Hi.

[Masamune Breaker]

MadPad

Hm! cx You sweet lovely pony man!


I know what you mean, a few years ago I was exactly like that. I always wanted to be nice, so I said a lot of nice things, was trying to be cheerful and motivating, but I actually never asked any further questions. It was like you said, I saw a problem, said something nice and moved on.

In some cases that might even suffice, a little affirmation and the rest goes by itself. By now I've already learned that this is not how it generally works. I still feel very selfish, sometimes I feel like I'm not honestly being there for someone, like I'm asking questions and try to empathize just so I can benefit from the experience. I also fear that I'm still not sharing enough time with those who'd need the attention.
Damn, I'm making myself feel like a terrible person again...

There's one thing I need to tell though; people just try to fix the problem, because that's the way they want to show you that they care. They want you to be happy, because they also wanna be able to rely on you, so that you can cheer them up whenever they feel broken. That may sound perhaps a little egoistical, but that's what being there for each other is like (in my experience).

I have to thank you yet again for explaining your views, you taught me a lot!
I don't know if you are going to believe me, but I approve. You are a very interesting man and I'd like to get to know you better. c: (I'm sorry if this sounds like I'm hitting on you. Not that there would be anything wrong with that. I mean I just don't want to give you the wrong impression, I'd sure like to give it a try and be friends with you, you seem like a nice guy and I can surely learn a lot more from you... Not that it's only because I'm thinking about my sole benefit there... Damn, I'm making a fool out of myself... redface )

I think I know how you feel, short and uncomplicated answers are no problem, but as a non-native English speaker I do worry that I'm always saying something the wrong way or that what I'm saying sounds too simple-minded... sweatdrop

Oh, flaunt your smartness by bragging about your bingluality. Bl -bumps-

No don't feel bad. DX;;;;;;; -crawls in hole, forgets passenger, gets stuck, has to come back out- F;ADJF;ASLJFA;SLJF;LKJDSD -fails-

Yes that's how it is.

And I've never been hit on before. v.v I'm always the one hitting on others. I think I'm not the kind of person that gets hit on. Usually the person doing the hitting is the dominant person, I think? O.o -has no idea how that works- >.< I'm very dominant in relationships where I actually have confidence and so on, but here in this situation now I just look like a complete puss. e.e...

I'm not really a puss unless I'm alone. Like, I don't really know if I could defend myself if I was alone and the only one being hurt, but I know for sure if I had someone to protect I wouldn't hold back.

After me and my only IRL bf broke up in high school, he got into a fight at school and somebody beat him up in the hallway and the whole class was standing outside gawking while the teacher tried to break it up, and I have never, ever forgiven myself that I didn't jump in there and start ripping the other person's hair out. We weren't together anymore and I was hurt over it (we actually didn't really "break up" he just started smoking pot and came to school spaced out and ignored me all the time and acting weird because he was high, so I told him to get his stuff out my locker and that was the end of it).

He was really wussy and submissive and cuddly and fun and I loved him to pieces, but I'm not sure it ever would have worked out because he was really interested in the girl part of me. :/ He called me his girlfriend. v.v ~

Anywho, I'm the one did all the hitting. And badgering. And tormenting. And stalking like a crazy person until he gave in. whee He didn't want to be on the bottom though. >.< -punts memory-

I flirted with my straight gaia friend all the time just for fun. I had him kind of half-confused for a while at one point, and I think if I would have brought up the "I'm not really a real guy" thing I'm not sure what might have happened, but I don't want that. If people don't like me as a guy then I don't want a relationship with them. I never told him what I really am. It was nice to be told "I won't go out with you because you're a guy."

I had a friend in high school who was straight and accepted me and stuff (obviously he knew what I was cuz we were in school together) and it was nice, and he'd be like, when we'd goof off he'd always mention he didn't mean anything seriously because he wasn't gay and I thought it was cool. Straight guys that actually make the distinction that dating me would be like dating another guy and not just a tomboy are cool.

Can't find any gay guys who make that distinction, though. .-.

And I'm totally getting all misty-eyed and rambling about the far-distant past, sorry. -hushes-
 

[MadPad]

Masamune Breaker

Oh, flaunt your smartness by bragging about your bingluality. Bl -bumps-

No don't feel bad. DX;;;;;;; -crawls in hole, forgets passenger, gets stuck, has to come back out- F;ADJF;ASLJFA;SLJF;LKJDSD -fails-

Yes that's how it is.

