-The Past is History-

[Digital Fiend]

So, not sure how to start this out. I hope it's not insulting {I seem to do a lot of that}, but I don't think I've ever wished to randomly meet someone I met online irl.

I swear I'm not a creep, but I wish I could meet you and tell you that you're beautiful. I hope and pray that you find a job so you can start to climb out of this hole. There are several people out there that can make you happy and you have the right to pursuit happiness.

I understand feeling stuck. I've been unemployed for a couple of years, and I feel like no one wants to hire me. Now that there are jobs that are opening up again, no one definitely will since I'm 34 weeks pregnant. Hopefully I'll find seasonal work around Nov. Dec.

Best of luck in your job search when you get to do that. Have you been able to work out any kind of resume?  

[The_9th_Doctors_Rose]

Digital Fiend

So, not sure how to start this out. I hope it's not insulting {I seem to do a lot of that}, but I don't think I've ever wished to randomly meet someone I met online irl.

I swear I'm not a creep, but I wish I could meet you and tell you that you're beautiful. I hope and pray that you find a job so you can start to climb out of this hole. There are several people out there that can make you happy and you have the right to pursuit happiness.

I understand feeling stuck. I've been unemployed for a couple of years, and I feel like no one wants to hire me. Now that there are jobs that are opening up again, no one definitely will since I'm 34 weeks pregnant. Hopefully I'll find seasonal work around Nov. Dec.

Best of luck in your job search when you get to do that. Have you been able to work out any kind of resume?

Oh wow thank you so much. That's one of the sweetest things anybody has ever said to me. emotion_bigheart emotion_hug I'm not offended at all. You just made my day.

I hope you mange to get a job. Good Luck with that and with your baby. emotion_bigheart

Thanks...erm no not really I haven't got a clue how to write a proper resume. gonk  

[The_9th_Doctors_Rose]

08/12/2012

I've figured out that the songs from Labyrinth describe how I feel...well I've known...but I just want to post them...cause I feel like it...

----------------------------------------
To Robert:

How you've turned my world, you precious thing
You starve and near exhaust me
Everything I've done, I've done for you
I move the stars for no one
You've run so long
You've run so far
Your eyes can be so cruel
Just as I can be so cruel
Though I do believe in you
Yes I do
Live without the sunlight
Love without your heartbeat
I, I can't live within you
I can't live within you
I, I can't live within you
----------------------------------------

The kind of love I want (I want someone to sing this to me, and mean it) :

There's such a sad love
Deep in your eyes.
A kind of pale jewel open and closed within your eyes.
I'll place the sky within your eyes.

There's such a fooled heart
Beating so fast in search of new dreams.
A love that will last within your heart.
I'll place the moon within your heart.

As the pain sweeps through, makes no sense for you.
Every thrill has gone.
Wasn't too much fun at all, but I'll be there for you-ou-ou
As the world falls down.

Falling.
As the world's falling down.
Falling in love.

7I'll paint you mornings of gold.
I'll spin you Valentine evenings.
Though we're strangers 'til now, we're choosing the path between the stars.
I'll lay my love between the stars.

As the pain sweeps through, makes no sense for you.
Every thrill has gone.
Wasn't too much fun at all, but I'll be there for you-ou-ou
As the world falls down.

----------------------------------------------------


I'm strange.... gonk

On another note...I wish Halloween didn't exist...I can't stand it...it wouldn't be so bad if it was just one night but everyone talks about it for months in advance crying ... I just want to crawl in a hole and hide... crying




 

[The_9th_Doctors_Rose]

Ugh, Robert's grandmother is showing her a** again. She took dad and Blissy to where we are supposed to move to fill out paperwork but she wouldn't let me go because when we went to Chicago (the only time I've gotten to go when she went too out of like 5 billion) in her van I reclined her seats...wtf they are MEANT to do that...if they weren't the handles wouldn't be there...she says I broke her van and I DID NOT those seats still work perfectly fine... she is just a grouchy old lady who has to have someone to pick on to make her feel better.

