(EDITED...again.) I can't spend my life waiting for "maybe"

[Angel Nicholson]

My mother always told me love was a bullshit emotion that only fools and dreamers believed in...


I broke off our engagement in March (for personal reasons) but we didn't tell our parents because they were happy for us and we were waiting to try it again and we didn't want to raise a fuss just yet.
So right now, him and I are supposed to be engaged.
We're supposed to be getting married in 3 years.
Whenever his family comes around, he seems to not want me around. I mean, I saw him once this week, we were with his mother and he knows I want to talk to him about something important.
But his grandparents and his sister came up to visit again this weekend, and he still can't invite me over to hang around with them unless I'm already there when they show up. Whenever I'm not, he seems to shove me into a corner and forget about me until they leave. Which I never really know when that is and he can't see why it bothers me. (After they leave he always sits there and says something along the lines of "Why didn't you come over? My sister was here." and is completely serious about it.)
We're supposed to be married in 3 years, his family knows it. His parents see me as their daughter-in-law already but whenever his family comes around...he pushes me away and forgets about me. When they come around, his promises to see me and have me over there suddenly turn into maybe's and then they never happen.
But I'm still hopeful, so I wait for him.
He completely pushes me away, he doesn't even call to cancel seeing me or something so I'm left there, with no idea if he's coming or not and hoping he will even though I know he's not...
He doesn't seem to notice me at all when they're around and it hurts.
And he can't understand why.
I'm tired of waiting for him. I can't spend my life waiting for him and his broken promises. And his sheer stupidity about it. Like I said, once they leave, he'll sit there and say something like "Why didn't you come over?"
I can't spend my life waiting for "maybe"...
And I don't know what to say to him to get it through his head...I need something a little more solid because everything with him is "Maybe", "I might", and "I forgot"

Also, this happens every other weekend, it's not just an occasional thing.

EDIT:
I broke it off back in March. It was March. It's now June. The engagement has nothing at all to do with this situation.
Nothing. It was a mutual decision, something we both decided. I just say I'm the one that broke it off because I'm the one that noticed something needed to be done.
I know exactly how he feels about it and he is not upset and has been going on like we were still engaged because that's what he wants. I don't want to hear what he might think, I was just upset so I needed to get it out and now people are giving me useless advice about how I'm a b***h and he's a poor ******** victim.

That has nothing at all to do with the situation, maybe I should have explained that, I dunno, I just assumed that because I said it was in March, no one would think that's why he's being a doorknob.
He's not even avoiding me, I'm just upset because he has a horrible memory and can't seem to call or spend the two seconds it takes to send me a message to cancel the plans he has with me when his family comes up. I know they're his family and I know they're important, but I need to be important enough for him to let me know he's cancelling our plans for him.
Maybe I should have explained that a little better, I dunno, I was pretty upset with him at the time.

He also drove by at 9:30 Saturday morning and didn't come in like he said he would because the lights weren't on. Number one, he knows he can come in any time he wants as long as he's not waking up everyone in the house, he knows everyone but me and my brother are up by 7 everyday (he has no problem with waking me up) and lastly, why the hell would you have your lights on at 9:30 in the morning when the sun is so bright your scalp is burning off??!?!


...so she told me to be the fool with a dream...

 

[Angel Nicholson]

My mother always told me love was a bullshit emotion that only fools and dreamers believed in...


He sent me a message telling me that if it rains, his sister's going home in the morning. If it's not, she's going to the beach. Either way, he says he "might" try and see me for a few minutes.
I know he's not going to come...I know he's not, but I'm still hoping he does, I'm still waiting for him...and I know he's not going to...
I don't know what to do to convince myself that he's just not coming again...


...so she told me to be the fool with a dream...

 

[Sioga]

That seems rather rude!

Sorry, I just had to say that, but it's true. If you want him to be around your family, and a part of it, then you deserve the same right with his family! If they already like you, and see you as part of the family, then why wouldn't he want you around? Besides, wouldn't he want them to have a good impression of you, knowing that you will be married in a few years? Won't they want to know a lot about who he is marrying? It doesn't make sense.

 

[Angel Nicholson]

Sioga

That seems rather rude!

Sorry, I just had to say that, but it's true. If you want him to be around your family, and a part of it, then you deserve the same right with his family! If they already like you, and see you as part of the family, then why wouldn't he want you around? Besides, wouldn't he want them to have a good impression of you, knowing that you will be married in a few years? Won't they want to know a lot about who he is marrying? It doesn't make sense.

