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 Posted: Thu Jul 26, 2012 1:00 pm
Being gay is one of those things you just know right? I struggle with it not because I am trying to deny who I am but because I know that I would be completely rejected and alone. I have a friend or two who would still talk to me but my family would probably reject me. On top of that there was someone I always liked and they asked me straight or gay and I was like straight cause I obviously am not ready to say/do anything. But it killed me cause I didn't want to say that but if I can find a way to tell people how would I go about telling they one who ask me? Do you think they would be mad and not wanna talk to me or glad I told them the truth?
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Posted: Thu Jul 26, 2012 1:07 pm
kanterella But it killed me cause I didn't want to say that but if I can find a way to tell people how would I go about telling they one who ask me? Do you think they would be mad and not wanna talk to me or glad I told them the truth? I think everyone needs to decide for themselves when and if they want to come out- but I think you could explain that you weren't ready to come out to the person who asked and they should be able to understand. If they can't respect your choice to keep it private- then maybe they need to grow a little before you can be that honest with them.
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Posted: Thu Jul 26, 2012 1:08 pm
kanterella Being gay is one of those things you just know right? I struggle with it not because I am trying to deny who I am but because I know that I would be completely rejected and alone. I have a friend or two who would still talk to me but my family would probably reject me. On top of that there was someone I always liked and they asked me straight or gay and I was like straight cause I obviously am not ready to say/do anything. But it killed me cause I didn't want to say that but if I can find a way to tell people how would I go about telling they one who ask me? Do you think they would be mad and not wanna talk to me or glad I told them the truth? I am saying this as someone who has straight out been rejected by my family and the only reason they haven't gotten rid of me is because their hoping me like girls is "just a phase." You just need to come out. Hiding your true self just makes you misreble and depressed and hurt. If your gay, say it loud and say it proud. Family is not about blood. It is who cares about u. My girlfriend's family is more my family (I seriously thinking Im their long lost daughter cause theyre a crapload more like me than my real fam) than my real family. I was in denial for 3 years about who I was and I would always feel guilty and horrible and every negative feeling under the rainbow. Be yourself and let everything fall where it may.
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Posted: Thu Jul 26, 2012 1:10 pm
Esiris kanterella But it killed me cause I didn't want to say that but if I can find a way to tell people how would I go about telling they one who ask me? Do you think they would be mad and not wanna talk to me or glad I told them the truth? I think everyone needs to decide for themselves when and if they want to come out- but I think you could explain that you weren't ready to come out to the person who asked and they should be able to understand. If they can't respect your choice to keep it private- then maybe they need to grow a little before you can be that honest with them. Thanks that does help. I mean they seem to be the kind of person who would understand I just wouldnt want them to think less cause I wasn't at the same place they were at that time. I just have to get there I guess.
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Posted: Thu Jul 26, 2012 1:12 pm
kanterella Thanks that does help. I mean they seem to be the kind of person who would understand I just wouldnt want them to think less cause I wasn't at the same place they were at that time. I just have to get there I guess. They might be a little hurt- but if they really understand, it shouldn't damage the friendship. cat_3nodding TheLostAngel-Mika I am saying this as someone who has straight out been rejected by my family and the only reason they haven't gotten rid of me is because their hoping me like girls is "just a phase." You just need to come out. Hiding your true self just makes you misreble and depressed and hurt. If your gay, say it loud and say it proud. Family is not about blood. It is who cares about u. My girlfriend's family is more my family (I seriously thinking Im their long lost daughter cause theyre a crapload more like me than my real fam) than my real family. I was in denial for 3 years about who I was and I would always feel guilty and horrible and every negative feeling under the rainbow. Be yourself and let everything fall where it may. It's not always safe to do that- only the person in the situation can tell if they're safe and ready.
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Posted: Thu Jul 26, 2012 1:13 pm
If anything, go with your gut. You have to look out for your best interest and what's going to benefit you in the long-run.
