Writing To A Prisoner**Updated 9/13

[BlueberryJoy]

I had a similar topic in LI a few weeks ago, but I wanted to ask an older crowd about this.

I'm writing to someone in prison. It isn't just some random con, but more specifically, my best friend from HS's nephew. I knew him when he was growing up. His mother (my friend's sister) is also a friend, and a great person. Somewhere along the way, the young man found himself with the wrong crowd, and now he's paying the price for trying to run with the bad boys. He isn't even eligible for parole for another 30 years or so.

Question: does anyone here write to prisoners? And if so, what sort of things do you write about? I know I don't have much in common with this kid, but I feel at least compelled to communicate with him.

*******UPDATE! I wrote to him, and he wrote me back. biggrin Thanks, guys, for the great advice. He's getting vocational training in cable/electrician work for the eventuality that he'll be released on probation. It's been 2 years since his sentence, and his case was just reopened for appeals a couple of months ago, so he's doing the best he can. I'm very glad I wrote to him. 3nodding  

[FallenSammy]

My older brother went to prison not for that long and i was never sure of what to write to him, it's hard but the communication is what matters anything to let them know that they are still thought of and not alone will help them. and like fairy-nuff said keep it upbeat and you never know you may find you have stuff in common that you'd never even thought of.  

[otakuskater]

I was not able to write to a family friend and a distant relative when they were in prison. My parents forbade it because of shame. But, when they got out, the question I have asked first is how are they doing.

My friend have changed for the better *back then, he got in a wrong crowd because he brags a lot and got easily influenced with drugs.* I was able to talk to him more because that time, my parents were not around when I went to his home. He asked me why I didn't wrote to him and I told him the reason: his aunt *she's married to my uncle* told me to write to him which ma interrupts our conversation saying "she doesn't know him that well. He told me how he was coping; he didn't neglect the books sent to him by his relatives.

Then my relative also got into drugs and have a worse case since he almost killed his brother-in-law. He got deported and therefore been going house to house. He stayed once to sleep. I felt disappointed because my parents could not treat him like the way they used to and sent me to go to my room just after asking a question. I eavesdrop from my room, listening to the conversation like ma said "why waste your life when you can get what you want?" He was sent away the next day to another relative.

If I got the opportunity to write to the two of them, I would keep them up to date on what's happening to the people they knew: family and true friends. If they write back, I would honestly answer them. I would send them things that they need *especially new clothes* or if I am able to visit them, I would get their old clothes. I'll treat them how the way I treated them before they were sent to prison. I make them remember that I am not like my parents but who I really am to them.  

[FallenSammy]

I find it hard to believe someone would actually be ashamed to write to a relative or friend in prison that is an awful shame. People need understandin and compassion if people weren't so selfish and self centred then this world could be a whole lot nicer!!! ooh i get so worked up about these things!  

[Lady_Niqui]

I write to my sister. Probably not as often as I should but whenever I get the chance I tell her about whats going on in my life and about family members she's not in contact with. Funny things I've seen or heard, and we both love music so I talk about that too. It's hard to know what to say sometimes but I try to just say what I would say if she was sitting next to me.  

[Mr Fitzroy]

As said earlier, anything you think is mundane can be interesting to a prisoner. While I was never a prisoner I Do relate it a bit to boot camp and what I wanted to read while going through it. Any little chat you would have at the dinner table is good. Weather, news, just to how your day went. They key is to say "Hey I was sitting here doing this or that and just thought of you" You will be suprised how much that can mean to someone who is feeling locked away and forgotten  

[otakuskater]

FallenSammy

I find it hard to believe someone would actually be ashamed to write to a relative or friend in prison that is an awful shame. People need understandin and compassion if people weren't so selfish and self centred then this world could be a whole lot nicer!!! ooh i get so worked up about these things!

I agree with you. If only my parents open up their minds and their hearts to realized how they have hurt the people they used to know.  

[connielass]

My fiance was in jail for a few months for parole violation.
We wrote back and forth about how our days were going, things we were doing, we sent cards on the appropriate days... or he tried to send cards.. they don't get their choice of what cards they get.
In our case, both being people who value our privacy, it was hard to write some things knowing complete strangers would be reading our letters.

One thing you should do is go to the kid's mother and ask if you need to be on an approved list. A lot of jails do that: he has to put you on the list of people he's approved to call and receive mail from. You also have to know his inmate number, and include it as part of the address.

If it turns out you can write to him, ask him if he's getting any exercise, or if he's taking any classes, general things like that.  

[RadicalEd]

My uncle was in prison for five years and I wrote to him as much as I could. It was a great opportunity to become close to him. I would write to him not only when I needed to get something off my chest, but more to tell him the things I was going through in my life. It's important not to bog them down with drama and hardships that you go through, but it is also good to tell them about things that are happening outside of prison. Give them room to write back and tell you their feelings, how they are dealing with being in prison, and the things they go through themselves.

I actually have another friend in jail right now that I am not that close to, so it is sort of awkward to open up to him the way I did my uncle. Even if you don't have much to say, though, still write. Just tell them what you're up to, or talk about common people you know, maybe.  

[ladyshari]

Write things in general, hows the weather, keep him up on family news..  

[medea malfoy]

Mr Fitzroy

As said earlier, anything you think is mundane can be interesting to a prisoner. While I was never a prisoner I Do relate it a bit to boot camp and what I wanted to read while going through it. Any little chat you would have at the dinner table is good. Weather, news, just to how your day went. They key is to say "Hey I was sitting here doing this or that and just thought of you" You will be suprised how much that can mean to someone who is feeling locked away and forgotten

i was in the service also and have to agree with this guy