Sitting at the crossroads...

[earthbound_87]

So, I'm having a bit of an issue lately. About 2 years ago, my father underwent gender reassignment surgery. For those of you who don't know what that means, my dad, became a woman. My mom decided to stay with him/her throughout all this, which forced me to stay as well. I don't agree with what my father did, not because of what s/he did, but because of the lies I was told, and the utter torment of what s/he put my family through (We live in a small town, so we lived in the closet, telling lies about our family). I still have alot of anger towards that, and I'm in the position to just walk out of dealing with it. However, I've been told by my mom that if I choose to cut my father out of my life, I choose to cut her out too.
I'm confused...I don't even know what to do...
I love my mom, but I don't know if I can deal with my other parent because of our history...  

[Sprockette]

Well this is an interesting situation,but I think you should accept your fathers decision.Maybe this change helped him be who he wanted to be.And your mother loves him,she wants to make your father happy.In my opinion,she's just trying keep peace.
But what lies have you been told? It's a little unclear right there.But there's not much you cando,but just be honest if your feelings.  

[Calypsophia]

earthbound_87

So, I'm having a bit of an issue lately. About 2 years ago, my father underwent gender reassignment surgery. For those of you who don't know what that means, my dad, became a woman. My mom decided to stay with him/her throughout all this, which forced me to stay as well. I don't agree with what my father did, not because of what s/he did, but because of the lies I was told, and the utter torment of what s/he put my family through (We live in a small town, so we lived in the closet, telling lies about our family). I still have alot of anger towards that, and I'm in the position to just walk out of dealing with it. However, I've been told by my mom that if I choose to cut my father out of my life, I choose to cut her out too.
I'm confused...I don't even know what to do...
I love my mom, but I don't know if I can deal with my other parent because of our history...

wow.. rather a unique situation you have here. right off the top I agree your father should be accepted for what he is. I think it's a wonderful thing that your mother has the strength of love to accept this monumental change. I honestly dont think I could do it myself... as much as I like and respect gay folks.. I'm straight.. and if I married straight that is how I'd expect it to be and wouldnt be happy suddenly waking up every morning with another woman next to me. I hope it doesnt prove to be too much for her.

I dont know what the lies you mentioned were about.. so I guess my next opinion should really depend on that.. what were the nature of these lies exactly? whatever the case may be, maybe try to cultivate the attitude of understanding and compassion of what internal conflict your father had been going thru coupled with living in a small closed-minded town possibly filled with nosey neighbors who would be mercilessly judgemental. perhaps he lied to you because maybe he feared you'd lose respect for him as well. your father is human and making mistakes (which includes bad judgement calls) is a human trait. it's only hind sight that has 20/20 vision. but I dont know. I'd need to know the nature of the lies he told you to better understand.  

[The Golden Pheonix]

Wow umm Veeerrrrryyyyy unique situation. Does s/he say they still love you and try to include you in their life? Have you found out the reasons behind the change? I think you need to understand the situation a bit more clearly. Or at least explain it to us more clearly.  

[Guardian1239]

You first have to understand that your father is no different from before. Besides his appearance, he's the same person. I don't blame you for feeling strange if he starts acting different, but he's still the same person on the inside. He's just being more honest to himself and everyone else.  

[newtypephynix]

hmmm... interesting. Well. Your 'Father' was the blood from which you sprang to being, wether you like it or not, and, ALL humans live with lies, lies will always and forever dance around the truth like little tribal primates.

Your 'Father' is happy? right? Why can you not be glad that some of the lies are over? is it not selfish to even consider abandoning those whom you once called 'Family'?

I turned my back on family ties. I would give my eyes to change it to how it was...You are never utterly alone until you are without Family.

My advice is given with thoughts on the hard times I endured, that I belief no other should endure when faced with a choice. Stay, Forgive. Love.

Hard it may be, But all roads lead to Hardship. only few may lead to hapiness.  

[duo7700]

newtypephynix

hmmm... interesting. Well. Your 'Father' was the blood from which you sprang to being, wether you like it or not, and, ALL humans live with lies, lies will always and forever dance around the truth like little tribal primates.

Your 'Father' is happy? right? Why can you not be glad that some of the lies are over? is it not selfish to even consider abandoning those whom you once called 'Family'?

I turned my back on family ties. I would give my eyes to change it to how it was...You are never utterly alone until you are without Family.

My advice is given with thoughts on the hard times I endured, that I belief no other should endure when faced with a choice. Stay, Forgive. Love.

Hard it may be, But all roads lead to Hardship. only few may lead to hapiness.

crying He speaks the truth. Forgive her. The worst thing you can do is ostracize yourself from your family. You doing that may well cause the very foundations to begin to crumble, leading to the entire family not speaking to one another for a while.  

[Loki god of BS]

from my stand point i sincerely disagree with his choice not that i'm trying to be judgmental or anything.
Perhaps you should talk to your dad or your mom because you shouldn't have to live like that. but you have to keep in mind the outcome if you were to leave.  

[Naitomosu]

He is so wrong for making that choice. Call him/her DAD. Because he is a man. God made him a boy for a reason.

And yes, go ahead and flame me. I know I have high morals. IDC