Lymphoma is ugly in so many ways!

Dan was sick for quite a while, but no one could ever figure out what was wrong. Some thought it was psychosomatic. He saw every kind of specialist, including infectious disease doctors. No one could figure out why Dan was always getting sick and never could get completely better. He had terrible stomach problems, bronchitis was a normal thing for him. He had all kinds of tests. The funny thing was, one of the tests he had done, showed inflamed lymph nodes in his stomach which the doctors attributed to the fact that he had stomach flu and reflux problems. I kept telling them that something wasn't right, but no one would listen to me.

Then, Dan got these little fatty tumors on his back and thighs. Nothing major, but they were annoying him, so his doctor sent him to a surgeon to have them removed. They didn't seem extraordinary, that's what the surgeon said, but still they had to be biopsied. That was his standard procedure for all tumors removed. He told us not to worry, he was sure it was going to be ok.

When Dan missed his follow up appointment, the doctor called him personally to tell him to come in the next day and bring me with him. When questioned why it was so important, the doctor had to tell my husband of 13years over the phone that he had cancer, lymphona to be exact.
I got the call at work from my husband and that is how I found out. Imagine how I felt. My world started to collapse. My drive home from work was hell!

The oncologist we were referred to was optimistic, and chemotherapy was started almost immediately. But, that was almost worse than the cancer. We knew to expect hair loss, but the weight loss and the loss of immunity to infection was bad. Any little cold became bronchitis or pneumonia. These cases were far worse than the ones he had before because he had no resistance to any infection now. Trips to the hospital were commonplace.

But, after 10 weeks of chemo, tests showed the lymphoma was in remission. HOORAY!

We we relieved, but that was short-lived. Dan's immune system was destroyed. He still got very ill with even the slightest cold. As time went on, things got worse. He saw pulmonary specialists about the chronic bronchitis. After three short years,and although the oncologist refused to admit it, the pulmonary doctor said, the lymphoma was obviously back. Even the ER doctors and Xray doctors could tell.

Chemo was out of the question. Dan's immune system was already shot. He was going to the ER 3-4 times a month with breathing problems. Half the time he would be admitted. Half the time, they just said, take him home and pray he gets better with antibiotics. After a while, the doctors came up with a plan. Certain criteria had to take Dan to the ER . Making a long story short- the criteria that last night were not met.

On August 5th, 2000, Dan's breathing was so loud I couldn't stay in the same room with him, so I went to sleep on the couch, but it was restless sleep. Every 2 hrs or so, I woke up and could hear him. I went in and he was sleeping. His breathing was labored, loud, but he was breathing. After doing this a few times. I went back to the living room and fell asleep about 4:am. Around 6:30am August 6, 2000, I woke up to a quite apartment.

I went to the bedroom and Dan was silent. I got on the bed and he was so peaceful. No labored breathing, No gasping for air. He was gone. Lymphoma had taken him from me.