Magical Soda Machine

[Angelicphrase]

Gets spanking clean dishes and a bill for 34.50$ for the labor

Inserts banana cream pie  

[Filia_Nox_Noctis]

Gets one very confused clown named Professor Bubbles

Inserts Unicorn Horn  

[-Stumblefoot-]

Gets arrested for beasteality!!! redface !!!

Inserts peguses  

[MojinR]

gets odd looks the doctor when they find out you attempted to have intercourse with a mystical horse

inserts fleshlight  

[Filia_Nox_Noctis]

Gets friction sores in a sensitive area. twisted

Inserts tin full of cookies.  

[MojinR]

Gets tin full of crumbs

inserts self-loathing  

[Filia_Nox_Noctis]

Gets bill for Psychiatric Counseling.

Inserts 20 sided die.  

[Nei1]

Gets a saving throw from a lich.
Inserts the lich.  

[MojinR]

gets to live forever as long as something doesn't destroy your Phylactery.

Inserts phylactery  

[-Stumblefoot-]

gets Torah text and a funny strap mark across forehead

Inserts proto matter  

[Angelicphrase]

Gets an explosion

Inserts ancient Inca warriors  

[wiccan j]

gets speared when I try to grab the ‘tapac-yauri

inserts Stephen Lynch  

[MojinR]

gets the irresistible urge to sing Craig Christ in front of a devoted Christian audience

inserts The Pick of Destiny  

[wiccan j]

gets "The Bong of Destiny" (and part of satan's horn)

inserts when harry met sally  

[Azred Crimlean]

Gets memories of being extremely bored watching that film.

Inserts a Prince Albert