And I've never been hit on before. v.v I'm always the one hitting on others. I think I'm not the kind of person that gets hit on. Usually the person doing the hitting is the dominant person, I think? O.o -has no idea how that works- >.< I'm very dominant in relationships where I actually have confidence and so on, but here in this situation now I just look like a complete puss. e.e...

I'm not really a puss unless I'm alone. Like, I don't really know if I could defend myself if I was alone and the only one being hurt, but I know for sure if I had someone to protect I wouldn't hold back.

After me and my only IRL bf broke up in high school, he got into a fight at school and somebody beat him up in the hallway and the whole class was standing outside gawking while the teacher tried to break it up, and I have never, ever forgiven myself that I didn't jump in there and start ripping the other person's hair out. We weren't together anymore and I was hurt over it (we actually didn't really "break up" he just started smoking pot and came to school spaced out and ignored me all the time and acting weird because he was high, so I told him to get his stuff out my locker and that was the end of it).

He was really wussy and submissive and cuddly and fun and I loved him to pieces, but I'm not sure it ever would have worked out because he was really interested in the girl part of me. :/ He called me his girlfriend. v.v ~

Anywho, I'm the one did all the hitting. And badgering. And tormenting. And stalking like a crazy person until he gave in. whee He didn't want to be on the bottom though. >.< -punts memory-

I flirted with my straight gaia friend all the time just for fun. I had him kind of half-confused for a while at one point, and I think if I would have brought up the "I'm not really a real guy" thing I'm not sure what might have happened, but I don't want that. If people don't like me as a guy then I don't want a relationship with them. I never told him what I really am. It was nice to be told "I won't go out with you because you're a guy."

I had a friend in high school who was straight and accepted me and stuff (obviously he knew what I was cuz we were in school together) and it was nice, and he'd be like, when we'd goof off he'd always mention he didn't mean anything seriously because he wasn't gay and I thought it was cool. Straight guys that actually make the distinction that dating me would be like dating another guy and not just a tomboy are cool.

Can't find any gay guys who make that distinction, though. .-.

And I'm totally getting all misty-eyed and rambling about the far-distant past, sorry. -hushes-

Yay, someone called me smart! emotion_awesome

NOOOOOOOO! ;;;3;;; *runs to help, but is too weak to get you out* Gah, I'm so useless! DX *starts digging you free*

I don't know if the dominant one is also the one doing the hitting... I've never been hit on before either... ._. Except that one time when I was 16, there was that much older guy on the bus who somehow wanted to convince me to go to with him to his appartment, that was creepy... gonk
Anyway, I don't think you make the impression of a puss, you are open about your emotions and that's a sign of strength to me. It takes so much to overcome oneself and dare to talk about stuff like that. You impress me sir. c;
And I'm even worse than that, I think I couldn't even get into a fight without hesitating a little, even if I wasn't alone... ._.'

I think your friend smoked some bad pot. o: Honestly, I do enjoy a nice smoke on weekends (which is very convinient, because most of my friends are stoners) and I'm always feeling so cuddly afterwards. All my friends are straight though, that's why I have to hide that and distract myself with something else...

Hm... Yeah, I imagine it being hard to find another gay guy who'd start a relationship knowing that you're lacking man-parts. :c To be frank, I think if I would be in a relationship with a man like you, I would get a little frustrated over the fact that I couldn't pleasure him like I could someone with a male body... ._. Maybe I'm still too immature, I was in a relationship with a women until recently and it just didn't work out sexually (not to mention emotionally...). I fantasize about sexual things with another male body so much, I guess I just have to have an experience like that to be satisfied. Sorry if this is discouraging you somehow... ;-;  

[XrosHeartless]

Masamune Breaker

XrosHeartless

It's not like it matters, movies and games for the most part are going to ignore or not even be aware of that.

Jurassic Park 3 bugged me. Even if they found out real dinosaurs have feathers, the dinosaurs in JP didn't. So just up and all the sudden they evolved feathers between movies was a bit derpy.

I think it's ironic how these days dinosaurs in movies look so real, especially in JP, but every time you see CG horses and even most dogs they never look real at all. You'd think modern animals would be easier since we can get references for them instead of having to make it up, lol.

It's probably a difference in the special effects studio. All of the Jurassic Park movies were handled by ILM, pretty much the best of the best in the business. To this day I've never seen anyone outdo them.  

[MadPad]

Masamune Breaker

That's just the way it is. v.v

People like to pretend that personality is what matters and it's what's on the inside that counts, but they always tell me that with the mindset that "I'll find someone else" but never for themselves. When you boil down to it, yes, the body matters. It's sad, it sucks, but life's a b***h and then you die.

