Welcome to Gaia! ::

I think, I'm at this point in my life, I have never been so miserable. I've been through some depressing times. The loss of my childhood dog 8yrs ago. Then two bad breakups since then. There was usually a silver lining though. A future to look forward too.

I can't even remember how long I've been single. My dog who is my life, is costing me so much money I have to work almost full time hours even though I'm a full time student to pay off his vet bills. I basically got intensely involved in dog sports and made it my life because I had no life. And now that he has arthritis at only 6yrs old, I don't know what to do with myself.

My cat, now 13yrs old, I've had since I was 10, and I'm in complete denial that he is getting old. He is pre renal disease. Not really in the disease state yet, but it's coming. And he's developed kidney stones in the meantime.

I haven't even had a crush on a guy in like...3 years. I'm emotionally dead. I had a brief physical relationship but for the past month and a half I can't even get this guy to have casual meaningless sex with me. I feel like a whore and yet I'm still worthless. It was the only thing I had going for me as pathetic as that is. It made me feel like being single and too busy to find a guy wasn't so bad cause I could have fun and experiment and live a little. I'm 23 guys. These should be the prime years of my life.

I'm hating my job, It's like torture at this point, to get up so early for something I dislike so much. I feel like crying all the time, for no reason. And then I not at all when I should. Like, I help euthanize animals and I'm sad but, not even a knot in my throat, I'm fine with it. And then I say goodbye to one of my best friends, not knowing if and when I'll EVER see her again, and the tears won't even come. I was laughing at the other girls cause they kept crying midsentence. But I go to school, and I'm so tired I just need to sit on the ground, and my teacher asks me what's wrong, and I'm fighting back tears just telling her that I'm tired. Or my dad gives me s**t about dishes not being done after I spent ALL DAY on my only day off all month which I spent cleaning and doing laundry, and I completely loose it.

Of all my friends I'm the only one still living with my parents, and I just want to get as far away from them as possible as soon as possible. I'm also the only one not married or engaged. The last one just got engaged. And I can't feel happy for them no matter how hard I try. I feel like it's crazy to be married SO young and when they've been with the guy for such a short amount of time. What does it change for me, nothing I suppose. I guess I feel that much more pathetic. I can't get a guy to stick around more than 6 months and all my friends are married.

I'm not even sure if this program is for me anymore. I feel like I'm just surviving, I'm not living at all. And I have at least 2yrs left like this. I'm not sleeping, or eating. When I do eat it's usually not anything nutritious, even though I'm strange enough to actually enjoy healthy food, I either can't afford it or don't have time for it. I'm just sooo tired. I feel like I should be having a mental break down and I don't know how so I just keep going like a soulless robot.

On the bright side, winter is coming up. You'll be able to go skiing again soon and all of that other stuff you do in the snow -shudders-

I wish there was something I could say to make all of the other stuff go away, but there isn't. Cowboy was probably a mill dog as you assume, so this kind of thing isn't totally unexpected. The good thing is that besides injuries, he does have his health. Maybe once you pay off your debts, you and Cowboy can take it easy and then you could scale your hours down some at the clinic.

I can't give you any social life advice, since I don't have one. But you know you don't want to be tied down so soon, so don't envy your friends. For all they know, they could be getting themselves stuck in really bad situations, especially if marrying people they don't know that well.

omg when? I don't have any days off to have "me time". I work Wednesday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday and I'm in school Monday-Thursday. I have have 4hrs between finishing work and starting class on Wednesday which is just enough to go home, have lunch, walk the dog and then drive to school. That IS my me time. Unless I try to bike to school on those days in attempts to get some exercise. I also try to swim most Mondays I have a 3hr break, not worth the gas to go anywhere so I swim and then study. Every other day I leave early, come home late, have no breaks and am completely exhausted.

I am going to email my boss that I need either Friday or Saturday off. Especially with finals coming in just 4 weeks. No idea how long I have to work 26hrs/week till the schedule can be changed though. But hopefully by the time she does, I'll have paid off visa, and then I can use my pays to pay dad off in instalments.

And yeah, I'm excited for winter. But keep in mind I'm totally broke. I might have debt paid off by xmas if I'm lucky, but then I have gifts to buy. I'll try to be budget friendly and make some things, or get deals online if possible but, I don't see myself being debt free by the start of ski season.

I wasn't expecting to have my fridays taken away from me. I mean I had given my availability and for the first month and a half I was working wednesday and saturday (plus sunday at the store). I did say that 15hrs max would be good to start but, I guess she didn't remember when making the new schedule. And I got it right after my 500 dollar vet bill so I just haven't said anything yet.

On top of that. Because of the misunderstanding, where I didn't check the second schedule that I didn't know existed, I just don't want to piss anyone off. Because I basically didn't show up at work 3 times. I feel like most people don't like me as it is. I don't wana just call in sick, or demand time off asap. Which is why I figure I'll email her (paper trail so she doesn't screw me over any more) this week. And just ask that she not schedule me so many days anymore. Worst case I see myself working 26hrs until Dec 3rd. That's as far as the schedule goes so if she does make me keep the hours it shouldn't be more than 5 weeks. Although that is a lot when I think about it, I'll definitely be in finals by then.

Voted for you!! I'm knitting everyone scarves for christmas, that's about $7 per person, depending on the quality of yarn. I'm sure something simple like that would be appreciated by everyone that you need to gift!

call in sick, they cant get mad at you for being sick. or try explaining to your boss that your feeling burned out and just need a day or 2 to yourself