Welcome to Gaia! ::

Reply LITERATURE
Poems of mine

Quick Reply

Enter both words below, separated by a space:

Can't read the text? Click here

Submit

So, what do you think?
  Good
  Eh..
  -stare-
  What on earth did you write?
  Just gimme' the gold -me: fine *throws it at you*-
View Results

Tsalagi1923

Enduring Shapeshifter

8,800 Points
  • Invisibility 100
  • Mark Twain 100
  • Friendly 100
PostPosted: Tue Jul 31, 2007 10:09 pm
My first friend...united in heart and mind

We both wandered in the dark
searching for someone to call safe
We searched with searches comng up empty
but we kept on.

We were getting close to giving up
sure that no one would show
when we almost decided to give up
that was when we met.

The effect was instant
we knew we would be safe
we knew that no one could harm us
as long as we were together.

We went through the little bit of Elementary school
that was left
and then got seperated at Junior High
but we were still united in heart and mind.

Junior High ended
and we still were not able to go to school together
but still we remained
united in heart and mind.

We played together
even when we were supposed to be asleep
but we kept quiet
so we wouldn't get caught.

Now we are miles and miles apart
farther than we have ever been
and it hurts to be so far away
but it is not the end.

We will meet again
that I am sure
and we will always remain
united in heart and mind.

*Dedicated to the first friend that I ever had.


Why did you do it?

Why did you do it,
why did you lie to me?
Did you have a good reason,
or did you just take advantage of me?
Will I ever get an answer,
or will I forever be in the dark?
I looked up to you,
like a child is supposed to look up to a parent.
You were like a father,
a father I never had.
You destroyed a part of me,
but I am striving to put it back together.
You helped me piece back my life,
only now you try and tear it apart again.
Tell me,
why did you do it?
Did I become a burden,
or did you just get tired of hearing me?
You lied to me,
the last person I would have thought would do such a thing.
You said you would be there for me,
yet now you are no longer there.
Is there a guy out there,
who will not act this way?
If so,
I long to meet him.
Tell me,
why did you do it?

*Dedicated to someone I once saw as a father figure.


Where are you?

I need you here with me
whoever you are
I don't know when or where
we will meet
but I hope it is soon
You're funny
and you make me feel special
You look at me on a bad day
and say everything is all right
Whenever you say it
I know it is true
Where are you
my lonley heart asks
It wonders
if it will ever find true love
It thought so at once
but now it knows different
He was not the one
none of them were
So I ask again
in desperation
where are you?

*Dedicated to the guy in the future who will be my husband


Thank You

You can be a bit loony at times,
but you're still great.
You're always there,
when I need you.
You have helped me tear down some masks,
and walls.
Masks and walls,
I have had up for fifteen years.
Now I am sixteen,
with no added masks or walls.
You are a lifesaver,
and for that I thank you.
You know what to say,
and you aren't afraid to say the truth.
Even though at times I may not want to heat it,
you say it anyway and it helps.
So once again from the depth of my heart,
Julia, I thank you.

*Dedicated to a wonderful friend.
 
PostPosted: Fri Feb 08, 2008 3:02 pm
To me, the poems seems to lack a rhythm in some places, while it has it in other places. I'm not usually one to read long poems like those, but overall they weren't so bad.  

Ichinilla

Friendly Gekko

6,025 Points
  • Friendly 100
  • Generous 100
  • Forum Regular 100

Ravea Tuhnear

3,200 Points
  • Treasure Hunter 100
  • Gaian 50
  • Cart Raider 100
PostPosted: Sat Oct 18, 2008 11:39 am
yeah i kinda agree with Ichinilla. it's hard to find the rythm, the tought prosses, and the actualy meaning and fealing of the poems are good though, but maybe they could be reworded to tht the rythm flows better....

sweatdrop  
Reply
LITERATURE

 
Manage Your Items
Other Stuff
Get GCash
Offers
Get Items
More Items
Where Everyone Hangs Out
Other Community Areas
Virtual Spaces
Fun Stuff
Gaia's Games
Mini-Games
Play with GCash
Play with Platinum