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Posted: Tue Sep 23, 2008 7:14 am
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Posted: Tue Sep 23, 2008 5:12 pm
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Posted: Tue Sep 23, 2008 5:29 pm
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Posted: Tue Sep 23, 2008 10:56 pm
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Posted: Wed Sep 24, 2008 1:49 am
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If the parents are the source of the problems, that makes it really hard. My parents have caused me the worst pain in my life and it is really hard to take - being anywhere near my house or around them hurts me so much. This is hard because you don't know which way to go, and who to trust. Wounds take a really long time to heal, because learning to open up and trust again is really hard - especially if you've done so before and been slapped in the face. What you can do is be there for him. That's all you can do. Be there to hold his hand, laugh and cry with him, even when he says he doesn't want you there - he does, but he's probably so scared of hurting either you or himself. Even when he seems really bad in shape, be there. Ask him how his life is, and ask him is he is all right. If you think he's lying, look into his eyes and ask him to tell the truth. He may be evasive about it, but one of my friends kept on doing this to me when I was closed up and you have no idea how much it helped me - even if I did hate it at the time. Don't force him into anything, but just don't give up on him - you probably have no idea how much he loves you being there to tell him what he doesn't want to hear - he's worth it, you love him, etc. Although he may feel ashamed at the moment for hurting you or himself, he does love you and if you stand by him the message will get through in the end. So every day, tell him you love him tell him what you love about him reminisce about one good time you had together Ask him if he's okay Look him in the eyes and ask him to tell the truth. And most importantly, tell him you forgive him. tell him it isn't his fault, you aren't mad at him, you'll stay. These are the words he needs to hear, the words that will begin to heal him. It is immensely hard to forgive yourself (you feel guilty about so many things that aren't true when you are crashing down) and to have somebody else forgive you, to take you despite your faults and mistakes, is a feeling that I can't put into words. I really hope this helps in some way - sorry if it's a long post. Good luck, and keep faith - don't give up on him, he needs you most at the moment, though he might not say it. heart
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Posted: Thu Sep 25, 2008 1:07 pm
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Posted: Sun Sep 28, 2008 1:45 pm
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