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 Posted: Sun Mar 03, 2013 1:00 pm
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Posted: Sun Mar 03, 2013 5:53 pm
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Posted: Tue Mar 05, 2013 4:10 am
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5 March 2013, Tuesday
Soooo I went and got I hair cut for the first time in over two years yesterday. Haven't dared to do it since the last time I cut it at a hairdresser and she cut it too short when I told her not to, and one side of the hair was longer than the other. But now I've mustered up and got myself a new haircut in hopes of not getting disappointed. But just like every time I cut it, I get disappointed the day after. I feel ugly, to be honest. The fringe looks weird, the rest of the hair feels too short, I can't get it to look good and it just feels wrong. Why on earth did I decide to get a hair cut?! Oh, right! I promised my boyfriend to do it, and I needed to trim the ends that were breaking super easily. Oh, and to get rid of the damaged hair from all my bleaching. But Instead I have now ended up with a haircut I don't like. Maybe it's just temporary. Hopefully I'll get used to it in a few days when I know how to style it to make it look...ok. I want volume in my hair, but I can't seem to get it, which bothers me quite a lot. When I try to fix it, it just looks stupid.
What have I learned from that? Never cut your hair again. Ever.
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Posted: Sun Mar 17, 2013 8:16 am
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17 March 2013, Sunday
My new haircut is fine now. I'm not as upset about it any more. It's fine as long as I cut put it in a ponytail or sometime. But now that I have bangs, I can make that super, mega, awesomesauce kawaii neko mimi hairstyle! OMG it's so cute and I love it! Have no idea what I'm talking about? It looks something like this and is the absolute cutest hairstyle I know. And I'm so happy that I've finally managed to find an easy way to make it. Next hair challenge is the ribbon. But I think my hair is too short for that. But I won't know until I've tried.
I got home from my boyfriend on Thursday and I had very mixed feelings about getting home. This time felt...different, somehow. I don't know what it was, but it didn't feel the same to get home. I felt like an alien, and I still do sometimes. It doesn't feel right to live here. Sounds stupid, I know, but...yeah. I really, really want to get my own place, but since I don't have a job and there are seriously no jobs where I live, I can't get one; I don't get enough money from going to school until I get to study at 100% speed (I'm studying 50% now. It's hard to describe how it works) and I will hopefully do that this fall if I can attend the program I want to study. In short - right now, there is no way in heaven that I can get my own place since I don't have an income.
I've had my period and binged like crazy; been eating lots and lots of candy and had lots of coke and stuff. I feel bad about it. But the scale was nice to me this morning, so I guess it's okey. But I still feel like crap in a bag when I eat. Meh.
My Japanese classes makes me anxious and I hate it and I don't want to. I kinda want to hide under a rock. But I have class on Friday as well and then nothing for two weeks. Woho! Hopefully me feelings towards it changes.
And I had nothing to do yesterday so I decided to make myself a small "RP character library" where I put all my characters with information about them along with RP samples and stuff. It's kinda fun, but I've only been able to post four of my...thirteen characters so far. I think there's thirteen of them. Two girls. Ehe... Have a look here if your curious.
Going to see a friend on Friday that I haven't seen in ages! I think I'm staying at her place over the weekend. Been a long time since I socialized with someone apart from my boyfriend. But it ain't easy to see friends that don't exist or care to ask how things are going. My best friend lives like...over six hours away from me. By train! Which sucks. I miss her. Since we finished school I've only met her once, and that was in November when we went to see Cirque du Soleil together.
Okeii, enough ranting and ranom babbling. Hug me?
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Posted: Sun Mar 17, 2013 9:14 am
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Posted: Sun Mar 17, 2013 9:20 am
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Posted: Sun Apr 21, 2013 7:42 am
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Posted: Sun Apr 21, 2013 4:06 pm
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Posted: Thu Oct 10, 2013 4:51 am
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10 October 2013, Thursday
Wow. It's been a million years since I was here last. Where does the time go? Thought I'd might pop in for a small update of some sort. Not that anyone's even interested but - hey! Who cares? (:
To sum up what happened during summer and up till now I'll make it short like this - went to boyfriend in May and stayed all summer, got engaged on June 20th, up's and down's all summer, tried the LCHF diet and failed, got in to university, FINALLY found an apartment, moved in with bf a week after I returned home to my parents, started uni five days after moving, made an awesome new friend, went to see YOHIO on 21 September, dyed my hair in a dark red/brown colour, went to see YOHIO & GACKT on October 5th and cried my eyes out because GACKT <3, and had a few minor breakdowns since moving due to various things. Got all that? No? OK! (: And as for today, I'm starting to get sick; my throat hurt like I've swallowed a grater or something.
I've been living in my super fancy and lovely apartment for two months soon, and I still don't own a scale and that's making me NUTS! Seriously! I neeeeeed a scale! Not knowing my weight is slowly killing me! I haven't been able to weigh myself for two months and that's horrible. I'm so afraid that I've gained since moving. ; u ;
And I realized like...yesterday or something, that I really, really miss role playing in my native language (Swedish for the curious one). Sometimes it's easier to express myself in my own language since I know all the words! But I love role playing in English too since that's a great way to practice. Only downside is that most of the RP's I'm in/have been in, all of the others are in a totally different time zone (ie The US~~) and I'm sleeping when they're awake and vice verse. And that kinda sucks.
And I really need to get myself some cough drops or something before I die.
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Posted: Sun Nov 03, 2013 10:31 am
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3 November 2013, Sunday
Sometimes I just get so frustrated that I don't know where to go. Like... I don't even know. I get frustrated because I can't express my thoughts in anyway and then I get sad and everything like just...falls apart. I can't even bother to study for my exams and I hate going to school. Okey, not all the time, but most of the time I do. I feel useless and I fail at everything I do. Everything in my body constantly hurts. The only thing I want to do is curl into a ball and hide under a blanket for some time. A long time, actually. I'm starting to doubt that I love my boyfriend as much I as say I do, and that kinda hurts to admit. But it's like... I don't know. My mind is all fuzzy for most of the time and I don't enjoy sleeping with him. Urgh, I don't know. It all just sucks. Like, really sucks. And I most definitely don't want to talk to him about it. Not a chance. I would rather throw myself off of a cliff!
I still don't own that goddamn scale and I hate it. The last time I weighed myself was last weekend, and then I was about 59kg (~130lbs) and I'm like super paranoid that I've gained since then. Everything I wear feels uncomfortable and I'd rather just prance around in my sweatpants all day if I could, because that's basically the only thing I feel comfortable in. But on the other hand, I would never wear them outside. So if I need to go grocery shopping I still need to put make up on and get properly dressed before even stepping outside the door. It's all just so bothersome and I hate it.
Okey, Imma stop my whining now and go be sad somewhere else! (:
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