Taking a few panting steps, Haki collapsed onto her side on the grass, staring over the strands as she breathed Stupid Daitomi! My body still hurts... she looked at her wrist, seeing the slight red burns where the electricity had rushed into her skin and her fist clenched. Then the thoughts turned to Kein and her face flushed with anger What did he do to me?! she buried her face into her fist as tears of anger rose to the surface. She knew something was wrong with her, had known it for a long time. But what was it?! Haki took a deep breath and slammed her fists into the earth, her voice ripping out of her throat in a wordless scream. She was on her stomach and it hurt but it felt good to scream. When it finally stopped, Haki's tears had stopped as well and she was lying with her forehead on her arms, staring at the ground that was inches from her nose I have to fix this... her mouth pinched into a tight line as she lifted her head, glaring at the air around her "I have to fix it."
Can you withstand the change?
Don't do what you think I want! Do what you want to make me want it.
Posted: Mon Dec 31, 2012 9:38 pm
KodokiDokijima ❝ Perform at least one good deed a day....❞
She was simply done overthinking things. For once, Doki just wanted to affirm her beliefs and carry it out. No more will she dwell on matters. If her student was originally a girl, then that's who she was. It was time to overcome her doubts and start reasoning in factors-- like maybe why Haki had to disguise herself in the first place. And factor in that maybe Doki wasn't always there for her either.
While just sorting out her mind, hoping to be alone here, it turned out she wasn't. Some distance ahead, the cries of a girl was heard. For Doki, checking to see if it was a Genjutsu was last. The adviser found Haki--lying on the ground. Apparently crying. She approached two meters along but by then Haki had already jerked her head up, as if looking for something. Then she heard it. "Fix what?" She had to ask. Doki's concern growing wider at the girl's venom. Fine one day, then even angrier the next. It's been like that since Kein. Kein. The name she applied hatred to.
It was still so strange, to see the boy she knew as Haki, now as Haki, the girl so pink. But seeing her so troubled, complex, it reminded her of her only pupil.
Haki turned her head around at the voice, scooting back a bit to sit up "Doki-san..." she bit her lower lip at her sensei's question. How could she tell Doki that she knew something was wrong with her? She didn't have any proof. Only the overwhelming anger that seemed to rise and fall like some sporadic animal on a hunt. And even that could have just been hormones.....it could have nothing to do with Kein....but she knew better. "I have to fix....my attitude. I'm too grumpy for my own good." Haki replied, the lie sliding easily off her tongue. This was, Haki reasoned, her problem. And she was going to fix it herself even if it meant doing what she didn't want to do "Have you finished with the hospital, Doki-san?" she asked, not to switch the topic but just to find something else to talk about. She was fairly sure she hadn't fooled Doki with her lie but....how could she talk about something she wasn't even sure was there?
Can you withstand the change?
Don't do what you think I want! Do what you want to make me want it.
Posted: Tue Jan 01, 2013 9:14 pm
KodokiDokijima ❝ Perform at least one good deed a day....❞
Doki took a seat in front of Haki. Starting to spread over a new smile as she nodded to her student's question. Yes indeed, she was done with the Hospital. "Oh, only grumpy sometimes." She teased, squeezing the side of Haki's cheek for a second before ruffling her bangs. So pink, and soft the tufts were like last time. "Though, I would say troubled." Gently poked her nose then settled. She's been putting this question off for far too long. But...
She was quiet for a second, looking at Haki. Endearing, and inquisite. Two qualities she cherished about Haki, even in her fits sometimes. "No matter what, you're still my student. And I'm still gonna be your awesome teacher. There's nothing you can dish at me, that I won't be able to handle." Said the adviser, the young teacher, with an indefinite amount of confidence. OOC: Thank you my lovely Paci!
Squinting one eye as Doki pinched her cheek, Haki smiled at Doki shyly, biting her bottom lip. It was this that so endeared Doki to her, the way she treated Haki with just....regularness. No airs, no ego. Just pleasant speaking and easy going optimism "Grumpy a lot more then I want to be...." she mumbled, looking down as Doki ruffled her hair. It was so very pink and Haki reached up, twirling a finger through it anxiously But.... she looked up at Doki through her bangs, messed from Doki's ruffling and Haki started to feel tears well up in her eyes. Normally, she would hate herself for crying since she'd been a boy....but now she just sniffled at it "What....what if I can't handle it?" she hiccuped a bit, her tears starting to slide down her soft cheeks. Haki rubbed at her face awkwardly with her wrists, not sure how to explain that something was wrong with her. She wasn't thinking correctly anymore! And she didn't understand why "There's something...something wrong in my head or wherever emotions come from. Emotions and thoughts! Its all dark and screwy in my head like someone stuck chopsticks in my brain and stirred." Haki put one clenched fist to her mouth as she sucked in tears and hiccups, her sobs starting to shake her slender frame now "And its not-not supposed to be that way! I know it isn't! I just....I don't know why its like that now! It wasn't like that before." she bit down on her hand, fighting the self hatred that was welling up. And the hatred that had started to breathe at Doki. She knew it wasn't her own emotions, making her want to scratch Doki's eyes out for prying, for caring "Its like....All I have are bad memories of Kumo and of living at the estate. Horrible memories but I know they weren't! I know it but something has made them all bad! I-I talked to Gin about them and he-he doesn't know where the memories I have came from! Things I remember, they never happened! And he says things that I can't remember! So-so why are they in my head? Why are the good things bad now? And...and like what happened with Kyo on the mountain! I-I don't know why I hit him with my bowl! He just made me so angry and I hated him! I hated him!" Full. blown. sobbing. Haki had lost pretty much all control of her tears now and was openly bawling her eyes out, just hanging her head and crying with her hands clenched together. Her mind was so messed up, her emotions rolling every direction, she just couldn't understand what was wrong with her "G-Gin and Rain raised me t-to not have a temper! I n-never lost my temper c-cause I knew my mum had one! S-so why? Why do I g-get so mad now? Wh-what's wrong with me, Doki-chan?"
