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 Posted: Mon Jul 19, 2010 2:06 pm
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Posted: Wed Aug 25, 2010 1:05 pm
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Posted: Fri Oct 01, 2010 8:09 pm
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Posted: Fri Oct 01, 2010 8:12 pm
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Posted: Fri Oct 01, 2010 8:13 pm
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Posted: Fri Oct 01, 2010 8:18 pm
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Posted: Fri Oct 01, 2010 9:16 pm
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Posted: Tue Oct 26, 2010 8:03 pm
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Posted: Tue Oct 26, 2010 9:48 pm
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Posted: Tue Oct 26, 2010 9:55 pm
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Oh, god. xD This is funny just to read!
"I do too have a life! But it's in a shoebox in my closet, and the penguin with a machete and his horde of hamsters won't let me have it back. Something about hurting it's feelings."
"Pass the salt, I'm a lady."
"Oh god. He's got the rape trailer."
"Are you positive?" "Only fools are positive." "Are you sure?" "Positive!"
"If you [insert action to do], swimsuit models will parade through your room at your whim, and do whatever you ask. For free."
Ending any particularly long, drawn out description with "Like Zorro."
"I could really go for a super special ultra deluxe high five right about now. -pause- But not with you. You're not my type."
"Hmm, nope. He wouldn't look good in ranch. Not your type."
"So... since I've officially derailed that train, turned it into a spaceship and launched that thought onto outer space..."
"Be more Pacific." / "You're being too Atlantic!"
"You make it sound like I just tripped and there happened to be an erection there..."
"...I'll beat you with a lettuce leaf."
-in response to being called a dork/stupid/etc.- "And you like it! -gasp- How scandalous!"
"At least I'm adorable."
-in place of 'yes, that's right'- "Guilty as charged. Be gentle with the cuffs please, ma'am."
"I'll get the Super Fantastical Love-Chain of Fan Inspirational Goodness!"
"I need an adult! Oh, damn, I am an adult. I need a dead person!"
"Don't worry, she's just checking out my a**."
"But my horse has a sexy a**!"
"Kitten 'splosion in 3...2...1..." -sticks hand in a litter of kittens-
"Hi, my name is [Dante_Sonata], and I'm dating a Vampire. But she doesn't sparkle. Or bite me. Much. Enough."
"Do I need to get my purple box out?"
"You're such a Dock. I should park my boat in your ear."
"Canada doesn't exist. All Canadians are secretly Geese in people costumes."
"You've come to steal my p***s, haven't you?"
"Someone could grab a fork and do some forking in there."
"You hurt my manly feelings. All one of them."
"I like it on top. It's breezy up here."
"Turtles are the awkward teenage growth stage of sharks."
"Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" "Yeah, but where are we gonna get handcuffs and a Little Bo Peep costume?"
"I'm just dancing to the music in [Dante_Sonata]'s pants."
"You go girl! Show 'em that rack!"
-when I say something strange... er than normal.- "And did you see a pink unicorn this morning and wish it was blue?" me: "-sigh- Yeaaah."
"Or I could sit here and play with myself until you decide to pay attention."
"My computer's broken. -pause- Oh, yeah, baby. It's naked time."
"Human Centipede."
"If you have a cheesy spoon, you might want to get that looked at."
"It was totally your fork's fault. It was laying there all hot and naked, and my fork couldn't resist."
"Did you ever get those forking mittens made?"
"He seems to have a burning sensation... a fair bit higher than where you're thinking about."
"n****e BABIES!"
"Shh, don't talk. The Carnivorous Oreos are loose in the ventilation system, and they'll attack if you talk too much. Oh god... the creamy blood..."
"Fish stick strike!"
"Got Snik-Snak?"
"Is that a treat in your pocket or are you just here to feed me?"
"I'd love you even if you spent three hours describing to me, in detail, with pictures, the boil that is growing on your derriere, even if there are maggots involved. Especially if there are maggots involved. But if you turn into a maggot zombie I'm shooting you."
"Emergency Zombie Apocalypse Drill! Quick, where are my panties?!"
"I'm sorry, sir, but your symptoms can only mean one thing. Zombie Crotch Rot. Fortunately, there is a cure. Superglue. That'll be $100 and a signed promise to not eat my brains."
"And that was with just one finger. Imagine if I used two."
"Snack, Crapple, Pop."
