I'm Very Depressed Lately...

[TashiaGirl]

oooh ya got me feeling all bad!! OK, ya ya I no I guess I will... XP  

[TashiaGirl]

OK, question. If the form is called 'I have to go to cort' then why do people think its about BOY trouble?!  

[TashiaGirl]

Thanks for the only TWO fing people who helped me at the last post, I have to go to court. Anyway, There is a newer, larger problem. (Oh and thanks for the advice everyone. I went to court and now their facing 10 to 30. YESS! scream FINNALLY!)
Well... I can't take life anymore. Remember the Nick problem? Well, I can't stand seeing him with Jenna. To make matters worse, my long time friend just told me he likes me. Well... It wasn't the right thing to do, but I told him I liked him back. Then I had a weird dream the other day, where I was hanging aroud with Nick, like we did when we were little. Reliving memories and stuff. Well... I woke up and realized I still liked him. But I don't want to hurt the other boy's feelings and yet... He is so nice to me. He really loves me. But I don't love him.
Well thats where the depression begins. Then there is the fact that my friend is being abused. But she won't tell anyone about it. I reported her to this thing at our school that takes care fo kids who think of running away, or sucide. But she is not being truthful with them. She's lying and saying that it was a joke and they had the wrong girl, I ment her sister. Then my other friend recently turned emo. She won't talk to us. She took 'a vow of silence' and hasn't said anything in about 3 days. Then my other friend is being bullied. Seriously, this bully has punched her, told her crush that she hated him, and all this other stuff. I wasn't supost to know she was supost to keep it a secret but I saw her being bullied in the hall.
Then there are my grades. They've gone down. I used to get all A's. Now I've dropped to B's and C's. Math is a high D. My mom just shakes her head at me, and my new religion I recently adopted isn't helping with the fam.
My cousin has gone into drugs. She got a job as a striper. I'm scared for her, and my other cousin just got devorced. Her husband devorced her, she is still in love with him even though he was having an affair.
My life is basicly falling apart before me. And I'm coming apart at the seams. -.- What should I do? I've started cutting myself. I have thoughts of sucide and my dreams contain nightmares. I wake up sweaty and scared. I want to run away, forget it all. My friends don't even notice my depression. It's like I'm invisble. I started writing depressing songs and poetry. They don't even notice my feelings crying out when they read my work.
I feel... Forgotten. Left out. My heart is broken in two. Its just as bad as broken limbs. Why can't my life be better? But no, my sobs go unheard at night even though I cry out with my soul for someone to hear... But so far, no one has.  

[TashiaGirl]

Thanks for the help everyone! REALLY HELPED! *rolls eyes*  

[shani26]

I really want to help you but you have to much problems. i don't know where to begin. Mybe you should make a list of all your problem and rate them in a way that would help me understand which is the most important. Then i would know from where to start and help you with advices.  

[TashiaGirl]

... Awe, just tell me how to get out of depression!! DON'T FOCUS ON EACH DIFFRENT PROBLEM, JUST TELL ME HOW TO END IT!! THATS ALL I WANT!! TO END IT!!  

[DvnT]

start off by finding something that makes you feel better. even just for 5 minutes. and start doing it as much as possible. it really has helped me.

then work on each problem individually. possibly find a religion that gives you hope (you had said yours didnt work or something?).

thats what i did. i found that anything that kept my whole head busy works. like math, reading, icescating, and working on others problems work the best for me. find some for yourself....

hope that helps!  

[TashiaGirl]

Thanks. I guess I'll just keep playing in my cuz band. That always makes me feel better. And my religion its fine. Its just I come from a family of Christans, and I'm a Wiccen so I feel distante from them. Plus my aunt and uncle always nawing on me about it. Seriously, I feel like they hate me because of our religious conflict! DAGGERS COMING FROM THEIR EYESS!