My mother always told me love was a bullshit emotion that only fools and dreamers believed in...


No, it doesn't make sense and it's really not fair. I mean, I know he doesn't see his sister much, but that's no reason to push me away and ignore me for however long she's there! Even a phonecall would be nice!
He drove past my house at 9:30 this morning and decided he wasn't coming in because the lights were off. Number one, who in their right mind has their lights on at 9:30 am in the summer?? And number two, he knows everyone but me and my brother is awake in my house by 7am! He's woken me up before and never had a problem with it!
I really don't understand him right now. He's getting to be a bit ridiculous.

He sent me that message telling me he might come in if his sister's not there and I just replied "******** you, you'll notice my existence again in about a week when they go the hell home. When will I mean half as much to you as your family does? Why do you place me 10th to everything?" and I left it at that. I haven't even read the reply and I don't plan on it. I know his family is important, but I'm important too and shouldn't be dropped and ignored for a week whenever something more important than me does come up.
I know it may have been uncalled for, but I'm just so sick of his "mights" and "maybes".



...so she told me to be the fool with a dream...

 

[Angel Nicholson]

My mother always told me love was a bullshit emotion that only fools and dreamers believed in...


He gets off work at 9am.
It's now 9:54 and I know he's not coming.
But I'm still hoping he will. I keep thinking that maybe he had to work a little longer because sometimes it happens. But I know he's just not coming and I can't seem to get it into my head that he's not. My head knows he's not, but my heart doesn't seem to care what I'm telling it.
My family keeps coming in and out of the house and whenever I hear the door open, I get anxious and hope it's him, but I know it's not.


...so she told me to be the fool with a dream...

 

[Moxcella]

≎≎≎≎≎≎≎≎

❝ Have you tried talking to him about it..? Maybe he's..scared or somthing. It isn't really right for him to keep you away from his family if your going to get married. Have you tried speaking to his family? Like talking to them instead of letting him push you back. To tell the truth,I don't really get it. You shouldn't let him hold you back from his family. You shouldn't be sitting around waiting for him. Just talk to him once you get the chance.

Hope that helped,i'm not so great with advice.❞

☤--ҬҽɳʂɧɨӍɏʂȶɨϲ⑸⑺

 

[bobbubbles]

heart Awww I'd say you stop giving hints maybe even pretend you don't care like don't talk to him and see if he comes to you.

 

[Art Greylace]

It seems to me like either you're overreacting or he's being a jerk.
Sorry to be blunt.
How much does he see his sister? If it's really not a lot, as in one day a month or so (averaged out over a year) then maybe it might be better to let it be. Wait it out, it won't happen very often anyhow. If it's a little longer then maybe you should try calling her directly and arranging to meet her, even without him around, spend some girl time, and get to know each other, that way you'll naturally be a part of the group instead of having him know both of you but you not know each other very well.
Am I making sense? sweatdrop  

[Angel Nicholson]

bobbubbles

heart Awww I'd say you stop giving hints maybe even pretend you don't care like don't talk to him and see if he comes to you.

My mother always told me love was a bullshit emotion that only fools and dreamers believed in...


We're actually in the middle of an argument right now and what he doesn't know, is that after it's over, I'm just going to ignore him until he can smarten up. I shouldn't always be the one to have to start a conversation. My mom keeps telling me to stop talking to him for a few days and see if he notices. Show him how it feels to be forgotten for a few days.



...so she told me to be the fool with a dream...

 

[Angel Nicholson]

Insanity Dragonfly

It seems to me like either you're overreacting or he's being a jerk.
Sorry to be blunt.
How much does he see his sister? If it's really not a lot, as in one day a month or so (averaged out over a year) then maybe it might be better to let it be. Wait it out, it won't happen very often anyhow. If it's a little longer then maybe you should try calling her directly and arranging to meet her, even without him around, spend some girl time, and get to know each other, that way you'll naturally be a part of the group instead of having him know both of you but you not know each other very well.
Am I making sense? sweatdrop

My mother always told me love was a bullshit emotion that only fools and dreamers believed in...