If it's an online relationship, it doesn't matter. If you're just going to kiss and cuddle and do dry humps on the couch, it doesn't matter. But if you're going to actually be naked and do real stuff then nobody wants to be stuck with someone they're not attracted to. "Nobody" includes that "someone else" that people are always saying I'll supposedly find. I honestly don't believe anyone is really truly going to ever be attracted to me unless it's a bisexual who wants to sleep with me as a girl. I'll be alone forever and I have to deal with that somehow, so that's when I turned to my fictional friends. I always write in first person as the dominant partner. That's my fantasy that will never come true.

When I imagine real-life sex I have absolutely no physical reaction at all whatsoever. But if I look at it as if I'm a real guy, then suddenly I have the same hyperactive sex drive as everyone else. I'm not comfortable fantasizing about real people because I'd feel very weird if someone I'm not attracted to was imagining doing things with me that I didn't want to do. So that's why I only date fictional people, and only guys that have no specific clear set-in-stone orientation. I know Cloud is "supposed" to be "with Tifa" but they DON'T kiss and the original reason I got into it in the first place was because of the picture on the back of Advent Children. I thought Kadaj was a girl in the picture, then when the movie went off I was like, "But wait, then who was the chick?" and looked at the box again and was like OH MY ZEBRA, HE'S CARRYING A GUY? -watches it again- That's what started my whole entire FF7 fandom. I have that poster on my wall now btw. emotion_kirakira

And my other most adored would-be bf is Scott in Xenosaga. He's probably not gay or he'd be a better dresser, but the game doesn't bother going into that much detail on a background NPC that only appears in sidequests. He'd be so perfect for me. ;A; He's a little sweetheart. Wimpiest damn person in the game. Geeky, weird little blue-eyed nerd that's always panicking when something dramatic happens. And he can fix stuff. I'mma take him home, he can fix my car and soup up my computer and then I'll pin him down and nail the stuffing out of him. I'm not into robots and I don't drink but oh well, accept people as they are. We'll work it out. whee

In my comic story, he's in love with an artificial person, who can't have sex with him and has a different way of thinking. The fact he's not human causes obstacles that put stress on their relationship and gives the story an interesting climax, but it's fiction. It doesn't work that way in real life. Love doesn't conquer all once I turn off my photoshop.

Well... if I looked like Canaan people might forgive the fact I'm not able to do stuff real guys can do, lol. But alas. Life's a witch and then you fly. o3o~

Well yes, the body does matter... but so does the personality. I wouldn't ever date a guy who's an a*****e, how matter how good he may look. Similarly I'd most likely make a compromise, when I'm really into someone's personality. emotion_kirakira

I know you enjoy your fantasies, that's not a bad thing, I find it rather beautiful to have such a blooming imagination... but on the other hand I feel like I want do hug you. I don't want to make you feel like I pity you, I just find it unfair that, additionally to not being able to afford surgery, you have to feel so lonely... Just... goddamn crap... ._.

I don't know who Canaan is. D:  

[Masamune Breaker]

XrosHeartless

It's probably a difference in the special effects studio. All of the Jurassic Park movies were handled by ILM, pretty much the best of the best in the business. To this day I've never seen anyone outdo them.

They need to come work on the animals in some of these other movies. >w<  

[Masamune Breaker]

deleted.  

[XrosHeartless]

Masamune Breaker

XrosHeartless

It's probably a difference in the special effects studio. All of the Jurassic Park movies were handled by ILM, pretty much the best of the best in the business. To this day I've never seen anyone outdo them.

They need to come work on the animals in some of these other movies. >w<

I'm pretty sure those smaller movies can't afford them lol  

[Masamune Breaker]

XrosHeartless

I'm pretty sure those smaller movies can't afford them lol

The ones that annoy me are like Final Fantasy, where all the people look extremely realistic like you could touch them, then an animal comes out and it looks fake. Like, sure, the fur looks real, but just the shape of the paws and legs and the way it moves and whatever doesn't look real at all. Or on Alice in Wonderland, the rabbit looked real, but the horses looked like they were made out of rubber. It seems like horses always look the worst in CG, like nobody knows what a horse looks like. A lot of games you play will have realistic characters for you to play as, but if there's any animals especially any horses they just don't look as real as the people/backgrounds.

