The Corrupt-a-Wish Game

[bandaidd]

Granted! You wake up a Legoman in Joey's toy box. It's dark in there and you're at the bottom and have no soul, so you don't realize you are a Legoman, which is cool because you don't get bored or lonely in there and the light doesn't hurt your eyes a year later when he is finally old enough to open said toybox and it doesn't hurt when he pulls you apart and swallows your pieces. You don't notice the xrays going through you when his mom takes him to the doctor and aren't even aware of basically being surrounded by fecal matter for 24 hours prior to being pooped out and flushed down the toilet, then joining all the other crap in the sewer on its way to the wastewater treatment plant settling tank before being incinerated, dumped into a landfill and biodegrading for who knows how long, but who cares? No one, not even you.

I kinda wish I knew how long it took incinerated Legos to biodegrade.  

[ThisEmptySoul]

Granted emotion_awesome But tomorrow will be extra shitty to make up for whatever misfortunes would have happened today.

I wish I would have gotten chocolate cherrios instead of caramel cherrios.  

[bandaidd]

Granted: you are a foot model. Tragic accidents do happen even to foot models though... and just after signing your first big contract you stupidly kicked the lawn mower while it was running and ruined your career before it had a chance to take off.

I wish I was a dragon.  

[Bao Sanniang]

Granted. A knight kills you.
I wish I had the ability to not age and to respawn (like in a video game) after getting killed.  

[babyshinobi]

Granted: u respawn just as the ps3 freezes.. neva to age again =)

i wish i had a clue =P  

[bandaidd]

Granted: It wasn't Colonel Mustard. Sadly, that doesn't help you a lot and you still can't figure out who stole your shoes and then the rest of the clothes from your house, and then the furniture and now all your toiletries are missing and you're sure you'll go home to an empty place tonight.

I wish the Psyzapp would lose some weight. I'm kind of worried about her health.  

[babyshinobi]

wish DENIED!
psyzapp declines into massive obesity and requires emergency surgery for their condition
i wish i had a doctorate to perform said operation  

[bandaidd]

Wish denied? You can't deny wishes in this thread. Sheesh. Now I'm feeling all bitter and shrivelled up inside and I still have to grant your wish. *sadface*
Granted. You have a stupid doctorate to perform said operation. You got it for $59.99 and 50 Count Chocula boxtops. You hate Count Chocula and fed it to your dog, who died of fake chocolate poisoning. With your fake doctorate, you decided to perform surgery on yourself and things didn't go well. You used disposable plastic picnic forks spoons and knives instead of instruments and drank ispropyl alcohol for anesthesia, so you threw up while trying to incise. You eventually removed 3 Gms of fat before passing out and found yourself in the hospital on IV antibiotics for which you will be paying whatever money you receive for the rest of your life. Hopefully you will get out of the hospital soon enough to keep your job. I'm not optimistic though.

I wish I was more optimistic.  

[QuietStorm XII]

Wish Granted!

You wake up the next morning, feeling optimistic. Too optimistic. Your throat itches a little, but you think nothing but simple allergies. The irritation continues during breakfast, but you figure a little orange juice and you will be fine. You fail to realize that a spider has climbed into your mouth the night before and is currently biting and clawing onto your vocal chords to avoid being washed down your stomach. Being a Redback Spider ( Cousin to the Black Widow, Google that S### ), its venom quickly spreads throughout your body and your throat literally caves in on itself. Due to lack of oxygen, you pass out and face plant in your bowl of cheerios. As you slowly die, you smile because... at least this box of cheerios came with a toy.

I wish I was a little bit taller.  

[lady leko-chan]

done - but now you have this rabbit in a hat neutral
You are stuck with it sorry.

I wish it would be high of 80 instead of 115 today  

[QuietStorm XII]

Granted, but this confuses the birds in your neighborhood into thinking that winter is coming early. As they fly south in haste, your car is covered in droppings. They can't stop for bathroom breaks xd

I wish all summon all five lions of Voltron!  

[bandaidd]

Quietstorm, I'm gonna grant you this one only because you granted my wish soooo creatively. I was impressed nearly to death. My vocal cords still hurt from laughing.

You successfully summon all five lions of Voltron! Woo! The five robot lions combine to form Voltron and appear in front of you, mistaking you for the evil king Zarkon. Personally, I don't see the resemblance. But there it is. Maybe they were drugged or something. Anyway, you know how they feel about you and your plan to terrorize the lovely princess and people of Arus. You're liontoast, buddy.

I wish I had known you longer. I sort of miss you already.