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Posted: Thu Dec 01, 2011 2:18 am
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Xalikar Giesta Xalikar Giesta Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmm, well momentary lapse of sadness while posting. sweatdrop sadness? Part of my moods, I get them and sometimes they are slight and just pop-up and go away and sometimes when they really hit me they dont go away for many days I have even had a situation where I was down for close to two weeks. sweatdrop depression?
Yes, 3nodding
It is one of the things I have mentioned to another friend who is often around in 20PK Guid I talk with often as well as one other who is around me often on Gaia.
I am either Depressed in the sense of the classic way, Intense Sadness or I am in the way that I get into and a sort of Angry Depression sometimes.
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Posted: Thu Dec 01, 2011 2:22 am
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Giesta Xalikar Giesta Xalikar Giesta Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmm, well momentary lapse of sadness while posting. sweatdrop sadness? Part of my moods, I get them and sometimes they are slight and just pop-up and go away and sometimes when they really hit me they dont go away for many days I have even had a situation where I was down for close to two weeks. sweatdrop depression? Yes, 3nodding It is one of the things I have mentioned to another friend who is often around in 20PK Guid I talk with often as well as one other who is around me often on Gaia. I am either Depressed in the sense of the classic way, Intense Sadness or I am in the way that I get into and a sort of Angry Depression sometimes.
I would say it was a lucky guess...but having been diagnosed with it around 00'-01......I understand completely.
Times when you can't help but cry...even if its not even the least bit sad or angry over something you have little control over......
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Posted: Thu Dec 01, 2011 2:29 am
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Xalikar Giesta Xalikar Giesta Part of my moods, I get them and sometimes they are slight and just pop-up and go away and sometimes when they really hit me they dont go away for many days I have even had a situation where I was down for close to two weeks. sweatdrop depression? Yes, 3nodding It is one of the things I have mentioned to another friend who is often around in 20PK Guid I talk with often as well as one other who is around me often on Gaia. I am either Depressed in the sense of the classic way, Intense Sadness or I am in the way that I get into and a sort of Angry Depression sometimes. I would say it was a lucky guess...but having been diagnosed with it around 00'-01......I understand completely. Times when you can't help but cry...even if its not even the least bit sad or angry over something you have little control over......
I am un-diagnosed I have not ever went to a doctor about this. sweatdrop
Yes, and times that I have been so low I have though "Why was I even Born?" or "What reason is there for me to be here for?"
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Posted: Thu Dec 01, 2011 2:32 am
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Giesta Xalikar Giesta Xalikar Giesta Part of my moods, I get them and sometimes they are slight and just pop-up and go away and sometimes when they really hit me they dont go away for many days I have even had a situation where I was down for close to two weeks. sweatdrop depression? Yes, 3nodding It is one of the things I have mentioned to another friend who is often around in 20PK Guid I talk with often as well as one other who is around me often on Gaia. I am either Depressed in the sense of the classic way, Intense Sadness or I am in the way that I get into and a sort of Angry Depression sometimes. I would say it was a lucky guess...but having been diagnosed with it around 00'-01......I understand completely. Times when you can't help but cry...even if its not even the least bit sad or angry over something you have little control over...... I am un-diagnosed I have not ever went to a doctor about this. sweatdrop Yes, and times that I have been so low I have though "Why was I even Born?" or "What reason is there for me to be here for?"
And now I really do understand. Well, if you ever need someone to talk to, let me know, okay? It helps, don't keep it to yourself, internalizing it just makes it worse.
I am going through another purpose phase....right now.
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Posted: Thu Dec 01, 2011 2:36 am
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Xalikar Giesta Xalikar Giesta Yes, 3nodding It is one of the things I have mentioned to another friend who is often around in 20PK Guid I talk with often as well as one other who is around me often on Gaia. I am either Depressed in the sense of the classic way, Intense Sadness or I am in the way that I get into and a sort of Angry Depression sometimes. I would say it was a lucky guess...but having been diagnosed with it around 00'-01......I understand completely. Times when you can't help but cry...even if its not even the least bit sad or angry over something you have little control over...... I am un-diagnosed I have not ever went to a doctor about this. sweatdrop Yes, and times that I have been so low I have though "Why was I even Born?" or "What reason is there for me to be here for?" And now I really do understand. Well, if you ever need someone to talk to, let me know, okay? It helps, don't keep it to yourself, internalizing it just makes it worse. I am going through another purpose phase....right now.
Thanks, and I am here if you need to talk as well.
