Getting over your first serious relationship.

[lawlsberrysteaks]

I was wondering how any of you got over your first serious relationship. I recently just broke up with my boyfriend, who was my first boyfriend, and first everything, for that matter.. If you'd like to know why we broke up, just ask.
I'm wondering how you all got over it because I'm having trouble coping with it, even though I was the one who ended it. sweatdrop

 

[Ameria S]

It takes time. Don't bottle up your emotions though. If you want to cry, cry. If you want to scream at the top of your lungs, go ahead. Go hang out with your friends. Have a girls night out. Do things that will take your mind off him.

I know this will dull the pain. I can't really tell you how to get over it completely because I'm still trying to get over my first serious relationship which lasted for two years and ended nine months ago. Everyone heals and copes differently though. Don't base your healing calender off of me. I see my ex almost every week so...I can tell you that frequently seeing an ex is not the best idea.  

[lawlsberrysteaks]

i try my best not to bottle anything up because I know it won't help, especially with my depression. The more I bottle things up, the worse I tend to feel.

Thank you for the suggestions; I hope you get over your ex some day.

heart  

[J e n R e i]

Its Going to be hard... The way i get over it is. Talk to my friends and just think, they're other people in the world. One person isn't the end of the world.Its apart of life.breaking up,breaking hearts ,your heart getting broken..everyone goes through it...Just let all your emotions out,don't distant yourself from people.And try not to think to much about him..hang out with friends. Just hope you don't run into him too soon...thats the only hard part..I broke up with my bf a month ago...I miss him like crazy but it was best..

 

[flauterfli]

Well, for me..it wasn't that hard.
I was seeing someone for about a year and a half..thought I might just love him, maybe.
I never thought about our future together, frowned at the mere mention of it.
In fact, he started to grate on my nerves quite soon. We fought a lot.
Okay, I fought at him...
He was very agreeable -- one of the most annoying traits a man will ever have.
I could go on, but I won't.
I finally broke it off with him months after I really should have.
He saw it coming. Took it much harder than I did.
It didn't hurt too much because I'd stopped liking him awhile beforehand.
But it was definitely weird. I was so used to being in a relationship.
I didn't feel lonely -- in fact, I felt free.
I could flirt with who I wanted, go gaga over whatever hunky celeb popped up on the TV(hello, Lautner!), go out with friends and not have to worry about making time for a boyfriend, blahblah..
Plus it gave me time to find myself; to love myself. To understand what I like in a guy. I thought over everything that aggravated me about him (no sense of adventure, major hypochondriac, inability to hold a decent conversation, lack of trust and support, a terrible kisser..etc) and decided to never put up with that sort of thing again, because I didn't need to spend so much time on an awkward push over. Then I figured out what I liked about him -- nice smile, patient, calm -- and look for those qualities in an even better man.

SO anyway, I think spending time with yourself for awhile and living up the single life will help. Think about the positive stuff, like why you broke up with him, the freedom you have, and how many cuter guys with tons more potential are out there! There's a ton, really, and you damn well deserve them. =]

I have a new boyfriend now and I'm totally, deeply in love with him.
We talk about marriage, raising a family, growing old together..<3
(I've never thought about that sort of thing before! I've always seen myself as single and uncommitted for most of my adult life, but that's totally changed.)
But I don't think our relationship would be going as well if I hadn't taken time off dating for awhile. It really helped me figure out things.

 

[Sora Nightwhisper]

Vent. Rant. Remember to breath. Do anything to get all the emotion out of you. I'm lucky to have a friend who tolerates me spilling my guts to about every problem and as a plus she gives me advice and support. And find little pleasures, small things that make you happy to remind yourself that there is whole world out there that doesn't include that boy.  

[lawlsberrysteaks]

Thank you everyone for the advice.
It's hard to not see him because he hangs out near my house with people, plus he always seems to call me every other day so we can talk and work things out..
I think taking at the least summer vacation off from dating anyone, and just having fun and stuff, thinking about stuff, that it'll help.
Again, thanks.
heart

 

[forever a fawn]

Thanks everyone. heart

Well, I've never technically been in a relationship.
But I've been trying to get over this guy who broke my heart.

I don't really have any coping strategies though. Just try not to think about them.

 

[lawlsberrysteaks]

It's tough not to think about him.. it's just in my nature to over think a lot of things. D:

 

[Intoxikace]

I wrote about how I felt.. blogged about it a lot.
Wrote about why I missed him.. pretty much whatever crossed my mind.