Can you withstand the change?
Don't do what you think I want! Do what you want to make me want it.
Posted: Wed Jan 02, 2013 7:06 pm
KodokiDokijima ❝ Perform at least one good deed a day....❞
Haki was crying. And this wasn't the first time she had seen her cry. And each time, for a reasons embedded deep. Of pain, there was that familiar ensemble. Her gaze winced, collective at the pain ebbing at Hakkin. Without any words to say or think about--Her arms embraced the girl, her shawl soaking up her tears in the slight squeeze. "I know, I know you didn't mean it..Shh, it's okay." She would say while rubbing at her back with her chin over her shoulder.
"Moonpie, you were half asleep. And I don't think you're the type to be volatile either, you little minx." She would say, taking out a spare handkerchief and gently dabbing at her face. Including her nose if she wanted to blow. She sighed, figuring it was better now than never. "There isn't something wrong with you. It's what that has been DONE to you. Hush!" She would now be stern with Haki. Her eyes resolute and as much as she loved her student, more tears would only sting for later.
"You're so silly sometimes. As formidable certain tempers are, it doesn't just come naturally. But in this case, I fear it's what Kein had done to you, at the time when he...well, influenced you to leave. Or is that not how it happened?" Doki would ask, softly again while releasing her from the embrace enough to see her face to face. Whatever this is, they will get through this. As her teacher, Doki will simply not stand by and allow her Haki any more pain. If she has to develop any method to do it, she'll take her chances and eliminate this problem once and for all. Even if the method should be forbidden. OOC: Thank you my lovely Paci!
Holding tightly to Doki as she cried, Haki tried not to get anything but tears on Doki's shawl. As she leaned back when Doki did, her eyes were puffy and red now, her nose sniffling as Doki dabbed at her cheeks with a handkerchief. What had been DONE to her? Haki felt....violated at that thought and she swallowed "No...I left on my own even though I wanted to stay. I thought..." she blushed, feeling stupid for her own idiocy at the time "I thought he was the only one who could teach me how to be strong. To not be a crybaby anymore..." she looked down at her hands and through the tears, remembered what had happened in Yukigakure. It took her a while to figure out where she'd started to be...not herself. And it all started with "I fell asleep...in the hospital room in Yukigakure. After that, I didn't cry anymore...and I didn't want to go home anymore either. I didn't care what happened."And I still don't. Mentally crushing that thought, Haki looked at Doki and she felt a bit of panic start to rise "Did....did he do something to me when I was sleeping?!" her voice pitched to a squeak when she said the last bit and again, she felt so violated. She wanted to throw up.
Can you withstand the change?
Don't do what you think I want! Do what you want to make me want it.
Posted: Sat Jan 05, 2013 8:58 pm
KodokiDokijima ❝ Perform at least one good deed a day....❞
The clone she had created, intentional for sparring purposes had decided to leave on ahead to the Office. By this hour, there would normally be a lot of band wanters, so she left.
Meanwhile. Doki was experiencing a turbulence. Her student before her, a still babe with tears to show for her pain and misery. And now to have an epiphany upon a forsaken event, Doki felt helpless even as she forced up her limp arms to embrace her even more. Her face over her bundle of hair, shaking a little. Some tears slipping over the bridge of her nose. The only other time she cried, was usually seldom. How could she bear it? The pain of being so helpless, and to have her student, Haki...dear sweet Haki. Someone like a sibling to her, experience something terrible.
