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Posted: Thu Jul 16, 2009 6:14 am
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Posted: Thu Jul 16, 2009 8:41 am
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I'm a person that needs change. I'm not trying to make it seem tragic, all I'm saying is that I'm not capable of being happy with Colorado for the rest of my life. My friend loves it, she loves the mountains, she loves the city, she snowboards all the time and owns a jeep, she loves Colorado and she always will. I am not that person. I need change, I need something new. It's not a 'poor me', its a 'I don't get it'.
I've been in Denver, I don't mind it, it's just not cheap to live in. Not to mention my flaky friend is terrible with money, has no credit and the place she's working at is slowly going out of buisness, though she has yet to see it. So with no roommate I can't afford a whole lot on my own.
We're headed to Florida, opposite direction. And in all honesty, I really would love to live anywhere else than here. I've lived in the same area since I was three years old, I could drive myself to work, to the mall, to any super market, with my eyes closed. The only thing I like about where I live is that I'm about ten mins from the greatest road in Colorado (that never has any cops on it). Aside from that I have no connection to this state.
I feel like a missfit here. I've seen people in so many other places that are more like me, that I could understand and that understand me. And maybe it's because you didn't stay here as long as I have, but from what I've seen in this state, the people here are more self absorbed than anywhere else I've been. When we were in Venice we could sit down somewhere for lunch and end up leaving with a new friend.
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Posted: Thu Jul 16, 2009 9:16 pm
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Posted: Sat Jul 18, 2009 2:59 pm
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(I haven't read any of the other replies because I don't want to be swayed by anything anyone else has said; I'm only replying to The Last Chase's original post.)
The main theme of my advice is: you're young. Twenty-two is NOT old; you shouldn't be worried about having anything to show for yourself. A lot of people don't even have jobs in this economy, so be glad you at least have your embarrassing job. And if you don't like it, look for another one.
And yes, a lot of people have it worse. If you're not hooked on heroin or meth or any other hard drugs, if you're not homeless, if you don't have a debilitating mental or physical ailment/illness/handicap, if you're not being held hostage by terrorists, if you didn't have an unwanted pregnancy as a teen, or so many other much worse things I can think of, then thank your lucky stars!! Whenever I feel like crap I think about all the ways life could be worse and it makes me appreciate what I have and my advice to you is to do the same.
There are some things in life you can change and some you can't. Know the difference between the two and do something about the ones you can and make the best of the others.
You're embarrassed of where you work, so either start looking for another job or be glad that you have a job at all, because in this economy there are plenty of people who would gladly take any job over no job.
You hate the state you live in? That's normal and nothing to want to commit suicide over. I used to hate where I live but the things I used to hate about it, I actually like about it now. One example is, when I was your age and younger, I always complained there was "nothing to do" but now I like it because every time I go to a busy area I'm glad to get back home to where there is less traffic, crime, etc.
Friends will come and go. A bunch of my friends got married, had kids, moved away, etc., but my life is meaningful with or without those people. It sounds like the real problem is that you're not happy with yourself; it's not everything around you. I don't say that to make you feel worse, but to learn to love and like yourself and then you will be much happier. Don't look to others to validate your ego/self-esteem; learn to enjoy being by yourself.
Again, you're only 22; I wouldn't worry about having "nothing to show" for yourself. (And you've already been to college and you have a job; don't call that nothing...it's more than my 40-year-old sister has!!) I also used to feel that way; things will get better. I changed my major in college like four times and I still didn't know what to do with my life. My advice for your career is this: what do you REALLY enjoy doing? I mean REALLY? And is it something you can get paid to do? If the answer is yes, then DO IT. You don't want to be my age (37) and stuck being an Administrative Assistant at a power plant when you'd much rather be doing graphic design for video games or something and look forward to going to work.
