Aqua Springs ~ ART GALLERY OPEN! ~ Geezerville

[Chef_Karrie]

*blinks, not sure of what to say for a moment* No, I didn't think it was. I don't think she was serious, but my answer was. She was just starting to calm down and stop crying. I will tell her, that just was a bad time. Hell, she just told me that she'd had a miscarriage!  

[Cuwen]

Amy groaned. "I know... I know. I just thought that it'd be a natural time for you to mention that you were dating me."

She sighed and looked back up at him. "I... I'll trust you when you say you'll tell Dame about us. Okay, I'll try to. I just pay a lot more attention to actions than I do words. Yeah, words are great, but they only matter if they're backed up with actions."

"Karrie, maybe you should take a break from JD after all that has happened in your life. I'm sure Psyzapp would more than understand. She's very understanding."  

[Chef_Karrie]

*shakes his head* Not when she was just starting to calm down. She probably would have started crying again if I'd said that. *sighs* I hate seeing women cry. I don't know what to do about it. gonk

I will tell her, just not when she's already upset. There's just been a lot going on lately.

*nods* I think a break does sound really good. It's been really stressful there lately. I'd like to go talk to her soon anyway. I didn't get a chance to tell them that Niiki's stepmother is out of the hospital. *smiles a little bit at her* Maybe we could take a short trip, with just the two of us...

((*pauses scene* I'm going to bed.))  

[ThisEmptySoul]

Chef_Karrie

I hate seeing women cry. I don't know what to do about it. gonk

{{Join the club sweatdrop }}  

[Cuwen]

{{Just replying for when you come back on. smile }}

Amy quickly looked up at Karrie with a surprised look on her face. "A trip? Just the two of us? No pets and no cell phones? You'd want to do that?"

A small smile began to tug at the corner of her mouth and she looked down at her lap briefly. Just the thought of that made her stomach and heart flutter. They'd be alone and could just focus on each other. But wait. Was that a good thing? Would he like having just her to focus on? Would he get bored?

Amy quickly stopped those thoughts. Hell, she was starting to realize that she sabotaged herself half of the time by all the negative thoughts she had.

She looked back up at Karrie and thought that she should be completely honest and open. She didn't want to be like her dad, and her dad had rarely opened up to her mother. That didn't give her mother an excuse to cheat, but it also didn't give her all the blame.

"Okay, this might take awhile because I'm feeling a lot right now and I have a lot of thoughts going on in my mind. I... I hope you don't mind listening."

She breathed deeply, made sure she kept her eyes locked on Karrie's, and began.

"You could very well be right about me not letting people get close to me. I never really thought about it that much. It was more like just a reaction to where I do it without even thinking. I've never seen anything good come out of two people becoming close with one another, not even just as friends. I'm talking long-term here. So I guess I just tried to push people away because I knew it wouldn't end well. And then I'd tell myself that it's just because a person isn't meant to be with another one for a long period of time. That's just not how things are."

She turned her hand over in Karrie's so that she could hold his as he was holding hers. "And then you and I became really good friends. I was with Kai when you and I became close and I eventually ended things with him, using our different schedules as an excuse. But you were still with Dame, so I thought you and I were still safe, that we wouldn't be tempted to become romantically involved or even best friends. But then she ended things with you and I later found out you liked me. And I think I knew I liked you, too, but I didn't, and still don't, really know how to act. I'm scared... so scared. I like you, and I have for a long time, but I'm so afraid that I'll mess us up, you'll eventually find the same thing that my mother and everyone else has found wrong with me and it will make you want to leave, or I'll just disappoint you. I mean, look at Thistle. Even she doesn't want to be with me anymore."

She had to look down at the table for a moment because tears were starting to fall down her cheeks again.