I try not to keep it in I know it will make it worse, I have only tried one time unsuccessfully to hurt myself and I wont try it again. sweatdrop
I see, it is good to have a purpose. 3nodding
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Posted: Thu Dec 01, 2011 2:48 am
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Giesta Xalikar Giesta Xalikar Giesta Yes, 3nodding It is one of the things I have mentioned to another friend who is often around in 20PK Guid I talk with often as well as one other who is around me often on Gaia. I am either Depressed in the sense of the classic way, Intense Sadness or I am in the way that I get into and a sort of Angry Depression sometimes. I would say it was a lucky guess...but having been diagnosed with it around 00'-01......I understand completely. Times when you can't help but cry...even if its not even the least bit sad or angry over something you have little control over...... I am un-diagnosed I have not ever went to a doctor about this. sweatdrop Yes, and times that I have been so low I have though "Why was I even Born?" or "What reason is there for me to be here for?" And now I really do understand. Well, if you ever need someone to talk to, let me know, okay? It helps, don't keep it to yourself, internalizing it just makes it worse. I am going through another purpose phase....right now. Thanks, and I am here if you need to talk as well. I try not to keep it in I know it will make it worse, I have only tried one time unsuccessfully to hurt myself and I wont try it again. sweatdrop I see, it is good to have a purpose. 3nodding
Keeping it in can be...deadly....
The last time my thoughts got that far was around a certain time....not so long ago....I had to break my promise to someone or break down myself...again....I had to do the first one or I fear I would have cracked like an egg. When I get that low.....its slightly noticeable....I'm withdrawn and sad. I'd say that I won't do it again...but I can't possibly keep anymore promises that I might not be able to keep. I....((tried 4 times, the fourth time ....was a year ago....I completely snapped and locked myself in the bathroom with a pair of scissors and my still bleeding wrist. The police were almost involved, but my mother was able to calm me down....))
Purpose is tricky....
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Posted: Thu Dec 01, 2011 2:50 am
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Xalikar Giesta Xalikar Giesta Xalikar I would say it was a lucky guess...but having been diagnosed with it around 00'-01......I understand completely. Times when you can't help but cry...even if its not even the least bit sad or angry over something you have little control over...... I am un-diagnosed I have not ever went to a doctor about this. sweatdrop Yes, and times that I have been so low I have though "Why was I even Born?" or "What reason is there for me to be here for?" And now I really do understand. Well, if you ever need someone to talk to, let me know, okay? It helps, don't keep it to yourself, internalizing it just makes it worse. I am going through another purpose phase....right now. Thanks, and I am here if you need to talk as well. I try not to keep it in I know it will make it worse, I have only tried one time unsuccessfully to hurt myself and I wont try it again. sweatdrop I see, it is good to have a purpose. 3nodding Keeping it in can be...deadly.... The last time my thoughts got that far was around a certain time....not so long ago....I had to break my promise to someone or break down myself...again....I had to do the first one or I fear I would have cracked like an egg. When I get that low.....its slightly noticeable....I'm withdrawn and sad. I'd say that I won't do it again...but I can't possibly keep anymore promises that I might not be able to keep. I....(( tried 4 times, the fourth time ....was a year ago....I completely snapped and locked myself in the bathroom with a pair of scissors and my still bleeding wrist. The police were almost involved, but my mother was able to calm me down....)) Purpose is tricky....
Yes, 3nodding
I never had the guts to do myself harm at least enough in a painful way.
I had some incident with cutting that one time and never did any thing of that sort again. sweatdrop
I see, is it a good purpose or a bad purpose?
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Posted: Thu Dec 01, 2011 2:55 am
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Giesta Xalikar Giesta Xalikar Giesta Xalikar I would say it was a lucky guess...but having been diagnosed with it around 00'-01......I understand completely. Times when you can't help but cry...even if its not even the least bit sad or angry over something you have little control over...... I am un-diagnosed I have not ever went to a doctor about this. sweatdrop Yes, and times that I have been so low I have though "Why was I even Born?" or "What reason is there for me to be here for?" And now I really do understand. Well, if you ever need someone to talk to, let me know, okay? It helps, don't keep it to yourself, internalizing it just makes it worse. I am going through another purpose phase....right now. Thanks, and I am here if you need to talk as well. I try not to keep it in I know it will make it worse, I have only tried one time unsuccessfully to hurt myself and I wont try it again. sweatdrop I see, it is good to have a purpose. 3nodding Keeping it in can be...deadly.... The last time my thoughts got that far was around a certain time....not so long ago....I had to break my promise to someone or break down myself...again....I had to do the first one or I fear I would have cracked like an egg. When I get that low.....its slightly noticeable....I'm withdrawn and sad. I'd say that I won't do it again...but I can't possibly keep anymore promises that I might not be able to keep. I....(( tried 4 times, the fourth time ....was a year ago....I completely snapped and locked myself in the bathroom with a pair of scissors and my still bleeding wrist. The police were almost involved, but my mother was able to calm me down....)) Purpose is tricky.... Yes, 3nodding I never had the guts to do myself harm at least enough in a painful way. I had some incident with cutting that one time and never did any thing of that sort again. sweatdrop I see, is it a good purpose or a bad purpose?
I am classified as a cutter..... my upper arm.... sweatdrop
life purpose, what's my purpose? Do I need a purpose? What's the point of existing if you don't land in the history books? Who will remember you?-----that sort of line of thought....
