Sometimes I miss being single...

[Ch1na Doll]

Recently I've been thinking about taking a break or maybe just meet new people in my life. I am currently in a serious relationship, and it has been about 2 years since we're together. Lately I've been getting the lack of respect from my significant other. I feel like no matter what I do or say, most times he gets frustrated and has short tempers with me. Personally it's been exhausting and not only is it emotionally abusing me but I'm starting to feel like I'm obligated to be with him.

I'm not too sure what I can do right now but at the same time I don't want to feel like i wasted my life or time with this person for 2 years. So should I just forget about it and maybe things will be fine and dandy or just take a break and ditch the guy?  

[Koichi Wing]

It takes 2 to make a relationship work. If you feel he's not helping to keep things working, then you can't make up for the slack he's giving you. I would say, honestly re-evaluate things again. Write it out if you have to, put pros and cons down and see which list is more. You'll have your answer by the time you're done with the list. biggrin  

[ThisEmptySoul]

Try talking to him about how you feel. You may find he is acting the way he is for a reason, such as unintentionally taking his stress out on you. Avoid pointing fingers and playing "the blame game", even if he starts it. Pointing the finger back at him will only make things worse and you may find that the conversation ends up going no where. It would also be best to avoid saying that you're thinking of seeing other people because, depending on his own emotional state, he may jump to the conclusion that you already have someone in mind, and this of course will just create even more problems.

Every couple goes through "rough patches". It depends on how bad this "rough patch" is for you to figure out if it's worth working through it or cutting your losses. Notice I said "working through". Just ignoring it and hoping it gets better won't help anything. If you are serious about each other, then you need to be open and talk about the problems you are having. To leave the issue unaddressed gives off the impression that nothing is wrong and he may not even realize that he is making you feel as badly as he is.  

[Lil Brat]

Good advice so far... I only have one thing to add ~ It takes two people to make a relationship work. If only one is investing anything in to it, it won't work, no matter how much the investing partner puts in to it. That person will come out of it feeling used, drained and unwilling to trust.

It might help to have conversation to find out what both of you want from the relationship...  

[Liada Trovaras]

Pretty much agree with everyone else who have said it takes two. There's no doubt about that. I also wanna give a real life example of one my best and dearest friends earlier relationships since I tend to be the 3rd wheel in a lot of outings with my friends who are couples.

She had dated this guy for 2 years and had some amazing memories together. He was smart, a musician with a lot of talent and was in a good band. He even got her to work on eating healthier and had a great deep connection when it came to conversation. The reason they broke up was bc despite his talent he had no ambition for more than where he was at not to mention he wasn't looking for the next step in commitment (living together-marriage-having kids) Where as she comes from a phillipino family so she had a plan of career, wanting to travel, eventually wanting family, etc. In the end they weren't able to get any further than that and they decided to break it off. To this day though they still hang out from time to time and watch movies etc and are still good friends. She still wishes they could go back to how things were but she knows that there's too much of a difference where it counts and she's not gonna push him into anything nor is she gonna let her life mope around from it. She's moving forward doing what she needs to do as best she can.

So in the end its gonna be your call about how you wanna go about it. But depending on how the situation is you may be able to stay as friends and maybe rebuild on some things that were lost or start anew ya know?  

[Different...Very.]

Gosh, Liada. That... well, it doesn't hurt... but, it does something, because my situation is similar, only worse. Heh.

He currently works at McDonald's Pizza Hut (oh, and WalMart as of Thursday; He's been fired from maybe three jobs now. That seems to say something) and the only plan he has from that is to become a firefighter. I don't know how much money that will pull, but I'm not so certain it would be that much, and he doesn't seem to have that ambition to take himself any further. He's perfectly fine with staying in his room all day playing video games and eating sunflower seeds. Then maybe sometimes going out with his friends to the pool or to their place. His perfect date with me would be chilling in his room playing video games or sharing stories/pics/sites/etc from the internet, then cuddling sometimes.

That's not the life I want.
I want to see orchestras, plays, monuments, cultures, operas, go swing/latin dancing, visit Japan, Greece, Germany, learn five languages, teach English to a class of foreign students, embark on cruises, own two homes in different climates.... the list continues... and I'm figuring out a plan to get there. I'm in my last year in school, I've got a plan on how to get to Japan without paying. I might go into the Peace Corps afterward. I've got three career paths in mind I might take, all similarly related... and he thinks I want too much. Why can't I just chill at the house and be happy with his presence? I don't know why, but I'm not.

I would LOVE for him to accompany me in my journey, but he doesn't like any of them. He wants a simple life, I want a spicy one.... I don't want to come to terms like your friend did that we can't be more than friends, and neither does he, but I think in time, he might. If I get accepted into this program to Japan... we'll probably never be together again.

And as much as the thought of freedom to do as I please lightens my mood, the thought that it would be without him dampens my eyes.  

[Kitty]

Different...Very.

Gosh, Liada. That... well, it doesn't hurt... but, it does something, because my situation is similar, only worse. Heh.

He currently works at McDonald's Pizza Hut (oh, and WalMart as of Thursday; He's been fired from maybe three jobs now. That seems to say something) and the only plan he has from that is to become a firefighter. I don't know how much money that will pull, but I'm not so certain it would be that much, and he doesn't seem to have that ambition to take himself any further. He's perfectly fine with staying in his room all day playing video games and eating sunflower seeds. Then maybe sometimes going out with his friends to the pool or to their place. His perfect date with me would be chilling in his room playing video games or sharing stories/pics/sites/etc from the internet, then cuddling sometimes.

That's not the life I want.
I want to see orchestras, plays, monuments, cultures, operas, go swing/latin dancing, visit Japan, Greece, Germany, learn five languages, teach English to a class of foreign students, embark on cruises, own two homes in different climates.... the list continues... and I'm figuring out a plan to get there. I'm in my last year in school, I've got a plan on how to get to Japan without paying. I might go into the Peace Corps afterward. I've got three career paths in mind I might take, all similarly related... and he thinks I want too much. Why can't I just chill at the house and be happy with his presence? I don't know why, but I'm not.

I would LOVE for him to accompany me in my journey, but he doesn't like any of them. He wants a simple life, I want a spicy one.... I don't want to come to terms like your friend did that we can't be more than friends, and neither does he, but I think in time, he might. If I get accepted into this program to Japan... we'll probably never be together again.

And as much as the thought of freedom to do as I please lightens my mood, the thought that it would be without him dampens my eyes.

Well darling, it looks like you have already decided, you are just afraid of taking action.