPenni says:
He expected you, a person in labor, to come to his work to find him, and he had his phone off (instead of silence or wtv) when he very much knew that you were days from your due date??? NTA, your husband is just clueless. He needs to have been better in general about paying attention.
Angeliniana summed it up:
Your husband let you down
He wasn't there for you for the birth of your child and he's making it about him
He has twisted this
BDSM_Queen agrees:
what the hell is his deal? He is emotionally distant and keeps his life private from his wife, but expects you, when you are in labor, to come by his work? Lmaooo
He messed up, and I bet he knows he did. His wife was due for labor any day now. He should have been continuously checking his phone throughout the day. He didn't check it till the end of the day? Come on, now. That is unacceptable.
ADVERTISING
Singstunewoutthewords says:
Your husband sucks. Mama, I am scared for you. The fact that you felt like you couldn't try harder to reach him at his work because of his own weird privacy issues is worrying. That you were in labor but felt like you couldn't exhaust all avenues to get through to another human to physically get your husband to the phone concerns me so much. And I'm so angry on your behalf that he didn't check his phone at all for several hours while you were heavily pregnant.
Cute-Shine-1701 finds his behavior concerning:
If he is like this now with his wife, how will he be with that poor kid? "Oh, no sweetie, daddy loves you, the fact that he is colder than the Antarctica and the cashier at the supermarket lets you in their life more than he does means nothing, you can believe that to mommy."
Privacy is a good thing to some extent, what he is doing is borderline obsessive.
ADVERTISING
Quercusqueen97 points out how odd it is that he keeps his work life so private:
This also sounds kind of weird, he won't even tell you where he works? How much does he keep from you? Sounds like he has serious communication and trust issues
And roboy428 lays out exactly how it should've worked:
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Posted: Tue Sep 14, 2021 2:41 pm
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Posted: Tue Sep 14, 2021 2:41 pm
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Giving birth alone sounds like a scary, traumatic experience. But one woman's husband is blaming her for the fact that he didn't answer his phone on the day their child was born.
The woman took to Reddit to ask for advice about whether she should have "tried harder" to tell her husband she was going into labor. Here's the story.
She says her husband is "distant and private":
My husband who I do love and does love me. Is a distant and private person. To everyone. His mom was having health problems and I didn't know until weeks later when I spike to her. I asked him how she was doing later and he said he didn't know. That just how he deal with things. He doesn't want to get to personal with anyone. We share hobbies and can have good conversations as long as they are not to personal. It can be off putting but I do genuinely enjoy his company.
The Art & Science of Museum Conservation
ADVERTISING
Last week, she went into labor while he was at work:
Jump to this last week. I am pregnant and went into labor. It was only a few days before my due date so nothing concerning. I tried to call his work but his phone went right to voice mail because he was in a meeting. I text him. Still no answer. I waited a half hour the tried again and still couldn't get through. My labor was getting further along. So I called a friend to get a ride to the hospital.
Her husband didn't check his phone until it was too late:
By the time my husband checked his phone at the end of the work day, I had already given birth to our daughter. Everything was very straight forward no complications we were ready to leave by the next morning.
Now, he's upset with her:
My husband is upset with me though. Saying I should have come by his work to tell him it was time. But he has alway's been distant about work. I know what department he works in but not where his office is in the building. It would have been awkward.
ADVERTISING
He says her actions were "unforgivable":
My husband has told me what I did was unforgivable. He hasn't called me an a*****e but has said I am horrible person for denying him the joy of seeing our daughter born.
[Am I the a-hole] for not trying harder to contact him.
She also added more specifics about her texts to him:
Info because a lot are asking. I did text specifically that I was in labor. I left voice mail to the same. I panicked a bit and didn't call his office because he likes to keep work and home separate. Which means I don't know a lot about his work and I was worried I would over share to his coworkers by calling.
She continued:
And him not checking his phone. That is apart of his work home split to. He doesn't deal with anything work related at home but also just put his personal phone out of his mind at work. It is rare for me to get a response from him at all while he is at work on a normal day.
ADVERTISING
The people of Reddit agree that she did all she could.
DenniPenni says:
He expected you, a person in labor, to come to his work to find him, and he had his phone off (instead of silence or wtv) when he very much knew that you were days from your due date??? NTA, your husband is just clueless. He needs to have been better in general about paying attention.