It just bewilders me how someone can make realistic dinosaurs, which no one has ever seen, then take an ordinary everyday animal and can't make it look right. And horses are especially ironic because that's what ancient artists studied and sculpted all the time; it was one of the most common subjects. Then modern day artists can't recreate them at all. Somebody a hundred years ago could make a horse out of marble look better than what modern technology can do with a computer. .-.
 

[XrosHeartless]

Masamune Breaker

XrosHeartless

I'm pretty sure those smaller movies can't afford them lol

The ones that annoy me are like Final Fantasy, where all the people look extremely realistic like you could touch them, then an animal comes out and it looks fake. Like, sure, the fur looks real, but just the shape of the paws and legs and the way it moves and whatever doesn't look real at all. Or on Alice in Wonderland, the rabbit looked real, but the horses looked like they were made out of rubber. It seems like horses always look the worst in CG, like nobody knows what a horse looks like. A lot of games you play will have realistic characters for you to play as, but if there's any animals especially any horses they just don't look as real as the people/backgrounds.

It just bewilders me how someone can make realistic dinosaurs, which no one has ever seen, then take an ordinary everyday animal and can't make it look right. And horses are especially ironic because that's what ancient artists studied and sculpted all the time; it was one of the most common subjects. Then modern day artists can't recreate them at all. Somebody a hundred years ago could make a horse out of marble look better than what modern technology can do with a computer. .-.

I think the reason the dinosaurs and such look better is because we've nothing to compare them to in the real world.  

[Masamune Breaker]

XrosHeartless

I think the reason the dinosaurs and such look better is because we've nothing to compare them to in the real world.

Their legs and such always move logically though. Usually when you see CG horses, their legs just don't bend in the right places. It's like the artists who do this kind of stuff in movies were all dinosaur/dragon fans or only studied CG people. Even zombies and silliness looks better than CG horses. emotion_zombie

It seems like horses just aren't "cool" these days. I don't know who decided horses are only for little girls. They don't even make toy horses anymore unless they have make up and whatever, or My Little Ponies. It's like cowboys and indians and knights and so forth don't exist anymore. The 'horses are only for girls' thing is annoying. If you do find toy horses for sale, there will be little girls on the box. My mom got some horses for my sister's kids and they were like "Ew, girl toys!" D< and even their dad was huffy about it. Deciding these animals are girly and those animals are for boys is the dumbest thing I've ever heard of.
 

[XrosHeartless]

Masamune Breaker

XrosHeartless

I think the reason the dinosaurs and such look better is because we've nothing to compare them to in the real world.

Their legs and such always move logically though. Usually when you see CG horses, their legs just don't bend in the right places. It's like the artists who do this kind of stuff in movies were all dinosaur/dragon fans or only studied CG people. Even zombies and silliness looks better than CG horses. emotion_zombie

It seems like horses just aren't "cool" these days. I don't know who decided horses are only for little girls. They don't even make toy horses anymore unless they have make up and whatever, or My Little Ponies. It's like cowboys and indians and knights and so forth don't exist anymore. The 'horses are only for girls' thing is annoying. If you do find toy horses for sale, there will be little girls on the box. My mom got some horses for my sister's kids and they were like "Ew, girl toys!" D< and even their dad was huffy about it. Deciding these animals are girly and those animals are for boys is the dumbest thing I've ever heard of.

You seem to be very passionate about it. I honestly never noticed that much but that's just me. If it makes you feel any better, the horses in the new Fire Emblem on 3DS look pretty good.  

[Masamune Breaker]

XrosHeartless

You seem to be very passionate about it. I honestly never noticed that much but that's just me. If it makes you feel any better, the horses in the new Fire Emblem on 3DS look pretty good.

No, actually, I'm just trying to come up with an excuse to talk to you. emo  

[XrosHeartless]

Masamune Breaker

XrosHeartless

You seem to be very passionate about it. I honestly never noticed that much but that's just me. If it makes you feel any better, the horses in the new Fire Emblem on 3DS look pretty good.

No, actually, I'm just trying to come up with an excuse to talk to you. emo

You don't need and excuse, you can talk to me about anything emotion_yatta  

[Masamune Breaker]

XrosHeartless

You don't need and excuse, you can talk to me about anything emotion_yatta

Oh. Ok. -talks to you about why horses always look bad in CG- x.x;

I think that was the only thing we had in common, except you had the new Dante on your profile and I put the classic Dante on mine. .-.

I almost did a cosplay, but this is my only noncosplay avatar so I decided to leave it as it is. Being in cosplay all the time is just another way of hiding myself and the point of coming here was to stop doing that. .3.