Could use some advice.

[chaoskaye]

My problem doesn't involve my sexuality. But, I've had another friend walk out on me, and tell me they didn't care. This keeps getting to me because it's almost always the same reason. My friends keep walking out on me because I won't share my past with them, my mistakes, my regrets, and my problems. These are things I'm not ready to share and people are seeming to not understanding that. Why can't people just leave it be? Why do they feel they can't be my friend anymore is they don't have this information? I honestly don't understand why. What do you guys think?  

[Taeryyn]

It's hard to say, without knowing the specifics. Even though it may not be the case, they may feel like you don't trust them, or that you don't value their opinion. They might even feel like you're hiding something from them. As hard as it is to lose friends, maybe you're better off without them. They aren't necessarily bad people, but if they aren't able to understand your need for privacy, then it's probably not possible to maintain any sort of real friendship with them.  

[chaoskaye]

Taeryyn

It's hard to say, without knowing the specifics. Even though it may not be the case, they may feel like you don't trust them, or that you don't value their opinion. They might even feel like you're hiding something from them. As hard as it is to lose friends, maybe you're better off without them. They aren't necessarily bad people, but if they aren't able to understand your need for privacy, then it's probably not possible to maintain any sort of real friendship with them.

True, it just gets tiring having so many people walk out on you. I have explained how personal some of my problems are and I do share the ones that aren't, I guess it doesn't matter to people like that. Thank you for your advice, I appreciate it.  

[BroHanSein]

Oh my god! YOU SOUND JUST LIKE ONE OF MY FRIENDS! >w<
She never likes sharing her past and her problems with us either!

This is how I feel when my friend never shares her problems with me:

PISSED OFF!

It's like she doesn't trust me, or she doesn't like me. It makes me feel like a bad friend not knowing who she is, where she came from, her insecurities.
She doesn't have to tell me everything, mostly just what's on her mind.

She told me before that she doesn't trust anyone (which pisses me off cause then, "You don't trust me either?"), and she also said that she doesn't want to burden us. What are friends for!? We help carry the burden! It's what we do! lol

Okay, but in your case it's different. You're not ready to share but at least one day you are willing to. If you're friends are true then they'll stay. You just need to let them know that you aren't ready to speak about your past, regrets and problems. You just need time, and that they should just respect your privacy. ^^ Anyway, I hope it'll all work out one day. Oh and, sorry for the mini rant. Me and my friend are still friends, but she still doesn't tell us her problems. But I can wait until the day she feels like opening up. xD  

[chaoskaye]

xClubbed2Deathx

Oh my god! YOU SOUND JUST LIKE ONE OF MY FRIENDS! >w<
She never likes sharing her past and her problems with us either!

This is how I feel when my friend never shares her problems with me:

PISSED OFF!

It's like she doesn't trust me, or she doesn't like me. It makes me feel like a bad friend not knowing who she is, where she came from, her insecurities.
She doesn't have to tell me everything, mostly just what's on her mind.

She told me before that she doesn't trust anyone (which pisses me off cause then, "You don't trust me either?"), and she also said that she doesn't want to burden us. What are friends for!? We help carry the burden! It's what we do! lol

Okay, but in your case it's different. You're not ready to share but at least one day you are willing to. If you're friends are true then they'll stay. You just need to let them know that you aren't ready to speak about your past, regrets and problems. You just need time, and that they should just respect your privacy. ^^ Anyway, I hope it'll all work out one day. Oh and, sorry for the mini rant. Me and my friend are still friends, but she still doesn't tell us her problems. But I can wait until the day she feels like opening up. xD

It's true I'm not ready to, but there's also more to it. I've shared all of my thoughts, my past, everything with someone I thought I would spend the rest of my life with. But she ended up throwing it all back at me as one big insult. This is partly why I'm nervous about telling people about it all. There's also that burden of throwing my problems at other people when they have their own lives to deal with. Y'know?