Angeliniana summed it up:
Your husband let you down
He wasn't there for you for the birth of your child and he's making it about him
He has twisted this
BDSM_Queen agrees:
what the hell is his deal? He is emotionally distant and keeps his life private from his wife, but expects you, when you are in labor, to come by his work? Lmaooo
He messed up, and I bet he knows he did. His wife was due for labor any day now. He should have been continuously checking his phone throughout the day. He didn't check it till the end of the day? Come on, now. That is unacceptable.
ADVERTISING
Singstunewoutthewords says:
Your husband sucks. Mama, I am scared for you. The fact that you felt like you couldn't try harder to reach him at his work because of his own weird privacy issues is worrying. That you were in labor but felt like you couldn't exhaust all avenues to get through to another human to physically get your husband to the phone concerns me so much. And I'm so angry on your behalf that he didn't check his phone at all for several hours while you were heavily pregnant.
Cute-Shine-1701 finds his behavior concerning:
If he is like this now with his wife, how will he be with that poor kid? "Oh, no sweetie, daddy loves you, the fact that he is colder than the Antarctica and the cashier at the supermarket lets you in their life more than he does means nothing, you can believe that to mommy."
Privacy is a good thing to some extent, what he is doing is borderline obsessive.
ADVERTISING
Quercusqueen97 points out how odd it is that he keeps his work life so private:
This also sounds kind of weird, he won't even tell you where he works? How much does he keep from you? Sounds like he has serious communication and trust issues
And roboy428 lays out exactly how it should've worked:
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Posted: Tue Sep 14, 2021 2:41 pm
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Giving birth alone sounds like a scary, traumatic experience. But one woman's husband is blaming her for the fact that he didn't answer his phone on the day their child was born.
The woman took to Reddit to ask for advice about whether she should have "tried harder" to tell her husband she was going into labor. Here's the story.
She says her husband is "distant and private":
My husband who I do love and does love me. Is a distant and private person. To everyone. His mom was having health problems and I didn't know until weeks later when I spike to her. I asked him how she was doing later and he said he didn't know. That just how he deal with things. He doesn't want to get to personal with anyone. We share hobbies and can have good conversations as long as they are not to personal. It can be off putting but I do genuinely enjoy his company.
The Art & Science of Museum Conservation
ADVERTISING
Last week, she went into labor while he was at work:
Jump to this last week. I am pregnant and went into labor. It was only a few days before my due date so nothing concerning. I tried to call his work but his phone went right to voice mail because he was in a meeting. I text him. Still no answer. I waited a half hour the tried again and still couldn't get through. My labor was getting further along. So I called a friend to get a ride to the hospital.
Her husband didn't check his phone until it was too late:
By the time my husband checked his phone at the end of the work day, I had already given birth to our daughter. Everything was very straight forward no complications we were ready to leave by the next morning.
Now, he's upset with her:
My husband is upset with me though. Saying I should have come by his work to tell him it was time. But he has alway's been distant about work. I know what department he works in but not where his office is in the building. It would have been awkward.
ADVERTISING
He says her actions were "unforgivable":
My husband has told me what I did was unforgivable. He hasn't called me an a*****e but has said I am horrible person for denying him the joy of seeing our daughter born.
[Am I the a-hole] for not trying harder to contact him.
She also added more specifics about her texts to him:
Info because a lot are asking. I did text specifically that I was in labor. I left voice mail to the same. I panicked a bit and didn't call his office because he likes to keep work and home separate. Which means I don't know a lot about his work and I was worried I would over share to his coworkers by calling.
She continued:
And him not checking his phone. That is apart of his work home split to. He doesn't deal with anything work related at home but also just put his personal phone out of his mind at work. It is rare for me to get a response from him at all while he is at work on a normal day.
ADVERTISING
The people of Reddit agree that she did all she could.
DenniPenni says:
He expected you, a person in labor, to come to his work to find him, and he had his phone off (instead of silence or wtv) when he very much knew that you were days from your due date??? NTA, your husband is just clueless. He needs to have been better in general about paying attention.
Angeliniana summed it up:
Your husband let you down
He wasn't there for you for the birth of your child and he's making it about him
He has twisted this
BDSM_Queen agrees:
what the hell is his deal? He is emotionally distant and keeps his life private from his wife, but expects you, when you are in labor, to come by his work? Lmaooo
He messed up, and I bet he knows he did. His wife was due for labor any day now. He should have been continuously checking his phone throughout the day. He didn't check it till the end of the day? Come on, now. That is unacceptable.
