Suites, I need a friendly ear (or 10)

[AquilaLiberum]

Hey you guys, I hope everyone's doing well!

Unfortunatley, I come to you guys with bad news. I learned today, not too long ago that a guy I went to school with is dead. I noticed everyone posting on his FaceBook page and from the way they're talking, it sounds like he committed suicide. This would make him the second person from my year at school to commit suicide this year.
It's just tearing me up you guys. I didn't speak to this guy that much but I remember him being really really nice, always up for a laugh etc. He always used to post on FB about babysitting his neice and nephew and he was only like a month older than me (I'm 20). I can't get over it, he was such a nice guy.
I don't know, times like this make me remember the times in my life when I've contemplated taking an overdose or going onto the motorway and throwing myself in front of a car. I feel like, "If they did it and I'm still here, their problems must have been way worse". And it just makes me feel like I complain way too much, like I make a big deal out of stuff when other people are suffering way more. Makes me feel like a jackass to be honest.

~Nya-ha!~
blaugh

 

[lgtenos]

Well, if anything, I'm one to talk. As you know, I just went through a suicidal phase. Let me tell you... It's not pleasant. Imagine the worst possible emotional state you could be in (not having any friends, not being able to talk to anyone, no one understanding, just being completely cut off from the rest of the world); it's probably the absolute [and although I've said this word already] worst experience I've had.

To answer your statements: yes, our troubles are far more complex than anyone could perceive. In fact, there's no hope in fully understanding why someone even contemplates suicide, mainly because the reasons behind it are so farfetched. Although your classmate is gone, it's best to be prepared for the future. If anyone is ever contemplating suicide, don't intervene; it'll make things worse (really). Just make sure they know you'll be there, no matter what. If a simple spec of understanding is comfort to those who are sane, imagine what it must feel like for a suicider; it's heaven, really.

Ironically, I've had a similar incident to yours. A guy I graduated high school with overdosed on OTC drugs. I didn't know the guy (we were part of two different cliques), but I still felt a hint of sadness.  

[iTootsie]

I don't think that's it at all.

The way I see it, everyone has different limitations.
To some, losing loved ones isn't anything new.
And if someone else loses a person, their strength will be tested, ya know?
That same person can be used to... I don't know, fighting an addiction.
While person 1 faces an addiction problem, it becomes something they don't know how to deal with.

I don't think I'm making sense.

I say- everyone's got their weaknesses,
it's not about what we complain about.
Because everyone complains about things.

Some just don't see a way out.

 

[AquilaLiberum]

Yeah Klynkz, I've been through that whole "cut off from the rest of the world" thing, I know it's pretty dreadful. I just can't get over how this guy seemed really happy and yet this happened. It doesn't make any sense, it just showed me that people can seem fine but there's alot more going on underneath the surface. This is what makes me feel bad, when I'm depressed EVERYONE ******** knows about it xD

@Tootsie: That makes perfect sense, I know where you're coming from about the way out thing too. When I was really bad, I couldn't see any other solution to the problem and I was wanted the pain to stop.

~Nya-ha!~
blaugh

 

[Szen]

iTootsie

I don't think that's it at all.

The way I see it, everyone has different limitations.
To some, losing loved ones isn't anything new.
And if someone else loses a person, their strength will be tested, ya know?
That same person can be used to... I don't know, fighting an addiction.
While person 1 faces an addiction problem, it becomes something they don't know how to deal with.

I don't think I'm making sense.

I say- everyone's got their weaknesses,
it's not about what we complain about.
Because everyone complains about things.

Some just don't see a way out.

It makes perfect sense to me. I'm always baffled when I hear that people commit suicide because of certain things when I feel like I've been through much worse. I mean, I've heard of people killing themselves and their suicide note said it was because their girlfriend left them. And yet, I survived the loss of most of my immediate family. I suffered years of depression and guilt for being alive, but I never once considered suicide.
There's no objective line where a person will be suicidal or not. You can't look at someone's situation and know whether or not they are suicidal. It's all in each person's own mind, how they look at the world, their confidence, etc. Some people will hold up under total loss, homelessness, torture, etc. And some people will cave under much less. You just can't know.
And that's why it's so scary. D:  

[iTootsie]

Oh, good for making sense!

I remember two weks ago, during a grueling speech at my graduation, I sat and thought about the ones who'd never make it to the 10-year reunion. And the ones we'd hear about on the way.

It is definitely scary.

 

[comfylove]

When someone you know dies because of a suicide is always a difficult thing to experience. I know of a couple kids from my year who have killed themselves and I always feel so flabbergasted, even if they've been gone for years.

And like Szen, I also don't really understand suicide. It's probably because I've never thought of killing myself before. Sure, there are days when I am sick of this fallen world and I crave the day when I die simply because of the things I believe in, but I don't consider that suicidal thoughts.

I do think this life is a test, and I intend on sticking it out.  

[AquilaLiberum]

maui boy no ka oi

I find it interesting that it would have happened in the summer. Most suicides have a tendency to happen in the winter. An old friend of mine had died recently. All I can say is be thankful that it wasn't someone that was actually your friend.

Yeah, I understand this. It did actually make me imagine if it had have been one of my good friends, I don't know what I'd do. I think I'd just completley break down in all likelihood.

~Nya-ha!~
blaugh

 

[Lychee Fruit]

People who commit suicide don't have greater problems than the rest of us. It just means they thought suicide was the only way to handle their problems. It doesn't make them cowards, heroes, victims... it's just a sad loss when they go.

Everyone has suicidal thoughts at times in their lives. It's a fact of life, not a mark of shame. The important thing, (I'm pretty sure you already know) is not to act on those thoughts, and if the feelings don't go away, talk to a doctor or therapist about treatment.  

[Light up the Night]

Already been said but...
Everyone struggles with their own problems, but each person's aren't translatable to other people's. Everyone deals with things differently. We all feel stupid sometimes for [complaining/thinking of suicide/etc] when we see a situation worse than ours, but it doesn't mean that we have no right to feel the way we do.

I look at those situations and try to take something positive away from it. Have it show me just how much I need to live.
I knew a guy who was hit by a car- it wasn't a suicide, but it really shocked me. sad  

[Den Dristige Djevelen]

~*~

You know I'm always here, Babycakes. <3

I keep my opinions on suicide to myself, but I'm sending hugs and good thoughts your way because I want you to feel better. Happy Kyle is lots more fun than Sad Kyle.

~*~