As for your friend, I suppose I'm partly like her. The difference is, I do trust people. I honestly trust my best friend with my life, I do call him my brother after all. But it would be nice having more understanding friends like you, and not people who decide to walk out on me. Thanks for sharing your advice and situation with me.  

[BroHanSein]

chaoskaye

xClubbed2Deathx

Oh my god! YOU SOUND JUST LIKE ONE OF MY FRIENDS! >w<
She never likes sharing her past and her problems with us either!

This is how I feel when my friend never shares her problems with me:

PISSED OFF!

It's like she doesn't trust me, or she doesn't like me. It makes me feel like a bad friend not knowing who she is, where she came from, her insecurities.
She doesn't have to tell me everything, mostly just what's on her mind.

She told me before that she doesn't trust anyone (which pisses me off cause then, "You don't trust me either?"), and she also said that she doesn't want to burden us. What are friends for!? We help carry the burden! It's what we do! lol

Okay, but in your case it's different. You're not ready to share but at least one day you are willing to. If you're friends are true then they'll stay. You just need to let them know that you aren't ready to speak about your past, regrets and problems. You just need time, and that they should just respect your privacy. ^^ Anyway, I hope it'll all work out one day. Oh and, sorry for the mini rant. Me and my friend are still friends, but she still doesn't tell us her problems. But I can wait until the day she feels like opening up. xD

It's true I'm not ready to, but there's also more to it. I've shared all of my thoughts, my past, everything with someone I thought I would spend the rest of my life with. But she ended up throwing it all back at me as one big insult. This is partly why I'm nervous about telling people about it all. There's also that burden of throwing my problems at other people when they have their own lives to deal with. Y'know?

As for your friend, I suppose I'm partly like her. The difference is, I do trust people. I honestly trust my best friend with my life, I do call him my brother after all. But it would be nice having more understanding friends like you, and not people who decide to walk out on me. Thanks for sharing your advice and situation with me.

Well, you're more different than my friend than I thought. You just gotta explain to your friends about that ex- special someone walking out. You have a damn pretty good reason for feeling insecure about sharing your past and everything. Just remember that not everyone is like that girl, she sounds unreasonable. Your friends sound unreasonable too. Maybe they have their own reasons. O-o Your welcome and you got this! 3nodding  

[chaoskaye]

xClubbed2Deathx

chaoskaye

xClubbed2Deathx

Oh my god! YOU SOUND JUST LIKE ONE OF MY FRIENDS! >w<
She never likes sharing her past and her problems with us either!

This is how I feel when my friend never shares her problems with me:

PISSED OFF!

It's like she doesn't trust me, or she doesn't like me. It makes me feel like a bad friend not knowing who she is, where she came from, her insecurities.
She doesn't have to tell me everything, mostly just what's on her mind.

She told me before that she doesn't trust anyone (which pisses me off cause then, "You don't trust me either?"), and she also said that she doesn't want to burden us. What are friends for!? We help carry the burden! It's what we do! lol

Okay, but in your case it's different. You're not ready to share but at least one day you are willing to. If you're friends are true then they'll stay. You just need to let them know that you aren't ready to speak about your past, regrets and problems. You just need time, and that they should just respect your privacy. ^^ Anyway, I hope it'll all work out one day. Oh and, sorry for the mini rant. Me and my friend are still friends, but she still doesn't tell us her problems. But I can wait until the day she feels like opening up. xD

It's true I'm not ready to, but there's also more to it. I've shared all of my thoughts, my past, everything with someone I thought I would spend the rest of my life with. But she ended up throwing it all back at me as one big insult. This is partly why I'm nervous about telling people about it all. There's also that burden of throwing my problems at other people when they have their own lives to deal with. Y'know?

As for your friend, I suppose I'm partly like her. The difference is, I do trust people. I honestly trust my best friend with my life, I do call him my brother after all. But it would be nice having more understanding friends like you, and not people who decide to walk out on me. Thanks for sharing your advice and situation with me.

