Planning to visit boyfriend's family -

[Ariel Yardena Davidson]

So, i'm planning on visiting my boyfriend for the winter holiday and one of the ideas we talked about was visiting his relatives. But we're quite unsure on how to present ourselves.

Ya see, given that my boyfriend is an FtM and bi, he has an aunt that has been asking for "her" to get a boyfriend and was pissy about "her" wearing pants for Thanksgiving.

Not sure what to do. i'd drag in private and try to look minimally femme, but i'm not sure what is proper.  

[CheizLord]

Those situations are always tricky when other people expect you to be a certain way, especially when its family because you're stuck with them. A first time family meeting makes it harder... if it really does seem to be a problem then maybe on the first family meet you could introduce yourself as friend? I know its frustrating to not be able to be open about being his significant other to his family members, but if you think it will cause problems over the thanksgiving dinner table it might be best to wait. Let them get to know you first. This might give you a bias advantage in the future. Getting to know them over the dinner table without all the unspoken tension might make getting to know them a little easier.

However, If you think that it won't cause too much of a problem being introduced as the girlfriend then I say try to be as polite and kind as possible. Let them get to know you. Just try to let the evening flow and be sure to stay yourself.

My question is does any of the family know that hes Female to Male Transgender, or that you two are dating? If his immediate family does then maybe they could help be supportive when it comes to introducing yourself as his girlfriend. Since they know their own family well they should be able to help you out and make it less awkward. If they show they're okay with it then maybe the aunt might be a little more inclined to give the idea a chance if she sees the rest of the family is okay with it. If they don' know I suggest informing the immediate family first and take it one step at a time.

hope that helps,
Cheiz  

[Sifen Yamishi]

To answer some of the questions that might come up here:

1:
My parents know I'm Female to Male Transgender, as do an aunt and uncle in Florida. [Parents have openly disapproved this] I believe my aunt in Seattle knows, but she batted it off. Only my cousin knows I'm bisexual. Aunt in Seattle as well as my other relatives have been at me to get a boyfriend.

2:
Only my cousin knows we're dating at the moment as does Ash's sister, I believe. My mom is going to find out next month. She doesn't know that Ash crossdresses and is non-op MtF as well as bisexual.

Hope this helps.  

[Lady Kayura]

Tough situation is tough.

I'm a bit confused that they don't want your boyfriend wearing pants for Thanksgiving. Are they very formal about their celebrations? Or is it simply because they view your bf as a female and all females should wear skirts? Or is there some religious thing in there?

If the celebrations are formal, I'd say do what makes you feel most comfortable. If you aren't dragging all the time, I'd say not to do it for this. That way you aren't worried about how you look in addition to how the family's going to take you. Looking a little femme won't be an issue but don't let it be the focus. They'll find out more about drag later on. I think introducing them to that in addition to your new relationship might be too much for them to handle.

Introduce yourselves as a couple. Go into details about yourself if pressed for them. I'm sure your BF's parents will press for details but for the extended family, eh. If they ask, fill them in. If they don't, let them work on their own conclusions. Seems like they're doing that already with him.

I hope some of this helps. This is how I'd handle it but I'm super big on being non-confrontational. Almost to a fault. >_>  

[Sifen Yamishi]

@Lady Kayura:
My family and extended, is sadly like that.
They would like females to wear skirts/dresses during the special occasions.
And they don't know I'm FtM.  

[Lady Kayura]

Sifen Yamishi

@Lady Kayura:
My family and extended, is sadly like that.
They would like females to wear skirts/dresses during the special occasions.
And they don't know I'm FtM.

If they don't know you're FtM then don't let them know that Wolfram is a MtF.

As for skirts.. wow. Strict >_<  

[Ariel Yardena Davidson]

Lady Kayura

Sifen Yamishi

@Lady Kayura:
My family and extended, is sadly like that.
They would like females to wear skirts/dresses during the special occasions.
And they don't know I'm FtM.

If they don't know you're FtM then don't let them know that Wolfram is a MtF.

As for skirts.. wow. Strict >_<

the most i'd do would be leggings and a bra xP