It does take a bit of time.. but just gotta keep reminding yourself that everything happens for a reason and you just have to learn to move on.  

[lawlsberrysteaks]

Blogging/writing actually sounds like a good idea.
Thanks!  

[2A30128]

Black tongues speak faster than the car can crash
You supply the rumors and I'll provide the wrath

For me, forgetting about her wasn't enough.
I had to put it through my head that she didn't give a damn about me, which is true.
And that I couldn't stand anymore bullshit from her; therefore, she wasn't worth anything to me anymore.
It kinda depends on your situation, but hey, it might work.

Romance is breaking every heart in two
Casting shadows in the pale shade of blue

 

[RosesFallingLikeRain]

I broke up with my first boyfriend in October of '09. We dated for eight months and I just got over him in Febuary.

Cry. Let it all out. If you feel like talking, message me. If you don't want to talk, but need to say things, I won't reply.

Also, if you have to think about him, think about all the bad things about him, and remind yourself about why you left him.

I'll show you some stuff I wrote when I left him.  

[RosesFallingLikeRain]

Quote:

I broke up woth him. Over the phone.
I know it's mean, doing it during a call.
I feel like everything in the relationship was always my fault.
I know it wasn't but he always made me feel like it was.
I've been thinking about breaking up with him for a good while now, so I know it was probably the best thing to do.
The final straw was when he called earlier, my mom answered, told him I was just leaving to get some ice cream, and it drove me batty. I told my mom about how I couldn't take everything, his complaining, his neediness, his mood swings, his anything.
It was totally awesome in the beginning, but I honestly just can't deal with how he always needs to be talking to me, or around me, or otherwise he's depressed.
He complained that we never went on dates anymore, but that was because he called me every night(sometimes twice a night), we hang out at every break at school, we have a class together, and we have the same group of friends. It was always complaints, complaints. He complained about his home life, himself, his classes, the internet, his teachers, his friends, skateboarding, jobs, how bored he always was, us, me. He never stopped.
I tried asking for space, but he got depressed and called more. He didn't do anything.
He had a bunch of moodswings all the time. In school he'd be happy, but once he was home, he'd get depressed about everything and call me.
He guilt tripped me. Anytime I wanted something from the relationship, space, time, anything, he'd get depressed and say something like 'I'm sorry, but I just wanted to talk to you...' or something of the like.
I told myself I wasn't going to cry.
Now I'm telling myself that I refuse to take him back. I'll be sticking to that one.
I just can't stop feeling bad, even I know it's not my fault.
I'm totally not ready for the dating scene.

 

[lawlsberrysteaks]

RosesFallingLikeRain

Quote:

I broke up woth him. Over the phone.
I know it's mean, doing it during a call.
I feel like everything in the relationship was always my fault.
I know it wasn't but he always made me feel like it was.
I've been thinking about breaking up with him for a good while now, so I know it was probably the best thing to do.
The final straw was when he called earlier, my mom answered, told him I was just leaving to get some ice cream, and it drove me batty. I told my mom about how I couldn't take everything, his complaining, his neediness, his mood swings, his anything.
It was totally awesome in the beginning, but I honestly just can't deal with how he always needs to be talking to me, or around me, or otherwise he's depressed.
He complained that we never went on dates anymore, but that was because he called me every night(sometimes twice a night), we hang out at every break at school, we have a class together, and we have the same group of friends. It was always complaints, complaints. He complained about his home life, himself, his classes, the internet, his teachers, his friends, skateboarding, jobs, how bored he always was, us, me. He never stopped.
I tried asking for space, but he got depressed and called more. He didn't do anything.
He had a bunch of moodswings all the time. In school he'd be happy, but once he was home, he'd get depressed about everything and call me.
He guilt tripped me. Anytime I wanted something from the relationship, space, time, anything, he'd get depressed and say something like 'I'm sorry, but I just wanted to talk to you...' or something of the like.
I told myself I wasn't going to cry.
Now I'm telling myself that I refuse to take him back. I'll be sticking to that one.
I just can't stop feeling bad, even I know it's not my fault.
I'm totally not ready for the dating scene.

That made me sad sad . But I liked it.
I know how you feel when you say "I just can't stop feeling bad, even I know it's not my fault. "
I feel so bad because my ex-boyfriend doesn't seem to be taking it well. I've been talking to him for a few days and he's been up for four days straight and he's barely eaten, and the way his moods are it almost sounds as if he's depressed.
But I broke up with him because he'd changed so much, so I pretty much think it was his fault. :/