ADVERTISING
Singstunewoutthewords says:
Your husband sucks. Mama, I am scared for you. The fact that you felt like you couldn't try harder to reach him at his work because of his own weird privacy issues is worrying. That you were in labor but felt like you couldn't exhaust all avenues to get through to another human to physically get your husband to the phone concerns me so much. And I'm so angry on your behalf that he didn't check his phone at all for several hours while you were heavily pregnant.
Cute-Shine-1701 finds his behavior concerning:
If he is like this now with his wife, how will he be with that poor kid? "Oh, no sweetie, daddy loves you, the fact that he is colder than the Antarctica and the cashier at the supermarket lets you in their life more than he does means nothing, you can believe that to mommy."
Privacy is a good thing to some extent, what he is doing is borderline obsessive.
ADVERTISING
Quercusqueen97 points out how odd it is that he keeps his work life so private:
This also sounds kind of weird, he won't even tell you where he works? How much does he keep from you? Sounds like he has serious communication and trust issues
And roboy428 lays out exactly how it should've worked:
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Posted: Tue Sep 14, 2021 2:43 pm
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Giving birth alone sounds like a scary, traumatic experience. But one woman's husband is blaming her for the fact that he didn't answer his phone on the day their child was born.
The woman took to Reddit to ask for advice about whether she should have "tried harder" to tell her husband she was going into labor. Here's the story.
She says her husband is "distant and private":
My husband who I do love and does love me. Is a distant and private person. To everyone. His mom was having health problems and I didn't know until weeks later when I spike to her. I asked him how she was doing later and he said he didn't know. That just how he deal with things. He doesn't want to get to personal with anyone. We share hobbies and can have good conversations as long as they are not to personal. It can be off putting but I do genuinely enjoy his company.
The Art & Science of Museum Conservation
ADVERTISING
Last week, she went into labor while he was at work:
Jump to this last week. I am pregnant and went into labor. It was only a few days before my due date so nothing concerning. I tried to call his work but his phone went right to voice mail because he was in a meeting. I text him. Still no answer. I waited a half hour the tried again and still couldn't get through. My labor was getting further along. So I called a friend to get a ride to the hospital.
Her husband didn't check his phone until it was too late:
By the time my husband checked his phone at the end of the work day, I had already given birth to our daughter. Everything was very straight forward no complications we were ready to leave by the next morning.
Now, he's upset with her:
My husband is upset with me though. Saying I should have come by his work to tell him it was time. But he has alway's been distant about work. I know what department he works in but not where his office is in the building. It would have been awkward.
ADVERTISING
He says her actions were "unforgivable":
My husband has told me what I did was unforgivable. He hasn't called me an a*****e but has said I am horrible person for denying him the joy of seeing our daughter born.
[Am I the a-hole] for not trying harder to contact him.
She also added more specifics about her texts to him:
Info because a lot are asking. I did text specifically that I was in labor. I left voice mail to the same. I panicked a bit and didn't call his office because he likes to keep work and home separate. Which means I don't know a lot about his work and I was worried I would over share to his coworkers by calling.
She continued:
And him not checking his phone. That is apart of his work home split to. He doesn't deal with anything work related at home but also just put his personal phone out of his mind at work. It is rare for me to get a response from him at all while he is at work on a normal day.
ADVERTISING
The people of Reddit agree that she did all she could.
DenniPenni says:
He expected you, a person in labor, to come to his work to find him, and he had his phone off (instead of silence or wtv) when he very much knew that you were days from your due date??? NTA, your husband is just clueless. He needs to have been better in general about paying attention.
Angeliniana summed it up:
Your husband let you down
He wasn't there for you for the birth of your child and he's making it about him
He has twisted this
BDSM_Queen agrees:
what the hell is his deal? He is emotionally distant and keeps his life private from his wife, but expects you, when you are in labor, to come by his work? Lmaooo
He messed up, and I bet he knows he did. His wife was due for labor any day now. He should have been continuously checking his phone throughout the day. He didn't check it till the end of the day? Come on, now. That is unacceptable.
ADVERTISING
Singstunewoutthewords says:
Your husband sucks. Mama, I am scared for you. The fact that you felt like you couldn't try harder to reach him at his work because of his own weird privacy issues is worrying. That you were in labor but felt like you couldn't exhaust all avenues to get through to another human to physically get your husband to the phone concerns me so much. And I'm so angry on your behalf that he didn't check his phone at all for several hours while you were heavily pregnant.