Years ago when Robert was cheating on me with another woman (a married woman), driving MY car around without a license she accused me if cheating on him with our friend Dave...first of all Dave is bald and old and just no, ew, NEVER GOING TO HAPPEN! Second of all ROBERT was cheating on ME and she had the nerve to call me a whore and all sorts of other horrible names...

Then s**t hit the fan bc Robert got arrested for driving without a license...she blamed ME because "he was driving your car...you should have taken the keys from him blah blah blah"... What? Does she think I LIKED him running around in my car with another woman? If I had of taken them he would've just yelled at me till I gave them back...hell back then he was a different person, he may have even hit me to get them back - who can say now?

Anyway so we were living in a trailer that she owned...she shows up and I'm in my pajamas...I haven't showered and I haven't got a bra on...she tells me I can't get any extra clothes or anything because there is no time...so I go with her and ask her what's going on...she tells me I will see...by the time we turned to go to the police station I was freaking out bc the hospital is down the same road and I thought maybe Robert had a wreck and was in the hospital or something....We get there and she tells me he got arrested and its all my fault...on the way back to the trailer she calls me all sorts of names and tells me to get my stuff and leave.... long story short Robert stood up for me to her which was amazingly odd and his dad told her if I had to leave they were all leaving...and that's how we wound up living back here in my house...basically

Oh and the other woman...I texted her and told her Robert was arrested...her response? Will he still be able to take me to work? When I told her no bc the car was impounded she asked when she could get her stuff...I told her I didn't know or care and she never said anything back...she was only with him so he could take her places bc her car was broke down...he outlived his usefulness so she dropped him like a hot potato...


Ah, stories from my past...I've got a ton more if you guys want to hear them..


Now that I'm done venting I'm gonna go...

 

[Isis Sister Of Osiris]

emotion_hug emotion_bigheart emotion_hug emotion_bigheart emotion_hug emotion_bigheart emotion_hug emotion_bigheart emotion_hug

Oh sweetie, you need a hardcore banishing spell to get all those psychological vampires out of your life. You're too good a person to have to put up with all that BS.  

[Digital Fiend]

Exactly what Gigi said.

About Resumes - Have you ever worked? I know you said you haven't had a job in awhile, so I figured I would ask. The type of resume I made {I took classes at the workforce one, since it's free} is called a combination resume. There are several templates you can find on google.

At least with her taking just them, you have a little more privacy, yes? No? I'm not sure how far away you live from Chicago. The only thing I know about that place is that truck drivers hate delivering there.  

[Digital Fiend]

Also, curious, what do you hate about Halloween?  

[The_9th_Doctors_Rose]

Gigi Deveraux

emotion_hug emotion_bigheart emotion_hug emotion_bigheart emotion_hug emotion_bigheart emotion_hug emotion_bigheart emotion_hug

Oh sweetie, you need a hardcore banishing spell to get all those psychological vampires out of your life. You're too good a person to have to put up with all that BS.

Digital Fiend

Exactly what Gigi said.

About Resumes - Have you ever worked? I know you said you haven't had a job in awhile, so I figured I would ask. The type of resume I made {I took classes at the workforce one, since it's free} is called a combination resume. There are several templates you can find on google.

At least with her taking just them, you have a little more privacy, yes? No? I'm not sure how far away you live from Chicago. The only thing I know about that place is that truck drivers hate delivering there.

Also, curious, what do you hate about Halloween?

Oh yea I know. They are all very draining when you combine them gonk .

Its hard to change things when they are all you've known...I don't really have any family left IRL bc they fought me for my mom's stuff when she died and I told them to ******** off...

Yea I've had a couple of jobs...

I worked at Save-A-Lot from around November 2005 - February 2006 as a cashier...

I worked at Impact Centers Inc from about October 2006 - January 2008... I cared for mentally disabled adults, cooked, cleaned, gave them their medication...I put in a two week notice...I've tried to get a job there again but they won't hire me back for some reason...probably bc Robert wrecked my car with no insurance and we both lost our license so I have a reinstatement for financial responsibility and they require you to have a clean driving record.