Hiding your sexuality obviously frustrates you but on the same token, opening up about it could have serious consequences.
I think that if and when people ask you, you should just be upfront about it. Other than that, don't bring it up, especially if it's not an issue. Your orientation shouldn't run your life the only thing it determines is who you're sexually attracted to and who you're not. Being gay doesn't change you as a person so just keep on being yourself and don't make a fuss of it.
c:
I wish you luck!
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Posted: Thu Jul 26, 2012 1:16 pm
Esiris kanterella Thanks that does help. I mean they seem to be the kind of person who would understand I just wouldnt want them to think less cause I wasn't at the same place they were at that time. I just have to get there I guess. They might be a little hurt- but if they really understand, it shouldn't damage the friendship. cat_3nodding TheLostAngel-Mika I am saying this as someone who has straight out been rejected by my family and the only reason they haven't gotten rid of me is because their hoping me like girls is "just a phase." You just need to come out. Hiding your true self just makes you misreble and depressed and hurt. If your gay, say it loud and say it proud. Family is not about blood. It is who cares about u. My girlfriend's family is more my family (I seriously thinking Im their long lost daughter cause theyre a crapload more like me than my real fam) than my real family. I was in denial for 3 years about who I was and I would always feel guilty and horrible and every negative feeling under the rainbow. Be yourself and let everything fall where it may. It's not always safe to do that- only the person in the situation can tell if they're safe and ready. Yeah. I mean for the most part I could almost do that but there are like 3 people who I have the most amazing relationship in the world with in my family but they would reject me. Thats what kills me about the situation.
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Posted: Thu Jul 26, 2012 1:19 pm
Der Fluch des Pharao If anything, go with your gut. You have to look out for your best interest and what's going to benefit you in the long-run.
Hiding your sexuality obviously frustrates you but on the same token, opening up about it could have serious consequences.
I think that if and when people ask you, you should just be upfront about it. Other than that, don't bring it up, especially if it's not an issue. Your orientation shouldn't run your life the only thing it determines is who you're sexually attracted to and who you're not. Being gay doesn't change you as a person so just keep on being yourself and don't make a fuss of it.
c:
I wish you luck! Thanks. I completely agree that no matter what i'm the same person and it doesn't make me a bad person but I just wouldnt be able to convince some people of that. Thats why I posted here was to just be able to talk about it for a minute and not feel judged.
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Posted: Thu Jul 26, 2012 5:11 pm
ok your slightly starting to annoy me personally. So my advice is different then yours, no reason to comment on it. Yes I agree sometimes its not safe but sometimes its better to not have that weight in your chest anymore. A person should not live in fear just because their different. Im not. People outright hate my guts for no more reason than Im different and I outright said "F you bitches. I got more class, more sass, and more a$$ than you could ever dream of having." To live in fear is to live a misreble excuse for a life and I know this from personal experience. Someone wants to beat the sh*t out of me for loving my girlfriend? I say bring it on. Someone wanna draw a gun on me? Shoot me for all I care cause I know I lived a life where I was true to myself.
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Posted: Thu Jul 26, 2012 5:31 pm
Mika, this is public forum. People are allowed to disagree. That's a pretty normal part of a discussion. If you don't want a specific person to be able to quote you or address you in any way, then use the ignore feature.
On the topic at hand, coming out is not always the right choice for someone. It may be unsafe, or just not worth the trouble. What's best for one person isn't necessarily best for another. It's not something anyone can or should decide for someone else.
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Posted: Thu Jul 26, 2012 6:03 pm
Nya whatever. I give up. A person can do whatever the heck they want. Like now I am going to go be a perv and read amazing twincest fanfiction of Rin and Yukio from Blue Exorcist.