Well, you're more different than my friend than I thought. You just gotta explain to your friends about that ex- special someone walking out. You have a damn pretty good reason for feeling insecure about sharing your past and everything. Just remember that not everyone is like that girl, she sounds unreasonable. Your friends sound unreasonable too. Maybe they have their own reasons. O-o Your welcome and you got this! 3nodding

The thing is I have explained, I've told them over and over. She was unreasonable I don't mean to rant. But, she was one of my biggest mistakes. After a year she became extremely abusive, but that's another story. Anyways, I suppose this help me pick out my true friends. Again, thank you.

Hey look, I even opened up a little. -Is proud of herself- :3  

[BroHanSein]

chaoskaye

xClubbed2Deathx

chaoskaye

xClubbed2Deathx

Oh my god! YOU SOUND JUST LIKE ONE OF MY FRIENDS! >w<
She never likes sharing her past and her problems with us either!

This is how I feel when my friend never shares her problems with me:

PISSED OFF!

It's like she doesn't trust me, or she doesn't like me. It makes me feel like a bad friend not knowing who she is, where she came from, her insecurities.
She doesn't have to tell me everything, mostly just what's on her mind.

She told me before that she doesn't trust anyone (which pisses me off cause then, "You don't trust me either?"), and she also said that she doesn't want to burden us. What are friends for!? We help carry the burden! It's what we do! lol

Okay, but in your case it's different. You're not ready to share but at least one day you are willing to. If you're friends are true then they'll stay. You just need to let them know that you aren't ready to speak about your past, regrets and problems. You just need time, and that they should just respect your privacy. ^^ Anyway, I hope it'll all work out one day. Oh and, sorry for the mini rant. Me and my friend are still friends, but she still doesn't tell us her problems. But I can wait until the day she feels like opening up. xD

It's true I'm not ready to, but there's also more to it. I've shared all of my thoughts, my past, everything with someone I thought I would spend the rest of my life with. But she ended up throwing it all back at me as one big insult. This is partly why I'm nervous about telling people about it all. There's also that burden of throwing my problems at other people when they have their own lives to deal with. Y'know?

As for your friend, I suppose I'm partly like her. The difference is, I do trust people. I honestly trust my best friend with my life, I do call him my brother after all. But it would be nice having more understanding friends like you, and not people who decide to walk out on me. Thanks for sharing your advice and situation with me.

Well, you're more different than my friend than I thought. You just gotta explain to your friends about that ex- special someone walking out. You have a damn pretty good reason for feeling insecure about sharing your past and everything. Just remember that not everyone is like that girl, she sounds unreasonable. Your friends sound unreasonable too. Maybe they have their own reasons. O-o Your welcome and you got this! 3nodding

The thing is I have explained, I've told them over and over. She was unreasonable I don't mean to rant. But, she was one of my biggest mistakes. After a year she became extremely abusive, but that's another story. Anyways, I suppose this help me pick out my true friends. Again, thank you.

Hey look, I even opened up a little. -Is proud of herself- :3

Wow, then you're friends are definitely being unreasonable. I hope everything works out for you.

ヽ(´ー`)人(´∇｀)人(`Д´)ノ  

[kittycross]

I would say that they aren't really being your friends if they are going to impose standards on you and command you do as they do or you're on you're own.
A real friend, or someone who wants to be one would let you have the time you need or if you are in a crisis situation, help you get the help you need, not just walk out because you don't meet their ideals.

I'm either a very open person or a very, very closed person. I have had a relatively traumatic life and many aspects of myself and my history just make people go eek and then they have a hard time seeing me as a person after, I become just some crisis-trauma survivor....so in life I tend to get a feel for a person before I tell them anything really in-depth about myself. If they can't deal with it, then they aren't really people I want to be spending time with anyway
If you tell the wrong people about who you are or what you've been though they will use it against you. Not everyone is the wrong person, but the danger of having your past weaponized or people suddenly treating you differently are very real.
It's very understandable to be cautious.
It might be annoying, fluster people's patience, and even offend some people to not have full disclosure of someone's past, but that is not something they have a right to. Being mildly uncomfortable is not excuse to be p***k someone they call a friend.  