I'm not overreacting. This happens practically every other weekend and I'm sick of it. He doesn't see his sister as often, but like I said, they were never really all that close so it's not like he's dying to hang out with her when she goes over. He hangs out with his niece (who is three years younger) when they visit and he sees her quite often. I can understand him wanting to see his family and I respect that, but he's constantly forgetting that he'd made plans with me and constantly forgetting to let me know that his family came to visit and isn't coming to see me that day after all.
He'll tell me he's coming to see me the next day, but then someone in his family shows up and he "forgets" to let me know he's not coming.
It's happening all the time. Right from day one he was constantly forgetting to let me know he won't be there and constantly forgetting that I exist whenever his family visits. His mother is the one to invite me around them. His mother will pick me up after she's done work and bring me out to his place if his family's there.
It's his mother that notices me when his family comes to visit.
He doesn't even care to let me know he's busy. I don't care what he's doing or where he's going, just as long as I know that he's cancelled our plans.
I can understand him wanting to be around his family, but a little warning might be nice sometimes instead of spending my day waiting for him when I could have been out with my friends and family.


...so she told me to be the fool with a dream...

 

[flauterfli]

Wait..
So you broke off the engagement for these obscure "personal reasons" and yet you're pissed that he's avoiding you? I'm confused. I'd understand if you both agreed to it, together, but separately...I'm on his side, dear-y. You're the one who called off the marriage. If I were him, I'd be fuming. Or at least be put off that I'd rather like to avoid you for awhile. It's perfectly understandable. Give him time to figure things out, for goodness sake...  

[9_Beautiful_Monster_6]

imaprettyrainbow

Wait..
So you broke off the engagement for these obscure "personal reasons" and yet you're pissed that he's avoiding you? I'm confused. I'd understand if you both agreed to it, together, but separately...I'm on his side, dear-y. You're the one who called off the marriage. If I were him, I'd be fuming. Or at least be put off that I'd rather like to avoid you for awhile. It's perfectly understandable. Give him time to figure things out, for goodness sake...

this seems like a good point to me, i mean, it seems to me he might be very upset right now, maybe kidnap him (like maybe vist during lunch break at his work if its getting that hard to talk to him face-to-face) and just put it all out there, what your felling, what you think, ect. and let him do the same and find a way to make it at least simi-work? i mean, im sure he has a reason (or at least an excuse... wich is better then nothing) for his actions and im sure it will make u feel better to hear that then not hear anything at all and keep wondering, u understand what im trying to explain? but it is cruel what hes doing, just blocking you out and leaving you to dry, but you never know someones reasons behind those sort of actions unless you ask them, maybe theres a perfectly reasonable reason why he hasnt been around much and once you get it explained to you everything will be fine, but you need to try something in order for anything to change ya'know? sweatdrop  

[Angel Nicholson]

imaprettyrainbow

Wait..
So you broke off the engagement for these obscure "personal reasons" and yet you're pissed that he's avoiding you? I'm confused. I'd understand if you both agreed to it, together, but separately...I'm on his side, dear-y. You're the one who called off the marriage. If I were him, I'd be fuming. Or at least be put off that I'd rather like to avoid you for awhile. It's perfectly understandable. Give him time to figure things out, for goodness sake...

I broke it off back in March and it was a mutual decision. We both decided that since he couldn't handle it at this point in time, it was the best thing to do. I explained some of it in another thread. There's nothing for him to be mad about.  

[Hersheydudette]

So... you -both- broke off the engagement but you're offended because he's not acting like it's still on? I get that you want everyone else to think it's still on, but if his family started asking why you weren't there, he'd probably call and invite you. And if he didn't, he's asking for it. So I'm mostly with imaprettyrainbow.  

[Angel Nicholson]

My mother always told me love was a bullshit emotion that only fools and dreamers believed in...


Okay. I've edited it again.
AGAIN.

MINI RANT.

I'm not the b***h here, I was just trying to not make him look as much like an idiot as he really does.
I know that's mean, but if you knew him, you'd agree with me.
Seriously, I don't even know why I'm with him, he's ridiculous.
And half his logic doesn't make any sense.
When we were engaged, it was fine. Perfectly fine, he loved it. But as soon as he went to University, he decided to follow the crowd. Because Bob and Lisa down the hall were together but not engaged, it wasn't okay for him to be, ********, it pisses me off because he was the one telling me that what other people say doesn't matter.
And now look at him.

Anyway, I don't put as much into these about him because in all honesty, if I did, everyone would think he was a complete dumbass and I just don't think anyone should think something like that about someone when they don't know them.
Although, now they might think he's an a*****e.
But that's okay, all his friends think I'm a b***h for no reason.
Simply because I'm with him and not with them.
I'm not even joking about that, either...
I'm dead serious, that is the reason.


...so she told me to be the fool with a dream...