I am trying my absolute hardest to keep this short. I have a huge problem with conciseness.
So, I've liked this guy for two years. I'll be seventeen in two days, he's already seventeen, both in grade eleven. In short, he left school halfway through last semester, due to health problems, and then he just came back to school Monday. It messed me up and frustrated me, because I was getting used to being without him, I was starting to love myself, fighting to be independent, but I know now (reading back on my older blogs) that he was the thing missing from my life, I missed him so badly, I wasn't truly happy. But I'm happy now, he's back, I actually want to wake up in the morning. I have one class with him now, last block English.
On Friday, I'd brought my guitar, since we wrote short stories and had to do something creative for them. So I wrote a really shitty love story, and I'm planning on writing a song over the Spring Break to compliment it. Anyway, so I was failing at writing this song, and he was sitting in a place that every time I looked up from my place on the floor, I'd see him. He kept looking at me, though I wasn't sure if it was just because I had a really hot guitar in my arms (seriously, it's amazing, and he complimented me so many times on it). This isn't really unusual, though; I've caught him looking at me lots of times.
And so my friend, who was helping me write, implemented the evil plan she'd taunted me with the whole night before and the whole day; she went and asked him to help us. It wasn't so bad; actually, it was great. Both he and I are avid guitarists. We basically just fiddled around with the guitar, passed it around, talked guitar, laughed, hung out. It was so much fun. He even lingered afterward for a while, then said he had to go to rehearsal, but then stayed and talked with two other girls that were left in the class; jealous! O;
But now I don't know what to do. I don't know what he thinks of me; I mean, sometimes I catch him looking at me, but I'm never the girl he talks to. I'm not pretty like they are; I mean, I think my face is beautiful, but I'm not skinny. At all. Yet when he talks to me, when we hang out like that, he makes me feel beautiful in every way.
And I'm pretty sure his looks mean next to nothing. But then he confuses me. When we get off the bus together, he'll match my pace, walk beside me, but he won't say anything. Which infuriates me, I'll always have to speak. And in the past, we've gone through little periods of speaking and not-speaking on a single trip to school; we spoke at the bus stop, but then not at all on the bus, then had a nice conversation walking to the school, but then he didn't say a word when we entered and left without a goodbye. His stupid actions like that make me bang my head against the wall. I don't know if he's just shy, or if he doesn't care about me at all.
I'm also having a big party on the fourth of April, celebration for my birthday, and I invited him, but he hasn't said anything about it (I didn't give it to him directly. I gave both their invites to his brother to pass on, as this was before he came back.) I'm planning on asking him about it. But my friend says I should wait to tell him how I feel until after the party, or during the party, but not before. I really just want to tell him and get it bloody well over with, I want a final answer for once and for all.
What do you wonderful girls think I should do?
I wanna hang out with him again. But every time in the past I've emailed him asking to hang out, it's never ended up working out. I don't want to annoy him with my persistence.
Buu. I don't know why I keep doing this. I think, like probably most of the other girls posting in here, we're all just wishin' for someone to say something that will make it all right.
Failed at conciseness. Sorry >.<;;;;;
So, I've liked this guy for two years. I'll be seventeen in two days, he's already seventeen, both in grade eleven. In short, he left school halfway through last semester, due to health problems, and then he just came back to school Monday. It messed me up and frustrated me, because I was getting used to being without him, I was starting to love myself, fighting to be independent, but I know now (reading back on my older blogs) that he was the thing missing from my life, I missed him so badly, I wasn't truly happy. But I'm happy now, he's back, I actually want to wake up in the morning. I have one class with him now, last block English.
On Friday, I'd brought my guitar, since we wrote short stories and had to do something creative for them. So I wrote a really shitty love story, and I'm planning on writing a song over the Spring Break to compliment it. Anyway, so I was failing at writing this song, and he was sitting in a place that every time I looked up from my place on the floor, I'd see him. He kept looking at me, though I wasn't sure if it was just because I had a really hot guitar in my arms (seriously, it's amazing, and he complimented me so many times on it). This isn't really unusual, though; I've caught him looking at me lots of times.
And so my friend, who was helping me write, implemented the evil plan she'd taunted me with the whole night before and the whole day; she went and asked him to help us. It wasn't so bad; actually, it was great. Both he and I are avid guitarists. We basically just fiddled around with the guitar, passed it around, talked guitar, laughed, hung out. It was so much fun. He even lingered afterward for a while, then said he had to go to rehearsal, but then stayed and talked with two other girls that were left in the class; jealous! O;
But now I don't know what to do. I don't know what he thinks of me; I mean, sometimes I catch him looking at me, but I'm never the girl he talks to. I'm not pretty like they are; I mean, I think my face is beautiful, but I'm not skinny. At all. Yet when he talks to me, when we hang out like that, he makes me feel beautiful in every way.
And I'm pretty sure his looks mean next to nothing. But then he confuses me. When we get off the bus together, he'll match my pace, walk beside me, but he won't say anything. Which infuriates me, I'll always have to speak. And in the past, we've gone through little periods of speaking and not-speaking on a single trip to school; we spoke at the bus stop, but then not at all on the bus, then had a nice conversation walking to the school, but then he didn't say a word when we entered and left without a goodbye. His stupid actions like that make me bang my head against the wall. I don't know if he's just shy, or if he doesn't care about me at all.
I'm also having a big party on the fourth of April, celebration for my birthday, and I invited him, but he hasn't said anything about it (I didn't give it to him directly. I gave both their invites to his brother to pass on, as this was before he came back.) I'm planning on asking him about it. But my friend says I should wait to tell him how I feel until after the party, or during the party, but not before. I really just want to tell him and get it bloody well over with, I want a final answer for once and for all.
What do you wonderful girls think I should do?
I wanna hang out with him again. But every time in the past I've emailed him asking to hang out, it's never ended up working out. I don't want to annoy him with my persistence.
Buu. I don't know why I keep doing this. I think, like probably most of the other girls posting in here, we're all just wishin' for someone to say something that will make it all right.
Failed at conciseness. Sorry >.<;;;;;
