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^I sound pretty desperate. and usually I'm not this desperate when it comes to boys, but now, I'm screwed.
btw, this will be long so thank you so much if you're willing to read this and help me out.
so I used to date this guy. we dated for a year (surprising, my relationships never last) and just 2 months ago, we broke up. well, I broke up with him. there wasn't anything wrong with him or anything, it's just that, well, I lost feelings for him. and that's usually the case with every guy I've been with. I'm never really affected by it, I'm more like the "heh, our relationship was ******** up from the beginning. time to throw a party with all mah girlfranz" kind of person, and I'm completely fine with that. the following week after the breakup, my phone exploded with his text messages. text messages saying "omg i need u so much please sad " and "i can fix myself, we can make this work" and I always say "I just lost feelings, I hope you understand, I'm so sorry" all that cheesy s**t. it felt weird to have broken so many guys' hearts, since I'm always the one ending the relationship.
but... but but but... this time I was the one screaming "I NEED YOU" and all that.
it's summer, but school is starting on Monday. next Monday. every summer, I swim at this place called MTW (something tidal waves) and when school restarts, I swim at school. I passionately love swimming and it's literally my only source of happiness... if dried mangoes don't count. this year though, I'm leaning towards staying at MTW. why? well, I've been asking myself too. but the problem is, it's too expensive, so I can't stay for the school year. just last month, there was this guy who joined MTW. let's call him K. my life has changed since he came to the pool said "I'M NEW!" and cannonballed (lol is that a word? cannonballed?) into the pool. his cousin, S., swims here every summer like I do, and boy, we were close friends. the next Saturday after K. joined, I went to S.'s house for a "playdate" (YOU'RE NEVER TO OLD FOR PLAYDATES). we do this a lot. we go to either one's house, log into skype, and we skype people. heh, typical high school playdate (not really). when I went to S.'s house that day, K. was there and so were his 2 little brothers. so . okay. normal. cousins visiting cousin. they were watching tv, so I joined them. there wasn't much space, so we were all squished. and I was stuck in between K. and S. okay. normal so far. after a couple of awkward minutes, K. poked me in the arm and said, "you wanna go do something else?" I, the naive little b***h who would probably be the first person to die in a zombie apocalypse, went with him. he took me to S.'s room and the first thing I thought was "RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE" but nope, he didn't do that, thank God. he just sat down on the bed and said, "so what's your name? I didn't really catch it at swimming." blahblahblah normal conversation about swimming
WHEN SUDDENLY
"are you single?" WOAH, K. we just met for a couple of days. and so after a bit of thought, I said, "yeah." and he just nodded and said, "okay." then blahblahblah skype blahblahblah then I went home.
the next two weeks at swimming, things were kinda... complicated...? my clingy ex-boyfriend went to the pool, and went to me and started a bit of a ruckus (LULULUL DRAMA KING -.-"). I was SWIMMING. we were on intervals. when I reached the wall, he literally GRABBED MY ******** LEG and uhm... things got ugly. my coach got mad and kicked me out of the pool. thanks for ruining practice, wonderful ex. but it didn't end there. he started yelling at me, he started saying a bunch of s**t that really ticked me off. "you KNOW you need me. you know you're gonna come crawling back to me-"
WHEN SUDDENLY
"hey, you get off her back." K CAME TO THE RESCUE OMG... wait... how'd he get out of the pool? anyway, teh horrific ex looked offended and said, "do you know who you're talking to? I'M HER BOYFRIEND" woah woah woah, we ended our relationship a month and a half ago, so ******** off. K. looked at me, clearly confused and so I said "oh, we broke up weeks ago." teh horrific ex wasn't gonna end it there, he started cursing at me and got kicked out of the pool (the pool deck) for a public disturbance.
okay, now that b***h-man was gone, K. said to me "I can see why you broke up with him" with a small smile. HOLY SHAT, SOMEONE SMILED AT ME.
kay, the next day, I felt something weird when I saw him. I felt something that I never really felt with anyone before. it was a weird but pleasant feeling.
day after that, he wasn't there. I was sad.
day after that, he was. I was happy.
the weekend, I missed him. that was when I realized that something was up.
and just this week, I realized, I ******** ADORE THAT BOY. I want to be with him. I didn't care if I was his "girlfriend". I just wanted to be around him. his presence was all I needed. and I never felt like this before, so this was really new to me. I knew that it wasn't possible for me to love him, cause I've only known him for 3 weeks (or was it 2? I lost track). this wasn't the "hey I think you're cute, I like you" kind of feeling. this was different. my bitter, cold heart felt this new tingly feeling. what is it?
okay, pause right here. it's August. school starts on Monday for me, and I wasn't allowed to stay after August because of the expenses. so I only have 2 weeks of August left. FMLFMLFMLFMLFMFLFMLFMLFMFLMFLFML
and now we play again.
so just today, the most BEST thing happened. after we hopped out of the pool, he grabbed my wrist and pulled me to the field right behind the pool, me saying, "what? hey!" the whole time. we walked a bit (not hand in hand :c) and after a while, he stood in front of me and said "yeah this is weird, but please don't run away" D'AWWWWW moment right there "S. told me that you're only staying for August" and I nodded. then he took a deep breath and said "I wish you could stay longer." he put his hand on my shoulders (WAT OMGOMGOMG HIS HANDS ARE ON MY SHOULDERS AND I'M ******** COLD BECAUSE I JUST HOPPED OUT OF THE POOL AND I'M SOAKED) and wrapped his arms around me (OMGOMGOMGOMG HE'S HUGGING ME) and whispered in my ear "in case you haven't noticed, I like you" OMG. OMG. JUST OMG. HE LIKES ME.
WHEN SUDDENLY- I'm saying this too much
"oh uh, what am I doing..." he said, his face as red as a tomato, and ran off. OMG. YOU DECLARED YOUR LOVE FOR ME AND RAN OFF. WHY. crying crying crying
and now, I'm sitting here thinking, WHAT'S GONNA HAPPEN AT SWIMMING ON MONDAY ASDFGHJKL
what do you guys think. >w< I only have 2 more weeks to see him. crying
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