~Later peeps
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Posted: Thu Jul 26, 2012 8:56 pm
kanterella Yeah. I mean for the most part I could almost do that but there are like 3 people who I have the most amazing relationship in the world with in my family but they would reject me. Thats what kills me about the situation. I don't know those people- so I can't say for them, but I thought that way about my grans and I was suprised when she called my mama a "******** c**t" for abusing me because I'm not straight. I hope when/if you come out- you get many pleasant surprises and that you'll be safe and happy. cat_3nodding TheLostAngel-Mika Yes I agree sometimes its not safe but sometimes its better to not have that weight in your chest anymore. A person should not live in fear just because their different. Im not. People outright hate my guts for no more reason than Im different and I outright said "F you bitches. I got more class, more sass, and more a$$ than you could ever dream of having." To live in fear is to live a misreble excuse for a life and I know this from personal experience. Someone wants to beat the sh*t out of me for loving my girlfriend? I say bring it on. Someone wanna draw a gun on me? Shoot me for all I care cause I know I lived a life where I was true to myself. I just don't think it's right to slam people who can't live like that- the b***h who tried to beat my head in for being a "lesbian" might have killed me except for my friend in the room- I know what it is like to face death like that and I don't blame anyone for not wanting to die.
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Posted: Thu Jul 26, 2012 8:58 pm
Esiris kanterella Yeah. I mean for the most part I could almost do that but there are like 3 people who I have the most amazing relationship in the world with in my family but they would reject me. Thats what kills me about the situation. I don't know those people- so I can't say for them, but I thought that way about my grans and I was suprised when she called my mama a "******** c**t" for abusing me because I'm not straight. I hope when/if you come out- you get many pleasant surprises and that you'll be safe and happy. cat_3nodding TheLostAngel-Mika Yes I agree sometimes its not safe but sometimes its better to not have that weight in your chest anymore. A person should not live in fear just because their different. Im not. People outright hate my guts for no more reason than Im different and I outright said "F you bitches. I got more class, more sass, and more a$$ than you could ever dream of having." To live in fear is to live a misreble excuse for a life and I know this from personal experience. Someone wants to beat the sh*t out of me for loving my girlfriend? I say bring it on. Someone wanna draw a gun on me? Shoot me for all I care cause I know I lived a life where I was true to myself. I just don't think it's right to slam people who can't live like that- the b***h who tried to beat my head in for being a "lesbian" might have killed me except for my friend in the room- I know what it is like to face death like that and I don't blame anyone for not wanting to die. (points to comment above of me no longer caring and reading about twin boys screwing each other and drooling)
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Posted: Thu Jul 26, 2012 9:00 pm
TheLostAngel-Mika (points to comment above of me no longer caring and reading about twin boys screwing each other and drooling) If you don't care that's ok- I can still post a response. cat_3nodding
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Posted: Fri Jul 27, 2012 10:59 am
Esiris TheLostAngel-Mika Yes I agree sometimes its not safe but sometimes its better to not have that weight in your chest anymore. A person should not live in fear just because their different. Im not. People outright hate my guts for no more reason than Im different and I outright said "F you bitches. I got more class, more sass, and more a$$ than you could ever dream of having." To live in fear is to live a misreble excuse for a life and I know this from personal experience. Someone wants to beat the sh*t out of me for loving my girlfriend? I say bring it on. Someone wanna draw a gun on me? Shoot me for all I care cause I know I lived a life where I was true to myself. I just don't think it's right to slam people who can't live like that- the b***h who tried to beat my head in for being a "lesbian" might have killed me except for my friend in the room- I know what it is like to face death like that and I don't blame anyone for not wanting to die. oh i wish i could tip posts. miserable excuse or not i love my life and hope to keep living it for as long as i am able @op even if you arent afraid for your life you still shouldnt come out unless you feel ready to. i pretended i was straight for quite a number of years because i felt ashamed but once i came out and found out which friends loved me no matter what and which friends wanted nothing to do with me i felt alot better. but dont rush it unless you feel ready. comming out is a big step and only you can tell when you are ready. i lost a couple friends and that hurt but i also found out who my true friends were and that made it worth it to me
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