To break up, or not to break up: That is the question.

[WinterBean]

Alright, so, I have been dating the same guy for the past year and a half, and we've had a pretty good relationship. But lately.. I don't know. I've really been thinking of breaking up with him. :/ But I just can't for the life of me decide whether or not to do it.
So I tried making a pros and cons list.

Pros of dating him:
-He's really sweet
-He lets me vent
-I'm not alone of the weekends
-He really trust worthy with my secrets
-We have a lot in common
-He's always introducing me to new shows
-He's really conscious of the lines I draw
-He's really nerdy
-He really likes my family
-My family really likes him
-He's easy to be around
-If I stay with him, I won't hurt his feelings
-He rarely says anything bad about me
-We don't fight all that often
-He doesn't go to my school

Cons of dating him:
-He gets jealous really easily and often tries to drive away my guys friends
-He's three years older than me (I'm sixteen (almost 17), he's nineteen)
-He wants to get married as soon as I'm out of high school
-He wants to have children before the age of 25
-I don't want kids before I'm 30
-I don't want to live in my hometown after high school. There is a certain university that I have chosen that I would like to go to, and it is about ten hours away from here. My boyfriend, however, wants me to apply to the university he goes to (which is in the next city over) because he doesn't want to move away from my hometown.
-He's super sensitive. When I try to talk to him about when something bothers me, he immediately starts crying and apologizing and making me feel bad for even bringing it up in the first place
-He can't make decisions about trivial things, only big things. For example, he can never decide whether not to hang out with his friends. So he asks me to make the decision for him and then gets upset if I "pick the wrong one" and he has a bad time
-He has a very verbally abuse father, who likes to nit pick at him. And so if he spends a long day with his father and then hangs out with him, he starts acting like his dad and nit-picking at me. So I'm worried with time he'll get more and more like his dad and start getting really verbally abusive.
-He doesn't like my friends, but he puts up with them
-Sometimes I feel like if I keep dating him, I'll marry him and it will be the wrong decision. You see, he's the only guy I've really ever dated, and so sometimes I feel like maybe I should keep dating people to figure out what I want. I know that if I don't break up with him, he will never break up with him. :S He's already planned our wedding. And I am no where near ready to get married.

:/ Do you girls have any suggestions?

 

[Empty Spiral]

[~+~]

Hm. This is a hard one.

If you want my honest opinion?
Education, and what you want to do, should come before what he wants you to do.
He sounds way too controlling for my liking.

If you've really been thinking of breaking up with him, maybe suggest that going to the university is what you feel you need and want to do. And maybe taking a break while you're there would be a good thing for both of you. Especially if he's your first boyfriend. If you're meant to be together, he'll still be there for you when you finish university. If you're having doubts, maybe a break would be the best thing. It would help you have some time to figure things out.

Something that also came to my attention: Your list of cons were longer in regard to how you elaborated on them, whereas your list of pros were short, and you didn't really say a lot about them.

It sounds like if you want a future together, you need to come to a compromise, and not let him make the decisions.
If you don't want to do it, you don't have to, especially since things like marriage and children are something that will change your life forever.

Have you told him you don't feel you're ready to be married?

 

[Kaiyle Brightblade]

It worries me that your list of pros includes the fact that he keeps you from being alone and that you don't want to hurt his feelings. These are two big reasons to extend a relationship far past the time when it should have ended.

I think you need to have a talk with him about what you plan to do with your life. Unless you plan to marry a guy, he shouldn't have priority over you going to college where you want. I agree with the previous poster that you should go to college, and if he can't be supportive of that then I guess your choice is made up.  

[HuoXingC]

Only you can call this one out based on your judgement. Before you make any decisions, you should talk about everything you just mentioned in your post with him. If you two truly love and care for each otehr, you two will compromise. If not, then you two are probably better off separating. You'll just have to play this by ear as you talk to him.  

[M e h P u s s N B o o t s]

I say take a break. You both want different things, such as marriage, kids, and where you are going to school. You want to meet new people to make sure you're not just settling with him, right?
After you take a break for a while, you'll probably be able to decide. I think it's the safest choice for you to be the happiest.

 

[Cinnamon Toaast]

¢ιηηαмση тσαѕт_ѕayѕ ;

I agree with everyone here
Whats worth staying with someone when its going to affect your future and when its steering you away from the path you want to take?

Anyway, I can see from your list that..your cons is much larger then your pros.
Also, I agree with the person who pointed out about where you had in your pros list, "staying with him won't hurt him."
If one of the reasons why your staying with him is so you won't hurt his feelings isn't a very good idea. In my eyes, it looks like a red flag to me. Because the truth is, the longer you stay with him because of that reason, the more he will get hurt at the end.

I can't really decide for you where your relationship course should take place, because that's for you to choose.
If your heart tells you to stay with him, then I can't force you..but please remember to think about it, and always use your brains before your heart. Because there will always, be other boys out there.

 

[NinjaChick2012]

Well,I think you should tell him to be a little more...manly or mature? Especially about the sensitive part where you try and tell him something.
And the 'having children before 25'.
But then after that you could tell him you love how he (insert pro here?).
That's all that I think you should do right now...uhh,so good luck with that! (:  

[Testicular Diabeetus]

Your education should come before men.
If anything stop thinking with your heart, and think with your brain.
I think that you staying with him just so your not hurting his feelings is another bad thing, you will end up leaving him later on in life and I don't think it will be pretty.
I say... Find a new guy after you have a couple of college degrees under your belt.