CheizLord
The whole school work thing isn't the major problem here. It's not impossible to balance school work and relationships. It's been done before. My focus on this is the maturity level, and respecting the parent's wishes.
when you're under 18, age isn't just a number; it matters. Emotional and mental maturity comes with age. The brain is constantly developing from the day you're born and doesn't stop until youre in your mid twenties. It's a fact. This means that even if she seems mature for her age her brain isn't going to be as developed as yours. Meaning,She virtually can't hold as much maturity as you, her brain won't allow it. Also, emotionally she isn't going to be as intuitive as you are and have as much relationship or life experience. (Later in life this becomes less of a problem, but as a teenager the experience levels are bound to matter). Her viewpoints are going to be from a 14 year old's perspective, a little more ignorant and less explored than yours. This is innevitable and could pose a problem when you run into a challenge in your relatioship that you have to work out, which evidentally you would have eventually come across if you continued to date. The honeymoon phase doesn't last forever, and the demand for you two to show your maturity would become an overall necesity in order to nurture and maintain the relationship. I honestly don't think you two dated long enough to put that maturity level to the test in the relationship to realize this.
Also, from personal experience at her age she might not be looking for what you are. Because you're older you find you might want a long term relationship, or something meaningful out of this because you've been through mroe relationships by now. She's only 14 and sne might not want something long term, because she hasn't been with as many people as you and shes still exploring what she wants in a relationship, where as you probably have a better idea. Generally relationships at that young an age don't last more than a few months anyway because they find themselves in relatioships they thought they wanted to be in, but didn't because they weren't sure what they were looking and discovered things they didn't know that they didn't like. Basically you shouldn't put too much stock in it becoming a serious relationship right now anyway.
Going behind her parent's back doesn't exactly make a good impression. I know your intentions are good but secret dating often puts stress on a relationship and in most cases forces it to end badly regardless. You're lucky that her parents still let you see her. Mos parent's wouldn't be as trusting of someone who went behind their back with their daughter to not trust you wont do it again. If you want to make something out of this in the future then don't give them another reason to distrust you.
My advice? If you really do love each other and you two bring out the positive motives in each other like you said, then you'll have no problem waiting. Strengthen your bond now and regain her parent's trust. show them you're a true gentleman and that you respect their daughter.Just beause you know sex isn't in the picture, they don't. So don't go dating her and doing so behind her back while her parents still forbid it. When you're both mature enough and have her parent's consent, continue the relationship. By this time you can expect you'll have a better handle on your relationship problems once they arise (eveyone has them), and you can also expect she'll be more willing to be in commited relationship which is why making a good second impression on her parents is so important if you two are planning on being together for a while. And don't stop the self improovement just because you two aren't dating. Better yourself because you want to do something for you, not just her.
when you're under 18, age isn't just a number; it matters. Emotional and mental maturity comes with age. The brain is constantly developing from the day you're born and doesn't stop until youre in your mid twenties. It's a fact. This means that even if she seems mature for her age her brain isn't going to be as developed as yours. Meaning,She virtually can't hold as much maturity as you, her brain won't allow it. Also, emotionally she isn't going to be as intuitive as you are and have as much relationship or life experience. (Later in life this becomes less of a problem, but as a teenager the experience levels are bound to matter). Her viewpoints are going to be from a 14 year old's perspective, a little more ignorant and less explored than yours. This is innevitable and could pose a problem when you run into a challenge in your relatioship that you have to work out, which evidentally you would have eventually come across if you continued to date. The honeymoon phase doesn't last forever, and the demand for you two to show your maturity would become an overall necesity in order to nurture and maintain the relationship. I honestly don't think you two dated long enough to put that maturity level to the test in the relationship to realize this.
Also, from personal experience at her age she might not be looking for what you are. Because you're older you find you might want a long term relationship, or something meaningful out of this because you've been through mroe relationships by now. She's only 14 and sne might not want something long term, because she hasn't been with as many people as you and shes still exploring what she wants in a relationship, where as you probably have a better idea. Generally relationships at that young an age don't last more than a few months anyway because they find themselves in relatioships they thought they wanted to be in, but didn't because they weren't sure what they were looking and discovered things they didn't know that they didn't like. Basically you shouldn't put too much stock in it becoming a serious relationship right now anyway.
Going behind her parent's back doesn't exactly make a good impression. I know your intentions are good but secret dating often puts stress on a relationship and in most cases forces it to end badly regardless. You're lucky that her parents still let you see her. Mos parent's wouldn't be as trusting of someone who went behind their back with their daughter to not trust you wont do it again. If you want to make something out of this in the future then don't give them another reason to distrust you.
My advice? If you really do love each other and you two bring out the positive motives in each other like you said, then you'll have no problem waiting. Strengthen your bond now and regain her parent's trust. show them you're a true gentleman and that you respect their daughter.Just beause you know sex isn't in the picture, they don't. So don't go dating her and doing so behind her back while her parents still forbid it. When you're both mature enough and have her parent's consent, continue the relationship. By this time you can expect you'll have a better handle on your relationship problems once they arise (eveyone has them), and you can also expect she'll be more willing to be in commited relationship which is why making a good second impression on her parents is so important if you two are planning on being together for a while. And don't stop the self improovement just because you two aren't dating. Better yourself because you want to do something for you, not just her.
I would have probably posted something more like that if I could feel my fingers.
