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 Posted: Sun May 16, 2010 8:05 am
Well...I'll try to make this short.
About two and a half months ago, I got dumped. He didn't tell me why he broke up with me, instead giving me the "I liked it better when we were friends" bull, but I assume he left me for one of my best friends that he liked before we got together. I still have strong feelings for him, but they're not quite as strong as they used to be considering he's completely ignoring me and he's acting like a jerk to everyone else. My best friend, who's really good at reading eyes, was with her boyfriend(one of my ex's best friends) and my ex walked by, and she took one look in his eyes and shivered. She told me his eyes were totally different, like cold and bitter. Sounds weird, but I'm trusting her on that. So, despite how much I like him(even though he's being a complete jerk), I haven't tried to get him back, since obviously he doesn't want to and he's changed drastically.
But anyway, back to the point. I went on a band trip to Chicago about three weeks ago, and me and my best friend that I mentioned earlier met two juniors through our other junior friends(we're sophomores). Let's call the sax player Robert and the percussionist...I dunno, Walter. Anyway: we formed a little group almost instantly, and the six--well, seven if you include the guy that kept leaving and returning--of us became really good friends. On the last day, we were comfortable enough with each other for me to be able to sit next to "Robert", and my best friend able to sit next to "Walter", on the way back. Robert and Walter had been sitting next to each other the whole time, so as soon as I sat next to Robert, he said, "Ugh, you saved me. He's my best friend, but he irritates me sometimes."
Anyway, sat next to him, and I told him ahead of time that I would be using him as a pillow, and he didn't care. Anywho, blah blah, we drove ten hours back home. Exactly a week later, I saw Walter after school, and we just kinda stood talking for about ten or twenty minutes, mostly him talking about me and Robert(apparently, I had fallen asleep with my head on his shoulder, and he had fallen asleep with his resting on mine. Walter thought it was cute, so he snapped a picture). When he told me he'd taken a picture--which my best friend had told me about, except she said she wasn't sure if he got it--I tried to get his phone from him to see it. He stuck it in his pocket, and when I said that wouldn't stop me, he said, "You know, normally I'd be okay with this, but I'm trying to get you to travel more in Robert's direction." I asked him what he was talking about, and he said, "He likes you. He told me himself."
I was blown away. I was even more shocked by the fact that Walter said he kinda liked my best friend! So now, what me and my friend have: She has a boyfriend and a guy that likes her. Not worried about that one, she and her boyfriend are very dedicated, but it's awkward on her part. But what I have, is I'm still dealing with confusion towards my break-up and feelings for my ex: but I do like Robert. So now, I'm really confused. I don't want to make him the rebound guy(I know I don't just like him because he came along, though, I like him because of who he is), and I've only known him for three weeks. My ex and I moved into a relationship pretty fast, too, and that didn't end well.
So I suppose my questions are:
Is it wrong that I already like someone else?
My mom doesn't want me to date ever again pretty much, and the fact that this guy is a junior would really freak her out--should I go for it anyway, if it all works out?
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Posted: Mon May 17, 2010 5:08 pm
aha i feel your pain. Think of it this way:: your ex has changed drastically, from what you said, and isn't the same guy you were attracted to. This new guy, Robert, has come along and basically you met him at a time where you were vulnerable. Than again it's been 3 weeks or so since you and your ex broke up, and if he hasn't tried to talk to you or apolagize for not giving you an explanation at this point i say *bleep* him.
Now with Robert, make sure you tell him you don't want him to be the rebound guy, make sure he knows that your'e not just getting with him because he's convenient and came along at the right time.
Now with your mom, LOL, does she know your like 15 or 16 years old? I'm pretty sure if you just tell her at first that you guys are just friends she won't mind. than when/if you and Robert get serious you can tell her. of course this all depends on if she's the type of Mom to spazz.
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Posted: Mon May 17, 2010 7:13 pm
I agree with the post above. Forget the ex. He just dumped you abruptly without really saying why--that's one good reason not to be with him, particularly if you suspect he left you for your friend. And if he's changed and isn't who you originally liked, that's another good reason. It's absolutely not wrong that you like someone else. That's probably another signal that you should drop your ex.
I feel your pain with the mom thing. I guess just get to know "Robert" better before you start going out with him or decide to go out with him. From what it sounds like, you only really spent time with him when you went on the trip with him and when you guys spoke after school. That's not a lot of time to get to know a person in. Spend some more time with him before you decide--if you still want to go out with him, not only will that help you reassure both yourself and him that he's not the rebound guy but it will also give your mom some time to possibly get to know him, get comfortable with the idea of you spending time with him, and accept that you will be going out with other guys.
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Posted: Wed May 19, 2010 1:40 pm
Okay, my bf stopped talking to me altogether so for like 6 months ( yes I really really loved him and was kinda like...um..obsessed but not really. ) I waited for him. We would talk every now and again, but we werent close. I dumped him because of the loss of connection. Well the ssecond I left him I went with another guy. This guy actually plays on gaia. Hes 16 im 15. Anyway, hes sweet and all and I love him. Just because you leave a guy and then go to another one in a few minutes isnt always bad. Some girls actually do better when they move on faster. It means no one can break you. If you still have feelings for that guy its fine. Also I wouldn't recommened dating anyone more or less than 2- 3 years younger or older than you. Now if you know you can trust him then go for it. All my bf's have been older, but thats just cause I like older guys x3.
*Its fine to go to another guy, shows your strong.
*Its ok to still have feelings for other guys. (I have crushes on a few other guys but I love allen. )
*If you know you can really trust him, go for it. =^^=
Btw my bf is azurakami. x3
kouenkami+Azurakami = ♡
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