Cute-Shine-1701 finds his behavior concerning:
If he is like this now with his wife, how will he be with that poor kid? "Oh, no sweetie, daddy loves you, the fact that he is colder than the Antarctica and the cashier at the supermarket lets you in their life more than he does means nothing, you can believe that to mommy."
Privacy is a good thing to some extent, what he is doing is borderline obsessive.
ADVERTISING
Quercusqueen97 points out how odd it is that he keeps his work life so private:
This also sounds kind of weird, he won't even tell you where he works? How much does he keep from you? Sounds like he has serious communication and trust issues
And roboy428 lays out exactly how it should've worked:
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Posted: Tue Sep 14, 2021 2:43 pm
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Giving birth alone sounds like a scary, traumatic experience. But one woman's husband is blaming her for the fact that he didn't answer his phone on the day their child was born.
The woman took to Reddit to ask for advice about whether she should have "tried harder" to tell her husband she was going into labor. Here's the story.
She says her husband is "distant and private":
My husband who I do love and does love me. Is a distant and private person. To everyone. His mom was having health problems and I didn't know until weeks later when I spike to her. I asked him how she was doing later and he said he didn't know. That just how he deal with things. He doesn't want to get to personal with anyone. We share hobbies and can have good conversations as long as they are not to personal. It can be off putting but I do genuinely enjoy his company.
The Art & Science of Museum Conservation
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Last week, she went into labor while he was at work:
Jump to this last week. I am pregnant and went into labor. It was only a few days before my due date so nothing concerning. I tried to call his work but his phone went right to voice mail because he was in a meeting. I text him. Still no answer. I waited a half hour the tried again and still couldn't get through. My labor was getting further along. So I called a friend to get a ride to the hospital.
Her husband didn't check his phone until it was too late:
By the time my husband checked his phone at the end of the work day, I had already given birth to our daughter. Everything was very straight forward no complications we were ready to leave by the next morning.
Now, he's upset with her:
My husband is upset with me though. Saying I should have come by his work to tell him it was time. But he has alway's been distant about work. I know what department he works in but not where his office is in the building. It would have been awkward.
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He says her actions were "unforgivable":
My husband has told me what I did was unforgivable. He hasn't called me an a*****e but has said I am horrible person for denying him the joy of seeing our daughter born.
[Am I the a-hole] for not trying harder to contact him.
She also added more specifics about her texts to him:
Info because a lot are asking. I did text specifically that I was in labor. I left voice mail to the same. I panicked a bit and didn't call his office because he likes to keep work and home separate. Which means I don't know a lot about his work and I was worried I would over share to his coworkers by calling.
She continued:
And him not checking his phone. That is apart of his work home split to. He doesn't deal with anything work related at home but also just put his personal phone out of his mind at work. It is rare for me to get a response from him at all while he is at work on a normal day.
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The people of Reddit agree that she did all she could.
DenniPenni says:
He expected you, a person in labor, to come to his work to find him, and he had his phone off (instead of silence or wtv) when he very much knew that you were days from your due date??? NTA, your husband is just clueless. He needs to have been better in general about paying attention.
Angeliniana summed it up:
Your husband let you down
He wasn't there for you for the birth of your child and he's making it about him
He has twisted this
BDSM_Queen agrees:
what the hell is his deal? He is emotionally distant and keeps his life private from his wife, but expects you, when you are in labor, to come by his work? Lmaooo
He messed up, and I bet he knows he did. His wife was due for labor any day now. He should have been continuously checking his phone throughout the day. He didn't check it till the end of the day? Come on, now. That is unacceptable.
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Singstunewoutthewords says:
Your husband sucks. Mama, I am scared for you. The fact that you felt like you couldn't try harder to reach him at his work because of his own weird privacy issues is worrying. That you were in labor but felt like you couldn't exhaust all avenues to get through to another human to physically get your husband to the phone concerns me so much. And I'm so angry on your behalf that he didn't check his phone at all for several hours while you were heavily pregnant.
Cute-Shine-1701 finds his behavior concerning:
If he is like this now with his wife, how will he be with that poor kid? "Oh, no sweetie, daddy loves you, the fact that he is colder than the Antarctica and the cashier at the supermarket lets you in their life more than he does means nothing, you can believe that to mommy."
