Drop the "i"

[jaysuss]

This is a bit of a rant/pet peeve.

I'm trans, so this will make a bit more sense with that knowledge.

I hate it when people (especially love interests) refer to me as "boi" and not "boy"... it seems like no big deal, and I guess it's not. I'm not sensitive about things like that at all usually. I just don't care.
But that... it's one thing that actually causes me discomfort and makes me feel dysphoric.
I mean, it's just a word. Not a slur. Not an attack.
But it just feels like... they don't think of me as a man.
They would never call a biological male "boi", it would be "boy", no questions asked.
So why "boi" for me? I don't ask to be called that. I stick to strictly male pronouns and terminology.

Thoughts?

 

[ExplodingInk]

I think you are right, they should accept that you are a boy. Not a 'boi' that is singling you out, I feel anyways.
It also depends on how you look at it. I mean, some people think they are
meaning no harm. When really the damage is done.
If you don't want to be called 'boi' (which seems to not even be a word) tell them
make sure they understand that you are not a 'boi'

 

[Lime Kiss]

I have seen boi used to refer to a male before, it seems some people have adopted it as a cutesy nickname kind of thing. I can see how it would bother you, though. Have you spoken to the people who use the wrong word?  

[jaysuss]

I've talked to a few people about it.
A lot of the time I feel like I won't be taken seriously about it because it's such a silly thing to be upset over, but I do usually point out that I don't like it.

Is it weird for me to feel bad for pointing it out, though?
It makes people feel like assholes for using a word that most people do not give a single damn about, and I just feel bad for it.
That doesn't mean I don't let how I feel be voiced, though.
I don't really mess around and let people walk over me.

 

[meligoth666]

I have heard the same gripe from my FtM folks so this is nothing new. The term "boi" has a wider audience with the androgynous genderbending population and since now many more younger individuals are starting out to express themselves genderwise, the world out there will only see what is starting and not the end result hence why the boy/girl= boi kinda got stuck.

But do not worry about labels anyways you gots bigger fish to fry =)  

[jaysuss]

It would make more sense for me if I were in any way androgynous, or if I were at the beginning of my transition/in a place where there are even a handful of people who are "outside of the gender binary", but there aren't any people who are. (Out, at least, I suppose.)

But I am masculine looking/presenting and I'm not "out", I live stealth as much as I can. I've been on testosterone for almost two years, nothing pre-pubescent or confusing about my appearance. I've got a beard, deep voice, the whole shabang.
So when people do know that I am trans, it's only because I trust them enough to tell them.
That's when it starts bothering me. It's not even the label or anything.
I'm not exactly sure why it bothers me, really, other than "it just does"  

[FauxZombie]

I can understand the frustration - though my main problem is people still addressing me as a female sometimes - with certain parts of the family it's unavoidable.
Even when I explain the situation to some friends, they lack to gain the exact reason for why I tell them and the fact that it does hurt to be referenced as a she.
I'm pre-op and I haven't started testosterone yet - I'm still working on checking with insurance to see if I'm covered or not and if I would have to pay anything for it or not - but it is a plan.

The only thing to do is merely explain to them why it upsets you or simply keep your mouth shut and bear through it you know?