I wrote this for english class last year. just wondering how I could improve it. We were supposed to make it where it was obvious who the poem was about like what kind of person or object.
My teacher said that it had nothing in it to identify who it was. It just seemed like a bunch of jibberish.
Anyways to improve?
The Silent Girl
by: Stefan Lee Salvatore
The music is ringing in my ears,
The music that no one will ever hear.
The silence that surrounds me,
Makes me see the world differently.
People talking always forgetting,
I can't hear them hitting.
During the lecture the school delivers,
I wish I wasn't here.
All I feel is the vibration,
Of the world I want to live in.
I keep trying to understand,
Why is it this girl in the quiet land?
People sign about Crickets,
But I just don't get it.
No one tries to really learn,
How I talk my fingers burn.
What is this light flashing for?
Could it be the phone or someone at the door?
Two lights tell me you're there,
But at this point do I really care?
In this awful silent universe,
Does it have to be so diverse?
I am often left to be alone,
The silent community is my home.
by: Stefan Lee Salvatore
The music is ringing in my ears,
The music that no one will ever hear.
The silence that surrounds me,
Makes me see the world differently.
People talking always forgetting,
I can't hear them hitting.
During the lecture the school delivers,
I wish I wasn't here.
All I feel is the vibration,
Of the world I want to live in.
I keep trying to understand,
Why is it this girl in the quiet land?
People sign about Crickets,
But I just don't get it.
No one tries to really learn,
How I talk my fingers burn.
What is this light flashing for?
Could it be the phone or someone at the door?
Two lights tell me you're there,
But at this point do I really care?
In this awful silent universe,
Does it have to be so diverse?
I am often left to be alone,
The silent community is my home.
This is about a deaf girl.
Comments?