"Oh, a pizza? For me? With extra sausage! Oh my, just how I like it. ♥ Please, sir, my plumbing is in dire need of your attentions. What? You're just a pizza boy? Too bad, suck it up and use your tool on my pipes! -whip- >D"
"So the other day, I was playing with my R/C boat, and thinking about my new boat back home. It's a pretty sexy boat, you know. Nice, smooth curves, handles well. I've only gotten to paddle it around a little, but I'm hoping to open up the engine soon and do some real boating. And maybe sometime we can try jetskiing, but I won't do any white water rafting. That's just freaky. Sure glad I sunk that last ship -- he was a real downer."
Ahah, we have way too many inside jokes. xD
Ah, if you want details, PM me. :3
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Posted: Tue Oct 26, 2010 11:37 pm
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"Best frands...?"
"SPRINGY!"
"Crikey mate! Those pancakes smell like burnt plastic!"
"Your FACE."
"Chicken - HEY IT'S DONNY!"
"I LOVE HUGS."
"HUGS LOVE YOU."
"This song is about sexual intercourse...I hope no one's offended..."
"Mammoths. The end."
"Dance dance...REVOLUTION."
"So...about that polygamous society..."
"You found another one?"
"Your hips are like slip 'n' slide!"
"Go make sure the baby won't die."
"Africa isn't as big is Michigan."
"Can we just get married?"
"Again?"
"Pockets. Oh baby."
"Pelvic...THRUST."
"APPRECIATE!"
"Don't hit the cow!"
"Gotta catch 'em all...which ones you want?"
"Just herpes and AIDs, please. With a side order of chlamydia."
"I recognise yo' FACE."
"So....this morning I couldn't find my pants. And for some reason, when I did find them, they were under my bed, covered in dust. I don't know why, I think they'd only been under there since last night..."
"How drunk WERE you?"
"Never mind that, what's for breakfast?"
"Kara, I LOVE you!"
"Girl, she's black."
"Meep."
"I HAVE SPOTTED A WILD [Insert friend's name here]! I HAVE DISTURBED THEM FROM THEIR SLEEP! WHAT WILL I DO? ...... MASTER BALLS, I CHOOSE YOU!"
"Have I told you today that I love you?"
"Stop hugging random people...they don't know your name."
If you want details, PM me. XD |
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Posted: Wed Oct 27, 2010 4:05 am
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Posted: Fri Oct 29, 2010 10:05 pm
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Posted: Fri Oct 29, 2010 11:21 pm
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"Get the cards, forks, and spoon out, it's time to play Lesbian."
"You really need some Pop rocks right now, and I'm not giving you them."
"How about we get some Toast while at the hospital?"
"Speeling."
"Teleporter."
"Pink, fuzzy handcuffs."
"All Canadians are liars, for the exception of Miles."
"Mree!"
"Spandex!~"
"Stupid Chris!" "Stupid Megan!"
"Sesame street Broke back Mountain style!"
"Loto."
"FOAD!"
"Squiggy in the tree with a piece of bread!"
"Your uterus IN HEELS!"
"Genie ACK!!!"
"Aqua taco."
"I'm actually quite nice."
"You can't see me!" Then putting your hands over your eyes.
"Have you seen the number 5? He owes the purple cow some money."
"I rule you!"
"Remember the fight me and you had over Santa's cookies....? Good times..."
Sigh and hold out your hand.
"Surprise!" Then poking someones nose.
"Demonic duck!"
"Remember the time you forgot you were speaking?"
"Don't give her a glass of water."
"Oh, hear her cackling? She must be scheming."
"It's a gazebo Dave."
"I want to be inside the bubble!"
"Meow Meow Crazy Cat."
"Bye Ozone, bye!"
"Stop laughing so hard! I don't want you peeing my pants!"
Start tapping your nose then start tracing your finger all over your face.
"Freddy likes your face."
"I'm not a scientist, I'm a DOCTOR!" "No you're not." "I know, I was just getting into character."
"Can I stick my finger up your nose?"
"Porque tu mama!"
"Boob tag!"
"Is it true that once you go black, you never go back?"
"Creepy clown song."
"Duct tape."
"Is there something on my face?"
"Is there nothing on my face?"
"Madam Butterfly."
"James."
Raise your hands in the air slowly.
"Shhh, no one knows I'm gay."
"I sold you for 30 bucks as a bag of oranges."
"Name a state."
"2 minutes!"
There's lots more I just don't want to keep going... xP |
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Butterscotch Faerie Tales
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Posted: Sat Oct 30, 2010 12:35 pm
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Reply
