Sometimes...(Yoyomi's journal post at your own risk!!)^^

[Pseudoyoyomi]

Yoyomi's journal

This is where I think I will write things that happen to me day after day. From the time I was in high school I thought I lived a pretty interesting life and that maybe one day it could become a tv show. Everyone is free to post if you wish. Honestly I don't think people pay much attention to me anyways whether it be in real life or online but this concludes the introduction.  

[Pseudoyoyomi]

January 17th 2012 {12:33 am}

Well I dunno nothing eventful really happened today.My day started off pretty much the same as always.I woke up stopped my 8:30 alarm and rolled back over for another half hour then I woke up again and turned off my 9 alarm and muttered that I needed more sleep. Sometimes I just wish there was a day I did not have to get up early.But sadly I know that will never be the case.If I am not getting up because I have stuff to do then I am getting up because someone is waking me up to something for them.

Honestly I feel like I don't matter in my family but right when I get that feeling someone finds me something to do.And sometimes I really don't want them to rely on me. I mean figure it out for yourself once in while.I know family is supposed to be there and care for each other but most of the time I feel like I am the butt of jokes.Honestly I think my parents specifically my mother doubts my intelligence. Yeah I can laugh and have fun and play the role of the daughter who is bubbly or air-headed if you will.But because I choose to be fun and happy all the time it does not by any means make me stupid or a dummy.

Some of the jokes make me out to be stupid and honestly I can't stand it most of the time.Sunday I was the butt of jokes and I got mad and just left. I told them I was running away from home and they joked that I could not run anywhere.Because I walk so slow that I could not run. And I had to tell them just because you never see me run does not mean I am not capable of running.There is a difference in choosing what you do and not being able to do things. rolleyes

I could sit here all day and make mean hurtful jokes about my sister and my brother...but do I no...because I am mindful of the feelings of others.But do they joke about me yes all the time. Sometimes I think I should just stop caring and let it all out on the table.I just can't wait until the day I get away from all this.

So I went to dialysis early in the morning it was freezing cold and windy.I found out today that I need new headphones because now not even one earplug works. I am sending these back to skullcandy and they will replace them because this is ridiculous. Every pair of headphones I buy like this end up breaking.It has not even been a full year yet and again I have lost another pair of headphones. gonk I am going to get myself an awesome over the ear pair I saw them like 2 years ago and the color would look good with my purple ipod nano. xd .

I am worried about a patient at the dialysis center. She is the nicest older lady and I heard from the staff that she was sick and in the hospital.I care about her but it did not cross my mind to get the hospital name of where she is admitted.My mother asked me why I did not think of it.I said well it never crossed my mind to ask.Somedays I have alot on my mind and some days I have nothing at all on my mind but I still feel like I am full of thoughts.Complicated...that is the best word to describe me. blaugh

Then my boyfriend tells me he finally got his date for shipping off to basic training.April 17th. I dunno what to think.I only feel like he is abandoning me.I have some abandonment issues.Only because he is like the only boyfriend I ever had...in the history of like ever.Well I think that is all I have right now.I need to wash dishes I am sitting here watching cupcake wars on demand and I wish I had a piece of cake. sweatdrop  

[Pseudoyoyomi]

January 30th,2012 {9:47 pm}

I don't write everyday hell I am lucky if I find the time to write once every few days.Right now I am mourning the loss my nilla wafers. I love nilla wafers they are so addictive and tasty...and I did not lose them per say...more like I ate them all up. It was only a bag of the mini ones...and it calls itself the big bag. Psh. More like the not big enough bag. gonk Recently I have been playing more xbox than getting on gaia. I dunno taking a break it's kinda like I stopped caring. I was in the process of doing art and I even stopped doing that mostly because I got tired of being disappointed with what I was doing. This picture still does not have shoes on it. Everything I drew on the picture was so difficult I really don't think I should be obligated to add shoes as well. sweatdrop I wanted to be done with all the freebies by the end of January but there is only one more full day left in January. I suppose I could force myself to sit down and draw and color all day tomorrow like I did that other day and now that I have working headphones I can distract myself with music. And I have to pay my school 220 dollars so I can take more classes. It's a good things that when I do add those classes that they will give back my financial aid. But for some reason I feel like it is going to be a struggle to get my aid back. Nothing involving school is ever easy for me. confused
Yesterday I basically had to let one of my bf's friends have it. We were playing altogether and he said something that basically got on my nerves. I was not pmsing or anything but he pushed me right over my ledge and into angryville. After I cussed him out I was hot and he shut his mouth for the rest of the game. It felt good. Normally I am super composed and things that bother me I bite my tongue and keep them all bottled up inside but this time I just let it out. And whats more I did not get emotional and cry while yelling at him either. Normally when I am mad and yelling at someone I cry while doing it. blaugh It's just I would rather play 1 million games and lose but have team mates that support me and don't make me feel bad than to play any number of winning games with someone who is an a*****e and makes me feel bad every chance he gets. I am sitting here in my ice cream night pants and wishing I had cupcakes or at least muffins. 3nodding I am thinking about just giving up on restoring my itunes playlist to what it once was. It's just starting to seem impossible.I had so many unique songs that can't be found online. No matter how many databases i search these local bands will not be found online.*sighs* I have not updated my ipod in over a year now because of this snafu. My friend gave me itunes money to buy more songs on my birthday and I have yet to do so because my playlist is not complete yet.But now I have so many new things I am ready to give up on the old things. with all the new things I have I might not miss the old things like I think I will. Besides I can always realize when something is missing and I can try to find it again.It's just been so much work. crying I dunno if I should play my xbox tonight in my boyfriends perfect gaming world I get along with all his friends...and that just won't be happening. On a side note it has been like 4 months since I last saw my boyfriend he has been away in Virginia for so long and I want a kiss and a hug.I miss him. cry