Discussion: Is spanking a child always abusive?

[Dark Mistress Rissa]

Tuba Toothpaste

I am now 19 years old, and I was spanked as a child. I was only spanked with a hand, never with a paddle or belt or anything, and I was only spanked if I did something seriously wrong. Thing like a child running across a street without looking, or playing with knives or something. I don't have a problem with spanking as long as it doesn't go too far.

Edit: And just to add to my post, I think it goes too far if a parent does it just because they are angry. Some parents spank their kids to relieve their own frustrations with them instead of a way to teach them. That is when it is wrong.

Agreed. Spanking a child out of anger isn't the way to go. Parents need to take a deep breath and think about what they're doing before they spank the child. It's not good to spank a child to get rid of frustration. It just makes the child think it's alright to hit when you're upset.  

[Tuba Toothpaste]

Dark Mistress Rissa

Tuba Toothpaste

I am now 19 years old, and I was spanked as a child. I was only spanked with a hand, never with a paddle or belt or anything, and I was only spanked if I did something seriously wrong. Thing like a child running across a street without looking, or playing with knives or something. I don't have a problem with spanking as long as it doesn't go too far.

Edit: And just to add to my post, I think it goes too far if a parent does it just because they are angry. Some parents spank their kids to relieve their own frustrations with them instead of a way to teach them. That is when it is wrong.

Agreed. Spanking a child out of anger isn't the way to go. Parents need to take a deep breath and think about what they're doing before they spank the child. It's not good to spank a child to get rid of frustration. It just makes the child think it's alright to hit when you're upset.

Exactly! Someone mentioned that studies showed that children that were spanked grew up to be violent....by I think the ones that are violent were spanked because their parents were angry. That is where they learn to be violent when they are angry.  

[DOMOs Kender child]

Tuba Toothpaste

Dark Mistress Rissa

Tuba Toothpaste

I am now 19 years old, and I was spanked as a child. I was only spanked with a hand, never with a paddle or belt or anything, and I was only spanked if I did something seriously wrong. Thing like a child running across a street without looking, or playing with knives or something. I don't have a problem with spanking as long as it doesn't go too far.

Edit: And just to add to my post, I think it goes too far if a parent does it just because they are angry. Some parents spank their kids to relieve their own frustrations with them instead of a way to teach them. That is when it is wrong.

Agreed. Spanking a child out of anger isn't the way to go. Parents need to take a deep breath and think about what they're doing before they spank the child. It's not good to spank a child to get rid of frustration. It just makes the child think it's alright to hit when you're upset.

Exactly! Someone mentioned that studies showed that children that were spanked grew up to be violent....by I think the ones that are violent were spanked because their parents were angry. That is where they learn to be violent when they are angry.

Thank you.

 

[Tsiklop]

I think spanking is only abusive if it is done out of anger. Like, you're just so angry at your kid that you start hitting them...  

[I Red Roze I]

when spanking a child honestly depends because children can take things to far as in the mom screaming and yelling no and the child does it and the child might have gotten hurt so it's good when the parent does a light rump on the butt or a light slap on the hand.
as for whips and belts i am against it children are very fragile human beings so when they grow older they may do the same to their own children or they may have a mental disorder in the future
edit: spanking a child out of anger frustration or jealousy is considered abusive adding to the mental disorder or may come out violent or traumatized.
 

[Lisiana]

Spanking:

If used to discipline a child, then it is not abuse.

If used to take out their anger on children, then it is abuse.  

[flauterfli]

I was never spanked as a child but honestly, I really should have been.

I'd rather see a child spanked for crossing the road without looking, or taking off randomly, than being tied up to a leash. To me, that's more mentally abusive than spanking!

There's a fine line, though. I agree with the above posts.

Spanking is one of the few ways little kids will really understand that they did something wrong. They can't grasp safety or complex moral issues quite yet, but can correlate some uncomfortable pain with an action that isn't allowed.

I don't think spanking will prevent teenage rebellion, however. I'm a good student and respect my parents. And I was never ever spanked, despite being a horrid brat as a child.

It's more difficult to study the effects of spanking on a teen. Honor roll students, maybe? But even then, kids with high GPAs may still be getting high and breaking their parent's rules.

It's easier to research the effect of spanking on a child's behavior. In some cases, it works. In others, it doesn't. A parent that keeps spanking their child even if it doesn't work is borderline abusive.

Spanking is supposed to be a discipline method -- if the discipline isn't happening, the parent is obviously taking out their pent up anger out on a misbehaving child.

My boyfriend's mother was telling me about how she tried to spank him. It only made things worse. Since it didn't work and all it helped to do was get her frustration out, she used other methods that actually curbed his bad behavior.

It depends on the kid and the parent. Unless the kid is really physically hurt and the parent is only doing it for cruelty's sake, the law shouldn't get involved.
 

[ade4]

well, some people, if they werent as a child, might think of it as abuse. But it helps determine the line of okay and really bad things to do. so im a no on it being abuse  

[AThousandLullabies]

I don't know why people are saying being spanked with a belt is abuse. I was spanked with hands or a belt, and I wouldn't say I was abused. I mean, it's not like I came into school with bruises on my face or something. I just had a red booty. wink I think spanking is fine, and I plan to when I'm older if my kids are bad. I mean, hey, you may not like it, but it works. You smack 'em around a couple of times and they get the message, no?  

[BijutsuHime]

If a parent uses a belt or paddle, starving the child, or locking them in a little closet ect. I say abuse
If they use their own hands it's alright. If I had children I wouldn't use a belt on my kids.
My mother used to spank me when I was a little girl, (and reasonably too because I was quiet the handful xD)
today, I'm a decent person. I get good grades in school, I don't do drugs or get drunk. I have a good relationship with my parents, have plenty of friends: basically I turned out fine.
But the other thing is the fact that my mom used also time outs, or took things away that I liked.
she would also tell me WHY I was being punished so I learned not to do it again. you can't just spank a kid and assume they'll get it.  

[MadamoiselleMorganne]

When children are younger they do not understand the word 'no' and you cannot reason with them. It is not abuse to spank your 2-3 year old child when they do something wrong because that is the best way to get them to learn not to behave that way.

As they grow older they start learning right from wrong, and at that point then spanking should be stopped in most cases because you can actually explain to a child that what they are doing is wrong and why that behavior is wrong.  

[vxrs]

yes, it just breaks me to hear a child yell in pain. spankiing is bad.  

[Bipolar Masquerade]

I only consider it abuse when they spank multiple times, or with a paddle or belt, espcially when the parent is angry. If they want to discipline, a simple swat on the butt is plenty enough,