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 Posted: Thu May 13, 2010 8:43 pm
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Posted: Sat May 22, 2010 9:02 am
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Okay, first of all, i would like to commend you for being able to produce a 30-page oneshot. Only a few very dedicated aspiring manga makers can do that, and I have my respects for people like you (since Im also aspiring to be a manga artist but has "manga-procrastination" issues sad )
I like your manga biggrin At first it kinda went to the boring side but as it progressed it became catchy and exciting, its got a good twist to it 3nodding and i really liked it, it made me go "...awwww".
My problem was that, just when things went well and my happiness went high, it suddenly crashed back down, why? why was the ending like that? You could've made it a bit more brighter for the poor guy? crying
Im not sure if you want critique, but I'll give it anyway(in hopes that it will help you), you may want to practice more with your anatomy and body poses (more with the poses~), your not bad at it, but you can do better. And maybe add more variety with the panels; what i mean is, you could show some panels where only a part of the face or body is shown (like the feet-walking or just the chin or lips or an eye).
Those are just a few things you could do to improve your work.
Overall, its got a good dialog and characters,and a nice flow to it all, smile
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