I worked at McDonalds in July of 2008...I lasted a whole three days gonk

And I worked at Vector Marketing in February 2011 for about two weeks I would say...I just couldn't find enough sales leads to match their criteria...I don't really know that many people and they don't give you leads you have to know people who are married, have a house, and a job...then they give you referrals to their friends...I knew two couples...and neither of them bought anything or gave me any referrals...

And that concludes my very, very sad job history...

...I don't like Halloween...because my mom died on Halloween...when I was out with my friends...she called me short of breath telling me she needed me...I was in the next town over...at least 30 miles away...so I told her to hang on I would call 911... I tried calling her back but she never answered the phone again...I didn't even tell her I loved her...I was too panicked.. we rushed back but by the time I got to the hospital she was already dead...I can still remember going in the room where she was...her head was back and her mouth was wide open like she had been gasping for air...sometimes Robert sleeps with his head back like that...it always kills me...I haven't thought about the details of that night for so long...and now I really wish I hadn't...I really need to cry now...  

[Isis Sister Of Osiris]

RainbowPop26

...I don't like Halloween...because my mom died on Halloween...

*cuddles you* I'm so sorry, hon...  

[Digital Fiend]

I'm very sorry Sweetie. That would be horrible for anyone.

One thing I've learned, especially when no one is around, if you want to cry, cry. It's better afterwards. Either you feel better or you feel too tired to care.

I also remember you saying you just have a tablet right now, but you can always look into temp agencies for work. I think if you're going in for data-entry stuff you just have to pass a test in excel and a couple of other word programs.  

[The_9th_Doctors_Rose]

Gigi Deveraux

RainbowPop26

...I don't like Halloween...because my mom died on Halloween...

*cuddles you* I'm so sorry, hon...

*cuddles* Thanks hon. It's something you learn to live with...

Digital Fiend

I'm very sorry Sweetie. That would be horrible for anyone.

One thing I've learned, especially when no one is around, if you want to cry, cry. It's better afterwards. Either you feel better or you feel too tired to care.

I also remember you saying you just have a tablet right now, but you can always look into temp agencies for work. I think if you're going in for data-entry stuff you just have to pass a test in excel and a couple of other word programs.

Yea...I should cry it would probably do me some good...

I went to school for computers and I used to be able type like 100 wpm...

I oughta...  

[Digital Fiend]

I know I did nothing but cry all last week, but I was very lonely and hurt and let's face it, I should probably go see a therapist soon. But I had a good Sunday/Monday and feel fine right now. I hate crying in front of people though.

Then it might be something that could help you! Although I think they do like to have a resume on file for you at a temp agency {at least they wanted one from me}, focusing on the computer class might help.  

[The_9th_Doctors_Rose]

Digital Fiend

I know I did nothing but cry all last week, but I was very lonely and hurt and let's face it, I should probably go see a therapist soon. But I had a good Sunday/Monday and feel fine right now. I hate crying in front of people though.

Then it might be something that could help you! Although I think they do like to have a resume on file for you at a temp agency {at least they wanted one from me}, focusing on the computer class might help.

emotion_hug I'm glad you feel better. I hate crying in front of other people too.  

[Digital Fiend]

I know, it's just...awkward. They want to make you feel better, but really, being left alone to cry it out...or at most just hug while they let you cry is better than words.

For me at least. How are you doing?  

[The_9th_Doctors_Rose]

Digital Fiend

I know, it's just...awkward. They want to make you feel better, but really, being left alone to cry it out...or at most just hug while they let you cry is better than words.

For me at least. How are you doing?

Me? I'm ok...just very tired and about to go to bed...I have to be up in 3 hours to go to court with my best friend...over stupid s**t her ex did that got her in trouble...not looking forward to it....I would have been asleep already but she came over bc she can't sleep..but yea...thanks so much for talking to me...that goes for you too Gigi! I love you guys!

Good night...er morning....

Tell me how you are doing and I'll try to reply tomorrow when I get home...if I don't pass out first...