[chaoskaye]

kittycross

I would say that they aren't really being your friends if they are going to impose standards on you and command you do as they do or you're on you're own.
A real friend, or someone who wants to be one would let you have the time you need or if you are in a crisis situation, help you get the help you need, not just walk out because you don't meet their ideals.

I'm either a very open person or a very, very closed person. I have had a relatively traumatic life and many aspects of myself and my history just make people go eek and then they have a hard time seeing me as a person after, I become just some crisis-trauma survivor....so in life I tend to get a feel for a person before I tell them anything really in-depth about myself. If they can't deal with it, then they aren't really people I want to be spending time with anyway
If you tell the wrong people about who you are or what you've been though they will use it against you. Not everyone is the wrong person, but the danger of having your past weaponized or people suddenly treating you differently are very real.
It's very understandable to be cautious.
It might be annoying, fluster people's patience, and even offend some people to not have full disclosure of someone's past, but that is not something they have a right to. Being mildly uncomfortable is not excuse to be p***k someone they call a friend.

Thank you. This is exactly why I have trouble opening up to people. My life may have not been COMPLETELY terrible. But it still was pretty bad. I just need to choose my friends more carefully, and if they can't deal with me not being completely open, then they aren't exactly my friends. I understand this now.  

[chaoskaye]

xClubbed2Deathx

chaoskaye

xClubbed2Deathx

chaoskaye

xClubbed2Deathx

Oh my god! YOU SOUND JUST LIKE ONE OF MY FRIENDS! >w<
She never likes sharing her past and her problems with us either!

This is how I feel when my friend never shares her problems with me:

PISSED OFF!

It's like she doesn't trust me, or she doesn't like me. It makes me feel like a bad friend not knowing who she is, where she came from, her insecurities.
She doesn't have to tell me everything, mostly just what's on her mind.

She told me before that she doesn't trust anyone (which pisses me off cause then, "You don't trust me either?"), and she also said that she doesn't want to burden us. What are friends for!? We help carry the burden! It's what we do! lol

Okay, but in your case it's different. You're not ready to share but at least one day you are willing to. If you're friends are true then they'll stay. You just need to let them know that you aren't ready to speak about your past, regrets and problems. You just need time, and that they should just respect your privacy. ^^ Anyway, I hope it'll all work out one day. Oh and, sorry for the mini rant. Me and my friend are still friends, but she still doesn't tell us her problems. But I can wait until the day she feels like opening up. xD

It's true I'm not ready to, but there's also more to it. I've shared all of my thoughts, my past, everything with someone I thought I would spend the rest of my life with. But she ended up throwing it all back at me as one big insult. This is partly why I'm nervous about telling people about it all. There's also that burden of throwing my problems at other people when they have their own lives to deal with. Y'know?

As for your friend, I suppose I'm partly like her. The difference is, I do trust people. I honestly trust my best friend with my life, I do call him my brother after all. But it would be nice having more understanding friends like you, and not people who decide to walk out on me. Thanks for sharing your advice and situation with me.

Well, you're more different than my friend than I thought. You just gotta explain to your friends about that ex- special someone walking out. You have a damn pretty good reason for feeling insecure about sharing your past and everything. Just remember that not everyone is like that girl, she sounds unreasonable. Your friends sound unreasonable too. Maybe they have their own reasons. O-o Your welcome and you got this! 3nodding

The thing is I have explained, I've told them over and over. She was unreasonable I don't mean to rant. But, she was one of my biggest mistakes. After a year she became extremely abusive, but that's another story. Anyways, I suppose this help me pick out my true friends. Again, thank you.

Hey look, I even opened up a little. -Is proud of herself- :3

Wow, then you're friends are definitely being unreasonable. I hope everything works out for you.

ヽ(´ー`)人(´∇｀)人(`Д´)ノ

I do too, but unfortunately life hasn't been going too well for me. But I won't rant about it. I'm still hopeful things will get better.