"And when you bring me to the MW and then barely say two words to me, I keep worrying that you're just embarrassed to let people there know that you're with me. I'm also afraid when you're over there that some people will somehow make you see what they don't like about me and you will leave. I've been either holding on too tightly to you or just acting like I don't care because I'm just waiting for you to leave, too, and I'm so sorry for that. I just don't know how else to be right now. At least you're helping me to realize all of this stuff about myself. I guess you have to know about something before you can try to change it."

She sighed and looked back up at Karrie. "When we go someplace besides here or your house, you act kind of distant. I'm not a fan of a lot of PDA, either, but you seem to act like we're just friends again. Deep down, if you are embarrassed or you're afraid of what your employers will think, then I hope you'll just end things now, before either of us get any deeper into this."

She groaned when she realized that she was already pushing him away again. Hell, that kind of stuff just sneaks up on a person...

"I guess I just don't always get the feeling that you want me, that you want to be with me. When we're alone, I feel it all the time. I feel like it even when I'm not looking at you. But it's so different when we go out in public."

She shrugged. "That's kind of what I was referring to when I said that it might be best for me to go back home because it's so easy for you to have me right there beside you all of the time. You don't have to romance me or take me out on dates or even act like we're dating when we're around other people. With me being back at home, at least I'd know that you were making an effort to come and see me, that you cared enough to make that effort. That's what all beginning relationships need, I think. We both need the opportunity to prove that to each other. I mean, I love the idea of being able to walk into a room and just see you beaming at me and coming over to hug me."

She smiled slightly at that thought and then glanced back down at the table. "And maybe if my father had wanted my mother to do that from the beginning, to show her feelings for him and to make the effort to be with him, they either would have stayed together or broken things off before getting married. I'd rather be alone for the rest of my life than in a loveless marriage that leaves people grief-stricken at the end of it all."

She looked back up at him and squeezed his hand. "So you see, me moving out isn't about me wanting to be away from you or not wanting to live with you. It's about making a solid foundation for our relationship... if you want to as well, that is. Like I said, Karrie, you can leave now if you want. Now that all the cards are out on the table, if you decide you want to leave, no one will blame you. Maybe you need this break you're considering taking so that you can think about if you want to be with me or not. Of course, I know that would have to be after you start to come to terms with... with losing your baby. And Karrie, I hope you don't think I'm some uncaring, horrible person for bringing this other stuff up first. I am so sorry for what happened, and I'm going to be here for you if you need me, whether if it's as a friend or something more, I'll be here for you."

Wow. Could she throw more stuff at him if she tried?  

[Chef_Karrie]

*nods* Kits can take care of Velcore and Thistle while we're gone. I wouldn't want to be gone for too long, but I think a few days would be nice.

*sits in silence, watching Amy as she talks. For a moment afterwards, he stays quiet* I think that both of us have some things we need to work on. I would like to do that with you. But maybe you're right, and we do need some space right now. I don't mean that I want to break up with you. I just mean that it is a good idea for you to go back to your house so that we're not seeing each other quite so much right now.

I will go talk to Psyzapp soon to see about taking some time off from the Jade Dragon. There's been too much happening lately and I need a break from some of the things that go on there. I still think that the trip is a good idea, and I think that it will be better if we aren't seeing each other all the time until then.  

[Cuwen]

Amy looked at Karrie, somewhat puzzled. She should be happy about the trip, but she could tell that there was something wrong with him. Well, more wrong now since she had spoken. And it sounded almost like he wanted to avoid her.

"You want to stay apart for awhile and then just go on a trip? Did I... Did I say something wrong? Should I not have mentioned the baby? I was afraid to because I was afraid it would hurt you more to talk about it. I shouldn't have mentioned it. I'm sorry. It's none of my business, anyway. It's between you and Dame and I really have no right to say anything about it."

She sighed and looked down at her hand. She should have just kept her mouth shut.  

[Chef_Karrie]

*looks into her eyes, noting her puzzled expression* No, not stay apart. I just think that it's a good idea if you're back living at your house. The anticipation of being together a lot during the trip will make it even better if we're not so much before it. smile

Amy, I told you about the baby because I wanted you to know. It's something that's important to me. *looks down for a moment, a sad look crossing his face and he speaks softly* I needed to talk to somebody about it. I haven't even told Kits anything.  

