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 Posted: Fri Apr 05, 2013 9:59 am
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Posted: Sat Apr 06, 2013 11:15 am
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Posted: Tue Apr 30, 2013 8:36 am
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Posted: Wed May 29, 2013 7:08 pm
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Hello all!
The bad: Manda went around telling people that I was physically/am physically abusive. Which is a load of bull. It's sad that people believed her though, people that have known me for 10 years. Isn't that sad?
I sent Paul {one of the people she told} a letter telling him everything. About our affair, about how she cheated and never owned up to it. Hopefully she won't cheat on Andy, because they'll never know.
How she threatened to kill herself if we broke up, how if she couldn't get into my facebook account, she would freak out. I had to hide hanging out with my best friend because she hated her. She always thought James was cheating on us, when he's never cheated on anyone.
Right now she's off her medication and she has endorphins of a new relationship {I'm thinking a re-bound since she hasn't been single for more than a month in the past 8 years}, but eventually she'll turn crazy for them too. They just never saw it because I was always there for her. All her breakdowns she had me. Not anymore.
I also mentioned how she talked about dating Andy out of spite to hurt James. Good thing he's a virgin, so he won't be able to tell she's bad at sex.
So, yeah. It feels good just telling someone about it, even if no one reads this. |
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Posted: Wed May 29, 2013 7:12 pm
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Posted: Thu May 30, 2013 10:37 pm
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Posted: Wed Dec 04, 2013 10:15 pm
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Posted: Thu Dec 05, 2013 9:49 am
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Posted: Thu Dec 05, 2013 10:44 am
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The_9th_Doctors_Rose Crew
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Posted: Thu Dec 05, 2013 10:48 am
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Posted: Tue Jul 14, 2015 8:58 am
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Life got turned upside down since 2013. That December I ended up pregnant and had a little girl Sept. 29, ten days after my son turned two.
My pregnancy was horrid. Not physically, but relationship and mentally wise. Eric got a new job with benefits. He got friends. That all wanted to just hang and drink. He got envious of his single coworkers that could go out and get drunk and sleep with whoever because they didn't have a wife to worry about.
I was pregnant and often stuck home alone with our son. I disappeared more into the virtual world because I couldn't find a way to talk to him to make him know what was going on. It seemed every time I tried to talk to him about our issues he would brush it off.
He eventually told me that we had married too young. He had never had a chance to live life as a single adult.
That was so hard to hear. He was my whole world and here he didn't want me. I still think the only reason he stayed was out of obligation of me and the kids.
When Shi was born, things got better, but we still struggle financially. So I got a job with him. I still caught him messaging women secretly and hiding it from me and wanting to keep secrets. I couldn't trust him anymore because I had been lied to so much.
He took my whole first pay check and spent it on a night out with the guys. Drinking and ihop. He then didn't help to get formula or diapers from freestores. I did that.
The next time he went drinking he was supposed to only take 40 dollars. He took 100 and spent 80. I felt like I was a single parent in everything but name. Our son has issues with Eric because he wasn't around. Everyone and everything else was more important.
I got my own bank account. At this time, I started making friends at my new work. Specifically a guy.
It started out as friendship. Around the time that Eric took the 100, I told him that there was nothing I could give up to make back what he spent. I stopped viewing him as a partner and just settled with the fact that I would be unhappy.
He decided to change in little ways, but I was too infatuated with Parker (guy friend) to really see it. I kept feeling that our time as a couple was over with. He didn't want it anymore and I had stopped trying to fix it since I felt I was the only one that wanted to fix it.
And Parker was there. He was wonderful. He didn't get angry at the drop of a hat. He drove into a ditch after dropping me off at home one night and I went to sit with him while we waited for his dad. I expected and prepared to be yelled at and blamed.
He wasn't mad. He was happy that I was waiting with him and he felt stupid that it happened. But it didn't ruin his day at all.
It was so weird. He was everything that Eric used to be, back before the drinking/partying/drugs. It was so nice to feel wanted after so long of feeling unwanted.
I ended up cheating on Eric. We went through a really, really, really bad time of it all. In the end, Eric and Parker both fought for me. I chose Eric originally out of guilt, but after lashing out at him and hating him and him trying to make me happy still, it kind of clicked.
He was turning back into what he used to be. We're spending more time together. I give up sleep (and also internet time) to spend time with him.
The only thing that really saddens me is that I can't interact with Parker (for obvious reasons, I have only myself to blame) but I miss the friendship that could have been there.
It doesn't help that I hear from coworkers that Parker tells them I was just a crush and he's now moving to Columbus to be with a woman.
All this happened March-now. I haven't been in contact with Parker since May, except for one brief conversation at work where I asked him if he said I was just a crush. He told me no, but then Eric walked in. If I talk to him again, there is no chance for me and Eric. At all.
And I'm falling for Eric all over again. He just has a lot of issues about us now. Sometimes he falters and throws what I did in my face (his father is in the hospital right now) and sometimes he's not sure if he wants to be with me.
Then he tells me that he sees me and falls in love all over again. He loves me and wants us to work out and grow old together. |
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Posted: Mon Sep 21, 2015 11:46 pm
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