Lastly, if you have any kind of counselor you can see locally, please go get some real therapy. While internet message boards are a nice way to vent, you need some face time with a real therapist. And good luck! biggrin
The Last Chase So dating and all that s**t aside I find myself in a really shitty place. I know there are plenty of people on here with worse stuff, I'm just having a melt down and I seriously feel like jumping out a window. I'm embarrassed of where I work, I have the state I live in, my friends are all abandoning me, I feel like I'm never happy, I have no idea what I'm doing with my life. I feel so stagnant and I spend most nights crying. I hate everything about my life, I have nothing to be proud of, nothing to show for being a twenty-two year old woman. I hated college and even if I went back I don't know what I'd go for. I am seriously breaking down. I have no direction, no motivation and there isn't a single day I don't cry. I am so lost, so confused and I'm feeling so hopeless. I don't know what to do... crying crying crying crying crying crying crying crying crying crying crying crying crying crying
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Posted: Sat Jul 18, 2009 10:26 pm
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Posted: Thu Jul 23, 2009 1:53 am
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Nothing good about you? Seriously? I call B.S. It seems pretty obvious at this point that you're desperately clinging to your unhappiness instead of trying to get over it.
Though it seems ridiculous that anyone would -want- to be unhappy, it happens quite often, and usually the person doesn't fully realize that they are the source of their own misery. In a way, the feeling is kind of addictive, even though it isn't that pleasant of a feeling.. but something about it can compel a person to do everything they can to keep feeling that way.
I've been there {proof is in the username}... it was only after getting fed up with the feeling that I realized how much of it I was doing to myself. When something didn't go the way I had wanted it to and I started feeling bad about that, I would tack on additional unrelated things to make that feeling worse, and when the feeling would start to go away, I would think of other things to make myself feel bad to prolong the feeling as long as possible.
Here's an example of that thought process: if I had planed to go to the store but my sister decided she was going to take the van for a joy ride with her kids unexpectedly, I would initially feel bad about my plans being canceled. To make the feeling worse, I would think of all the times my sister did something that made me cancel my plans, then all the wrongs she has done me throughout life, and the times in my childhood in which my parents would hold her up as an example of how I should be. When I would start to get over things specifically related to her, I would then think of how I had to move half-way through high school partially because of her and how I lost contact with all the friends I had and would probably never speak to them again, about how bad I was with people and unlikely it was that I would make new friends to replace what I had, and think of how life would have been if I hadn't moved and feel depressed about it because I couldn't live that life. Eventually this always led to self-depreciation and somehow thinking that the entire world would be a better place without me in it and I would be able to keep my unhappiness for hours or sometimes days or weeks if I was that hooked on it.
And it all started with just not getting to go to the store right when I wanted. In that time, I could have easily made plans or done something more productive that would have been just as enjoyable if not more so, but instead I decided to wallow in my sadness.
The way you're going all over the place with excuses as to why you can't be happy sounds like the exact same kind of thought process in which you just want to stay unhappy. If that's the case, then there is no advice for you that will make you feel better because you have to make yourself feel better by breaking the cycle.
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Posted: Thu Jul 23, 2009 11:43 pm
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Posted: Sun Jul 26, 2009 2:41 pm
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Posted: Mon Jul 27, 2009 1:54 pm
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Posted: Fri Jul 31, 2009 12:16 am
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Posted: Wed Aug 05, 2009 1:35 pm
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The Last Chase Well... I am facing a lot of things right now. A lot of things have suddenly been dropped into my lap...
You're not the only one, I can tell you that. Burned to a crisp from college work, tired of tutoring, want to have my own place, hate my parents even if I forgave them, I could go on, but I won't.
A book that helped me, and I strongly recommend it: Psychiatry can be Dangerous to Your Health by William Glasser. It talks about choice theory, and how people CHOOSE to stay unhappy, but they can truly be happy if they are able to look in themselves and others. It's not therapy, it's a look inside yourself and why you feel as you.
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Posted: Thu Aug 13, 2009 6:54 am
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