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Posted: Thu Dec 01, 2011 2:57 am
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Xalikar Giesta Xalikar Giesta Xalikar And now I really do understand. Well, if you ever need someone to talk to, let me know, okay? It helps, don't keep it to yourself, internalizing it just makes it worse. I am going through another purpose phase....right now. Thanks, and I am here if you need to talk as well. I try not to keep it in I know it will make it worse, I have only tried one time unsuccessfully to hurt myself and I wont try it again. sweatdrop I see, it is good to have a purpose. 3nodding Keeping it in can be...deadly.... The last time my thoughts got that far was around a certain time....not so long ago....I had to break my promise to someone or break down myself...again....I had to do the first one or I fear I would have cracked like an egg. When I get that low.....its slightly noticeable....I'm withdrawn and sad. I'd say that I won't do it again...but I can't possibly keep anymore promises that I might not be able to keep. I....(( tried 4 times, the fourth time ....was a year ago....I completely snapped and locked myself in the bathroom with a pair of scissors and my still bleeding wrist. The police were almost involved, but my mother was able to calm me down....)) Purpose is tricky.... Yes, 3nodding I never had the guts to do myself harm at least enough in a painful way. I had some incident with cutting that one time and never did any thing of that sort again. sweatdrop I see, is it a good purpose or a bad purpose? I am classified as a cutter..... my upper arm.... sweatdrop life purpose, what's my purpose? Do I need a purpose? What's the point of existing if you don't land in the history books? Who will remember you?-----that sort of line of thought....
I tried stupidly to cut my wrist and of course doing that involves to much pain for anyone without enough will-power to cut all the way threw there muscles and into their wrist and into the veins.
I see, will you leave anything behind to be remembered by? sort of purpose. 3nodding
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Posted: Thu Dec 01, 2011 12:15 pm
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Giesta Xalikar Giesta Xalikar Giesta Xalikar And now I really do understand. Well, if you ever need someone to talk to, let me know, okay? It helps, don't keep it to yourself, internalizing it just makes it worse. I am going through another purpose phase....right now. Thanks, and I am here if you need to talk as well. I try not to keep it in I know it will make it worse, I have only tried one time unsuccessfully to hurt myself and I wont try it again. sweatdrop I see, it is good to have a purpose. 3nodding Keeping it in can be...deadly.... The last time my thoughts got that far was around a certain time....not so long ago....I had to break my promise to someone or break down myself...again....I had to do the first one or I fear I would have cracked like an egg. When I get that low.....its slightly noticeable....I'm withdrawn and sad. I'd say that I won't do it again...but I can't possibly keep anymore promises that I might not be able to keep. I....(( tried 4 times, the fourth time ....was a year ago....I completely snapped and locked myself in the bathroom with a pair of scissors and my still bleeding wrist. The police were almost involved, but my mother was able to calm me down....)) Purpose is tricky.... Yes, 3nodding I never had the guts to do myself harm at least enough in a painful way. I had some incident with cutting that one time and never did any thing of that sort again. sweatdrop I see, is it a good purpose or a bad purpose? I am classified as a cutter..... my upper arm.... sweatdrop life purpose, what's my purpose? Do I need a purpose? What's the point of existing if you don't land in the history books? Who will remember you?-----that sort of line of thought.... I tried stupidly to cut my wrist and of course doing that involves to much pain for anyone without enough will-power to cut all the way threw there muscles and into their wrist and into the veins. I see, will you leave anything behind to be remembered by? sort of purpose. 3nodding
I have a scar on my wrist from the incident..... sweatdrop if you have a low tolerance for pain, I won't tell you what I did....not for the squeamish
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Posted: Fri Dec 02, 2011 12:42 am
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Xalikar Giesta Xalikar Giesta Xalikar Keeping it in can be...deadly.... The last time my thoughts got that far was around a certain time....not so long ago....I had to break my promise to someone or break down myself...again....I had to do the first one or I fear I would have cracked like an egg. When I get that low.....its slightly noticeable....I'm withdrawn and sad. I'd say that I won't do it again...but I can't possibly keep anymore promises that I might not be able to keep. I....(( tried 4 times, the fourth time ....was a year ago....I completely snapped and locked myself in the bathroom with a pair of scissors and my still bleeding wrist. The police were almost involved, but my mother was able to calm me down....)) Purpose is tricky.... Yes, 3nodding I never had the guts to do myself harm at least enough in a painful way. I had some incident with cutting that one time and never did any thing of that sort again. sweatdrop I see, is it a good purpose or a bad purpose? I am classified as a cutter..... my upper arm.... sweatdrop life purpose, what's my purpose? Do I need a purpose? What's the point of existing if you don't land in the history books? Who will remember you?-----that sort of line of thought.... I tried stupidly to cut my wrist and of course doing that involves to much pain for anyone without enough will-power to cut all the way threw there muscles and into their wrist and into the veins. I see, will you leave anything behind to be remembered by? sort of purpose. 3nodding I have a scar on my wrist from the incident..... sweatdrop if you have a low tolerance for pain, I won't tell you what I did....not for the squeamish
If you wish you can tell me, I have heard and seen a great many horrible things on the Internet in time.
(Though if it is easier you dont have to say here if it makes you more comfortable.)
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