"DON'T EVEN THINK--!!!" She shook Haki once, firmly and glared her down. Her own tears dripping by the sides. Her anger was white, flashing fire within her mindset just thinking about it. "We don't know what, but we'll find out. Mark my words, I will do everything in my power. I will never let you fall into the wrong hands, ever again. Hakkin Issetsu, you are no longer a mere victim. You did not come back weak, if anything. You took every ounce of bravery to come back to us then. Haki--"
She hugged her student, caring not if it was close to smothering. Just that the embrace itself was firm, a prolonging effect of what happens when someone cared too deeply for the other. "This wouldn't have happened, if I wasn't so careless. Just know that you're here, safe. And stronger..!" She almost sounded liek she was sobbing from over her shoulder. But really, she meant every word of it. And from that side, her face scrunched with rage and indignation. Anger and hostility from all waves emitting from the unexpected adviser.
Surprised at the vehemence behind Doki's voice and the sudden grip, Haki blinked through tears. Wiping her eyes and cheeks awkwardly with her hands, she spoke "B-But how do-" she was cut off by another of Doki's hugs, the smothering grip nearly causing her to lose her balance but she grabbed Doki. Sniffing mightily and forcing her tears to stop, Haki pushed Doki away a little to breath and speak "Its not your fault..." she mumbled, putting her hands in her lap and gripping them into fists. She took some minutes to compose herself then whipped her head up to look Doki in the eyes "I'd like...permission to train by myself." Haki wanted to be Doki's student. To remain her student but the techniques she needed to learn required unsettling necessities for someone her age "I still want to learn from you....but I want to learn some styles by myself. I have to. If I'm going to become even stronger." Doki's words about her not being a victim....Haki intended to keep it that way.
Can you withstand the change?
Don't do what you think I want! Do what you want to make me want it.
Posted: Sun Jan 06, 2013 9:41 am
KodokiDokijima ❝ Perform at least one good deed a day....❞
She'd think about it, now releasing her hug from Haki. She'd assume that Haki had been training all alone this whole time with her absence. It would be no different now, only her direct supervision wouldn't be needed. Despite some concerns of injury or accidents, Doki thought long about it. It was true. Even at this age, most shinobi settled their own affairs. "Very well then. I think that would actually help in more ways than I realize." And the more she thought about it, their time apart could be beneficial at times. Doki could catch up to her own training, and Haki could find more progress in her own inept desires. And at some point, she'll evaluate her. Not that the girl wasn't brilliant enough already.
"Very well then. I approve." She said, standing up, and allowing a hand to help Haki up as well. They looked pretty horrible. Women should never cry, unless they were happy. "Man, we can't ever look this bad in front of anyone again. Haha!" The quicker, the better, right? She looked at Haki, getting serious now yet still with her smile. "I assume there was a reason you were here. To train I bet, no? Wouldn't you rather head to the Academy or Dojo with me?" She suggested. Perhaps her peers could help alleviate some stress. And maybe make some friends while at it. Also, it just didn't feel so right leaving Haki in a sparse environment. And it's not like they still had to train together. They could just be in different sectors. Yet, she just figured that with her student being in the company of other people would sorta help.
Almost. She almost said yes but then Haki remembered that Daitomi had been there....that she might still be there. And that was one person Haki refused to go near "I-I"d rather just study here. I have some techniques I'd rather not show anyone." she replied softly, smiling awkwardly as she took Doki's hand and stood "Thank you though." giving a little bow, Haki stepped back and grabbed her bag, holding it to her stomach as she waited for Doki to leave.
Can you withstand the change?
Don't do what you think I want! Do what you want to make me want it.
Posted: Thu Jan 10, 2013 3:29 am
KodokiDokijima ❝ Perform at least one good deed a day....❞
Doki had a legitimate feeling about that. Her saying that she wanted to stay here after all. Well, if that's what she wanted and felt was necessary. Doki nodded, giving her an unusual look before leaving the area. Be safe, Haki.
"A man might befriend a wolf, even break a wolf..."
Daisuke ran into the ancient ruins and looked around for his sister. Once again his search was fruitless as he found hide nor hair of his sister growling he punched a nearby pillar causing his knuckles to split and blood to flow from his hand. He turned around his haori flaring out from the action as he sprinted away there were only a few more places to check before he gave up his search and asked doki if she knew where his sister was. [Exit]
Title: Patrol the village! Rank: C, A Information: The village is on alert, and shinobi are required to patrol the village and look for anyone, or thing, that doesn't rightfully belong! If you find an enemy shinobi, kill or capture them! Don't let them leave with any info! Solo or Squad: Variable Minimum Posts: One post in every thread in the village Note: Becomes Rank A mission if enemy is discovered.
~Kumogakure | Genin | Katei no Neko | Class: Tamer/Taijutsu | Chakra 275/275 | Stamina: 225/225~
Igarashi and Renji traveled for a while till they reached the ruins. She had no idea what the teacher would be like. Renji then looked at Igarashi and then out at the ruins. Igarashi was taking in the sights of the place it felt so calm there and she felt at peace. She went over to a huge stone wall that seemed to be covered by moss and was broken in places. She then climbed up on it using her balance she sat down Renji sitting near her on the ground by the wall. Sitting there she started to hum waiting for the teacher to arrive.
