Saritasunshine's Poetry

[saritasunshine]

((I'll list all of my poetry here. I hope you like it. I've turned most of it in for classes or contests. Tell me what you think. x3))

My Sunrise Journal

Night
First nothing
But faint stars
Pricks of helpful light
Simple non-existence

Five A.M.
Beautiful blue appears
An infant made
Out of nothing
Blue comes
From the black abyss
Open blue
Hopeful blue
Short-lived

5:30 A.M.
Sickly lavender petals
Paint the sky
Choke
On its sweetness
Suffocating
Unnatural
Ominous

6:00 A.M.
The sun burns
The sky
Setting it alight.
It laughs mockingly
At those nocturnal creatures
Unable to adjust
To its intensity
They shy away
From the light
To hide alone
Until blackness comes again

In the midst of change
Peace
Roses tickle the clouds
Soft, beautiful
Is this transformation
Too short
To truly enjoy its sweetness?
How long can the blazing sun
Be kept at bay
By my pink sunrise?  

[saritasunshine]

Icy Abyss
Your face
I see it when I dream
Blonde hair, pain
In your eyes I can see it
Eyes gone grey
With misery
Swirling storm clouds
Thundering with loneliness

A hurricane blasts
Through once calm waters
Tearing
Ripping
Drowning
Doves struck
Out of the air to die
In an inferno of hate

Trees rustle in high winds
Their gentle leaves
Like guns against
Glass windows
Boats sink into
Swirling depths
Suffocating abyss

You too have been lost
Slipping into its icy grip
Never to return
Grey eyes staring
Blankly back at me
No life
No soul
Only destruction

Should I reach out to you?
Into the deathly water
Let the chills reach me
Spreading darkness into my heart?
You’re gone
Waiting for me
In the blackest of nights.

 

[saritasunshine]

Plague

Gliding across these familiar halls,
Killing all who touch it,
The darkness creeps amongst the crowds,
Soon all shall perish,
Contagious, it spreads,
From selfish, quarreling parents,
To trusting, unaware children,
I stand alone,
Soul survivor between the two,
But surrounded by the darkness for too long,
I too shall be infected,

Far away from this sickness,
Safety lies,
Among worried friends,
Standing with outstretched arms,
Waiting to receive me,
Tempting me to leave the darkness behind,
To abandon those I love,
To let them writhe in the dark alone,
With no one to care for them,
With no one to slow their deaths,
To mourn for their loss,

Stay or leave?
Hide among these beloved rooms and surely die,
Give into the evil that dwells inside me,
Cease to be,
Flee from certain death,
To the ones closest to me,
Beg for help,
And only bring the darkness with me?

 

[saritasunshine]

The Burning Film

Before this,
A life like a silent film,
Black and white,
Flickering on the edges,
A slap-stick woman with wild hair,
Dances past the screen,
Trying desperately to invoke laughter,
Imitating other greater actors,
No words spill off her tongue,
The mouth moves but the throat,
Frozen and broken as it is,
Is unable to make a sound,
The image is scratchy,
As though the strip it is made of,
May break apart at any moment,
Dissipating into black,
Burning on the projector,
Flames lick the strict frames,
Orange light consumes the orderly pictures,
Chaotically scattering the remains,
Falling apart at its base,
Flickering loneliness sears into a colorless heart,
Staining it instead with its own colors,
The red of hatred,
The attention-seeking orange,
The irritating yellow,
The blue of a drowning soul,
The black ash of living death,
Its smoldering embers last eternally,
Heated by the memories of a broken projector long destroyed,
Of an orderly life that can never exist again,
It scars the heart past healing,
Branding the soul with darkness,
One would say that a person would do anything,
To cease the pain of the eternal fire,
But is the film truly better than what has resulted?
Is it better to live in a sea of red,
Or be devoid of color entirely?
Scream out in agony,
Or fake a smile through silent lips?
If I had a choice between,
The pains of Hell or emotionless Purgatory,
I say let there be fire.

 

[My BlAcK sTaR sHiNe]

Holy sxht! your write BEAUTIFUL poetry!!!!!! BRAVO!!!!!!! Wow, I envy you lol. Keep up the EXCELLENT work! cant wait to read more!  

[Master SBK]

Critique for: My Sunrise Journal

overall impression: I liked it. U give a nice gradual sense of the surroundings as dawn approaches. There is almost a dark sweetness to the way u described the time of day.

What kinda threw me off though was how u start of most of the stanzas with a specific time (e.g. 5 A.M., 5:30 AM) but the others are just general titles like night and the really confusing in the midst of change. The latter especially wasn't consistent with the rest of the poem. I would just stick to a consistent format and go with it for the entirety of the piece.

But like I said, I enjoyed it overall. Good luck with your other writings and I hope my comments helped.
 

[Felix Avis]

Awesome! 3nodding