I'm scared..

[No Sex For You]

So, I'm leaving this Friday.
Leaving my friends and family.. leaving my home.
I'm moving up to Michigan with my boyfriend.
I'm going to miss my dad and sister.. but, I really feel that this is necessary.

I'm almost 19 and my dad is still demanding to see "a report card" even though I'm in college.
He still yells at me for not folding and putting away my clothes right when I finish washing them..
He's immature about a lot of things.. I got home from work one afternoon and he walked into my room, DEMANDED I go get him some cokes, I told him no, I was tired, I would do it later, so he says I can't eat any of the food in his kitchen because since I had a job, I could pay for my own food. But, he knew that the money I was making could only pay for gas to get to work and back.. and yet he still did that.
On March 7th, I didn't do the dishes the previous night and he stormed into my room that morning, grabbed me, yelled at me, and then pushed me..

But, I mean.. yeah, he has anger issues and problems.. but, we've had good times too.. I love my dad a lot, and I know he's only looking out for the best for me (okay, maybe not during those last two things...), but.. I think I should lead my own life.
I feel like I'm walking out on my family.. kind of just "abandoning" them.. and it makes me feel like such trash.
I don't want to leave.. but then again, I really do. I'm so torn between leaving or staying.. I know I'd just be miserable staying.. but, I know I'd be homesick for a while if I leave.. and I'm not even entirely sure what I'm going to do when I leave.

I'm planning on going to college.. except, not for nursing as I originally planned. I'm going for graphic design/game design.

But.. I don't know. : <

If there's any advice you can give, I'd really love it.  

[FireFemale666]

Well if you feel that is it right, then it is right. Youll be happier, and happiness makes life easier and yet more necessary to live. Even though I am a 9th grader.. I still have some great advice. lol.

P.S. I wish you the best of luck with everything~  

[PainfullyVivid]

I get it in a way. When I left for college six hours away, I felt bad for leaving my mom. She's always made her life about my brother before he moved out and me. I felt like I was leaving her behind for her to be lonely and without anyone at home and that it was my responsibility to do what I could to stop that even if it was just by being there. But at the same time, I felt suffocated by her constant protection and attention and presence for the past 18 years. We were fighting a lot just because I think we were around each other so much.
In the end, despite me feeling bad about it, I left because I knew it was probably what was best for me and my relationship with my mother. And I was right. I think she was a little upset to begin with, but she's found ways to fill her time other than me which I'm happy for. She's finally started gardening again, and she hangs out with her friends when she can. She started going back out with her boyfriend (ex at the time), so she isn't just staying at home, depressed, like my guilty side was picturing.

Moving out and away from your family doesn't mean you love them less or are abandoning them. You are just moving on with your life. Don't feel bad (or if you can't, at least don't allow your misplaced guilt to stop you) about something that every child must to do become their own person. You are not a bad person for wanting your own life and the freedom to live it. Your family may miss you, but at the same time, I'm assuming your father had to do leave his parents when he was a young adult. It's just what has to happen to fully mature.

So, do what you want to do. You are not doing this to hurt anyone. You are not being insensitive. Thus, there's nothing wrong with it.

Hopefully moving might help your problems with your father.  

[Senri -l- Shiki]

ok...now i'm scared sweatdrop  

[Kosai Avonej]

The first little bit of being out on your own is very difficult, but don't ever for a moment believe you can't succeed. 3nodding  

[Intoxikace]

It's probably going to be really hard at first; but once you get used to not living at home you'll love it.

I felt really bad about moving out... I was fighting with my mom a LOT but once I was out of the house for a couple of weeks I talked to my mom on the phone and everything was so much better between us.
We no longer fight and scream at each other.. it's pretty great. 8D  

[Szen]

I can't offer any related situations in my life, but I agree with everything Pain said. :3  

[Lychee Fruit]

Because of your age, you can't pop him for child abuse, but if he ever gets violent with you again, call the police. At the very least they'll take him in for the night. Maybe a good dose of SHAME would make him realize what kind of person he is before you leave.

Also. Marry your boyfriend, have adorable children, and NEVER let your family see or hear about them. He may not care at first, but when he's old and hooked up to a million machines, he'll sure wish he'd given you a reason to bring young, smiling faces in to see him in his final days. twisted  

[No Sex For You]

I.. Couldn't do that to my dad. ._. He'll still be the one giving me away at my wedding, he'll probably be in the delivery room, and he'll still always be "daddy" to me.
He just has.. control issues. >>


@Thread-
Thank you for all the advice. ^^ I leave in four days. I'm excited.. and not as scared anymore. Thank you so much. <3