[Cuwen]

Amy's eyes filled with tears. They were tears of relief, but they were also tears of sadness. She hated the grief-stricken look on his face. It seemed to be there so much lately, and she hated it. He didn't deserve it at all. And just the thought of the pain Dame must be going through and the idea of any baby not making it full term was awful.

"Karrie, I'm sorry. I know you told me about it, but I still just thought that you... that you might want to forget about it, that it'd be easier. That's what I do sometimes when things get to be too much to handle, and this is the worst thing I could ever think of to happen... But that obviously isn't the best way to handle it. I just..."

She got up from her chair and sat in his lap. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders and guided his head to her shoulder. "I don't know how to help you. All of these horrible things keep happening to you, and I don't know how to help. I want to make you feel better, but I can't. I can't make these things go away."

She ran one of her hands through the bottom section of his hair and whispered softly. "What do you want to do, Karrie? What do you want me to do?"

She wouldn't comment on the first part of what he had said before, not yet. It wasn't the most important thing right now.  

[Chef_Karrie]

I can't forget about it, Amy. Even if I only found out last night, this isn't something I can just let go.

*when she sits on his lap, he wraps his arms around her and leans his head against her* It's enough right now for you to be here and listen to me. I don't know what else you can do.  

[Cuwen]

Amy rested her forehead on the top of Karrie's head. "I'll always be here for you, Karrie. Do you want to go..."

She sighed. "I was going to ask if you wanted to go to your house and relax. If you want me to stay there tonight, of course I will. It is entirely up to you. I can still stay away after that to build up anticipation, which I like the idea of by the way."

She tried to force a smile to her face, but it didn't work.

"But I will do whatever you want. I can even just come over for a little bit and we can watch a movie or something and then I'll head home. Or you can just talk. Whatever you want, Karrie. I just thought that you might be more comfortable at home. You can come to my house, too, of course, if you prefer."  

[Chef_Karrie]

*thinks for a moment before answering her* I think I'd like to go to your house. I think I'd like to have some company tonight. Anyway, I want to make sure the fairies are done with their mating season before you move back in completely.

Thistle is with Kits, and by now Kits probably figures she's staying overnight anyway. So you don't need to worry about her tonight. Velcore will find me if he needs to. He usually knows where I am, even if I don't tell him.  

[Cuwen]

Amy shook her head slightly. "Karrie, you just lost a baby and you're worried about the fairies at my house still possibly mating? That's so sweet of you, but once we get to my house, I want you to let me take care of you. Hell, don't even worry about possibly falling asleep because obviously you can spend the night at my house. I just want you to... let go as best you can."

She kissed the top of his head again and then got up off of his lap. She took his hand in hers, intertwined their fingers, and started walking toward the AS entrance/exit. As they walked, she turned her head and looked at Karrie.

"And thanks for taking care of Thistle earlier, for taking her to Kits. I appreciate it. I didn't know what to do about that. And even though I don't think he will, Velcore can get into my house on his own. The door will be unlocked and he can come in. I mean, if he wonders where you are and he checks at my house, he can get in. So there's nothing for you to worry about. Everything is taken care of and I will take care of you."

She walked with him to her house.  

[Cuwen]

Amy came into Aqua Springs and started greeting the different staff members. She spent extra time talking with Jessi at the information desk in the entrance building.  

[Grey_Kitsune]

Marcus stood at a game, staring at the water cannons with half-interest. He'd been standing there for around five minutes. The odd thing was that his hands were empty, no crowbar. Where it had gone? It was in the shop for it's 3000 hit tune up. He wanted to paint some flames on it, but he'd have to wait for his next paycheck. in the meantime, he just stared at the minigame, pondering if it used air pressure to jet the water or just a plain old water pump.