Privacy is a good thing to some extent, what he is doing is borderline obsessive.
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Quercusqueen97 points out how odd it is that he keeps his work life so private:
This also sounds kind of weird, he won't even tell you where he works? How much does he keep from you? Sounds like he has serious communication and trust issues
And roboy428 lays out exactly how it should've worked:
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Posted: Tue Sep 14, 2021 2:43 pm
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Giving birth alone sounds like a scary, traumatic experience. But one woman's husband is blaming her for the fact that he didn't answer his phone on the day their child was born.
The woman took to Reddit to ask for advice about whether she should have "tried harder" to tell her husband she was going into labor. Here's the story.
She says her husband is "distant and private":
My husband who I do love and does love me. Is a distant and private person. To everyone. His mom was having health problems and I didn't know until weeks later when I spike to her. I asked him how she was doing later and he said he didn't know. That just how he deal with things. He doesn't want to get to personal with anyone. We share hobbies and can have good conversations as long as they are not to personal. It can be off putting but I do genuinely enjoy his company.
The Art & Science of Museum Conservation
ADVERTISING
Last week, she went into labor while he was at work:
Jump to this last week. I am pregnant and went into labor. It was only a few days before my due date so nothing concerning. I tried to call his work but his phone went right to voice mail because he was in a meeting. I text him. Still no answer. I waited a half hour the tried again and still couldn't get through. My labor was getting further along. So I called a friend to get a ride to the hospital.
Her husband didn't check his phone until it was too late:
By the time my husband checked his phone at the end of the work day, I had already given birth to our daughter. Everything was very straight forward no complications we were ready to leave by the next morning.
Now, he's upset with her:
My husband is upset with me though. Saying I should have come by his work to tell him it was time. But he has alway's been distant about work. I know what department he works in but not where his office is in the building. It would have been awkward.
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He says her actions were "unforgivable":
My husband has told me what I did was unforgivable. He hasn't called me an a*****e but has said I am horrible person for denying him the joy of seeing our daughter born.
[Am I the a-hole] for not trying harder to contact him.
She also added more specifics about her texts to him:
Info because a lot are asking. I did text specifically that I was in labor. I left voice mail to the same. I panicked a bit and didn't call his office because he likes to keep work and home separate. Which means I don't know a lot about his work and I was worried I would over share to his coworkers by calling.
She continued:
And him not checking his phone. That is apart of his work home split to. He doesn't deal with anything work related at home but also just put his personal phone out of his mind at work. It is rare for me to get a response from him at all while he is at work on a normal day.
ADVERTISING
The people of Reddit agree that she did all she could.
DenniPenni says:
He expected you, a person in labor, to come to his work to find him, and he had his phone off (instead of silence or wtv) when he very much knew that you were days from your due date??? NTA, your husband is just clueless. He needs to have been better in general about paying attention.
Angeliniana summed it up:
Your husband let you down
He wasn't there for you for the birth of your child and he's making it about him
He has twisted this
BDSM_Queen agrees:
what the hell is his deal? He is emotionally distant and keeps his life private from his wife, but expects you, when you are in labor, to come by his work? Lmaooo
He messed up, and I bet he knows he did. His wife was due for labor any day now. He should have been continuously checking his phone throughout the day. He didn't check it till the end of the day? Come on, now. That is unacceptable.
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Singstunewoutthewords says:
Your husband sucks. Mama, I am scared for you. The fact that you felt like you couldn't try harder to reach him at his work because of his own weird privacy issues is worrying. That you were in labor but felt like you couldn't exhaust all avenues to get through to another human to physically get your husband to the phone concerns me so much. And I'm so angry on your behalf that he didn't check his phone at all for several hours while you were heavily pregnant.
Cute-Shine-1701 finds his behavior concerning:
If he is like this now with his wife, how will he be with that poor kid? "Oh, no sweetie, daddy loves you, the fact that he is colder than the Antarctica and the cashier at the supermarket lets you in their life more than he does means nothing, you can believe that to mommy."
Privacy is a good thing to some extent, what he is doing is borderline obsessive.
ADVERTISING
Quercusqueen97 points out how odd it is that he keeps his work life so private:
This also sounds kind of weird, he won't even tell you where he works? How much does he keep from you? Sounds like he has serious communication and trust issues
And roboy428 lays out exactly how it should've worked:
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